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Thursday, January 19, 2017

My Daughter May Have Been Conceived By Rape, But I Have So Much Love For Her, by Nicole P.

On June 24, 2015 I was raped by the one person that was never supposed to hurt me -- my husband.  At his hands, I suffered a long history of domestic violence, unwanted sexual encounters, attempted murder and a miscarriage.  

I hadn’t had sex with my husband since the end of April because he had and STD he refused to treat.  I didn’t dare to have sex with him even if we used a condom. At that point he was irate that I wouldn’t sleep with him.  I was on pain medication because of a foot injury.

One night, I took a pain pill, took off my walking boot and got ready for bed.  I’m not sure how long I was sleeping but I woke up to him touching me. The room was dark and I was groggy.  I told him to stop, that I didn’t feel good.  He wouldn’t listen.  He tried grabbing for me more, and I elbowed him.  I told him to stop again, that I wasn’t having sex with him.  He then began forcing himself on me.  I was hollering at him to stop and get off of me.  I told him no, that I didn’t want to do this.  I began squirming around kicking as best I could.  It was hard to try to get away with my foot in so much pain.  I remember being hit with something, scratched and pushed around as he tied my wrists up.  When he started choking me, I thought I was going to die.  

When he was done, he untied me and said nothing.  He laid down and went to sleep like it didn’t happen.  I reached around the bed for my clothes and what he tied my wrists with.  I wrapped myself with a sheet and hobbled to the bathroom.  I sat on the floor for over an hour crying before I could compose myself.  He had tied me up with an extension cord.  I found this bizarre because I don’t remember one being in the room.  All I could think was he planned this all out.  It wasn’t a spur of the moment thing.  He was no longer my husband -- he was now my attacker.

I had been abused verbally, mentally, physically, sexually and economically by the person who chose me in life.  He had promised  to love me forever and protect me.  What he actually did to me is not love -- but sick!  We hadn’t had any sexual contact after that incident. 

I found out I was pregnant the week of my birthday -- pregnant from the night he raped me. When he found out I was pregnant, he began a plot to kill me.  Nevertheless, I was able to escape with my life.

I later found out there was a hemorrhage attached to the baby.  I contemplated an abortion because I was afraid there was nothing I could do to keep him away from my baby.  But the first time I felt my unborn child move, I knew an abortion wasn’t in the picture.  As my baby grew, my son decided to call my unborn child “baby bean” because we didn’t know the gender yet.

I had spoken to my attacker and seen him on occasion.  He never admitted to the rape or attempted murder.  He never spoke of the miscarriage from a prior pregnancy when he was abusing me.  He apologized for some things and begged me to take him back, but I refused.

At eight months into my pregnancy, my husband was coming over to discuss divorce and what to do regarding "baby bean." He was in a good mood and figured it was time we had this conversation like adults, but instead, he used this opportunity to bind and rape me again.

He then took me to the hospital because I was having contractions.  He stayed the entire time.  I never told the nurses what happened because he wouldn’t leave the room and I was frozen.  I was so afraid he damaged my baby and I just felt so vulnerable.

Despite all of the abuse and the stress, I instantly loved my little girl so much!  She may have been conceived by rape, but I had so much love for her the moment I laid eyes on her.  She was so beautiful and perfect -- my tiny miracle!  I chose to keep her and love her unconditionally.  She never inflicted any pain on me.  She was just created and that’s all there is to it.  

I told my attacker I had her later that morning.  He never asked how either of us were.  He just called me filthy names.

Abortion shouldn’t be the solution to a situation like mine, and women shouldn’t be forced into adoption either.  It took a lot of suffering and courage to finally leave and I’m glad I have a voice now and the opportunity to share the truth about what happened to me.

BIO:  Nicole P. is a mother of two and pro-life blogger for Save The 1.

Chileans Who Are the "3 Causes" Being Targeted Say NO to Legalizing Abortion in Chile, by Rebecca Kiessling

I was very disappointed to hear the horrible news on Monday that in a 3-2 vote, a Senate panel in Chile had agreed to move legislation forward to legalize abortion "in three causes" -- if a woman says her preborn child was conceived in rape, if a doctor says a preborn child has a "fatal fetal impairment" or if a doctor says the mother will die without an abortion. All three of these are based on allegations which may or may not be true, but all three also discriminate against the most vulnerable members of society -- the ones who deserve the most protection.  Next week, the full Senate will vote on whether innocent children deserve to die based on these allegations, and if approved, it will go to pro-abortion President Michelle Bachelet for signature, and Chile will see an explosion of innocent blood being shed on its land.

I've previously written regarding this pending legislation in Chile, and now I'd like to add more to this discussion.  I’m the President of Save The 1 - a global pro-life organization of over 450  who were conceived in rape (like me) and mothers who became pregnant by rape who are either raising their children, birthmothers, or post-abortive and regret aborting.  Additionally, we have hundreds who were told to abort due to a challenging pre-natal diagnosis.  We value life and urge the Chilean Senate to continue to protect all human life, without discrimination.

Our Spanish division is Salvar El 1 -- the 1% who are targeted by such legislation, who allegedly only represent 1% of all abortions in the U.S. and globally.  We defend the so-called "hard cases" in the abortion debate.  We now have over 24,000 followers on our Salvar El 1 Facebook page.  Since the news broke that President Bachelet was seeking to legalize abortion in Chile, we have had several citizens of Chile come forward to share their difficult stories with us.  They were encouraged by my story, and the hundreds of other stories of beautiful people from our organization.  Many voices are being heard in Chile, but most importantly, the voices of the innocent must be heard, and these bold Chileans are speaking on behalf of those who are being targeted who are yet at risk!

Like me, Karina Silva from Santiago, Chile, was conceived in rape, but protected by law.  Her mom was 15 when she was raped, and Karina was born in 1989 -- the same year Chile abolished abortion.  But people like Michelle Bachelet think Karina did not deserve the protection she received under Chilean law.  President Bachelet and others are not proposing to legalize the death penalty for rapists, but this is precisely what they are proposing for innocent Chilean children like Karina!

Karina says, "I love living! And I appreciate every second that I have. Perhaps to society my life was written for a failure, but it was not!  The solution is not the approval of abortion in Chile -- the solution is to form support networks in our country for these cases."

On the other hand, Monica -- also from Chile -- became pregnant as a result of rape and was determined to kill her baby, until she reached out to her oldest daughter who said, "Mom, how are you going to kill that baby you carry in your womb?!  That baby is as much a victim as you are!  She did not ask to come into the world.  You always dreamed of having three children and, anyway, this will be your third child.  Did you forget everything you suffered in miscarrying your child and now you want to kill this baby who is a victim just like you?”

In her story written for our blog, Monica wrote:  "Those words touched me to the depths of my being.  She was right -- that baby was a victim of my rapist.  Now I see my daughter who is 4 years and 8 months old, and I ask forgiveness for ever thinking  of aborting her!  But such is the pressure, when you ask those who are supposed to help.  You doubt your own ability to love.  But if it were not for my older daughter who is now 24 years old, my 4 year old would not exist today.  You can survive with a child of the most aberrant act that is the worst violation – a rape.  Always find angels in your life who give you support – those who do not offer you “solutions” which are even more problematic.  My child is a blessing – MY blessing!  I will ask forgiveness to the last day of my life merely because I even thought for a moment about aborting my daughter."

Then there is Diana Valeria from Chile, who became pregnant by rape in 2008 at 15 years
old, who says her baby helped her to overcome fear.  She wrote: "I was afraid because I did not want to be a mother. I cried and suffered a lot, but I knew that there was someone else who was living within me and it was not my right to do anything but protect my baby." Ultimately, she miscarried after three months. Diana regrettably remembers people saying to her, "Now you will not have to see the memory of the rapist." But inside, she felt this child was her own, not the rapist's.

Even knowing that her child had been conceived in violence, Diana felt strongly that the origin of her baby's conception does not define the love she feels for her child. Still today, over the years, she says she has not forgotten an angel who spread her wings.

Gustavo Armijo Griñen from Chile also wrote out his family's story for us.  At 20 weeks gestation, they had the first ultrasound where they learned they were having a son, but they were also told that their son had "holoprosencephaly."  At a second opinion in Santiago, Chile where they got a 3D ultrasound, the diagnosis was "Acrania" (their son was missing part of his encephalic mass,) and it was recommended that they abort their child if Chile legalizes abortion for this case, or leave Chile to abort.

He wrote:  "The following months were very hard, but also the best.  As the weeks passed, we sang to him, we talked to him, we went to the beach, the countryside, birthday parties, and to many family gatherings.  We took thousands of photos, and gave many kisses on the belly and never got tired of saying that we LOVED him.  He was the most beautiful thing God could send us.

Baby Alonso was born two weeks early on December 23, 2015 -- .  "
My little one was with us one hour and two minutes. Then he went to heaven because God needed a fighter angel. It's been 4 months now since our son's death.  We are happy because we gave the best in our hands for him to be happy while growing in the womb and in the short hour he was with us."

In regards to a diagnosis of “incompatible with life” – it is impossible to be such when you are still living.  Physicians who peddle abortion are truly the ones with fatal heart defects, often failing to treat the children of parents who refused to abort.  A eugenics mentality becomes pervasive when you allow abortion.

Pro-Life speaker and blogger Brad Smith from Save The 1 had this to say:  "In the USA, we
have allowed this perverse and demented view of life to take hold in our country through legalized abortion.  We have created a culture of death that causes many in our society to think of life as having little value and they are willing to judge the worth of another person’s life based upon their valueless view.  So now in the United States, doctors kill over 90% of children like my daughter Faith who have a disability.  Before they can even breathe their first breath, doctors murder our disabled children in the womb. The world has become a very scary place for disabled children.  Good people of Chile, do not let your president turn your country into a killing field for disabled children.  Don’t allow yourselves to be deceived that this is the best choice for everyone involved.  This is a LIE.  Your country will not be made better through abortion; rather, it will become degraded and dehumanized.  Your people will not have better lives because disabled children do not exist; they will simply have been deprived of the opportunity to develop compassion and to know the unconditional love of a disabled child who has only love to offer."

Please understand that legalizing abortion for rape or other exceptions would send a message to our people groups that our lives are worth less than anyone else’s.  Imagine having an exception in cases of Asian babies, African babies, or Jewish babies.  The message sent is that these people are not worthy of living and did not deserve to be protected like everyone else.  There would be an international outcry if such discrimination were even proposed.  Yet, it is the same for us, and we feel the sting of such hatred against or apathy toward our lives.  The rape survivor mothers grieve how their children are systematically targeted and devalued, and they are not believed they were raped because they didn’t abort and because they actually love their children.

We appreciate concern for rape victims, but they are 4 times more likely to die within the next year after an abortion, as opposed to giving birth.  In Dr. David Reardon’s book, Victims and Victors: Speaking Out About Their Pregnancies, Abortions and Children Resulting From Sexual Assault, he cites the research done on the subject.  After an abortion, rape victims have a higher murder rate, suicide, drug overdose, etc..  Rapists, child molesters and sex traffickers love abortion, which destroys the evidence and enables them to continue perpetrating.  Oftentimes, a girl’s own mother has been either trafficking her or leaving her unprotected.  It is always the baby who exposes the rape, who delivers her out of the abusive situation, protecting her and bringing her healing.  So if you care about rape victims, you must protect her from the rapist and from the abortion, and not the baby!

Chile, you are a good nation -- a nation so much better than others -- because you’ve established a culture where people are loved and accepted.  The Chileans mentioned above are able to share their life-affirming stories because they were all protected by your 1989 law.  Please do not re-introduce a culture of death and discrimination.  We urge you to contact your Senators and tell them to vote NO to legalize abortion for the three causes -- to vote NO to legalize the slaughter of innocent children.  Let no Chilean blood be spilled on your soil!

BIO:  Rebecca Kiessling is an international pro-life speaker, writer and attorney, as well as a
wife and mother of 5 – two adopted and three biological children, as well as another adopted child born with special needs who died in her arms at 33 days old.  She’s the founder and President of Save The 1, co-founder of Hope After Rape Conception, co-founder of Embryo Defense, and on the Executive Committee of Personhood Alliance.

To This Day, I Am the Mother of a Blessing - My Child Conceived in Rape, by Elizabeth Díaz Navarro from Costa Rica

My name is Elizabeth and I live in Costa Rica.  While attending university I was raped and I
got pregnant with a beautiful girl who, at the time, I wanted to abort.  Of course, as a young person who took care of herself -- a good girl -- I felt I did not deserve to be a single mom.  No, I had to abort!  However, one day while I was crying about my situation, my little girl (although at that moment I did not know if my baby would be a male or female) began to move.  I decided to receive therapy and I told myself, "Ok, I will place this baby for adoption -- I do not have to be burdened with a kid that I did not order."

Months passed and I learned my baby is a girl.  It was strange because I hated and loved her at the same time.  I was confused:  how could I love something that came from such a bad act?  The days passed and my princess was born.  Since I was a little girl, I would say: "When I have a daughter, her name will be Gaudy."

On February 19th, my much-questioned baby was born and to complicate matters, she was delivered by cesarean section.  When I woke up from the surgery, God had placed some wonderful nurses to care for me and lovingly they told me: "Look at that pretty girl."  Just like that, I fell in love with my daughter. Yes, that little bundle of joy who smiled when I spoke, the one that "ruined" my life, that . . .  "That," as I called her when she was inside me.

When I went to see her in the hospital nursery, this little one who I had convinced myself deserved nothing from me, smiled at me and looked upon me with loving eyes. Yes, that baby stole my heart. Thanks to my psychologist and all those who helped me, I am happy, I survived, and I thank God because I have the best gift that life could give me -- my daughter. She is my everything, my little princess.

It has been 9 years since her arrival and thanks to her birth, I am a more complete human and a strong and happy woman.  I now know that abortion would have made my situation worse – especially since I am unable to have more children.  She is my blessing.  Abortion is never a solution.  Thank you my child.  You make my life a place full of love and hope!

The act of rape is so bad, but it cannot be healed with yet another act that is equally painful and violating.  Abortion will never help a rape victim overcome the trauma and will only make the situation worse. 

The same day that those men violated me, they also raped and impregnated my friend Karol, but she decided to abort.  At first, she thought that everything would be fine.  However, one day the two of us were in a park in San Jose.  It was December and my baby was then 10 months old.  When we saw each other, we cried a lot.  She saw my daughter and began describing to me what the face of hers would have looked like.  She shared with me that she could not stop feeling like a killer.  She knew that her little girl was not to blame but she understood this truth too late.  Everyone told her to abort “that bastard son of a horror.”  She had no one to help her with kind words of encouragement.  She said to me: "Eli, how I envy you because I will never know how she could’ve been . . . .”

Months later, I went to visit Karol, but to my horror, I found that she had committed suicide.  Her mother told me that she was never the same and that the abortion overwhelmed her.  I remember my friend as a beautiful and special girl.

We don’t need "butchers" calling themselves doctors.  What a victim of rape needs is psychological and emotional support and the aid of professionals -- not the words of people who aggravate the problem.  I wish all women had the opportunity to be supported to defend the lives of those who cannot defend themselves.  Those children, even from rape, are not to blame!

I do not want to judge.  I know how horrible rape is, but aborting will never help.  In my

country of Costa Rica, we do not have an army because we do not believe that violence solves violence.  However, there are, of course, still criminals and evil, but I was raised with the certainty that, using evil against evil, will never work.  On the contrary, to give love will bear fruit.  Believe me, it’s true!  Rape scarred me as a woman, but that "man" cannot do me any more harm.  I will never give him that power.  To this day, I am the mother of a blessing.  With therapy, with the love of my baby and with much help, I am happy and I could never imagine my life without her!

Note:  Elizabeth Diaz Navarro originally wrote her story in Spanish for our Save the 1 Spanish division, Salvar El 1, and a member of our Spanish team translated.