Showing posts with label rape conception. Show all posts
Showing posts with label rape conception. Show all posts
Friday, May 4, 2018

Iowa Heartbeat Bill: The Exceptions Speak for Themselves by Sarah St. Onge

Iowa Heartbeat Bill: The Exceptions Speak for Themselves, by Sarah St. Onge




The Iowa Heartbeat Bill was passed with exceptions for rape and serious fetal anomaly. 

If we can ignore the glaring discrimination, the passage of Iowa’s heartbeat bill was a watershed moment in pro-life advocacy. While the bill still hasn’t been signed into law, it sent a strong message out to the rest of the country: we can pass restrictive pro-life legislation in a state which is not necessarily conservative. It would seem to be a shining achievement for the pro-life movement. 


But with the exceptions, the bill sent another message: A message of exclusion for those conceived in rape or who have been diagnosed with a serious birth defect, and there have been some who’ve spoken out against that message.

 Viewing the very personal video, seeing the visceral reaction the news has provoked in her, leaves the watcher feeling a bit less certain about whether the Iowa bill is as great as it seems. 

We move on to a statement from Rebecca Kiessling who, with tears in her eyes and audible distress in her voice, explains the emotional toll these
Sarah St. Onge with Rebecca Kiessling and Darlene Pawlik
exceptions take on her.

Watch HERE.

As a strong and outspoken representative of those conceived in rape, her words add an element of intimacy to the proceedings which highlight the fact we’re speaking of real people: children conceived during a sexual assault aren’t just a philosophical concept -- they’re our friends, neighbors, and loved ones. They deserve equal protection under the law -- the same protections you or I deserve.

Last, we hear from me, Sarah St. Onge.

Watch HERE.

 My daughter was diagnosed with a lethal birth defect before birth. Exceptionally frustrated with the liberties lawmakers take in excluding children like mine from protection, I want to know why we continue to place these exceptions into laws we are writing. Why not leave the picking and choosing to the pro-choice side? Why ruin our reputation with an inconsistent message regarding the value of an unborn child? 

With the wealth of information available about the life of the unborn, it’s foolish for us to continue on the discriminatory path we are headed down. Rarely, if ever, do these exceptions get removed once they’re in place. We are sentencing valuable, wanted, and fragile innocents to death. There is no excuse for this -- the time for political maneuvering should come when we meet those who oppose us on the floor, and not before we've even put an offer on the table.

We beg you to continue to help us fight for our rights, and the rights of our children, to have equal protection under the law, like all other American citizens. 

 BIO:  Sarah St. Onge is a mother and pro-life blogger for Save The 1.  She blogs on faith, grief, loss, and pro-life issues pertaining to continuing a pregnancy after a lethal anomaly has been diagnosed, at www.shebringsjoy.com.



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Wednesday, March 21, 2018

Decision Reversal after Rape Conception ~by Darlene Pawlik


Life long or life altering decisions should not be made while distressed.

In Case of Rape

We often hear, "What about rape," when discussing abortion. People still succumb to a confused compassion, believing that somehow, killing her baby will help a woman heal from the core violation of sexual assault.

A woman traumatized by rape is often so damaged in her psyche that she doesn't even tell anyone. It is such a deep wound that talking about it can take decades. So, too, many people do not share their abortion experience for many years. They keep it a secret, an unspoken source of pain.

So, how is it that anyone could think the combination of two traumatic and excruciatingly painful events will somehow bring anything good?

Rape Conception

At this time, this is still an experience exclusive to women. Men get raped, but they don't get pregnant. Fathers, husbands, and male friends are super important to this conversation, though. Men were created to be protectors and providers complimenting women in the roles of family, leadership, and society. Both have value and both have a voice in the discussion.

Except are the perpetrators. Forcing a woman and penetrating her, causing her to become pregnant excludes that man from the conversation. His aggression should automatically exclude him from any part of what happens next. "Rapists love abortion," says Rebecca Kiessling, president of Save The 1. They would have the evidence destroyed. The rapist should never have parental rights either. That is a whole other blog post.

No one, other than the rapist, is forcing her to carry a baby. The baby, is an innocent second victim of the hideous crime of rape. Killing her baby by abortion is no different than killing her baby after he or she is born. Rape has changed her life forever, whether or not she conceives.
I know it's legal -that doesn't make it right. Slavery was legal too. Still wrong!
Will it be difficult? Most assuredly. Can she get through it? Absolutely. And she will be victorious. She will have protected the human rights of her baby, one of the smallest and most vulnerable of society.

She needs time to process

Pregnancy changes a woman forever. No matter the outcome. She has been a mom. Most women do not know they are pregnant for around 6 weeks. Since pregnancy is about 40 weeks, she will know about 34 weeks of pregnancy. For perspective, the average woman lives to 72 years in the USA. In reality, the impact isn't how long she's pregnant, but the fact that she has a baby.

Sexual assault survivors can thrive and I know many who have, but it does take some time to process the intense emotional impact of rape. There will also be a difference between one woman to the next, if it was a simple assault of a healthy woman or a complex situation of domestic violence, continued abuses, or trafficking. Each woman needs time to work through the core violation.

How much time is completely indeterminate. She may be in a healthy, sound place one day and go into a tailspin the next. Women shouldn't be expected to make decisions related to abortion or adoption without plenty counseling from neutral parties and of time to consider the implications.

Decision Reversal

Judge Lot Moroka believes as I believe, that a woman who has been raped needs stability and time to make a decision relative to placing her child for adoption. In the case, the decision was reversed because the judge recognized the "emotional rollercoaster" of rape conception.

A living human being was created by a terrible assault, but that living human being had no part in the actual crime. She was a second victim and like many women I know, she was loved at first sight.

A child conceived by rape is still a child, developmentally no different from any other child.

Darlene Pawlik is VP of Save The 1, a speaker and blogger at theDarlingPrincess.com
 She lives in New Hampshire with her husband of nearly 28 years.
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Wednesday, July 22, 2015

What It Means to Have a BIRTHday, by Rebecca Kiessling

Today is my birthday.  I'm not at all ashamed to tell my age because it's very relevant.  I was born July 22, 1969 -- exactly 10 months before the hearing date in Texas in Roe v Wade, and exactly 3-1/2 years to the U.S. Supreme Court decision legalizing abortion throughout the U.S..

I was conceived when my birthmother was abducted at knifepoint by a serial rapist.  She went to two illegal "back-alley" abortions, and I was almost aborted.  That was my life-changing, near-death experience.  When we met when I was 19, even though she was very happy to meet me, my birthmom was pro-choice, and told me she absolutely would have aborted me if it had been legal, and that it should have been her right.  Six years later, she completely changed her mind on the issue, and now, we are BOTH thankful that we were both spared the horror of abortion.

Many people will say to me, "I'm so glad your mother chose life."  But she didn't.  She chose abortion.  Pro-life legislators, activists and voters chose life for me, and they are my heroes!  I owe my birth to the law being there to protect me.  I was lucky -- I was protected.  Legality matters.

In the mid-1960's, there were efforts to legalize abortion in cases of rape all over the country.  Norma McCorvey (Jane Roe from Roe v Wade) even lied, claiming she was gang-raped, in order to try to obtain an abortion in Texas.  But I'm from Michigan, where there has never been a rape-exception in any laws.  This is why I have a birthday to celebrate!

I'm so blessed to have people say many profound things to me as a travel around the world sharing my story.  I get to hear things which many people don't get to hear in everyday life -- things like, "I'm so glad you were born!"  I'm so very grateful for those words, but I believe that everyone deserves to hear them like I do, so I make a point of it -- whenever someone shares their personal story with me, or whenever I see it's someone's birthday on Facebook, or when someone tells me it's their birthday, I make a point of telling them, "Happy birthday -- I'm so glad you were born!"  I'm amazed at how moved they are -- many responding with "Wow, thanx so much!  No one has EVER said that to me before." 

We need to be saying these words to one another.  There are many who are hurting from our abortion culture who have bought the lie that their lives don't really matter.  So please, take the time to tell others that you are so glad they were born.

Two years ago, on my birthday, my birthmother called to wish me Happy Birthday and to tell me that
my biological grandmother had died earlier in the day.  I was born on her wedding anniversary, and she died on my birthday.  We had both been to visit her a few weeks before.  I got her to smile and to laugh by singing to her, "You Are My Sunshine."  Please understand that God gave me the gift of voice for speaking only!  So you can understand why anyone would laugh.

My birthmother and I had a long heart-to-heart.  I told her that I had just arrived the night before to visit my in-laws in Massachusetts, but that I would fly home to be with her.  At the end of our conversation, we were about to hang up when she stopped me:  "Rebecca, Rebecca!"  Then her voice broke, "I just want to say, I'm so glad I had you!"  That was the best birthday gift ever! 

This morning, I wrote this poem to share on Facebook, and I'd like to share it here as well:

Today I was born!
I could have been torn
from my mom's womb,
her body my tomb.
But I have a birth
because others saw my worth.
See, I was protected
instead of dissected.
Today, I can celebrate
instead of having hate
for her rapist and
the abortion man.
So when you say,
"Happy birthday,"
please be aware
of why I am here,
and that others are yet neglected
when they should be protected.
 
This is the link to where you can share the poem on Facebook:  https://www.facebook.com/102194079817633/photos/a.164949103542130.26757.102194079817633/887640131273020/?type=1&theater
 
Bio:  Rebecca Kiessling is an international pro-life speaker, blogger, attorney, as well as wife and mother.  She's the founder and president of Save The 1, co-founder of Hope After Rape Conception, and co-founder of Embryo Defense.
 
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Thursday, March 19, 2015

My Father Was a Pretty Bad Man, But I Am a Blessing and Should Be Treated So! by Cindy Lambert

It’s hard to know where to start with my story -- I guess from the beginning.  I was conceived when my mom was raped by an encyclopedia salesman who forced his way into my mom’s mobile home, while my 3 year old brother was asleep.  He raped her, and then left.  She was in shock and didn’t know what to do.  She was on assistance and had a wonderful social worker, but was afraid to even tell her.

Approximately two weeks later, he returned around 11:30 at night.  He knocked and knocked, but my mom froze.   He proceeded to break in and she thought he would rape her again.  She told him that he WAS NOT going to do that again -- that he would have to kill her first.  They struggled over lights, and she was able to grab a hold of a phone and call the Police Department.  Incredibly, the Police told her that they couldn’t help her because she had to call the Sherriff since her home was out of the city limits.  

The rapist grabbed her by the neck and started choking her.  When she was slinking to the floor and no longer screaming, he suddenly ran out.  Shortly after that, the Sherriff did come, took her statement and looked at her neck.  They said they didn’t see any marks, then told her there was nothing they could do!  

She said she felt ashamed and alone.  She did contact her social worker, who instructed my mom to go to the hospital and get checked out, so she did.

A couple of weeks following, a Sherriff came to the office where my mom worked and spoke to her again regarding what had happened.   She said she sensed that he did not believe her.   But the following week, she got a call to come to the Police station to make an identity in a lineup.  The rapist was picked up on a drunken driving charge.   And YES, he was in the lineup.  The Police took his statement  --  shockingly,  it was identical to hers!  He confessed the whole thing.

My mom found out that she had become pregnant with me from this rape, and he was ordered to pay $10.00 a week in a Court Proceeding  --  until I was 18 years old.  She was later told that his family paid the weekly support, so as to not suffer more embarrassment to the family.

My mom’s Social Worker later informed her that the rapist was under suspicion, but not charged at that time, with a rape / murder of another girl prior to raping my mom, so my mom and I are both lucky to be alive.  She was also later told by her Social Worker that the rapist was in and out of the mental institution as a result of psychological trauma from his military service.

So that’s the story of my rape conception.  Mom and I did later in life talk about abortion and she said it was never a consideration.  She did, however, follow it up with saying “I always did want a girl -- good thing I was a girl.”  That kind of took me aback.

There is one thing I want to make clear:  I love my Mom with all my heart.  I know it wasn’t easy making the decision to have me and to keep me.  She had a very hard childhood.  She had an abusive father who drank heavily, and lost her mother to an illness when she was only 14.  Most of the memories my mother had for her own mom was of her being sick.  So my mother didn’t really have anyone to teach her things about life experiences.

My mom made mistakes and as would be understandable, she didn’t make good choices in men.  I was still a baby when she met a man twice her age – 32 years older than her who made her feel safe and took away some of the loneliness she had. He drank heavily and sure didn’t like me at all. He wanted his own little girl and I guess I wasn’t good enough.  Later, he got his wish and got his little girl -- my sister whom I loved so much. So growing up, my brother loved my step-father, and so did my sister, but I felt like the black sheep all the time.  Mom was afraid for me to be alone with him, so I had to stay hidden while she was at work.  On one occasion when I was a baby, my mom found him choking me until I had turned blue.  He eventually died of a heart attack, and our adoption was finalized two weeks later.  I was forced to take his name, which was another embarrassment for me.

When I was about 6 years old, I found out that I was conceived in rape.  What 6 year old knows what rape is? My cousin and her friends were talking about me, but they didn’t know I was under the table playing.  All I heard was that I came from rape and that the rapist got off by pleading insanity.  I ran to the bathroom and locked myself in.  I cried so hard thinking I must be tainted and really stupid, and that people are just being nice to me.  I know that sounds ridiculous now, but it hurt so bad at the time.  It was all I could reason for the way people made me feel.

My aunt came home and I let her in.  She hugged me and told me it’s ok and that one day my mom would tell me more when I get older.  All through school, I didn’t know what to say why I didn’t have a father. That was in the 60’s and it just wasn’t that normal. My mom had to work early in the morning in a factory and no one helped me get dressed or fed me. One teacher would hide me behind the easel to give me toast and orange juice.  I had no friends and I didn’t know how to socialize, so I played with myself.  I made up friends at home and most the time, I played like I was a teacher and everyone wanted to be my friend.

As I grew into a teenager, I wanted to know more, but I didn’t know how to tell mom that I already knew.  I was afraid she would be mad at me.  Mom and I started fighting a lot.  I did get to go to church, and I learned at a very early age that Jesus loves me always, no matter what, and that God was watching over me.  He gave me special people along the way when I needed them most.  I have never lost my faith; it was the only thing good in my life.

The one thing I really dreamed about was having a wonderful man who would love me -- really love me, and who would be my best friend.  One day when I was 11, I met this young man and I just knew he was to be mine.  How could this be, he was so cool and I was so young and plain?  I prayed for him to be mine every day.  I kept a diary and told all the silly things I did to get his attention.  Finally one day, when I was 14 and he was 17, Paul walked 22 miles in the hot country sun to my house to ask me to “go steady” with him.

I told him right away about my conception – that I never had a father and my mother was raped, and he never ever had a problem with it.  He says it only made him love me more.  God gave me a wonderful man and not just any man, but the one of my dreams!  He also gave me two wonderful sons who have made us proud parents.  It was July 3rd 1973 we started our life together, and with ups and downs like normal, we are still in love with each other and are best friends.   We dated for 5 years and have been married since 1978!

Even still, I fight moments of feeling insignificant.  I sometimes wonder if things would be different for me if mom had given me away to a loving family.  But in the end, I am who I am and God wants me to do my best in life and show compassion to those who need it when I can.

When I think about it, I feel like I am so lucky to have been given life, even though it wasn’t easy and happy all the time.   I know that I have to make my life count – to make God proud of me for giving me a chance at life.

I know my mom went through hard times too for me and she endured a lot of pain and loneliness.  I am glad to have my mother and to have known her all these years.  She couldn’t give me the nurturing I really needed growing up because she didn’t know how and it just felt uncomfortable -- I get that.  But I know she loves me and that is all I need.  I just have to work on loving me every day.  One wish I have would be that people would not look down on people like me because of how we were conceived, and that still affects me.

I never knew the man who raped my mother or his family.  It sounds like he was a pretty bad man, but I am a blessing and should be treated so.  I feel like pieces are missing in my life and I wish people knew how it hurts so bad sometimes because you can’t tell what causes you to be sad sometimes. But my mom always tells me, “Chin up!” When I’m feeling down.  And I know it’s hard to be down if you have your chin up!

BIO:  Cindy Lambert is a wife, mother, jewelry designer/crafter, and pro-life blogger for and member of Save The 1.
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