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Showing posts with label abortion clinic. Show all posts
Showing posts with label abortion clinic. Show all posts
Wednesday, January 3, 2018
Doctor Said to Abort or She Would Die, by Kirk Barker
I didn't know I was lost until I was saved and I had no idea that the path I was living could nearly result in another person dying. I am Kirk Barker and I am the founder of Cameron's Chance Pro-life Advocacy. I went from being a non-believer, to a believer, to a follower of Christ Jesus. Because I was a non-believer, I was blind to God's miracles -- most significantly, the miracle when God saved my wife and son 16 years ago.
For a good part of my life, I was a non-believer. Although I'd been raised in church until the age of 12, once my parents divorced, I turned my back on God. I denied God. My parents had stopped taking me to church. I couldn't understand why life was the way it was. One excuse I used was, "If there is a God, why does He let bad things happen to good people?"
Chassidy and I were living together for about three months before she became pregnant around Christmas, 2001. We planned on marrying, but didn't feel rushed to do it anytime soon. God was not at the forefront of our discussions. We may have talked about religion or faith from time to time, but God was not a part of our decision-making or lifestyle. On January, 12th, 2002, when we learned she was pregnant, abortion was not a consideration because we knew abortion was wrong and we knew we would be getting married anyway. We were scared, but definitely happy about it at the same time.
However, Chassidy soon became very sick. She lost 42 pounds in just one month and was hospitalized most of this time. The doctors never gave an official diagnosis, but by mid-February, the doctor told us, "There is nothing more that we can do. If you don't terminate the pregnancy, she will die." At about two months into her pregnancy, we knew that meant the baby would die too. So there was no question of her life versus the child's life.
Both of us were devastated. We were crying, sad, and scared. We had already suffered so much with her health deteriorating, then to be told to abort was even more difficult. This was not a place you would ever want to be in. I didn't want to lose the love of my life and I didn't want to lose my baby.
Unfortunately, we took the doctor's advice -- a decision we made together. We got the procedure all set up. On February 26, 2002, we went to the abortion clinic -- The Women's Center in Nashville, Tennessee. Chassidy had been released from the hospital. The clinic was about a 30-minute drive from our home. We really didn't want to go through with it. We were about to lose our son. I can't even remember the car ride.
We parked our car and as we began walking toward the clinic, we saw pro-life supporters. Chassidy was a little nervous about them because she didn't know if they were going to start yelling at her. But instead, they approached us with friendly smiles, and love and kindness. I remember them pleading with us not to go through with the procedure. We told them we didn't want to abort, but explained our situation. They apologized for our predicament, and prayed for us. I was very appreciative and thankful that they cared for us even though they didn't know us.
We can't thank God enough for the pro-life supporters He put on that sidewalk that day. I know many people call them protesters, but in my opinion, they are not protesting anything. They are there sharing God's message of life -- that every child is a blessing.
Sadly, we proceeded into the clinic anyway. Just before we were about to sign what we call "the death certificate" to our son, God answered those prayers and intervened. My wife looked at me and said, "I don't care if I die. I am not going to kill our baby." I was relieved in that moment, and just had hope that she would somehow get better.
We got up and walked out.
Afterward, we just went about our lives. I was working. She was resting at home. Two weeks later, God healed Chassidy. She stopped throwing up and was better in every respect. She never went back to that doctor who told her to abort. Thankfully, she found a new doctor who she felt took really good care of her and the baby.
The rest of the pregnancy was good once she got feeling better. Our son Cameron was
born full-term on September 16, 2002, perfectly healthy, with no complications. The first words out of Chassidy's mouth were, "Oh gosh, he looks just like Kirk!"
Three weeks later, on October 5th, we were married, but we didn't even marry in a church -- merely through a Justice of the Peace. It was years before we finally gave our lives over to Christ.
Today, we have an awesome 15 year old son. Praise God!
However, that decision to terminate our son, even though we didn't go through with it, weighed very heavily on our hearts for many years. It tore at our hearts. It made our lives very difficult. We were angry at ourselves, angry at the doctor, and angry at the decision we had made. We could barely talk about it.
We went on to have another child. This time, Chassidy lost 30 pounds at the beginning of that pregnancy. But with what we went through with the first pregnancy, we assumed she would be able to fight through it and be okay, and we were right. Our daughter Caitlin was born March 15, 2004.
Life went on. In early 2007, we ended up getting custody of our niece and nephew when they were one and two years old. We were just happy-go-lucky folks, taking things as they came.
Then in April of that year, we lost everything in a house fire. Our son Cameron at age three had climbed up high to get a box of matches, lit a match, dropped it on a chair setting fire to the chair, which rapidly spread. Thank goodness, my wife was able to quickly get all four children out of the house without any of them being harmed. The rental home burned to the ground. The only belongings we had were in the car, which included my son's t-shirt that ironically read, "Future Firefighter." Today, we can laugh about that part of it, but at the time, it was devastating.
Shortly after the house fire, we began attending church, knowing we were missing God in our lives. Initially, it was short-lived. Again we were away from God, just living our lives. But then my wife became disabled with RSD -- reflex sympathetic dystrophy, and I ended up getting custody of my 12 year old daughter from a prior relationship. We knew that all of our children needed more structure and that being in church and growing closer to God would also strengthen our marriage.
In 2012, I was baptized, but I didn't truly become a follower of Christ until God directed me to build a Christian community group for special needs teens. God moved my family and me to a land where we didn't know anyone, to build something nobody heard of. This made my faith in God even stronger. This situation made me understand that God provides for his children -- that everything we have, everything we go through, is by His grace. I now understand that God will open the doors when He sees fit, and that everything is on God's timing, not on our timing. I came to understand that I had been living my life wrong up to this point.
My redefining moment was when I was blessed to have the opportunity to share our abortion testimony at a Catholic Church. I had been in a non-denominational Bible study -- a men's group, when a priest walked in, believing God had told him to be there that day. Somehow, I began to share about our experience. I'd very rarely ever told anyone about this difficult story. The priest then asked me to share it at his parish, and this was life-changing for me, and for our family.
My son Cameron knows his story now and he's of course thankful that we didn't kill him and
he is very pro-life! He's even spoken at events with me.
Because we waited so many years to act, we can't go back and thank that person on the sidewalk. So God put it on our heart to share our story to be a light to others. Through all of this, God healed our hearts.
Last year, we wrote a post on our Facebook page Cameron's Chance Pro-life Advocacy. This post was written to thank the person on the sidewalk and to encourage others:
"We will never know your name. You may not even know that God placed you there to save our son. 14 years ago, you stood on that sidewalk and prayed for us. It was your prayers that helped save our son. Words can never express our gratitude for what you have done. Let the words of this message be a constant reminder of the great work that you do -- to be a reminder that you made a difference. We didn't know who you were, but you cared for us as if we were your own. Thank you from the bottom of our hearts. We are forever grateful. God bless!"
Bio: Kirk Barker is a husband and father of three, Founder of Cameron's Chance Pro-life Advocacy, and pro-life speaker and blogger for Save The 1.
Friday, February 3, 2017
Though Conceived in Adultery, I Am Not an Accident, by Lori Sealy
I’m adopted and several years ago I was privileged to learn
some of my back story from my birthmom.
I came crashing onto the scene under less than stellar
circumstances. My biological mom was a
musician who ended up in an adulterous affair with a married man – a married
man who had 6 children.
They had no plans for her to get pregnant – but she got
pregnant, and they got scared! They felt
the best decision for everyone was to have an abortion. To them, terminating a pregnancy seemed
better than terminating a marriage, and stopping the heart of an unknown,
unborn child seemed better than breaking the hearts of 6 well known, well-loved
children.
Together, they drove to an abortion clinic. They walked in, signed the register, sat down,
and waited . . . and waited . . . and waited.
They waited for almost an hour --
but nothing happened.
You see, a clerical error caused my birthmom’s name to be
skipped, while another’s name was called, and someone else’s life was ended.
That secretary’s mistake is one piece of the amazing
providential puzzle that perfectly came together and helped ensure that I would
eventually continue on to exist outside my mother’s womb. Another piece of that providence is that, as
my birthmom waited, the memory of a children’s Sunday School class from over
two decades earlier made its way to her mind.
It was a lesson on the Ten Commandments – a lesson she “just happened”
to sit in on one Sunday while visiting an out of town aunt who “just happened”
to take her to church -- a thing her family rarely did.
As she sat on a cold metal chair in that dark and dingy
waiting room, the words “thou shalt not
kill” rolled across her conscience like thunder and she became convinced
that what she was about to do was murder.
She turned to my biological dad and told him that as trying and
traumatic as it may be, she couldn’t go through with the abortion but would
find a way to carry me to term.
They walked in that clinic together. She walked out alone.
She spent the next seven months alone – hiding out in a one-room
hunting cabin deep in the woods of Sumter, South Carolina. She isolated herself from everyone in order
to try to avoid the shame of her circumstances, all the while being determined
to give life to the fruit of her circumstances.
That’s what she did, and her selfless sacrifice is why I’m
here.
She did not choose to continue down the path of personal convenience,
but radically reversed her course and set out on the rocky road of conviction –
conviction that the little one in her womb shouldn’t die because of her act of adultery.
When I pause to really ruminate on my story – the
circumstances through which I was conceived; my narrow escape from the abortionist’s
office; the other little boy or girl who
died that day; the marriage that was
rocked and wrecked by my birth; the
siblings who suffered because of their dad’s infidelity; the fear my birthmom faced as she sat contemplating
life and death in that little cabin; and the long-term consequences the
commitment to carry me personally cost her – when I think on these things, it
absolutely blows my mind. And it cost
her a lot -- many of her dreams died, but she willingly buried hers in order to
give life to mine.
Why am I here? . . . .
And should I even be?
I could look at my life and think, “I’m just an accident. I
shouldn’t exist. I’m nothing more than a
mistake.”
In those moments when doubt and guilt may rise up in me over
the dark details
God’s Word tells me that I’m not an accident, but that I am here – regardless of the
circumstances that got me here – because God wanted me here. It tells me
that in spite of the sexual sin of my biological parents, God sovereignly “formed my inward parts and knit me together
in my mother’s womb.” It tells me
that I am “fearfully and wonderfully
made.”
Several years ago, I received a note from my birthmom – the
woman who sacrificed so much for me. She
wrote to tell me of her own confidence that I am not alive by accident, but that
I exist by sovereignly secured appointment.
She wrote assuring me that, in spite of her own suffering, she wouldn’t
change a thing.
She wrote: “Lori, God made you on purpose. You’re not an accident or an afterthought,
you’re not on earth ‘just because,’ nor are you simply some random act of God’s
creativity. You were planned by the Creator of the universe, even if unplanned
by me. You were given God’s 100% stamp of approval from head to toe before you
were born – and the moment you were born He beamed with joy. I did too!”
Friends, I don’t know your story, but what I do know is that
no matter where you find yourself today – facing an unplanned pregnancy; working through the aftershocks of an
abortion; trying to decipher the details
of a birth that flowed out of adultery, or rape, or some other awful scenario –
all life has worth and meaning from womb to tomb.
Just as I am not an accident, neither are you -- nor is the
little life that may be forming inside you.
No matter what your story looks like in this moment, I want you to know
that there is a Redeemer in this moment.
There is a good God and a sufficient Savior who takes bad things and
makes them beautiful; who takes the most horrific messes and makes them
marvelous; who takes the saddest stories and creates the sweetest songs.
He has done that for me and for my birthmom, and my prayer
is that through me sharing my story, you might catch a glimpse of the hope and
help that can be found in Him!
BIO: Lori Sealy resides in North Carolina with her husband and their two
Sunday, March 20, 2016
Your Life Matters, by Carina Kiessling, age 12
Since my mom
is a pro-life speaker, I’ve grown up travelling all over the country and even
around the world, hearing my mom and others speak on abortion and attending
pro-life demonstrations. When I was
younger, I started a club called the “My Life Matters Club,” because I wanted
people to know that their lives matter.
Many abortion supporters don’t care about unborn children’s lives
because they don’t even understand that their own lives matter.
On July 9, 2011, I attended a pro-life demonstration
in Pontiac, Michigan, along with my mom and brother, protesting a fundraiser
for Planned Parenthood who was hoping to open a huge abortion clinic in Auburn
Hills. When we got there, there were
people with signs yelling at each other.
I was only 7 years old, but I knew this was wrong and not the way to
handle things. How were we going to
teach them anything if we are just yelling at each other?
It got so
bad that people separated on opposite sides of the street, with Planned
So I asked my mom, “Can we go over there and just talk to them? I want to tell them that their lives matter.” My mom was surprised that I really wanted to, but said yes, and we walked over.
I was a
little nervous, but I told a group of them that I just wanted to let them know
that I think their lives matter. And of
course, they told me back, “We think your life matters too.” That opened up the opportunity to explain how
my mom and I wouldn’t have been here if Planned Parenthood had their way. We went on to have an excellent conversation
after that, and they were really nice to me because I was just a kid. They even gave me a bottle of water because
it was really hot outside.
I want you
to know that being argumentative isn’t the best, but do speak up for yourselves
because even if you’re a kid, teenager or adult, you can still make a
difference.
http://www.salvarel1.blogspot.com/2016/03/tu-vida-importa.html
BIO: Carina Kiessling, daughter of pro-life speaker
and President of Save The 1 Rebecca Kiessling, is 12 years old, in the 7th
grade and the middle child of 5. She hopes to adopt children when she gets
older.Thursday, July 30, 2015
The Abortion Was Worse Than The Rape, by Tammy
At the age of 16, just a few days
before my 17th birthday, I went on my very first date. I was thrilled. He played football and was
popular. We ate and saw a movie. I still had some time left before my curfew, so
we drove around our rural area for a little while. We went to some of his
family's property and walked around looking at horses. My first date, which
seemed like a total dream, soon turned into a nightmare when he forceably raped
me in a barn.
I'm here to tell you that abortion
is never the answer. It will only cause
an already painful and difficult situation to be even more hurtful. During
my abortion procedure I was terrified. I kept asking questions about what was
about to happen and no one seemed to want to answer me. Looking back, I think
they wanted to hurry up before I had a chance to change my mind. For many years
after, I would have terrible anxiety and even panic attacks at times any time I
heard anything that remotely sounded like a heartbeat. For a long time I didn't
know that's what I was reacting to and it wasn't until many years later when my
husband and I were expecting our first child together that I connected the
anxiety to certain sounds.
I didn't tell anyone initially;
after all, he threatened me immediately after, telling me that I would live to
regret it if I told anyone, that he’d make my life miserable, and that nobody
would believe me. A couple of weeks later, I told a friend. After talking
with a few people, and finding out that he had already been spreading his
version of what happened that night, no one believed me. People who I trusted
and loved and who should have supported me did not. I began to just deny the whole thing and
started trying to block it from my memory.
I didn’t think a lot about the possibility
of being pregnant because I had a distorted view that because it was rape, then
it was somehow less likely I’d become pregnant.
It wasn’t until I started having symptoms that I began to realize I
might be pregnant. I drove to a
different town by myself to buy a pregnancy test kit, doing the test in the gas
station bathroom so no one in my hometown would ever know. Before I took the test, I had kind of already
thought ahead of what I would do if it came back positive, and so, I had the
name of a pregnancy center with their phone number because I thought they were
an abortion clinic. I felt extremely
scared and angry there all alone in the gas station restroom. I was angry at God, asking “How could you
allow me to raped?” I was angry at
myself for putting myself in a position to allow this to happen.
From a pay phone, I called the
pregnancy center and they said I could come in right then, which I did. It was about an hour drive for me. I trusted no one at this point and chose not
to tell any friends or family. I felt like this would only confirm what people
were already saying about me "making up the rape." I went to the
crisis pregnancy center because I thought it was an abortion clinic, hoping to
get one that day.
They were so nice to me and told me
everything I already knew about the life inside me. I didn’t feel like I was judged by them at
all. They only had certain days of the week that they did ultrasounds, and I
would have had to return two days later to get one. Crying, I told them I was so scared and
couldn't handle facing people with the pregnancy, and that I was still going to
go to an abortion clinic when I left there.
The counselors told me that even if I did go through with an abortion,
that I was still welcome to come back there and talk to them about it. To this day, 17 years later, I still have a
relationship with one of those counselors.
Scared out of my mind of facing
ridicule, having to address the rumors the rapist was already spreading,
already overwhelmed from my reputation being slandered, I drove to an abortion
clinic that same day. It was the
opposite of the pregnancy center, which was warm and inviting, even though it
still had the feel of a medical office.
But the abortion clinic was cold and sterile. There were others in the waiting room, but no
one would look at each other or acknowledge each other’s presence in any
way. There was no privacy speaking to
the receptionist, telling her why I was there.
She they could see me, but I’d have to make an appointment to come back
to get the procedure done the next day.
I told her I couldn’t skip school another day, so she said they would
take me right away.
There was no waiting and no
questions. All they cared about was that I had the money to pay. They didn't
even care that I was by myself. It was the absolute worst experience of my life
-- even worse than the rape. I kept
telling myself that it was going to be okay, that I was raped, so this was
justified, and I would get through this.
I didn’t believe any of it, so I just kept saying it to myself over and
over again. I told God that it was all
his fault, and I was just so angry in the moment. But I knew that there was a baby inside of
me. I knew that life begins at conception,
but in my 17 year old mind, I just wasn’t making the connection.
The abortion clinic estimated I was
between 14 to 16 weeks pregnant, so they used ultrasound during the
procedure. The screen was turned so I
couldn’t see it. I don’t know if it
malfunctioned, or if the nurse made a mistake,
but I heard my baby’s heartbeat, and that was when the connection
finally happened. I told the doctor that
I wanted him to stop, but he said it was already too far along to stop. I was out of it because they’d given me a
Valium to relax. The nurses helped me to
get cleaned up and to get dressed. They
were rushing me because they needed the space.
I wasn’t ready to move or to go anywhere, but they didn’t care about
hurting me or that I was upset. They
didn’t offer to walk me out to my car, or even ask if anyone was there to drive
me.
I sat in my car in pain and crying
for 2 hours before I could even think about driving home. I really shouldn’t have been driving at all
that day. The problem had been taken
care of according to society, and I should have been relieved and ready to go
on about my life, but relief was the farthest thing from what I felt. I remember having a dialogue myself, like a
good vs. evil talk, first telling myself, “You did what you had to do. Did you really have any other choice? Most people would understand what you just
did.” But then I’d tell myself, “You
know that was a baby. How could you do
that? You’re a horrible person.” I thought, I must not really be a Christian.
For many years, I did anything I
could to numb my pain. I barely remember college because I drank all the time.
I also struggled with an eating disorder and honestly don't know how I
survived, but by the grace of God. I was
attending church this whole time, but part of me just felt dead and I still
really questioned, “How could God love me?
How could He ever forgive me for killing my baby?”
With lots of counseling, I stopped
drinking and I curtailed the eating disorder.
We focused on the rape for a certain period of time and worked through
that, which was helpful, but we hardly ever touched on the abortion. My therapist even told me, “You really did
what you need to do in that situation because you were raped.”
I met a Christian guy through
church, and we abstained from sex until our
wedding night. I felt like I’d have enough garbage in my life and I
wanted to do things right and honor God. But as time went on, I still suffered from
depression and struggled with the eating disorder.
I’d always felt that because of the
experience I had when I went to the pregnancy resource center, I knew that
later in my life, I wanted to be involved in this kind of ministry. We had just had Sanctity of Human Life Sunday
at my church, and I told my pastor that the nearest center was about an hour
away and that there’s a huge need for a center in our area. He felt God had given me a vision, and
encouraged me to start a local center.
So I got people together and we began to plan the opening of a pregnancy
resource center. During that process, I
heard of post-abortion ministry for the very first time by visiting other
centers and learning what services are offered.
I dove into reading about post-abortion syndrome, and I realized that
this was my big issue, and that’s why I’ve suffered so much. It just all clicked.
So a couple of years ago, I went
through a post abortion bible study, finally understanding and accepting God’s
forgiveness and grace. I’ve finally
overcome the eating disorder. I still
get depressed at times, but it’s manageable and no longer dictates my
life. I’ve now started a post-abortion
ministry through our local pregnancy resource center and I’m guiding other
women through the healing process.
I'm here to tell you that abortion
is never the answer. It will only cause
an already painful and difficult situation to be even more hurtful. During
my abortion procedure I was terrified. I kept asking questions about what was
about to happen and no one seemed to want to answer me. Looking back, I think
they wanted to hurry up before I had a chance to change my mind. For many years
after, I would have terrible anxiety and even panic attacks at times any time I
heard anything that remotely sounded like a heartbeat. For a long time I didn't
know that's what I was reacting to and it wasn't until many years later when my
husband and I were expecting our first child together that I connected the
anxiety to certain sounds.
I lived in my own private hell until
I went through the post abortion Bible study and found healing. The pain I felt
all those years literally felt like it would kill me at times. I was very
depressed. There were times I cut myself thinking that it would release some of
the pain I felt on the inside. There were many times I thought about ending my
life and a couple of times I came close to trying. I honestly thought my eating
disorder would eventually kill me and that actually became my intention with
those behaviors. I felt like I deserved to suffer and not live any resemblance
of a happy life because of what I did.
I want people to hear my story. As
hard as it is to tell, it it needs to be told. Something terrible happened to
me on that date that night. Then I was betrayed by the people closest to me.
All of that was extremely painful, but it doesn't come close to comparing to
the pain, the guilt, the shame, the remorse, or the self hatred I heaped and Satan
heaped upon me in the years following the abortion. I thought at the time that
I was justified in what I was doing because I didn't choose to be in that
situation -- I was pregnant by rape. I knew there was life inside me but I thought it wouldn't matter
because of how that life got there. I've never been more wrong about something.
Aborting a baby that's the result of a rape doesn't affect the woman any
differently than under any other circumstance. I've talked with many post-abortive women over the years through working with a local pregnancy center and
what I've learned is that we all share the same pain. It's absolutely no
different. The end result is still the same.
My prayer is that through me telling
my story, more rape victims will speak out about as well, so that we can put a
stop to rape being an excuse for keeping abortion legal. I love and grieve for
that baby's life, just like I would for either of my other children. I think
about every day how old she would be and what she would be like. I don't know
if I would have raised her or placed her for adoption, but it's terribly unfair
that she never got a chance at life. Even though her life was cut short as a result of the abortion, that
didn’t stop her life from having meaning and purpose, and through me telling our
story, I’m ensuring her life was not in vain and that she will be
remembered.
BIO:
Tammy is a wife, mother of 2, post-abortive ministry coordinator,
serving on the board of a pregnancy resource center, and is now a pro-life blogger for
Save The 1.
Wednesday, July 22, 2015
What Planned Parenthood's "Tissue Harvesting" Program Means to Me- The Post Abortive Mother, by Sarah St. Onge
This past week has no doubt been
an emotional week for many American women. Statistically speaking, {supposedly}
one in three of us have ended an "unwanted" pregnancy via abortion.
This means that last Tuesday many of us woke up not to images of a beleaguered, controversial corporation caught in a scandal, but to a reminder of what our very personal, past choices really encompassed.
It wasn’t made any better when social media was, again, plastered with a callous PP worker bargaining for human organs today.
I terminated my second pregnancy, in the second trimester, in 1994. I was moderately pro-choice. I never thought I would have an abortion, but I didn't believe I should be making the choice for anyone else. When I got pregnant a second time at 19 -- already a single mother-- I did what I believed was right for my family. I believed that it was the only decision I could make. There were medical complications with the pregnancy which made it easier to choose abortion.
At least I believed it would be easier at the time.
There were things I saw and heard while in the clinic which still wake me up in a cold sweat. What happened after my surgery made my experience more traumatic than most {if there is such a thing as more traumatic than ending the life of your unborn child}. I found it necessary to return to my physician for further care, because the "procedure" was incomplete and "fetal tissue" had been left behind. I was fortunate to have realized this early because retained "tissue" can cause serious infection which in turn can leave you infertile or even cause death.
Unfortunately, I was only made aware of the retained "tissue" because it was visible on a sanitary napkin following my abortion -- along with surgical gauze which had been left behind in my cervix.
The current events have been a reminder of an experience which was particularly painful. I've watched a number of anti-Planned Parenthood videos throughout the years but none brought such a feeling of revulsion as the ones which are currently circulating. As Dr. Nucatola described manipulating the unborn child for maximum ease in obtaining intact organs I was reminded of the lack of concern for my health, as evidenced by the retained tissue and gauze which I found in the days following my abortion. I was reminded of my own unborn child's humanity, as she spoke so casually of crushing legs and other fully-formed body parts. I was shown the unfeeling nature of an organization which promotes destruction and financial gain under the guise of empowering women during Dr. Gatta’s conversation about the costs of tissue procurement, in which she made the statement, “I want a Lamborghini”.
This past week has brought out a variety of emotion, but primarily I feel sadness and anger.
Sadness because until this week I was never fully comfortable openly mourning the loss of that one, sweet baby.
Who was I to mourn the loss of a child I chose to throw away? It's not about a baby, after all. It's about choice.
As a 19 year old girl I was mistaken in believing their narrative -- the narrative in which my child's life was an impediment to my own growth, nothing more than a choice. I was mistaken to believe their view, that my unborn baby would be a burden.
This mistake turned out to be deadly for my child, as it has been for millions of children conceived in the U.S. for the last 40 years.
And angry--
For too many years, women have believed the lie which Planned Parenthood has told us. They have believed the lie which states that our reproductive health depends solely on them, as if a woman can't find and fund alternatives to PP’s monstrous and murderous infrastructure.
Women have believed the lie which states PP is our only ally in the fight for women's rights --and that those rights are reliant on the destruction of our unborn children.
Women have believed PP when they told us that they wanted us to have better lives.
Women have believed PP when they told us our unborn children were not human.
This week was difficult. I am a mother.
I will now always wonder- was my child's body manipulated for organ harvesting?
Was my child's termination prolonged so that an intact liver, an intact pair of lungs, or an intact heart was made available for research purposes?
Was there a possibility that my child felt extended and unnecessary pain during the procedure because someone was attempting to procure intact tissue?
As stated in the long version of the video-- transcripts available here-- not all babies' lives are ended before the "extraction" procedure begins.
The potential pain which my unborn child suffered is something which I have struggled with for over 20 years. I know this is a primary concern for many {most} post-abortive women. There are many women whose hearts are heavy with new-found grief tonight.
I am sending this message out today not as a pro-life activist, but as a former Planned Parenthood patient.
Planned Parenthood owes me more than a canned response about legality and tone.
My abortion hurt me.
My abortion ended the life of my unborn child.
For once, Planned Parenthood needs to address the thousands of women who have been hurt by their abortions. Planned Parenthood needs to address the women who felt taken advantage of today. They need to address the women who may have consented to tissue donation, not realizing that PP wasn’t talking about “a clump of cells” but intact lungs, muscle, and brains, being removed from babies which may have been delivered using less than compassionate methods.
Planned Parenthood owes every woman who has had a procedure in their clinics more than a canned response.
Preferably before the next set of videos shows up.
I didn’t consent to tissue donation, because I wanted to help fund their executive’s luxury auto.
I consented because I was trying to make some sense out of what I instinctively understood was a senseless decision on my part.
Over the past two decades, I’ve grappled with, and admitted to the dishonesty and selfishness inherent in my choice- it’s time that Planned Parenthood does the same.
{This post was first published on Ms. St. Onge's personal blog on 7/21/15. Reposted with permission}
Sarah St. Onge, mother to Beatrix Elizabeth -- 12/13/10
BIO: Sarah St. Onge is a wife, mother of 4, step-mother of 2, and pro-life blogger for Save The 1. She blogs on grief, loss, and
pro-life issues pertaining to continuing a pregnancy after a lethal
anomaly has been diagnosed, at www.shebringsjoy.com.
This means that last Tuesday many of us woke up not to images of a beleaguered, controversial corporation caught in a scandal, but to a reminder of what our very personal, past choices really encompassed.
It wasn’t made any better when social media was, again, plastered with a callous PP worker bargaining for human organs today.
I terminated my second pregnancy, in the second trimester, in 1994. I was moderately pro-choice. I never thought I would have an abortion, but I didn't believe I should be making the choice for anyone else. When I got pregnant a second time at 19 -- already a single mother-- I did what I believed was right for my family. I believed that it was the only decision I could make. There were medical complications with the pregnancy which made it easier to choose abortion.
At least I believed it would be easier at the time.
There were things I saw and heard while in the clinic which still wake me up in a cold sweat. What happened after my surgery made my experience more traumatic than most {if there is such a thing as more traumatic than ending the life of your unborn child}. I found it necessary to return to my physician for further care, because the "procedure" was incomplete and "fetal tissue" had been left behind. I was fortunate to have realized this early because retained "tissue" can cause serious infection which in turn can leave you infertile or even cause death.
Unfortunately, I was only made aware of the retained "tissue" because it was visible on a sanitary napkin following my abortion -- along with surgical gauze which had been left behind in my cervix.
The current events have been a reminder of an experience which was particularly painful. I've watched a number of anti-Planned Parenthood videos throughout the years but none brought such a feeling of revulsion as the ones which are currently circulating. As Dr. Nucatola described manipulating the unborn child for maximum ease in obtaining intact organs I was reminded of the lack of concern for my health, as evidenced by the retained tissue and gauze which I found in the days following my abortion. I was reminded of my own unborn child's humanity, as she spoke so casually of crushing legs and other fully-formed body parts. I was shown the unfeeling nature of an organization which promotes destruction and financial gain under the guise of empowering women during Dr. Gatta’s conversation about the costs of tissue procurement, in which she made the statement, “I want a Lamborghini”.
This past week has brought out a variety of emotion, but primarily I feel sadness and anger.
Sadness because until this week I was never fully comfortable openly mourning the loss of that one, sweet baby.
Who was I to mourn the loss of a child I chose to throw away? It's not about a baby, after all. It's about choice.
As a 19 year old girl I was mistaken in believing their narrative -- the narrative in which my child's life was an impediment to my own growth, nothing more than a choice. I was mistaken to believe their view, that my unborn baby would be a burden.
This mistake turned out to be deadly for my child, as it has been for millions of children conceived in the U.S. for the last 40 years.
And angry--
For too many years, women have believed the lie which Planned Parenthood has told us. They have believed the lie which states that our reproductive health depends solely on them, as if a woman can't find and fund alternatives to PP’s monstrous and murderous infrastructure.
Women have believed the lie which states PP is our only ally in the fight for women's rights --and that those rights are reliant on the destruction of our unborn children.
Women have believed PP when they told us that they wanted us to have better lives.
Women have believed PP when they told us our unborn children were not human.
This week was difficult. I am a mother.
I will now always wonder- was my child's body manipulated for organ harvesting?
Was my child's termination prolonged so that an intact liver, an intact pair of lungs, or an intact heart was made available for research purposes?
Was there a possibility that my child felt extended and unnecessary pain during the procedure because someone was attempting to procure intact tissue?
As stated in the long version of the video-- transcripts available here-- not all babies' lives are ended before the "extraction" procedure begins.
The potential pain which my unborn child suffered is something which I have struggled with for over 20 years. I know this is a primary concern for many {most} post-abortive women. There are many women whose hearts are heavy with new-found grief tonight.
I am sending this message out today not as a pro-life activist, but as a former Planned Parenthood patient.
Planned Parenthood owes me more than a canned response about legality and tone.
My abortion hurt me.
My abortion ended the life of my unborn child.
For once, Planned Parenthood needs to address the thousands of women who have been hurt by their abortions. Planned Parenthood needs to address the women who felt taken advantage of today. They need to address the women who may have consented to tissue donation, not realizing that PP wasn’t talking about “a clump of cells” but intact lungs, muscle, and brains, being removed from babies which may have been delivered using less than compassionate methods.
Planned Parenthood owes every woman who has had a procedure in their clinics more than a canned response.
Preferably before the next set of videos shows up.
I didn’t consent to tissue donation, because I wanted to help fund their executive’s luxury auto.
I consented because I was trying to make some sense out of what I instinctively understood was a senseless decision on my part.
Over the past two decades, I’ve grappled with, and admitted to the dishonesty and selfishness inherent in my choice- it’s time that Planned Parenthood does the same.
{This post was first published on Ms. St. Onge's personal blog on 7/21/15. Reposted with permission}
Sarah St. Onge, mother to Beatrix Elizabeth -- 12/13/10
BIO: Sarah St. Onge is a wife, mother of 4, step-mother of 2, and pro-life blogger for Save The 1. She blogs on grief, loss, and
pro-life issues pertaining to continuing a pregnancy after a lethal
anomaly has been diagnosed, at www.shebringsjoy.com.Wednesday, March 18, 2015
10 Things I Need to Tell You Before You Choose by Elizabeth Reed
To my best friend,
We’ve been friends for years -- through breakups, through laughter, through tears, through margarita Tuesdays and hangover Wednesdays. We’ve laughed so hard at inside jokes that we’ve both been laying on the kitchen floor and getting weird looks from the rest of our friends.
About a week ago, I took you to lunch. I brought two pregnancy tests with me because you were "late." Despite the severity of the situation, we were standing in the bathroom -- of a Chic Fil A, no less -- the irony of this does not escape me! We were laughing to each other, joking about something from work, waiting for the results to appear. I reached for the tests, flipped them over to read the results, and saw the glaring plus sign. I looked up to meet your eyes, and saw your fear. The words “you’re pregnant” fell out of my mouth, and I saw their impact as they hit you right in the gut. I almost wanted to throw my body in front of the words, as if they were a bullet, and absorb their impact for you.
That was about a week ago. For the past week, I am the only one who has known your secret. I’m the only one you’ve talked to about it. I’ve held you while you wept. I’ve gone with you to a doctor to confirm that you are, in fact, pregnant. We have discussed all of your options thoroughly. I know all of your fears intimately, and I know exactly what you have ahead of you.
It seems that you’ve made up your mind to "terminate" your pregnancy. When you told me of your decision, I remained solid, wanting to be supportive and loving. I wanted you to feel unjudged. You told me you thought an abortion would be the best choice for you. I hugged you and told you that everything would be fine, and that we would get through this together.
But I want to tell you some things -- things that are bursting within me, things that I NEED to tell you before you go through with having an abortion, things that you need to know before you make this decision, things which I don’t need to say just because I am pro-life, but because I am your best friend, and I can’t let you make this decision without you knowing these things. So, before you go this Saturday to have your abortion, please know:
1.) You are strong.
I know that you have rebuilt your entire life more than once from total ruin. You have walked through fire and have come out stronger and better than before. I envy your courage and your stamina. I envy that you can laugh through things that you struggle with. Your smile is beautiful because of the things you have been through. Your eyes shine with courage and experience beyond your years. You are one of the strongest women I know, and I know, without a doubt, that you ARE strong enough to go through an unplanned pregnancy. The most anti-feminist thing I’ve ever heard is that a woman is not strong enough to go through a pregnancy which she didn't plan.
2.) I will be here for you.
No matter what it takes, I will support you, I will hold your hair when morning sickness comes; I will help you find pickles and ice cream at 4 am; I will help you consider whether you’d like to parent or place your child for adoption; I will throw you a baby shower; I will help you plan for the baby; I will help you pick out names; I will help you pick maternity clothes that don’t make you feel fat; I will make virgin margaritas and bring them over every Tuesday; I will show you pregnant tricks like tying a hair tie around the button of your too-small jeans so that you can still wear them because you’re not ready for maternity pants yet; I will hold you when pregnancy hormones make you weepy, laugh with you when they make you goofy, and share in your irrational outrage when the hormones make you a little loopy; I will help you choose a doctor you like; I will listen to your fears and celebrate your successes. “Where you go I will go, and where you stay I will stay. Your people will be my people and your God my God.” Ruth 1:16 I will not leave your side through this entire process, nor will I leave after. My friendship and love for you are here to stay.
3.) You don’t have to choose yet.
I know you feel that you’re not ready for the responsibility of a baby, and I understand your fears. Let’s just take this one day at a time. Once you decide that abortion is not for you, you have plenty of time to decide if adoption or parenting is the best choice. You don’t have to make this decision yet. But when you are ready for it, I will be here to help you process whether to parent or to place for adoption, like I did with my first child. And I will help you reach out to an adoption agency and choose a family; or I will help you prepare a nursery and stockpile diapers and take Lamaze classes. The best way to handle a crisis pregnancy is to remove the crisis, not the child. I know you feel a sense of urgency to make a decision, but stop for a moment, take a deep breath, and let’s just move one step at a time.
4.) You are important.
I hear often from our pro-choice counterparts that pro-lifers only care about the baby, and that we don’t care about the mother at all. That couldn’t be further from the truth. You matter. You are important. God has plans for YOU. He has had you in the palm of His hand from before your birth. He knew every breath you would take before you took your first. He is jealous for you. He loves you more than any love you’ve ever known. He is not like men you have known. He cannot disappoint you or lie to you. He IS who He says He is, and He does what He says He will do. He died a horrific death on the cross so that you could spend eternity with Him. Life has not been a walk in the park for you to this point, I know that well. But I know that life doesn’t have to be that way. Life doesn’t have to be about hate and anger. It doesn’t have to be about bitterness or revenge. It can be about love. It can be about new beginnings. It can be about freedom. There is freedom at the foot of the cross, hope resides at the opening of the empty grave. There is grace. Do not ever believe you don’t matter. There is nothing you could possibly do, no sin big enough, to separate you from the great love God has for you. He knit you together in your mother’s womb, He has called you by name and you are one of His children! How precious you are to Him is beyond measure. “…but God shows His great love for us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us.” Romans 5:8
5.) Your baby already has a heartbeat.
Before you even knew you were pregnant, the baby growing in your womb had a heartbeat -- heartbeat which will probably be the most beautiful thing you’ve ever heard should you have an ultrasound. Your baby also has measurable brainwaves, little arms and legs, little fingers, and even eyes and eyelids. Not only does your baby have a heartbeat, but he or she has a purpose. You may not have planned this baby, but God did. And He has enormous plans for him or her. The same love I just told you that God has for you, God has for the child growing in your womb. He is knitting this child, YOUR child, together with His hands. Do you know how painstakingly dull it is to knit?? How detail-oriented and love-filled that task is? He lovingly and patiently takes the time to build our frame in the secret place and breathes His breath of life into our nostrils. Life is such a gift! You may not see it now, but you are blessed among women to be given the gift of life stirring in your womb. I cannot put into words the wonder and joy that will fill you when you feel the first flutters of life in your abdomen or the awe that will overcome you when you look upon the face of your baby for the first time. “For I know the plans I have for you” declares the Lord, “Plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” Jeremiah 29:11
6.) Abortion isn’t safe.
Please remember that this is by law your choice and that, no matter what, I will love you, support you, and be your friend; but also remember that abortion is not safe. Women who have had surgical abortions have died, been rendered infertile, have had perforated uteruses, and suffered serious and debilitating depressions afterwards. Women who have had medication abortions have suffered serious side effects as well. As many as 491 women have died since the "abortion pill" became an option -- probably more still that have been unreported. But hardly anyone talks about it. It’s not on the news, it’s not bragged about so that women like you and I can easily find it. The abortion industry doesn’t care about you as a person in the least. They claim to be champions for women and I’m calling "B.S.!" They want your money and your silence. I have talked to many women who regret their abortions, but I have never once spoken to a woman who says she regrets choosing life for her child.
7.) Adoption is loving and selfless.
Some of the arguments against adoption I’ve heard are absolutely preposterous, such as: “You made your bed, now you should lay in it" -- as if a child is a punishment for sex. Children are not punishments. You are not being punished for a careless mistake. God is not a mean bully with a magnifying glass, sitting atop an ant hill. This child is beauty from the ashes of the way your life has been up until now. There are 1.5 million couples in American waiting, right now, to adopt a child. Now, I am not pushing adoption on you in any way, shape, or form, but please do not discount it and think that you *have* to choose to parent if you choose life for your baby. If you don’t believe you are ready for a child, and feel strongly that someone else could provide a better life for your child, then please consider adoption. It is such a selfless, loving choice which you won't regret. And if anyone ever tries to tell you otherwise, I will show them to the door and present them with a pretty gift bag which will consist of strong words and a complimentary black eye!
8.) This is not the end of your life.
I know, from experience, that this is scary. I know just from seeing your face when I told you what the tests said that you are terrified to your very toes. You carry the knowledge of your pregnancy like a heavy burden and you cannot stand up straight under the enormous weight of it. You’ve probably prayed a few times for a miscarriage. And you’ve probably felt guilty for praying such a terrible thing. Darling, you are not alone. I was in a crisis pregnancy once, and I’ll tell you a secret: I prayed the same thing. You are not alone. This is scary, it is overwhelming. But, this will not break you. This is not going to last forever. This is not the end of your life. Look at all that you have overcome. Look at the frightening hurdles you have jumped over with ease. Looking ahead at them, you were terrified and thought maybe you wouldn’t make it, but looking back you see it wasn’t as hard as you imagined, and you overcame. This is will be the same. No matter what you choose, you will look back on this unplanned pregnancy as something you handled, overcame, and that has refined you into the woman you will become. Do not throw in the towel. Do not give up. You can do this.
9.) You are not alone.
One of your biggest fears is going through this pregnancy, and raising this child, alone and without any financial/emotional help at all. That is one of every woman’s biggest fears, unplanned pregnancy or not. But you will not be alone. There are government programs to help you with the costs associated with giving birth and prenatal care. There are programs, churches, pregnancy resource centers, women’s groups, etc. which all are made for women in your situation. I have tons of pro-life friends who have children, and would love to give you their gently-used items. They want to help you. They want to support you during your pregnancy, and after the child is born. During your pregnancy, they provide free or very affordable maternity clothing, free classes on maternity and parenting. Should you choose to parent, they will help you get all of the items that you need for rock bottom prices or even for free in some cases; and should you choose to place your child for adoption, they will help you through this process and offer emotional support groups and free counseling to help you sort through your emotions afterwards. Not only are all of these programs and people there to help you, but I am here to help you find them and navigate through them. This process doesn’t need to seem so looming and scary.
10.) Your baby needs you.
God is into details. Nothing He does is by accident or coincidence. He gave you this baby for a reason. We can’t see that reason on this side yet, but we will. Your baby has only one line of defense from the world, and it’s you. You alone are the defender, protector, nurturer, and home of this baby. Whether you choose to parent or place this child for adoption, your baby is counting on you. Your childhood was not easy, as your friend I know this secret of yours. But now is your chance. Now is your time to break the cycle. You have a choice to give your child things you never had. You have a choice, right this very minute, to choose to love, to choose to live in victory, to break the chains of generational sin, and to become instead of just be. You ARE strong and courageous. You are called to a purpose. You are not called to have a spirit of fear. Your baby is at the most defenseless and vulnerable point possible right now. You are the only thing standing between your baby and a violent death. I beg you, with everything within me, please reconsider. I cannot make this choice for you, it is yours alone to make. While I can't support a decision to abort, I will love you and support YOU no matter what you decide, no if’s, and’s, or but’s about it. I have been in your shoes more than once, and at no point will I ever judge you for anything you feel because I have felt the same things. I am confident that you can choose life. I am confident that you are strong enough to handle the road ahead. And I am confident that God will reveal a great purpose in this trial if you put your faith and trust in Him and choose life. In Philippians 1:6, the Word tells us that ‘He who began a good work in you will see it through to completion’. Your baby, and this pregnancy, are a good work. And God will help you navigate this road. You can trust Him. You can trust me. You can choose life. You can choose Love.
Your friend who loves you and your baby.
By Elizabeth Reed, Executive Director of Georgia Businesses for Life. and pro-life speaker and blogger for Save The 1, sharing her story of being a birthmother out of rape.
We’ve been friends for years -- through breakups, through laughter, through tears, through margarita Tuesdays and hangover Wednesdays. We’ve laughed so hard at inside jokes that we’ve both been laying on the kitchen floor and getting weird looks from the rest of our friends.
About a week ago, I took you to lunch. I brought two pregnancy tests with me because you were "late." Despite the severity of the situation, we were standing in the bathroom -- of a Chic Fil A, no less -- the irony of this does not escape me! We were laughing to each other, joking about something from work, waiting for the results to appear. I reached for the tests, flipped them over to read the results, and saw the glaring plus sign. I looked up to meet your eyes, and saw your fear. The words “you’re pregnant” fell out of my mouth, and I saw their impact as they hit you right in the gut. I almost wanted to throw my body in front of the words, as if they were a bullet, and absorb their impact for you.
That was about a week ago. For the past week, I am the only one who has known your secret. I’m the only one you’ve talked to about it. I’ve held you while you wept. I’ve gone with you to a doctor to confirm that you are, in fact, pregnant. We have discussed all of your options thoroughly. I know all of your fears intimately, and I know exactly what you have ahead of you.
It seems that you’ve made up your mind to "terminate" your pregnancy. When you told me of your decision, I remained solid, wanting to be supportive and loving. I wanted you to feel unjudged. You told me you thought an abortion would be the best choice for you. I hugged you and told you that everything would be fine, and that we would get through this together.
But I want to tell you some things -- things that are bursting within me, things that I NEED to tell you before you go through with having an abortion, things that you need to know before you make this decision, things which I don’t need to say just because I am pro-life, but because I am your best friend, and I can’t let you make this decision without you knowing these things. So, before you go this Saturday to have your abortion, please know:
1.) You are strong.
I know that you have rebuilt your entire life more than once from total ruin. You have walked through fire and have come out stronger and better than before. I envy your courage and your stamina. I envy that you can laugh through things that you struggle with. Your smile is beautiful because of the things you have been through. Your eyes shine with courage and experience beyond your years. You are one of the strongest women I know, and I know, without a doubt, that you ARE strong enough to go through an unplanned pregnancy. The most anti-feminist thing I’ve ever heard is that a woman is not strong enough to go through a pregnancy which she didn't plan.
2.) I will be here for you.
No matter what it takes, I will support you, I will hold your hair when morning sickness comes; I will help you find pickles and ice cream at 4 am; I will help you consider whether you’d like to parent or place your child for adoption; I will throw you a baby shower; I will help you plan for the baby; I will help you pick out names; I will help you pick maternity clothes that don’t make you feel fat; I will make virgin margaritas and bring them over every Tuesday; I will show you pregnant tricks like tying a hair tie around the button of your too-small jeans so that you can still wear them because you’re not ready for maternity pants yet; I will hold you when pregnancy hormones make you weepy, laugh with you when they make you goofy, and share in your irrational outrage when the hormones make you a little loopy; I will help you choose a doctor you like; I will listen to your fears and celebrate your successes. “Where you go I will go, and where you stay I will stay. Your people will be my people and your God my God.” Ruth 1:16 I will not leave your side through this entire process, nor will I leave after. My friendship and love for you are here to stay.
3.) You don’t have to choose yet.
I know you feel that you’re not ready for the responsibility of a baby, and I understand your fears. Let’s just take this one day at a time. Once you decide that abortion is not for you, you have plenty of time to decide if adoption or parenting is the best choice. You don’t have to make this decision yet. But when you are ready for it, I will be here to help you process whether to parent or to place for adoption, like I did with my first child. And I will help you reach out to an adoption agency and choose a family; or I will help you prepare a nursery and stockpile diapers and take Lamaze classes. The best way to handle a crisis pregnancy is to remove the crisis, not the child. I know you feel a sense of urgency to make a decision, but stop for a moment, take a deep breath, and let’s just move one step at a time.
4.) You are important.
I hear often from our pro-choice counterparts that pro-lifers only care about the baby, and that we don’t care about the mother at all. That couldn’t be further from the truth. You matter. You are important. God has plans for YOU. He has had you in the palm of His hand from before your birth. He knew every breath you would take before you took your first. He is jealous for you. He loves you more than any love you’ve ever known. He is not like men you have known. He cannot disappoint you or lie to you. He IS who He says He is, and He does what He says He will do. He died a horrific death on the cross so that you could spend eternity with Him. Life has not been a walk in the park for you to this point, I know that well. But I know that life doesn’t have to be that way. Life doesn’t have to be about hate and anger. It doesn’t have to be about bitterness or revenge. It can be about love. It can be about new beginnings. It can be about freedom. There is freedom at the foot of the cross, hope resides at the opening of the empty grave. There is grace. Do not ever believe you don’t matter. There is nothing you could possibly do, no sin big enough, to separate you from the great love God has for you. He knit you together in your mother’s womb, He has called you by name and you are one of His children! How precious you are to Him is beyond measure. “…but God shows His great love for us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us.” Romans 5:8
5.) Your baby already has a heartbeat.
Before you even knew you were pregnant, the baby growing in your womb had a heartbeat -- heartbeat which will probably be the most beautiful thing you’ve ever heard should you have an ultrasound. Your baby also has measurable brainwaves, little arms and legs, little fingers, and even eyes and eyelids. Not only does your baby have a heartbeat, but he or she has a purpose. You may not have planned this baby, but God did. And He has enormous plans for him or her. The same love I just told you that God has for you, God has for the child growing in your womb. He is knitting this child, YOUR child, together with His hands. Do you know how painstakingly dull it is to knit?? How detail-oriented and love-filled that task is? He lovingly and patiently takes the time to build our frame in the secret place and breathes His breath of life into our nostrils. Life is such a gift! You may not see it now, but you are blessed among women to be given the gift of life stirring in your womb. I cannot put into words the wonder and joy that will fill you when you feel the first flutters of life in your abdomen or the awe that will overcome you when you look upon the face of your baby for the first time. “For I know the plans I have for you” declares the Lord, “Plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” Jeremiah 29:11
6.) Abortion isn’t safe.
Please remember that this is by law your choice and that, no matter what, I will love you, support you, and be your friend; but also remember that abortion is not safe. Women who have had surgical abortions have died, been rendered infertile, have had perforated uteruses, and suffered serious and debilitating depressions afterwards. Women who have had medication abortions have suffered serious side effects as well. As many as 491 women have died since the "abortion pill" became an option -- probably more still that have been unreported. But hardly anyone talks about it. It’s not on the news, it’s not bragged about so that women like you and I can easily find it. The abortion industry doesn’t care about you as a person in the least. They claim to be champions for women and I’m calling "B.S.!" They want your money and your silence. I have talked to many women who regret their abortions, but I have never once spoken to a woman who says she regrets choosing life for her child.
7.) Adoption is loving and selfless.
Some of the arguments against adoption I’ve heard are absolutely preposterous, such as: “You made your bed, now you should lay in it" -- as if a child is a punishment for sex. Children are not punishments. You are not being punished for a careless mistake. God is not a mean bully with a magnifying glass, sitting atop an ant hill. This child is beauty from the ashes of the way your life has been up until now. There are 1.5 million couples in American waiting, right now, to adopt a child. Now, I am not pushing adoption on you in any way, shape, or form, but please do not discount it and think that you *have* to choose to parent if you choose life for your baby. If you don’t believe you are ready for a child, and feel strongly that someone else could provide a better life for your child, then please consider adoption. It is such a selfless, loving choice which you won't regret. And if anyone ever tries to tell you otherwise, I will show them to the door and present them with a pretty gift bag which will consist of strong words and a complimentary black eye!
8.) This is not the end of your life.
I know, from experience, that this is scary. I know just from seeing your face when I told you what the tests said that you are terrified to your very toes. You carry the knowledge of your pregnancy like a heavy burden and you cannot stand up straight under the enormous weight of it. You’ve probably prayed a few times for a miscarriage. And you’ve probably felt guilty for praying such a terrible thing. Darling, you are not alone. I was in a crisis pregnancy once, and I’ll tell you a secret: I prayed the same thing. You are not alone. This is scary, it is overwhelming. But, this will not break you. This is not going to last forever. This is not the end of your life. Look at all that you have overcome. Look at the frightening hurdles you have jumped over with ease. Looking ahead at them, you were terrified and thought maybe you wouldn’t make it, but looking back you see it wasn’t as hard as you imagined, and you overcame. This is will be the same. No matter what you choose, you will look back on this unplanned pregnancy as something you handled, overcame, and that has refined you into the woman you will become. Do not throw in the towel. Do not give up. You can do this.
9.) You are not alone.
One of your biggest fears is going through this pregnancy, and raising this child, alone and without any financial/emotional help at all. That is one of every woman’s biggest fears, unplanned pregnancy or not. But you will not be alone. There are government programs to help you with the costs associated with giving birth and prenatal care. There are programs, churches, pregnancy resource centers, women’s groups, etc. which all are made for women in your situation. I have tons of pro-life friends who have children, and would love to give you their gently-used items. They want to help you. They want to support you during your pregnancy, and after the child is born. During your pregnancy, they provide free or very affordable maternity clothing, free classes on maternity and parenting. Should you choose to parent, they will help you get all of the items that you need for rock bottom prices or even for free in some cases; and should you choose to place your child for adoption, they will help you through this process and offer emotional support groups and free counseling to help you sort through your emotions afterwards. Not only are all of these programs and people there to help you, but I am here to help you find them and navigate through them. This process doesn’t need to seem so looming and scary.
10.) Your baby needs you.
God is into details. Nothing He does is by accident or coincidence. He gave you this baby for a reason. We can’t see that reason on this side yet, but we will. Your baby has only one line of defense from the world, and it’s you. You alone are the defender, protector, nurturer, and home of this baby. Whether you choose to parent or place this child for adoption, your baby is counting on you. Your childhood was not easy, as your friend I know this secret of yours. But now is your chance. Now is your time to break the cycle. You have a choice to give your child things you never had. You have a choice, right this very minute, to choose to love, to choose to live in victory, to break the chains of generational sin, and to become instead of just be. You ARE strong and courageous. You are called to a purpose. You are not called to have a spirit of fear. Your baby is at the most defenseless and vulnerable point possible right now. You are the only thing standing between your baby and a violent death. I beg you, with everything within me, please reconsider. I cannot make this choice for you, it is yours alone to make. While I can't support a decision to abort, I will love you and support YOU no matter what you decide, no if’s, and’s, or but’s about it. I have been in your shoes more than once, and at no point will I ever judge you for anything you feel because I have felt the same things. I am confident that you can choose life. I am confident that you are strong enough to handle the road ahead. And I am confident that God will reveal a great purpose in this trial if you put your faith and trust in Him and choose life. In Philippians 1:6, the Word tells us that ‘He who began a good work in you will see it through to completion’. Your baby, and this pregnancy, are a good work. And God will help you navigate this road. You can trust Him. You can trust me. You can choose life. You can choose Love.
Sincerely,“I have set before you life and death, blessing and cursing. Therefore choose LIFE, that both you and your children may live…” Deuteronomy 30:19
Your friend who loves you and your baby.
By Elizabeth Reed, Executive Director of Georgia Businesses for Life. and pro-life speaker and blogger for Save The 1, sharing her story of being a birthmother out of rape.
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