Pro-Choice Student: Are you still pro-life in cases of rape?

Nick: Yes, I don’t see the crimes of a father as justification for abortion.

Pro-Choice Student: The kid is just going to be a painful reminder for the mother and detrimental to society.

Nick: Well, I was conceived in date-rape.

Pro-Choice Student: Oh….Well, I’m glad you’re here.

I have heard it multiple times in various situations, “Oh…I’m glad you’re here.”  This comes immediately after I’ve shared with someone who professes a pro-choice stance, using rape or another hard case as their silver bullet; that I was conceived in date-rape. The statement has always confused and bothered me, and here are 5 reasons why.

1: First of all, it is not a matter of “here” vs “there”; it is a matter of alive or killed in my most vulnerable state.

This common word choice is a symptom of the hedging done to preserve the moral superiority assertion within the argument. If the arguer wishes to maintain the status of loving people, and for that reason advocating abortion, they must somehow provide exemptions and softened word choice when dealing with me, a person to be aborted under their paradigm, in front of them.

2: You are not actually glad I’m here but feel socially awkward saying disparaging comments to someone in front of you.

I suppose I appreciate the pretense but I think a far more important conversation would be had without it. Are you not glad I’m here because I disagree with you on this very sensitive subject?
I understand how one could become defensive with such topics but I think this attitude stands directly against the culture of tolerance my opposition tends to preach. Please have a real conversation with me, let me know your honest reservations and genuine concerns; personal and societal growth can’t occur without it.

3: You are truly glad I’m alive because of the condition of my life.

This is rather subjective and wholly inconsistent with the rest of the pro-choice rhetoric. The rape exception is used to highlight the struggles both the mother and child may have as a product of the conception circumstances: financial, emotional, legal, social, educational and boundless others. Therefore, what makes me valuable? Is it because I graduated college that I am valuable to you? Is it because of the wonderful relationship I have with my mother? Is it because I am an employed contributor to society? Is it because I am not a felon? Valuing a life based on such arbitrary and subjective conditions ultimately states that I only matter if _____ is true. Are you willing to say that I’m valuable because I fit your criteria instead of having inherent worth? Are you willing to tell others the opposite?

 4: You are truly glad I’m alive but still hold the stance that abortion is a woman’s choice by right.

If you are pro-choice: The expression of happiness/gladness in this situation, if not affected by the conditional reasoning in #3, implies preference. If you are happy I am alive, you would therefore be unhappy if I was aborted. If abortion is therefore the morally inferior or at least less preferred choice, why would you openly support the inferior choice? What about the choice to abort when gender selection is the reasoning, is that choice still valid and absolute? The defense that abortion is an absolute right, and an owed choice, is flawed in its framing; choices are always present but consequences, however, are not. Something that is illegal can still be perpetrated, but the justice system has structured consequences to reduce the frequency and magnitude of a given transgression. Laws inherently speak to the “right” action in a given condition. If abortion is the inferior option, why is the law not obligated to match such sentiments?  

If you are pro-life: I have only seen this as the trepidation to preach or “push” your beliefs upon another person for fear of impropriety or extremism. If instead of pregnant women in cars going to Planned Parenthood, you saw mothers walking their 2 year olds in and leaving alone, I believe your fears of speaking out and asserting your beliefs would be given proper perspective in such issues of life and death.

5: You are truly glad I’m alive because I am human and therefore inherently valuable, unlike the preborn.

Ultimately every discussion boils down to this decision. Are the pre-born human and when, if at all, is abortion permitted? The most typical line for personhood is birth and this is faulted because it cannot be applied. It does not require being human to exit a birth canal upon fulfillment of gestation, no uniquely human trait is found therein. Terminology such as embryo and fetus along with the small size and number of cells existent at the time are used to exhibit development as the qualifier. Fetus and embryo were never intended to designate something or someone as sub-human, it is a mere development/age association akin to child, teen etc. Even application of development, be it age or physical condition cannot be evenly applied across the pre-born or the born. If enforced, many people would lose their right to life by simply not meeting the qualifications set forth by others. The only undeniable facet of personhood is genetic makeup, and this is established upon conception. Any other qualifying factor for one being human cannot be evenly applied with any significance or without discrimination based on an arbitrary and superficial line.

We must all thoroughly consider the full and even application of the ideologies we espouse. I hope these conversations can be had, for they are desperately needed. Please do so civilly, but also full of honesty and passion.

Human life is inherently valuable and deserves protection, I beg you to fight for it.

My name is Nicholas Charles D’Angelo, and my mother chose life for me.

By Jesi Smith: Wife, Mother of 5, Chief of Household Operations, Superintendent, Personal Nurse, Defender of "the least of these" and SaveThe1.com speaker.


I am new to this journey. My daughter is only 5 years old. She is mentally and physically disabled, still small enough to carry, quiet…mostly, and has not developed the larger, louder, and strange movements and sounds that most older people who are mentally and physically disabled seem to develop as they try to express themselves – yet. We have taken our daughter to concerts, plays, movie theatres, political speeches, and community events, and spend a lot of time in hallways and lobbies when she gets loud however, the hardest place to take a child with special needs is to church. We have found the cardinal sin of the Sunday service is not sexual immorality, lying, theft, or heresy.  No, it is having  distracting movements or loud sounds during worship or the message.

He is probably in his early 40’s and he is mentally disabled. Every week his mom brings him faithfully to church. There is a section in the back of the sanctuary where many families sit with their children of all ages with special needs. It is definitely a group that makes a joyful noise during worship and after the offering is taken they all leave to go to a special class during the sermon. But this week was different, her son was playing the tambourine that he brought every Sunday to worship God, one of the only ways he expresses praise to God, and a member of the church staff came up to him and asked that he not to use it in service anymore. It was disturbing to other people and it was distracting the band on stage.  

The mother was crushed, embarrassed, and offended. This is not supposed to be a concert but worship from all the people, right? She had worked hard all these years to take him, a grown man – which is no small task, out of the sanctuary when loud and for years has taught the special needs Sunday school class. She often is not able to join in the worship or listen to the sermon herself, so that her son and others like him can be taught the word of God. Now the one place that both her and her son could join with the church in the praise and worship was not available to her either. Why work so hard to come if even during a loud praise and worship service with everyone singing , keyboards, drums, and guitars he was not able to join in? Was his worship so offending among hundreds of others who may be clapping offbeat or singing off key that he was asked to stop? Put the church on the list of all the places that your special needs child cannot go and participate.

Do not get me wrong I know children can be a distraction and need to be taken out of the service when loud whether a crying baby, fidgeting toddler, or even my special needs daughter, but is there never to be a church that gives the mentally and physically disabled enough time or grace to stay in and adjust to a service? Is there no place for the disabled in corporate worship? Must they always be sent out to the lobby alone or to a room to sit alone? 

Many may not realize they and their parents have probably sacrificed more than most other church members just to show up to church. They probably have spent hours with parents or caregivers getting ready and getting in and out of their vehicle with wheelchairs, walkers, and medical equipment. They have likely spent most of their week in the hospital or battling illness at home and this may be one of the few Sundays they could even come to church this year. However, they will not spend this Sunday with the body of Christ being ministered to, but out in the hallway.

If the church truly wants to serve the “least of these” you have found that group in the disabled. How many people with disabilities come to your church? Where are all the people with handicaps anyway? They have nothing to offer the church. No money, no volunteering, no inviting their friends, they may be unlovely to look at, make weird noises, have improper behaviors,  spit more than normal, throw up routinely,  and do not even offer “acceptable” praise and worship. Many of them are unwanted even by their own parents. 

Over 90% of babies with a disability like our daughters are aborted. They are a group who cannot speak for themselves, cannot go where they want to go, or even eat or go to the bathroom without help . They ought to be honored as the most patient among us. The disabled who have been brought to the church are among the blessed few. 

First they are blessed to be alive, cared for, and well enough to attend;  second to have a parent or caregiver who love them enough to battle the process of getting them to the church.  Please do not send them out into the lobby or to an empty room to sit alone after all they have struggled with and endured just to make it into your doors. An update on the mentally disabled man with the tambourine – he refuses to play it anymore.