Life long or life altering decisions should not be made while distressed.

In Case of Rape

We often hear, "What about rape," when discussing abortion. People still succumb to a confused compassion, believing that somehow, killing her baby will help a woman heal from the core violation of sexual assault.

A woman traumatized by rape is often so damaged in her psyche that she doesn't even tell anyone. It is such a deep wound that talking about it can take decades. So, too, many people do not share their abortion experience for many years. They keep it a secret, an unspoken source of pain.

So, how is it that anyone could think the combination of two traumatic and excruciatingly painful events will somehow bring anything good?

Rape Conception

At this time, this is still an experience exclusive to women. Men get raped, but they don't get pregnant. Fathers, husbands, and male friends are super important to this conversation, though. Men were created to be protectors and providers complimenting women in the roles of family, leadership, and society. Both have value and both have a voice in the discussion.

Except are the perpetrators. Forcing a woman and penetrating her, causing her to become pregnant excludes that man from the conversation. His aggression should automatically exclude him from any part of what happens next. "Rapists love abortion," says Rebecca Kiessling, president of Save The 1. They would have the evidence destroyed. The rapist should never have parental rights either. That is a whole other blog post.

No one, other than the rapist, is forcing her to carry a baby. The baby, is an innocent second victim of the hideous crime of rape. Killing her baby by abortion is no different than killing her baby after he or she is born. Rape has changed her life forever, whether or not she conceives.
I know it's legal -that doesn't make it right. Slavery was legal too. Still wrong!
Will it be difficult? Most assuredly. Can she get through it? Absolutely. And she will be victorious. She will have protected the human rights of her baby, one of the smallest and most vulnerable of society.

She needs time to process

Pregnancy changes a woman forever. No matter the outcome. She has been a mom. Most women do not know they are pregnant for around 6 weeks. Since pregnancy is about 40 weeks, she will know about 34 weeks of pregnancy. For perspective, the average woman lives to 72 years in the USA. In reality, the impact isn't how long she's pregnant, but the fact that she has a baby.

Sexual assault survivors can thrive and I know many who have, but it does take some time to process the intense emotional impact of rape. There will also be a difference between one woman to the next, if it was a simple assault of a healthy woman or a complex situation of domestic violence, continued abuses, or trafficking. Each woman needs time to work through the core violation.

How much time is completely indeterminate. She may be in a healthy, sound place one day and go into a tailspin the next. Women shouldn't be expected to make decisions related to abortion or adoption without plenty counseling from neutral parties and of time to consider the implications.

Decision Reversal

Judge Lot Moroka believes as I believe, that a woman who has been raped needs stability and time to make a decision relative to placing her child for adoption. In the case, the decision was reversed because the judge recognized the "emotional rollercoaster" of rape conception.

A living human being was created by a terrible assault, but that living human being had no part in the actual crime. She was a second victim and like many women I know, she was loved at first sight.

A child conceived by rape is still a child, developmentally no different from any other child.

Darlene Pawlik is VP of Save The 1, a speaker and blogger at theDarlingPrincess.com
 She lives in New Hampshire with her husband of nearly 28 years.

After the trauma of rape, Save The 1 moms experience unexpected joy. There are a number of
reasons, but one of the biggest is made possible by generous donors, like you.

We thank you.

Donors make it possible for new rape survivors to find us and to engage in a community of others who truly understand the many aspects of dealing with rape conception. It is with your help that we can reach those who need us the most.

The complexity of rape conception can only be understood by those who have actually experienced it. There is anger, misplaced guilt, imposed shame, denial, relief, frustration, revulsion, love, fear, and a myriad of other emotional states that fluctuate wildly at any given moment.

Each situation differs as well. For me, the culmination of a lifetime of sexual abuse meant that I would deal with complex trauma. My biological father sexually abused me from toddlerhood and that core violation made me feel worth less than other people. It was a perfect set-up for a pimp to notice me at thirteen years old. I survived four brutal years of juvenile sex trafficking. My pregnancy was not the result of one rape, but many.

I knew it wasn't the baby's fault. She was merely a second victim of the hideous crime, but many people in our society hold onto a confused compassion. They believe that rape victims who become pregnant should submit to abortion. Saving my baby saved my life and she brings me tremendous joy everyday.

Save The 1 moms are able to find joy in knowing that there are others, many others, who have come through similar experiences victoriously. Whether parenting or placing their children for adoption, we are a safe, understanding group with which to share trials and gain perspective. So, we can find joy, even in the midst of what would otherwise be so devastating.

For those moms who have submitted to abortion after rape, your donations help to reach out to bless them with peace and hope, and resources for dealing with the aftermath of the additional trauma that abortion imposed on them. Your donations mean they hear the love and kindness of our 100% pro-life-pro-love community of believers.

This year Save The 1 speakers, men and women who have been conceived by rape or incest, moms or post abortive moms from rape, and parents or children targeted for abortion due to a poor prenatal diagnosis, have reached around the globe. 

Our President, Rebecca Kiessling had a huge impact from Ireland and Rebecca traveled and spoke in a number of countries in Europe, as well as South America. That means that tens thousands of people heard her in person and millions through media coverage.  Lives were impacted and public policy affected.

Here in the states, Brad and Jesi Smith, whose daughter has Trisomy 18, spoke at a number of events, as did I and others. Our message, that the people called "exceptions" in pro-life discourse are actually human beings with names, faces, value and are worthy of protection. That is literally being heard around the world because of your generous giving.

Your gifts enable us to purchase booth space at events like conventions, physician's conferences, political meetings, community events, the March for Life, and many others where we meet people who either had no idea how public policy became the way it is.  Many politicians endorsed as pro-life and even several major pro-life organizations push exceptions into laws which might protect women and children from abortion.  Some hold to the discriminatory idea that rape-conceived babies are somehow different from any other babies, or less worthy of protection.

The blog and podcasts, social media presence, our appearances and dissemination of resources are making such a difference!  We've collaborated with other pro-life organizations throughout the U.S. and globally to share our stories through documentaries, tv and radio ads, billboards, and on other websites.  Our Spanish division is thriving, our Portuguese division is growing, and we are now launching a Polish and German division, to reach more people with our stories and so noone ever has to feel alone with a difficult history.

We hope you have experienced great joy this Christmas and we are expecting a tremendously influential New Year with expanded projects to reach more people with the vital message that every human life is valuable.

You can make a tax deductible, year-end donation here today and help reach more people and Save The 1 -- the least of these.


Thank you so much for all of your support and sharing the 100% Pro-Life message.


-- Darlene Pawlik, Vice President of Save The 1, Pro-Life Speaker and Blogger. She lives in New Hampshire with her husband of 27years.