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Showing posts with label birthmother. Show all posts
Showing posts with label birthmother. Show all posts
Tuesday, January 31, 2017
It Was Because I Loved Him That I Had to Let Him Go, adoption poetry by Patricia Lawrence
It Was Because I Loved Him That I Had to Let Him Go
I went through the labor,
but never held him in my arms
as I gave him for adoption
so others saw his childhood charms.
But it has always been my prayer
that all these years he did know --
it was because I loved him
that I had to let him go.
He has a special mother
to care for him I’m sure,
and the love she has for him
is one that will endure.
Though I never held him
or saw his boyish smile,
I have always loved him
and hope to see him in a while,
in a while in Heaven,
just through the pearly gates,
when we are together
where our loving Savior waits.
-- Patricia Lawrence
Written prior to meeting my son
I Am His Birthmom, But She is His Mother
I am his birthmom,
but she is his mother.
I gave him birth,
but she gave him other.
She gave him a home,
a mom and a dad,
She gave him something that I never had.
I didn't have a husband
to give him a man
to pattern his life
for good and not bad.
She stepped in when I was
so hopelessly alone
and didn't have things to give,
as she gave him a home.
She gave of her time
and showed him grace,
as she held him close
And looked into his face.
She raised him right,
and at times it was hard,
with trials of her own,
and at times she was tired.
I have great respect for her
and honor her too
for doing the things
that I couldn't do.
May God bless her
all of her days,
and may He always give to her
the Mother's Day praise.
-Patricia Lawrence
This poem was written as my Mother's day thanks to the fine woman who adopted the son I could not keep.
BIO: Patricia Lawrence is a widow, mother of 3 daughters, birthmother to one son,
I'm a 78 Year Old Birthmom From Rape, and Have Never Regretted Saving His Life, by Patricia Lawrence
I'm 78 years old and I'm telling my story now while I still have the opportunity. I want people to know that pregnancy by rape is not the fault of the child, so why should we punish the child for something the biological father did?
My teen years were difficult. My mom was overly permissive while my dad was nowhere to be seen at this troubled time in my life. Dad even refused to pay the
child support the court had ordered. To me, this meant they didn't love me.
So I joined the U.S. Women's Army.
Eight weeks into Basic Training, I went on a double date which was a blind date. He was
also in the military, stationed at the same base. All I remember is that we had all driven somewhere and he gave me a drink. I passed out and have no memory of the rest of the evening. I don't even remember how I got back to the barracks or in bed.
Two weeks later, while standing in line for inspection, I passed out. I was taken to the base infirmary where the doctor examined me and said, "Private, because of your symptoms, I would say you are pregnant." I replied, "I can't be pregnant because I have not done anything to become pregnant!" He then said, "Still, we need to do a test to see if you are pregnant."
I was totally devastated to learn that I was pregnant. Since I hadn't been anywhere socially, I knew right away that it had to have been that night, and my date must have drugged and raped me. Of course, I told the doctor what had happened, the Army did conduct an investigation and contacted the rapist, but they kept me out of it and I was never informed of anything.
My commanding officer gave me 48 to call home and tell my mother what had happened and that I was pregnant. When I called home and told my mom I was being discharged from the Army because I was pregnant, she immediately asked, "Who, what, where, why, when and how?" I told her about the rape, and she just said that I needed to come home. It took a few weeks for all of paperwork to be completed, I was discharged from the Army, and returned home.
My mother and two sisters met me at the bus station and we got into my mother's car. Her first words to me were: "Patricia, you will have an abortion." It was May, 1957, I was 18 years old, and I did not know what that word meant. She told me it meant "they would take the baby" from me. The way she stated it, I knew that she meant something was going to happen very quickly, and that she wasn't saying they were going to take the baby from me after my baby was born. I realized this meant they would kill my baby.
Eight weeks into Basic Training, I went on a double date which was a blind date. He was
Two weeks later, while standing in line for inspection, I passed out. I was taken to the base infirmary where the doctor examined me and said, "Private, because of your symptoms, I would say you are pregnant." I replied, "I can't be pregnant because I have not done anything to become pregnant!" He then said, "Still, we need to do a test to see if you are pregnant."
I was totally devastated to learn that I was pregnant. Since I hadn't been anywhere socially, I knew right away that it had to have been that night, and my date must have drugged and raped me. Of course, I told the doctor what had happened, the Army did conduct an investigation and contacted the rapist, but they kept me out of it and I was never informed of anything.
My commanding officer gave me 48 to call home and tell my mother what had happened and that I was pregnant. When I called home and told my mom I was being discharged from the Army because I was pregnant, she immediately asked, "Who, what, where, why, when and how?" I told her about the rape, and she just said that I needed to come home. It took a few weeks for all of paperwork to be completed, I was discharged from the Army, and returned home.
My mother and two sisters met me at the bus station and we got into my mother's car. Her first words to me were: "Patricia, you will have an abortion." It was May, 1957, I was 18 years old, and I did not know what that word meant. She told me it meant "they would take the baby" from me. The way she stated it, I knew that she meant something was going to happen very quickly, and that she wasn't saying they were going to take the baby from me after my baby was born. I realized this meant they would kill my baby.
I said, "I will not
have an abortion because that is murder and I will not stand before God as one who committed murder." My mom replied, "Patricia, you're just being stupid." Both of my sisters agreed that I should have an abortion. I felt like I was being ganged up on, but I knew I had to stand for what was right.
The relationship between my mother and I grew colder over the next couple of weeks. One afternoon, I was asleep on the bed and awoke to my mother holding a rifle within one inch of my face, square between my eyes. I was totally afraid for my life! I instantly pushed the gun aside, frantically saying to my mother, "What do you think you are doing?" She said, "I am trying to frighten you so much you will miscarry the child."
At that point, I determined I would leave my mother's home. She mocked me, asking, "Where will you go, who will have you?" I said, "Juanita, my oldest sister will help me." But
Mom said, "She doesn't want your shame."
However, within days I went to live with my oldest sister, Juanita. Shortly after I arrived at her home, my other sister Mary came to me and said, "Patricia, hold out you hand." When I held out my hand, she dropped about 20 pills into my hand and said, "Mom says you are to take these all at once." I knew enough to know that taking 20 of any kind of pill was dangerous for your health and that my mother was intending to kill me. I walked into the bathroom, stood over the toilet, dropped the pills in, and flushed them away as I told my sister, "I may be dumb, but I am not stupid."
After my son was born, my mother confessed to me that the pills were medicine that was given to heart patients, and had I taken them as instructed, according to doctors, I would have had a massive heart attack. She never apologized, but I think in her own feeble way, she was trying to tell me she was sorry.
Finally, arrangements were made for me to go to the Salvation Army Home for Unwed Mothers in St Louis, Missouri, on November 2, 1957, where I was spent the remainder of my pregnancy. In the home, I experienced for the first time in my life unconditional love -- love from the workers there who loved all of us, and never condemned any of the nine girls in their care.
My son was born on January 11, 1958, in the early morning hours. He was a big baby, weighing in at 9 pounds 2 ounces and was 23 inches long. As he was being delivered, since it was the Salvation Army policy at the hospital within the home for birthmothers placing for adoption, my eyes were covered with a towel. They also strapped my arms down so I could not remove the towel. They did not let me see him until two days later when I was in the presence of a social worker.
The relationship between my mother and I grew colder over the next couple of weeks. One afternoon, I was asleep on the bed and awoke to my mother holding a rifle within one inch of my face, square between my eyes. I was totally afraid for my life! I instantly pushed the gun aside, frantically saying to my mother, "What do you think you are doing?" She said, "I am trying to frighten you so much you will miscarry the child."
At that point, I determined I would leave my mother's home. She mocked me, asking, "Where will you go, who will have you?" I said, "Juanita, my oldest sister will help me." But
Mom said, "She doesn't want your shame."
However, within days I went to live with my oldest sister, Juanita. Shortly after I arrived at her home, my other sister Mary came to me and said, "Patricia, hold out you hand." When I held out my hand, she dropped about 20 pills into my hand and said, "Mom says you are to take these all at once." I knew enough to know that taking 20 of any kind of pill was dangerous for your health and that my mother was intending to kill me. I walked into the bathroom, stood over the toilet, dropped the pills in, and flushed them away as I told my sister, "I may be dumb, but I am not stupid."
After my son was born, my mother confessed to me that the pills were medicine that was given to heart patients, and had I taken them as instructed, according to doctors, I would have had a massive heart attack. She never apologized, but I think in her own feeble way, she was trying to tell me she was sorry.
Finally, arrangements were made for me to go to the Salvation Army Home for Unwed Mothers in St Louis, Missouri, on November 2, 1957, where I was spent the remainder of my pregnancy. In the home, I experienced for the first time in my life unconditional love -- love from the workers there who loved all of us, and never condemned any of the nine girls in their care.
My son was born on January 11, 1958, in the early morning hours. He was a big baby, weighing in at 9 pounds 2 ounces and was 23 inches long. As he was being delivered, since it was the Salvation Army policy at the hospital within the home for birthmothers placing for adoption, my eyes were covered with a towel. They also strapped my arms down so I could not remove the towel. They did not let me see him until two days later when I was in the presence of a social worker.
I was told that I could hold him, but I chose not to do so because I did not want him to bond with me since he needed to bond with his adoptive mother. For his sake and
for mine as well, I knew it was best that I placed him for adoption. Even to this day, my heart breaks as I think about that moment, looking through the nursery window, telling him "I'm so sorry my precious little boy that I have to give you up, but for your sake and mine, I have to do this, so please forgive me." I loved that child. I had fought for him. I knew I had done the right thing for him.
I wasn't a believer -- I wasn't a Christian at that time, but I knew there was a just God, and that I was doing what was right before God and that He would honor that in some way.
Giving up this son for adoption was and still is one of the hardest things I have ever had to do in my life, but I knew his life was worth everything that I had gone through.
Giving up this son for adoption was and still is one of the hardest things I have ever had to do in my life, but I knew his life was worth everything that I had gone through.
When I saw my son, I didn't see the rapist. I saw my child, my own flesh and blood.
Two weeks later, I went back home and I was never allowed to talk about what I had been through. I was told by my mom, "now you will never find a decent man to marry you." However, seven months later, I met Wayne.
Two weeks later, I went back home and I was never allowed to talk about what I had been through. I was told by my mom, "now you will never find a decent man to marry you." However, seven months later, I met Wayne.
Terrified my mother would be right, nevertheless, about a month into dating, I told Wayne about my son. I knew we were falling in love and felt he had the right to know about my story. After telling him, he took me home and I thought, "There goes another one. No one wants used merchandise." Two days later, Wayne called me and asked if he could come see me. He drove me to a wonderful spot in the San Gabriel mountains, parked the car under a beautiful pine tree, turned to me and said, "Pat, I don't care where you've been or what you've done. What's important to me is what you can be to me now and in our future." Five days later, he proposed to me.
We were married 36 years, 8 months and 2 days, and he loved me despite all I had been through.
We were married 36 years, 8 months and 2 days, and he loved me despite all I had been through.
We went on to have three daughters. I prayed to God, "Why didn't you ever give me a son to raise?" I felt God answered me that my daughter was born on Christmas Day as a reminder to me that God knew what it was like to give up His only Son.
Years later . . . . On May 20, 1993, we began the trip to Missouri to the hometown of my son, Bob. We had agreed to meet in the parking lot of a Wal-Mart. When Wayne and I arrived, we did not see anyone who might be my son, so we waited on a bench outside the store. In about 10 minutes, there was walking toward us a big man. He was 6'4" tall and he had his wife with him. I had described what I would be wearing so he knew how to identify me. As he approached, I felt like a piece of a puzzle had just been put in place. We shook hands. We talked for a bit, then he asked us to follow him and his wife to their home.
That evening, Bob took my husband and me to the home of his mother for a dinner. It was
Years later . . . . On May 20, 1993, we began the trip to Missouri to the hometown of my son, Bob. We had agreed to meet in the parking lot of a Wal-Mart. When Wayne and I arrived, we did not see anyone who might be my son, so we waited on a bench outside the store. In about 10 minutes, there was walking toward us a big man. He was 6'4" tall and he had his wife with him. I had described what I would be wearing so he knew how to identify me. As he approached, I felt like a piece of a puzzle had just been put in place. We shook hands. We talked for a bit, then he asked us to follow him and his wife to their home.
That evening, Bob took my husband and me to the home of his mother for a dinner. It was
I had made her an afghan as my gift to her for doing the wonderful job she had done in raising my son, her son. Although I am his birth mom, she is indeed his mother. She did all the things of a mother and did them well. In my mind she will always be his mother.
Before dinner she said, "Patricia, would you ask the blessing on our meal?" I was honored.
This time was a very special time as I got to talk to and hug my son for the first time. My heart was bursting with happiness, and I was feeling so good about having given him life, when others wanted me to abort him.
I did give him
the details of how it came about that the only thing I could do at the time,
for his best interests and for mine as well, was to place him for adoption. When I told
him the story, he said two words that made the wait of 35 years worth it all.
He looked into my eyes and said, "THANK YOU."
Last year, a week after his birthday, my son completely surprised me by picking me up and taking me to lunch at a restaurant I frequented in my hometown. I introduced my son to the waitress, telling her that this is the son I placed for adoption. My son looked intently at the waitress, pointed to me and said, "I want you to know that this is one very strong woman." My heart was bursting with pride that I would hear him speak those words.
Last year, a week after his birthday, my son completely surprised me by picking me up and taking me to lunch at a restaurant I frequented in my hometown. I introduced my son to the waitress, telling her that this is the son I placed for adoption. My son looked intently at the waitress, pointed to me and said, "I want you to know that this is one very strong woman." My heart was bursting with pride that I would hear him speak those words.
I hope all of you can see how God takes the ashes of our lives and He makes them into a beautiful picture which He intends it to be!
BIO: Patricia Lawrence is a widow, mother of 3 daughters, birthmother to one son,
Wednesday, July 22, 2015
What It Means to Have a BIRTHday, by Rebecca Kiessling
Today is my birthday. I'm not at all ashamed to tell my age because it's very relevant. I was born July 22, 1969 -- exactly 10 months before the hearing date in Texas in Roe v Wade, and exactly 3-1/2 years to the U.S. Supreme Court decision legalizing abortion throughout the U.S..
I was conceived when my birthmother was abducted at knifepoint by a serial rapist. She went to two illegal "back-alley" abortions, and I was almost aborted. That was my life-changing, near-death experience. When we met when I was 19, even though she was very happy to meet me, my birthmom was pro-choice, and told me she absolutely would have aborted me if it had been legal, and that it should have been her right. Six years later, she completely changed her mind on the issue, and now, we are BOTH thankful that we were both spared the horror of abortion.
Many people will say to me, "I'm so glad your mother chose life." But she didn't. She chose abortion. Pro-life legislators, activists and voters chose life for me, and they are my heroes! I owe my birth to the law being there to protect me. I was lucky -- I was protected. Legality matters.
In the mid-1960's, there were efforts to legalize abortion in cases of rape all over the country. Norma McCorvey (Jane Roe from Roe v Wade) even lied, claiming she was gang-raped, in order to try to obtain an abortion in Texas. But I'm from Michigan, where there has never been a rape-exception in any laws. This is why I have a birthday to celebrate!
I'm so blessed to have people say many profound things to me as a travel around the world sharing my story. I get to hear things which many people don't get to hear in everyday life -- things like, "I'm so glad you were born!" I'm so very grateful for those words, but I believe that everyone deserves to hear them like I do, so I make a point of it -- whenever someone shares their personal story with me, or whenever I see it's someone's birthday on Facebook, or when someone tells me it's their birthday, I make a point of telling them, "Happy birthday -- I'm so glad you were born!" I'm amazed at how moved they are -- many responding with "Wow, thanx so much! No one has EVER said that to me before."
We need to be saying these words to one another. There are many who are hurting from our abortion culture who have bought the lie that their lives don't really matter. So please, take the time to tell others that you are so glad they were born.
Two years ago, on my birthday, my birthmother called to wish me Happy Birthday and to tell me that
my biological grandmother had died earlier in the day. I was born on her wedding anniversary, and she died on my birthday. We had both been to visit her a few weeks before. I got her to smile and to laugh by singing to her, "You Are My Sunshine." Please understand that God gave me the gift of voice for speaking only! So you can understand why anyone would laugh.
My birthmother and I had a long heart-to-heart. I told her that I had just arrived the night before to visit my in-laws in Massachusetts, but that I would fly home to be with her. At the end of our conversation, we were about to hang up when she stopped me: "Rebecca, Rebecca!" Then her voice broke, "I just want to say, I'm so glad I had you!" That was the best birthday gift ever!
This morning, I wrote this poem to share on Facebook, and I'd like to share it here as well:
Bio: Rebecca Kiessling is an international pro-life speaker, blogger, attorney, as well as wife and mother. She's the founder and president of Save The 1, co-founder of Hope After Rape Conception, and co-founder of Embryo Defense.
I was conceived when my birthmother was abducted at knifepoint by a serial rapist. She went to two illegal "back-alley" abortions, and I was almost aborted. That was my life-changing, near-death experience. When we met when I was 19, even though she was very happy to meet me, my birthmom was pro-choice, and told me she absolutely would have aborted me if it had been legal, and that it should have been her right. Six years later, she completely changed her mind on the issue, and now, we are BOTH thankful that we were both spared the horror of abortion.
Many people will say to me, "I'm so glad your mother chose life." But she didn't. She chose abortion. Pro-life legislators, activists and voters chose life for me, and they are my heroes! I owe my birth to the law being there to protect me. I was lucky -- I was protected. Legality matters.
In the mid-1960's, there were efforts to legalize abortion in cases of rape all over the country. Norma McCorvey (Jane Roe from Roe v Wade) even lied, claiming she was gang-raped, in order to try to obtain an abortion in Texas. But I'm from Michigan, where there has never been a rape-exception in any laws. This is why I have a birthday to celebrate!
I'm so blessed to have people say many profound things to me as a travel around the world sharing my story. I get to hear things which many people don't get to hear in everyday life -- things like, "I'm so glad you were born!" I'm so very grateful for those words, but I believe that everyone deserves to hear them like I do, so I make a point of it -- whenever someone shares their personal story with me, or whenever I see it's someone's birthday on Facebook, or when someone tells me it's their birthday, I make a point of telling them, "Happy birthday -- I'm so glad you were born!" I'm amazed at how moved they are -- many responding with "Wow, thanx so much! No one has EVER said that to me before."
We need to be saying these words to one another. There are many who are hurting from our abortion culture who have bought the lie that their lives don't really matter. So please, take the time to tell others that you are so glad they were born.
Two years ago, on my birthday, my birthmother called to wish me Happy Birthday and to tell me that
My birthmother and I had a long heart-to-heart. I told her that I had just arrived the night before to visit my in-laws in Massachusetts, but that I would fly home to be with her. At the end of our conversation, we were about to hang up when she stopped me: "Rebecca, Rebecca!" Then her voice broke, "I just want to say, I'm so glad I had you!" That was the best birthday gift ever!
This morning, I wrote this poem to share on Facebook, and I'd like to share it here as well:
Today I was born!
I could have been torn
from my mom's womb,
her body my tomb.
But I have a birth
because others saw my worth.
See, I was protected
instead of dissected.
Today, I can celebrate
instead of having hate
for her rapist and
the abortion man.
So when you say,
"Happy birthday,"
please be aware
of why I am here,
and that others are yet neglected
when they should be protected.
I could have been torn
from my mom's womb,
her body my tomb.
But I have a birth
because others saw my worth.
See, I was protected
instead of dissected.
Today, I can celebrate
instead of having hate
for her rapist and
the abortion man.
So when you say,
"Happy birthday,"
please be aware
of why I am here,
and that others are yet neglected
when they should be protected.
This is the link to where you can share the poem on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/102194079817633/photos/a.164949103542130.26757.102194079817633/887640131273020/?type=1&theater
Wednesday, May 13, 2015
Pregnant by Rape, I Heard God Tell Me Her Blood Was Innocent by Crystal Blount
I am a birthmother
from rape. I know what many people think about abortion in cases of rape, and I'm
sharing my story to give an alternate point of view to consider.
At 17, I graduated high
school also. I went on to spend two years
at my dream school, Berklee College of Music in Boston, studying music business
and voice. I eventually moved to
California, and completed my Bachelor's degree while working full time in the
entertainment Industry. Currently, I
have worked for a major entertainment company for nearly five years, got my
degree in Marketing, and got married in 2011. I earn an upper middle income, go
to church, and have been recently been working on losing some weight (I've lost
30 lbs. so far) and writing my second book. Yes, I published my first book in
2011! (Prayers & Pillow Talk: A Rape Survivors Journey to Self-Worth.) I’m
currently featured in a billboard campaign in California through Tulare-Kings Right to Life, with Save The 1 speakers in each ad, so good things are
happening and I definitely feel blessed and a sense of purpose!
I know that is a
crazy idea to most, because I had a huge burden to carry because of what he
did, I endured a lot of grief, and I gave up my only child for adoption after
carrying her for nine months. It was
surely hard. I almost didn't make it and
wanted to hurt myself many times because I felt ashamed. For many years, I hated him, blamed him, felt
the world owed me one, and I was mad at God. The world told me I was weak,
crazy, dirty, and that my daughter didn't deserve to live. But, now that I have peace with this journey
of mine, it gave me an incredible testimony which I am blessed to see impacts
people every day. I hope my story is an
encouragement to you.
I can understand how
this issue might tug on your heart, and how it may seem really hard to consider
it realistic to expect a woman to carry a pregnancy to term in the case of rape
-- that it seems impossible to fathom. I
used to think I was the only one in the world it happened to. I’m not alone though, and now I have many
friends who’ve been through the same thing and we’ve all come out stronger.
I was that young girl. As a 14 yr old freshman, virgin, church-going,
smart, young girl, I was raped on my high school campus by an upper class guy I
barely knew. I met him in an upper level
math class and he convinced me to join him in the music department one day,
took me into a dark room, and raped me.
I told no one for almost three months until I could no longer deny I was
pregnant. I was my daddy's little girl
and I was devastated I’d lost my virginity which I’d hoped to save for
marriage. I couldn't bear the thought of disappointing my dad.
Long story short, I
had two abortion appointments -- one to cover up so I didn't have to tell my
Daddy, and the second of which my Dad insisted upon because he felt ashamed of
his failure to protect me, and the family name. I felt ashamed and very sad for
disappointing him and afraid to destroy my family.
Here's where it gets
good: on the way to the second
appointment, I heard God tell me that her blood was innocent, and to take his
hand. I asked my Dad to stop the car and
said I didn't know what I would do (keep the baby or adoption), but that I
would accept the task of carrying the child until she was born -- to choose
LIFE for her. I felt overcome with a
duty to protect this helpless life growing inside me. I had seen her heartbeat. I knew instantly in that car, that it wasn't
her fault, no matter who fathered her; even if he had just been a deadbeat dad.
I knew then it was my duty and God would
somehow give me the strength to bring her into the world.
I did just that, and
with the help of counselors, I chose open adoption for my daughter. I picked her parents -- a couple married many
years who tried for seven years to have a family. She's an honors student now, and graduating
high school in three weeks -- one entire year early at the age of 16. She has been accepted to four colleges, and
wants to become an ER trauma surgeon one day.
At 17, I graduated high
school also. I went on to spend two years
at my dream school, Berklee College of Music in Boston, studying music business
and voice. I eventually moved to
California, and completed my Bachelor's degree while working full time in the
entertainment Industry. Currently, I
have worked for a major entertainment company for nearly five years, got my
degree in Marketing, and got married in 2011. I earn an upper middle income, go
to church, and have been recently been working on losing some weight (I've lost
30 lbs. so far) and writing my second book. Yes, I published my first book in
2011! (Prayers & Pillow Talk: A Rape Survivors Journey to Self-Worth.) I’m
currently featured in a billboard campaign in California through Tulare-Kings Right to Life, with Save The 1 speakers in each ad, so good things are
happening and I definitely feel blessed and a sense of purpose!
My immediately family
is great and we became stronger after that trial. In fact, my parents have now
been married 32 years, despite that really trying time for our family. My
dad has since apologized to me, and said he is so very grateful I chose to
trust God instead of trying to please him, because he loves his grand-daughter
so much!
My daughter knows she
is a gift from God. I tell her every chance she gets. She looks just like ME,
and when I see her smile, I see how good God is and how he took this bad
experience and made it beautiful!
Although she doesn't
know her biological father, and probably won’t ever know him, she has an
adoptive Dad who loves her dearly and would die for her, a biological Grandpa
(my dad) who is now crazy about her and so proud (he finally overcame his shame
and we are stronger than ever too), and many uncles, aunts, and cousins on my side,
and her adoptive side, who get to see just how wonderful and amazing God is and
how He is able to do some really incredible and miraculous things when we give
our problems to Him. She is a really happy teen who is discovering herself
more everyday – she loves dance, photography, and singing.
How did I heal? Mainly, it’s been knowing that my situation
was used by God. Sharing my story to help others helps me heal too, because
shame can’t live when we refuse to be silent.
Over time, and with the help of my counselors, family, and support of
friends, I was able to overcome a lot of struggles. With the help of counselors
and prayer, I was able to forgive the man who raped me. Why? Because, after all, he is human too. Someone probably hurt him once if he thinks
that behavior was okay.
So, when people ask
why I'm pro-life, it's mainly for two reasons. First of all, because I feel a passion to
stand up for those tiny beating hearts who God felt we'd protect, provide for
and be strong enough to bring them into this world because every life matters.
Secondly, I’m pro-life for the women and girls who are so often left alone,
abandoned, dirty, and feeling like they just can't do it. They have been told
throughout life in our society that rape makes them dirty, and that pregnancy
is unthinkable. But the sins of the
father, aren't the sins of the child -- not any more than my sins belong to
you, or vice versa. If rapists aren't even given the death penalty (it's been
deemed too harsh), why should unborn human babies be sentenced to death for the
rapists’ crimes?
We each have our own
lives to live -- each of us who have been given the chance at life that is. I
want all unborn babies to have a chance at life, no matter what any of us has
done -- no matter what mistakes I made, or whatever mistakes the man who raped
me made.
I want us all to have
our own shot at being love, life, and an inspiration to this world. I want us
to be willing to protect each other, and to be there for the girls who have
been taken advantage of -- not make them feel dirty, ashamed, and then have to
have their own flesh and blood literally sucked from them.
It's my goal now to
tell every girl she is precious, to tell every woman she is strong enough to
make it through anything, and that there are people who want to help her get
through it, despite what society says. I
want to tell them to choose life because there are people who will love that
baby to the ends of the earth if she feels she can't be an adequate parent. And that is totally okay. I was so blessed,
and my daughter is amazing! God loves
when we bring our messes to him so He can turn them into a Message.
I hope if you run
into a girl or woman one day who might be struggling with the decision to
choose life for her baby (regardless of the circumstances), that you will think
of me, and encourage her that she can and will succeed at anything. Let her know that she isn't alone, that there
are people who make it their mission to help, that she IS strong enough to
handle anything in life which comes her way, and that she can do it in a way
which gives life and is beautiful. Even
if getting pregnant wasn't her fault, and especially if it wasn't her fault,
she shouldn't be punished by having to go through another trauma, and her baby
isn't guilty either.
BIO: Crystal Blount is a pro-life speaker and
blogger for Save The 1. Her own website is www.CrystalBlount.com.
Wednesday, March 18, 2015
10 Things I Need to Tell You Before You Choose by Elizabeth Reed
To my best friend,
We’ve been friends for years -- through breakups, through laughter, through tears, through margarita Tuesdays and hangover Wednesdays. We’ve laughed so hard at inside jokes that we’ve both been laying on the kitchen floor and getting weird looks from the rest of our friends.
About a week ago, I took you to lunch. I brought two pregnancy tests with me because you were "late." Despite the severity of the situation, we were standing in the bathroom -- of a Chic Fil A, no less -- the irony of this does not escape me! We were laughing to each other, joking about something from work, waiting for the results to appear. I reached for the tests, flipped them over to read the results, and saw the glaring plus sign. I looked up to meet your eyes, and saw your fear. The words “you’re pregnant” fell out of my mouth, and I saw their impact as they hit you right in the gut. I almost wanted to throw my body in front of the words, as if they were a bullet, and absorb their impact for you.
That was about a week ago. For the past week, I am the only one who has known your secret. I’m the only one you’ve talked to about it. I’ve held you while you wept. I’ve gone with you to a doctor to confirm that you are, in fact, pregnant. We have discussed all of your options thoroughly. I know all of your fears intimately, and I know exactly what you have ahead of you.
It seems that you’ve made up your mind to "terminate" your pregnancy. When you told me of your decision, I remained solid, wanting to be supportive and loving. I wanted you to feel unjudged. You told me you thought an abortion would be the best choice for you. I hugged you and told you that everything would be fine, and that we would get through this together.
But I want to tell you some things -- things that are bursting within me, things that I NEED to tell you before you go through with having an abortion, things that you need to know before you make this decision, things which I don’t need to say just because I am pro-life, but because I am your best friend, and I can’t let you make this decision without you knowing these things. So, before you go this Saturday to have your abortion, please know:
1.) You are strong.
I know that you have rebuilt your entire life more than once from total ruin. You have walked through fire and have come out stronger and better than before. I envy your courage and your stamina. I envy that you can laugh through things that you struggle with. Your smile is beautiful because of the things you have been through. Your eyes shine with courage and experience beyond your years. You are one of the strongest women I know, and I know, without a doubt, that you ARE strong enough to go through an unplanned pregnancy. The most anti-feminist thing I’ve ever heard is that a woman is not strong enough to go through a pregnancy which she didn't plan.
2.) I will be here for you.
No matter what it takes, I will support you, I will hold your hair when morning sickness comes; I will help you find pickles and ice cream at 4 am; I will help you consider whether you’d like to parent or place your child for adoption; I will throw you a baby shower; I will help you plan for the baby; I will help you pick out names; I will help you pick maternity clothes that don’t make you feel fat; I will make virgin margaritas and bring them over every Tuesday; I will show you pregnant tricks like tying a hair tie around the button of your too-small jeans so that you can still wear them because you’re not ready for maternity pants yet; I will hold you when pregnancy hormones make you weepy, laugh with you when they make you goofy, and share in your irrational outrage when the hormones make you a little loopy; I will help you choose a doctor you like; I will listen to your fears and celebrate your successes. “Where you go I will go, and where you stay I will stay. Your people will be my people and your God my God.” Ruth 1:16 I will not leave your side through this entire process, nor will I leave after. My friendship and love for you are here to stay.
3.) You don’t have to choose yet.
I know you feel that you’re not ready for the responsibility of a baby, and I understand your fears. Let’s just take this one day at a time. Once you decide that abortion is not for you, you have plenty of time to decide if adoption or parenting is the best choice. You don’t have to make this decision yet. But when you are ready for it, I will be here to help you process whether to parent or to place for adoption, like I did with my first child. And I will help you reach out to an adoption agency and choose a family; or I will help you prepare a nursery and stockpile diapers and take Lamaze classes. The best way to handle a crisis pregnancy is to remove the crisis, not the child. I know you feel a sense of urgency to make a decision, but stop for a moment, take a deep breath, and let’s just move one step at a time.
4.) You are important.
I hear often from our pro-choice counterparts that pro-lifers only care about the baby, and that we don’t care about the mother at all. That couldn’t be further from the truth. You matter. You are important. God has plans for YOU. He has had you in the palm of His hand from before your birth. He knew every breath you would take before you took your first. He is jealous for you. He loves you more than any love you’ve ever known. He is not like men you have known. He cannot disappoint you or lie to you. He IS who He says He is, and He does what He says He will do. He died a horrific death on the cross so that you could spend eternity with Him. Life has not been a walk in the park for you to this point, I know that well. But I know that life doesn’t have to be that way. Life doesn’t have to be about hate and anger. It doesn’t have to be about bitterness or revenge. It can be about love. It can be about new beginnings. It can be about freedom. There is freedom at the foot of the cross, hope resides at the opening of the empty grave. There is grace. Do not ever believe you don’t matter. There is nothing you could possibly do, no sin big enough, to separate you from the great love God has for you. He knit you together in your mother’s womb, He has called you by name and you are one of His children! How precious you are to Him is beyond measure. “…but God shows His great love for us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us.” Romans 5:8
5.) Your baby already has a heartbeat.
Before you even knew you were pregnant, the baby growing in your womb had a heartbeat -- heartbeat which will probably be the most beautiful thing you’ve ever heard should you have an ultrasound. Your baby also has measurable brainwaves, little arms and legs, little fingers, and even eyes and eyelids. Not only does your baby have a heartbeat, but he or she has a purpose. You may not have planned this baby, but God did. And He has enormous plans for him or her. The same love I just told you that God has for you, God has for the child growing in your womb. He is knitting this child, YOUR child, together with His hands. Do you know how painstakingly dull it is to knit?? How detail-oriented and love-filled that task is? He lovingly and patiently takes the time to build our frame in the secret place and breathes His breath of life into our nostrils. Life is such a gift! You may not see it now, but you are blessed among women to be given the gift of life stirring in your womb. I cannot put into words the wonder and joy that will fill you when you feel the first flutters of life in your abdomen or the awe that will overcome you when you look upon the face of your baby for the first time. “For I know the plans I have for you” declares the Lord, “Plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” Jeremiah 29:11
6.) Abortion isn’t safe.
Please remember that this is by law your choice and that, no matter what, I will love you, support you, and be your friend; but also remember that abortion is not safe. Women who have had surgical abortions have died, been rendered infertile, have had perforated uteruses, and suffered serious and debilitating depressions afterwards. Women who have had medication abortions have suffered serious side effects as well. As many as 491 women have died since the "abortion pill" became an option -- probably more still that have been unreported. But hardly anyone talks about it. It’s not on the news, it’s not bragged about so that women like you and I can easily find it. The abortion industry doesn’t care about you as a person in the least. They claim to be champions for women and I’m calling "B.S.!" They want your money and your silence. I have talked to many women who regret their abortions, but I have never once spoken to a woman who says she regrets choosing life for her child.
7.) Adoption is loving and selfless.
Some of the arguments against adoption I’ve heard are absolutely preposterous, such as: “You made your bed, now you should lay in it" -- as if a child is a punishment for sex. Children are not punishments. You are not being punished for a careless mistake. God is not a mean bully with a magnifying glass, sitting atop an ant hill. This child is beauty from the ashes of the way your life has been up until now. There are 1.5 million couples in American waiting, right now, to adopt a child. Now, I am not pushing adoption on you in any way, shape, or form, but please do not discount it and think that you *have* to choose to parent if you choose life for your baby. If you don’t believe you are ready for a child, and feel strongly that someone else could provide a better life for your child, then please consider adoption. It is such a selfless, loving choice which you won't regret. And if anyone ever tries to tell you otherwise, I will show them to the door and present them with a pretty gift bag which will consist of strong words and a complimentary black eye!
8.) This is not the end of your life.
I know, from experience, that this is scary. I know just from seeing your face when I told you what the tests said that you are terrified to your very toes. You carry the knowledge of your pregnancy like a heavy burden and you cannot stand up straight under the enormous weight of it. You’ve probably prayed a few times for a miscarriage. And you’ve probably felt guilty for praying such a terrible thing. Darling, you are not alone. I was in a crisis pregnancy once, and I’ll tell you a secret: I prayed the same thing. You are not alone. This is scary, it is overwhelming. But, this will not break you. This is not going to last forever. This is not the end of your life. Look at all that you have overcome. Look at the frightening hurdles you have jumped over with ease. Looking ahead at them, you were terrified and thought maybe you wouldn’t make it, but looking back you see it wasn’t as hard as you imagined, and you overcame. This is will be the same. No matter what you choose, you will look back on this unplanned pregnancy as something you handled, overcame, and that has refined you into the woman you will become. Do not throw in the towel. Do not give up. You can do this.
9.) You are not alone.
One of your biggest fears is going through this pregnancy, and raising this child, alone and without any financial/emotional help at all. That is one of every woman’s biggest fears, unplanned pregnancy or not. But you will not be alone. There are government programs to help you with the costs associated with giving birth and prenatal care. There are programs, churches, pregnancy resource centers, women’s groups, etc. which all are made for women in your situation. I have tons of pro-life friends who have children, and would love to give you their gently-used items. They want to help you. They want to support you during your pregnancy, and after the child is born. During your pregnancy, they provide free or very affordable maternity clothing, free classes on maternity and parenting. Should you choose to parent, they will help you get all of the items that you need for rock bottom prices or even for free in some cases; and should you choose to place your child for adoption, they will help you through this process and offer emotional support groups and free counseling to help you sort through your emotions afterwards. Not only are all of these programs and people there to help you, but I am here to help you find them and navigate through them. This process doesn’t need to seem so looming and scary.
10.) Your baby needs you.
God is into details. Nothing He does is by accident or coincidence. He gave you this baby for a reason. We can’t see that reason on this side yet, but we will. Your baby has only one line of defense from the world, and it’s you. You alone are the defender, protector, nurturer, and home of this baby. Whether you choose to parent or place this child for adoption, your baby is counting on you. Your childhood was not easy, as your friend I know this secret of yours. But now is your chance. Now is your time to break the cycle. You have a choice to give your child things you never had. You have a choice, right this very minute, to choose to love, to choose to live in victory, to break the chains of generational sin, and to become instead of just be. You ARE strong and courageous. You are called to a purpose. You are not called to have a spirit of fear. Your baby is at the most defenseless and vulnerable point possible right now. You are the only thing standing between your baby and a violent death. I beg you, with everything within me, please reconsider. I cannot make this choice for you, it is yours alone to make. While I can't support a decision to abort, I will love you and support YOU no matter what you decide, no if’s, and’s, or but’s about it. I have been in your shoes more than once, and at no point will I ever judge you for anything you feel because I have felt the same things. I am confident that you can choose life. I am confident that you are strong enough to handle the road ahead. And I am confident that God will reveal a great purpose in this trial if you put your faith and trust in Him and choose life. In Philippians 1:6, the Word tells us that ‘He who began a good work in you will see it through to completion’. Your baby, and this pregnancy, are a good work. And God will help you navigate this road. You can trust Him. You can trust me. You can choose life. You can choose Love.
Your friend who loves you and your baby.
By Elizabeth Reed, Executive Director of Georgia Businesses for Life. and pro-life speaker and blogger for Save The 1, sharing her story of being a birthmother out of rape.
We’ve been friends for years -- through breakups, through laughter, through tears, through margarita Tuesdays and hangover Wednesdays. We’ve laughed so hard at inside jokes that we’ve both been laying on the kitchen floor and getting weird looks from the rest of our friends.
About a week ago, I took you to lunch. I brought two pregnancy tests with me because you were "late." Despite the severity of the situation, we were standing in the bathroom -- of a Chic Fil A, no less -- the irony of this does not escape me! We were laughing to each other, joking about something from work, waiting for the results to appear. I reached for the tests, flipped them over to read the results, and saw the glaring plus sign. I looked up to meet your eyes, and saw your fear. The words “you’re pregnant” fell out of my mouth, and I saw their impact as they hit you right in the gut. I almost wanted to throw my body in front of the words, as if they were a bullet, and absorb their impact for you.
That was about a week ago. For the past week, I am the only one who has known your secret. I’m the only one you’ve talked to about it. I’ve held you while you wept. I’ve gone with you to a doctor to confirm that you are, in fact, pregnant. We have discussed all of your options thoroughly. I know all of your fears intimately, and I know exactly what you have ahead of you.
It seems that you’ve made up your mind to "terminate" your pregnancy. When you told me of your decision, I remained solid, wanting to be supportive and loving. I wanted you to feel unjudged. You told me you thought an abortion would be the best choice for you. I hugged you and told you that everything would be fine, and that we would get through this together.
But I want to tell you some things -- things that are bursting within me, things that I NEED to tell you before you go through with having an abortion, things that you need to know before you make this decision, things which I don’t need to say just because I am pro-life, but because I am your best friend, and I can’t let you make this decision without you knowing these things. So, before you go this Saturday to have your abortion, please know:
1.) You are strong.
I know that you have rebuilt your entire life more than once from total ruin. You have walked through fire and have come out stronger and better than before. I envy your courage and your stamina. I envy that you can laugh through things that you struggle with. Your smile is beautiful because of the things you have been through. Your eyes shine with courage and experience beyond your years. You are one of the strongest women I know, and I know, without a doubt, that you ARE strong enough to go through an unplanned pregnancy. The most anti-feminist thing I’ve ever heard is that a woman is not strong enough to go through a pregnancy which she didn't plan.
2.) I will be here for you.
No matter what it takes, I will support you, I will hold your hair when morning sickness comes; I will help you find pickles and ice cream at 4 am; I will help you consider whether you’d like to parent or place your child for adoption; I will throw you a baby shower; I will help you plan for the baby; I will help you pick out names; I will help you pick maternity clothes that don’t make you feel fat; I will make virgin margaritas and bring them over every Tuesday; I will show you pregnant tricks like tying a hair tie around the button of your too-small jeans so that you can still wear them because you’re not ready for maternity pants yet; I will hold you when pregnancy hormones make you weepy, laugh with you when they make you goofy, and share in your irrational outrage when the hormones make you a little loopy; I will help you choose a doctor you like; I will listen to your fears and celebrate your successes. “Where you go I will go, and where you stay I will stay. Your people will be my people and your God my God.” Ruth 1:16 I will not leave your side through this entire process, nor will I leave after. My friendship and love for you are here to stay.
3.) You don’t have to choose yet.
I know you feel that you’re not ready for the responsibility of a baby, and I understand your fears. Let’s just take this one day at a time. Once you decide that abortion is not for you, you have plenty of time to decide if adoption or parenting is the best choice. You don’t have to make this decision yet. But when you are ready for it, I will be here to help you process whether to parent or to place for adoption, like I did with my first child. And I will help you reach out to an adoption agency and choose a family; or I will help you prepare a nursery and stockpile diapers and take Lamaze classes. The best way to handle a crisis pregnancy is to remove the crisis, not the child. I know you feel a sense of urgency to make a decision, but stop for a moment, take a deep breath, and let’s just move one step at a time.
4.) You are important.
I hear often from our pro-choice counterparts that pro-lifers only care about the baby, and that we don’t care about the mother at all. That couldn’t be further from the truth. You matter. You are important. God has plans for YOU. He has had you in the palm of His hand from before your birth. He knew every breath you would take before you took your first. He is jealous for you. He loves you more than any love you’ve ever known. He is not like men you have known. He cannot disappoint you or lie to you. He IS who He says He is, and He does what He says He will do. He died a horrific death on the cross so that you could spend eternity with Him. Life has not been a walk in the park for you to this point, I know that well. But I know that life doesn’t have to be that way. Life doesn’t have to be about hate and anger. It doesn’t have to be about bitterness or revenge. It can be about love. It can be about new beginnings. It can be about freedom. There is freedom at the foot of the cross, hope resides at the opening of the empty grave. There is grace. Do not ever believe you don’t matter. There is nothing you could possibly do, no sin big enough, to separate you from the great love God has for you. He knit you together in your mother’s womb, He has called you by name and you are one of His children! How precious you are to Him is beyond measure. “…but God shows His great love for us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us.” Romans 5:8
5.) Your baby already has a heartbeat.
Before you even knew you were pregnant, the baby growing in your womb had a heartbeat -- heartbeat which will probably be the most beautiful thing you’ve ever heard should you have an ultrasound. Your baby also has measurable brainwaves, little arms and legs, little fingers, and even eyes and eyelids. Not only does your baby have a heartbeat, but he or she has a purpose. You may not have planned this baby, but God did. And He has enormous plans for him or her. The same love I just told you that God has for you, God has for the child growing in your womb. He is knitting this child, YOUR child, together with His hands. Do you know how painstakingly dull it is to knit?? How detail-oriented and love-filled that task is? He lovingly and patiently takes the time to build our frame in the secret place and breathes His breath of life into our nostrils. Life is such a gift! You may not see it now, but you are blessed among women to be given the gift of life stirring in your womb. I cannot put into words the wonder and joy that will fill you when you feel the first flutters of life in your abdomen or the awe that will overcome you when you look upon the face of your baby for the first time. “For I know the plans I have for you” declares the Lord, “Plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” Jeremiah 29:11
6.) Abortion isn’t safe.
Please remember that this is by law your choice and that, no matter what, I will love you, support you, and be your friend; but also remember that abortion is not safe. Women who have had surgical abortions have died, been rendered infertile, have had perforated uteruses, and suffered serious and debilitating depressions afterwards. Women who have had medication abortions have suffered serious side effects as well. As many as 491 women have died since the "abortion pill" became an option -- probably more still that have been unreported. But hardly anyone talks about it. It’s not on the news, it’s not bragged about so that women like you and I can easily find it. The abortion industry doesn’t care about you as a person in the least. They claim to be champions for women and I’m calling "B.S.!" They want your money and your silence. I have talked to many women who regret their abortions, but I have never once spoken to a woman who says she regrets choosing life for her child.
7.) Adoption is loving and selfless.
Some of the arguments against adoption I’ve heard are absolutely preposterous, such as: “You made your bed, now you should lay in it" -- as if a child is a punishment for sex. Children are not punishments. You are not being punished for a careless mistake. God is not a mean bully with a magnifying glass, sitting atop an ant hill. This child is beauty from the ashes of the way your life has been up until now. There are 1.5 million couples in American waiting, right now, to adopt a child. Now, I am not pushing adoption on you in any way, shape, or form, but please do not discount it and think that you *have* to choose to parent if you choose life for your baby. If you don’t believe you are ready for a child, and feel strongly that someone else could provide a better life for your child, then please consider adoption. It is such a selfless, loving choice which you won't regret. And if anyone ever tries to tell you otherwise, I will show them to the door and present them with a pretty gift bag which will consist of strong words and a complimentary black eye!
8.) This is not the end of your life.
I know, from experience, that this is scary. I know just from seeing your face when I told you what the tests said that you are terrified to your very toes. You carry the knowledge of your pregnancy like a heavy burden and you cannot stand up straight under the enormous weight of it. You’ve probably prayed a few times for a miscarriage. And you’ve probably felt guilty for praying such a terrible thing. Darling, you are not alone. I was in a crisis pregnancy once, and I’ll tell you a secret: I prayed the same thing. You are not alone. This is scary, it is overwhelming. But, this will not break you. This is not going to last forever. This is not the end of your life. Look at all that you have overcome. Look at the frightening hurdles you have jumped over with ease. Looking ahead at them, you were terrified and thought maybe you wouldn’t make it, but looking back you see it wasn’t as hard as you imagined, and you overcame. This is will be the same. No matter what you choose, you will look back on this unplanned pregnancy as something you handled, overcame, and that has refined you into the woman you will become. Do not throw in the towel. Do not give up. You can do this.
9.) You are not alone.
One of your biggest fears is going through this pregnancy, and raising this child, alone and without any financial/emotional help at all. That is one of every woman’s biggest fears, unplanned pregnancy or not. But you will not be alone. There are government programs to help you with the costs associated with giving birth and prenatal care. There are programs, churches, pregnancy resource centers, women’s groups, etc. which all are made for women in your situation. I have tons of pro-life friends who have children, and would love to give you their gently-used items. They want to help you. They want to support you during your pregnancy, and after the child is born. During your pregnancy, they provide free or very affordable maternity clothing, free classes on maternity and parenting. Should you choose to parent, they will help you get all of the items that you need for rock bottom prices or even for free in some cases; and should you choose to place your child for adoption, they will help you through this process and offer emotional support groups and free counseling to help you sort through your emotions afterwards. Not only are all of these programs and people there to help you, but I am here to help you find them and navigate through them. This process doesn’t need to seem so looming and scary.
10.) Your baby needs you.
God is into details. Nothing He does is by accident or coincidence. He gave you this baby for a reason. We can’t see that reason on this side yet, but we will. Your baby has only one line of defense from the world, and it’s you. You alone are the defender, protector, nurturer, and home of this baby. Whether you choose to parent or place this child for adoption, your baby is counting on you. Your childhood was not easy, as your friend I know this secret of yours. But now is your chance. Now is your time to break the cycle. You have a choice to give your child things you never had. You have a choice, right this very minute, to choose to love, to choose to live in victory, to break the chains of generational sin, and to become instead of just be. You ARE strong and courageous. You are called to a purpose. You are not called to have a spirit of fear. Your baby is at the most defenseless and vulnerable point possible right now. You are the only thing standing between your baby and a violent death. I beg you, with everything within me, please reconsider. I cannot make this choice for you, it is yours alone to make. While I can't support a decision to abort, I will love you and support YOU no matter what you decide, no if’s, and’s, or but’s about it. I have been in your shoes more than once, and at no point will I ever judge you for anything you feel because I have felt the same things. I am confident that you can choose life. I am confident that you are strong enough to handle the road ahead. And I am confident that God will reveal a great purpose in this trial if you put your faith and trust in Him and choose life. In Philippians 1:6, the Word tells us that ‘He who began a good work in you will see it through to completion’. Your baby, and this pregnancy, are a good work. And God will help you navigate this road. You can trust Him. You can trust me. You can choose life. You can choose Love.
Sincerely,“I have set before you life and death, blessing and cursing. Therefore choose LIFE, that both you and your children may live…” Deuteronomy 30:19
Your friend who loves you and your baby.
By Elizabeth Reed, Executive Director of Georgia Businesses for Life. and pro-life speaker and blogger for Save The 1, sharing her story of being a birthmother out of rape.
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