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Friday, February 3, 2017
Though Conceived in Adultery, I Am Not an Accident, by Lori Sealy
I’m adopted and several years ago I was privileged to learn
some of my back story from my birthmom.
I came crashing onto the scene under less than stellar
circumstances. My biological mom was a
musician who ended up in an adulterous affair with a married man – a married
man who had 6 children.
They had no plans for her to get pregnant – but she got
pregnant, and they got scared! They felt
the best decision for everyone was to have an abortion. To them, terminating a pregnancy seemed
better than terminating a marriage, and stopping the heart of an unknown,
unborn child seemed better than breaking the hearts of 6 well known, well-loved
children.
Together, they drove to an abortion clinic. They walked in, signed the register, sat down,
and waited . . . and waited . . . and waited.
They waited for almost an hour --
but nothing happened.
You see, a clerical error caused my birthmom’s name to be
skipped, while another’s name was called, and someone else’s life was ended.
That secretary’s mistake is one piece of the amazing
providential puzzle that perfectly came together and helped ensure that I would
eventually continue on to exist outside my mother’s womb. Another piece of that providence is that, as
my birthmom waited, the memory of a children’s Sunday School class from over
two decades earlier made its way to her mind.
It was a lesson on the Ten Commandments – a lesson she “just happened”
to sit in on one Sunday while visiting an out of town aunt who “just happened”
to take her to church -- a thing her family rarely did.
As she sat on a cold metal chair in that dark and dingy
waiting room, the words “thou shalt not
kill” rolled across her conscience like thunder and she became convinced
that what she was about to do was murder.
She turned to my biological dad and told him that as trying and
traumatic as it may be, she couldn’t go through with the abortion but would
find a way to carry me to term.
They walked in that clinic together. She walked out alone.
She spent the next seven months alone – hiding out in a one-room
hunting cabin deep in the woods of Sumter, South Carolina. She isolated herself from everyone in order
to try to avoid the shame of her circumstances, all the while being determined
to give life to the fruit of her circumstances.
That’s what she did, and her selfless sacrifice is why I’m
here.
She did not choose to continue down the path of personal convenience,
but radically reversed her course and set out on the rocky road of conviction –
conviction that the little one in her womb shouldn’t die because of her act of adultery.
When I pause to really ruminate on my story – the
circumstances through which I was conceived; my narrow escape from the abortionist’s
office; the other little boy or girl who
died that day; the marriage that was
rocked and wrecked by my birth; the
siblings who suffered because of their dad’s infidelity; the fear my birthmom faced as she sat contemplating
life and death in that little cabin; and the long-term consequences the
commitment to carry me personally cost her – when I think on these things, it
absolutely blows my mind. And it cost
her a lot -- many of her dreams died, but she willingly buried hers in order to
give life to mine.
Why am I here? . . . .
And should I even be?
I could look at my life and think, “I’m just an accident. I
shouldn’t exist. I’m nothing more than a
mistake.”
In those moments when doubt and guilt may rise up in me over
the dark details
God’s Word tells me that I’m not an accident, but that I am here – regardless of the
circumstances that got me here – because God wanted me here. It tells me
that in spite of the sexual sin of my biological parents, God sovereignly “formed my inward parts and knit me together
in my mother’s womb.” It tells me
that I am “fearfully and wonderfully
made.”
Several years ago, I received a note from my birthmom – the
woman who sacrificed so much for me. She
wrote to tell me of her own confidence that I am not alive by accident, but that
I exist by sovereignly secured appointment.
She wrote assuring me that, in spite of her own suffering, she wouldn’t
change a thing.
She wrote: “Lori, God made you on purpose. You’re not an accident or an afterthought,
you’re not on earth ‘just because,’ nor are you simply some random act of God’s
creativity. You were planned by the Creator of the universe, even if unplanned
by me. You were given God’s 100% stamp of approval from head to toe before you
were born – and the moment you were born He beamed with joy. I did too!”
Friends, I don’t know your story, but what I do know is that
no matter where you find yourself today – facing an unplanned pregnancy; working through the aftershocks of an
abortion; trying to decipher the details
of a birth that flowed out of adultery, or rape, or some other awful scenario –
all life has worth and meaning from womb to tomb.
Just as I am not an accident, neither are you -- nor is the
little life that may be forming inside you.
No matter what your story looks like in this moment, I want you to know
that there is a Redeemer in this moment.
There is a good God and a sufficient Savior who takes bad things and
makes them beautiful; who takes the most horrific messes and makes them
marvelous; who takes the saddest stories and creates the sweetest songs.
He has done that for me and for my birthmom, and my prayer
is that through me sharing my story, you might catch a glimpse of the hope and
help that can be found in Him!
BIO: Lori Sealy resides in North Carolina with her husband and their two
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2 comments:
What an amazing story. Thank you for sharing.
Praise the Lord for you Lori! Visited your page - wonderful music. My wife works with families with special needs babies - God bless you with your work with your son and other children with Autism. One thing I have learned from my wife (and the Word of course), all children are valuable to God and their families. I pray for the day when our society returns to valuing all life!
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