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Showing posts with label birthmom. Show all posts
Showing posts with label birthmom. Show all posts
Friday, February 3, 2017
Though Conceived in Adultery, I Am Not an Accident, by Lori Sealy
I’m adopted and several years ago I was privileged to learn
some of my back story from my birthmom.
I came crashing onto the scene under less than stellar
circumstances. My biological mom was a
musician who ended up in an adulterous affair with a married man – a married
man who had 6 children.
They had no plans for her to get pregnant – but she got
pregnant, and they got scared! They felt
the best decision for everyone was to have an abortion. To them, terminating a pregnancy seemed
better than terminating a marriage, and stopping the heart of an unknown,
unborn child seemed better than breaking the hearts of 6 well known, well-loved
children.
Together, they drove to an abortion clinic. They walked in, signed the register, sat down,
and waited . . . and waited . . . and waited.
They waited for almost an hour --
but nothing happened.
You see, a clerical error caused my birthmom’s name to be
skipped, while another’s name was called, and someone else’s life was ended.
That secretary’s mistake is one piece of the amazing
providential puzzle that perfectly came together and helped ensure that I would
eventually continue on to exist outside my mother’s womb. Another piece of that providence is that, as
my birthmom waited, the memory of a children’s Sunday School class from over
two decades earlier made its way to her mind.
It was a lesson on the Ten Commandments – a lesson she “just happened”
to sit in on one Sunday while visiting an out of town aunt who “just happened”
to take her to church -- a thing her family rarely did.
As she sat on a cold metal chair in that dark and dingy
waiting room, the words “thou shalt not
kill” rolled across her conscience like thunder and she became convinced
that what she was about to do was murder.
She turned to my biological dad and told him that as trying and
traumatic as it may be, she couldn’t go through with the abortion but would
find a way to carry me to term.
They walked in that clinic together. She walked out alone.
She spent the next seven months alone – hiding out in a one-room
hunting cabin deep in the woods of Sumter, South Carolina. She isolated herself from everyone in order
to try to avoid the shame of her circumstances, all the while being determined
to give life to the fruit of her circumstances.
That’s what she did, and her selfless sacrifice is why I’m
here.
She did not choose to continue down the path of personal convenience,
but radically reversed her course and set out on the rocky road of conviction –
conviction that the little one in her womb shouldn’t die because of her act of adultery.
When I pause to really ruminate on my story – the
circumstances through which I was conceived; my narrow escape from the abortionist’s
office; the other little boy or girl who
died that day; the marriage that was
rocked and wrecked by my birth; the
siblings who suffered because of their dad’s infidelity; the fear my birthmom faced as she sat contemplating
life and death in that little cabin; and the long-term consequences the
commitment to carry me personally cost her – when I think on these things, it
absolutely blows my mind. And it cost
her a lot -- many of her dreams died, but she willingly buried hers in order to
give life to mine.
Why am I here? . . . .
And should I even be?
I could look at my life and think, “I’m just an accident. I
shouldn’t exist. I’m nothing more than a
mistake.”
In those moments when doubt and guilt may rise up in me over
the dark details
God’s Word tells me that I’m not an accident, but that I am here – regardless of the
circumstances that got me here – because God wanted me here. It tells me
that in spite of the sexual sin of my biological parents, God sovereignly “formed my inward parts and knit me together
in my mother’s womb.” It tells me
that I am “fearfully and wonderfully
made.”
Several years ago, I received a note from my birthmom – the
woman who sacrificed so much for me. She
wrote to tell me of her own confidence that I am not alive by accident, but that
I exist by sovereignly secured appointment.
She wrote assuring me that, in spite of her own suffering, she wouldn’t
change a thing.
She wrote: “Lori, God made you on purpose. You’re not an accident or an afterthought,
you’re not on earth ‘just because,’ nor are you simply some random act of God’s
creativity. You were planned by the Creator of the universe, even if unplanned
by me. You were given God’s 100% stamp of approval from head to toe before you
were born – and the moment you were born He beamed with joy. I did too!”
Friends, I don’t know your story, but what I do know is that
no matter where you find yourself today – facing an unplanned pregnancy; working through the aftershocks of an
abortion; trying to decipher the details
of a birth that flowed out of adultery, or rape, or some other awful scenario –
all life has worth and meaning from womb to tomb.
Just as I am not an accident, neither are you -- nor is the
little life that may be forming inside you.
No matter what your story looks like in this moment, I want you to know
that there is a Redeemer in this moment.
There is a good God and a sufficient Savior who takes bad things and
makes them beautiful; who takes the most horrific messes and makes them
marvelous; who takes the saddest stories and creates the sweetest songs.
He has done that for me and for my birthmom, and my prayer
is that through me sharing my story, you might catch a glimpse of the hope and
help that can be found in Him!
BIO: Lori Sealy resides in North Carolina with her husband and their two
Tuesday, January 31, 2017
It Was Because I Loved Him That I Had to Let Him Go, adoption poetry by Patricia Lawrence
It Was Because I Loved Him That I Had to Let Him Go
I went through the labor,
but never held him in my arms
as I gave him for adoption
so others saw his childhood charms.
But it has always been my prayer
that all these years he did know --
it was because I loved him
that I had to let him go.
He has a special mother
to care for him I’m sure,
and the love she has for him
is one that will endure.
Though I never held him
or saw his boyish smile,
I have always loved him
and hope to see him in a while,
in a while in Heaven,
just through the pearly gates,
when we are together
where our loving Savior waits.
-- Patricia Lawrence
Written prior to meeting my son
I Am His Birthmom, But She is His Mother
I am his birthmom,
but she is his mother.
I gave him birth,
but she gave him other.
She gave him a home,
a mom and a dad,
She gave him something that I never had.
I didn't have a husband
to give him a man
to pattern his life
for good and not bad.
She stepped in when I was
so hopelessly alone
and didn't have things to give,
as she gave him a home.
She gave of her time
and showed him grace,
as she held him close
And looked into his face.
She raised him right,
and at times it was hard,
with trials of her own,
and at times she was tired.
I have great respect for her
and honor her too
for doing the things
that I couldn't do.
May God bless her
all of her days,
and may He always give to her
the Mother's Day praise.
-Patricia Lawrence
This poem was written as my Mother's day thanks to the fine woman who adopted the son I could not keep.
BIO: Patricia Lawrence is a widow, mother of 3 daughters, birthmother to one son,
Thursday, August 28, 2014
What Exceptions Do You Make? by Kyler Kiessling, born to a teen drug addict
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This is the reality of me and my family. When you make exceptions, you hurt other people because some people have lived through those experiences and don't want to see other people like us aborted.
My birthmom was only 18 when she had me. While she was pregnant with me, she tested positive for heroine. My biological father was doing heroine with her while they were dating. Because they shoplifted, the judge made her test for drugs. When she tested positive four times, she had to spend time in jail. People would say that she'd been through a lot, so she should have had the choice to abort me. Or, people would say she should abort the child -- abort me -- because you don't want to bring a baby in this world like that, while she's in jail and doing drugs.
Well, I got adopted by a very nice family who already had my older half-brother. We have the same birthmother, but different biological fathers. My adoptive parents fought against child protective services to be able to keep us together. They wanted to go trial and keep me in foster care.
My life is great! I play sports -- travel soccer. I have had a lot of opportunities for different kinds of sports, activities, travelling, friends, good education, etc.. I'm a friendly kid at my middle school. I go to church where I volunteer. I'm involved in my youth group. I'm a playful brother with my 4 siblings. I have a good relationship with my parents. I feel loved - by my parents, my siblings, my friends and my birthmom.
Today, my birthmom is a stunning, successful hair dresser and waitress. She's been drug-free for many years and not involved in crime. My brother and I get to see her often. We spend time at her house and my grandma's. My uncles are really cool with us. When my uncle got married last summer, my whole family went to the wedding and my brother and I got to spend the night at her house. My birthmom is very enjoyable person to be around. She's funny and cool. She plays video games with us too. I love her so much!
I'm glad she chose adoption and that she didn't want to abort me or my brother. She was 16 when he was born. In the United States, only 1% of pregnant women choose adoption when the pregnancy wasn't planned. I feel very loved that she chose adoption over abortion. But 50% are aborted. I'm sharing my story because I want more people to be inspired to choose adoption, but I also want to address the exceptions people: Every life is valuable! No one should be an exception. No one should be treated as less than the fortunate.
BIO: Kyler Kiessling wrote this in 2014 at 12 years old, when he was entering the 7th grade. He resides in Michigan and is the son of Save The 1 pro-life speaker Rebecca Kiessling.
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