Monday, October 30, 2017

When I Look at My Son, I Have Never Thought of Him as Being Born From Rape, by Alisha Weiler

I'm finally ready to tell my story about having become pregnant by rape because the more of us that tell our stories, the better chance we have of being heard.  This is hard for me, but we have to start somewhere first.
 
When I was 18, I was supposed to go on a double blind date with my best friend (who was pregnant at the time) and her boyfriend.  We were supposed to meet at the bowling alley, but supposedly my blind date’s truck didn't work and he was at his step-father’s bar, so we met there.  We drank quite a bit -- not my friend who was pregnant, but her boyfriend, me and my blind date.  I had never really drank before, so I was certainly naïve.  My blind date kept serving up shots of Tequila.  I know I was under the legal age to drink, and should have known better. . . .

I ended up really sick, throwing up on the bathroom floor, and was carried out by my blind date.  I remember being put in my friend’s boyfriend’s car.  I passed out, and then I woke up as I was being pulled out and carried to my blind date’s apartment.  There was only a couch and no lights. I thought that was odd.  My blind date put me on the floor in a room and I passed out again.  I woke up naked and in pain, with him on top of me.  I was groggy, but I knew what he was trying to do and told him “No!” and managed to roll over, but he continued his efforts of forcing himself on me, and I began screaming.  I couldn’t understand why my friend and her boyfriend had left me alone and why nobody responded to my screams.

After he raped me, he left the room, and I remember finding a pair of pants nearby and putting them on.  I just sat there, my knees to chest, head down in my arms, rocking back and forth crying and confused.  After a few minutes, he came back in the room and attempted raping me again.  He grabbed my arms and tried to push me back, but I fought hard.  He got angry and left, slamming the door behind him.

I quickly got up and opened the door and yelled for my friend because I was afraid he would come back again. She was in the next room crying.  I told her what happened and she told me he attempted to rape her too, and that her boyfriend and my blind date had planned the whole thing.  He didn't rape her, but he tried,  and they had a massive struggle which ultimately resulted in her losing her baby hours later.
 
Her boyfriend wasn't in the room with her at the time I walked in, and I don't know where they were, but eventually they came back in and her boyfriend decided to take us home.  

He dropped us off at about 3:00 a.m. on a road close by her house and made us walk home from there.  Her boyfriend told me that the guy who raped me said to tell me, whatever he did to me, he's sorry.  

The next morning, my friend lost her baby. I was too ashamed to tell my parents or anybody that I’d been raped.  

Eight weeks later, I found out I was pregnant.  When the nurses and doctors heard that I was pregnant by rape, they tried to convince me that aborting my baby or adopting my baby out would be the best thing for my baby.  I was in disbelief!  I was just traumatized, and now they want to do that again?  More violence, more trauma?  Why would I kill an innocent child?  Why would God give me a gift so I can say, “No, I don't want what you just gave to me,” and throw it right back at God like a piece of trash?  My child is human and he deserves to live!

My parents found out I was raped and pregnant when they overheard me tell a friend on the phone.  Of course, they were upset that two months had gone by and I had not told them, but they were extremely supportive of me and my baby. They had raised me to be pro-life, and I knew it was never okay to kill a baby.

Once my parents knew about the rape, we proceeded to report it, as well as my girlfriend reporting her attempted rape and loss of her unborn child.  We both got restraining orders against him.  This was all in Florida.  My parents moved us to Texas when my son was four months old, and the wheels of justice were turning slowly. 

My biggest concern was making sure he could not have parental rights to my child.  At the time, Florida law did not protect me and my son.  However, a few years ago, the Rape Survivor Child Custody Act was passed in Florida to terminate the parental rights of rapists.  So, in order of us to be protected from the rapist, when my son was about six months old, a deal was made through his lawyer that he would agree to the termination of his parental rights in exchange for me dropping the charges against him. 

I felt guilty for not going through with the charges because he could just do the same thing to someone else, but my ultimate goal at this point was to protect myself and my son.  It was very difficult dealing with the whole situation and even just the thought of returning to Florida and seeing him again in court.

When I look at my son, I have never thought of him as being born from rape.  Life has
been good for me and my son.  He's smart and gets great grades.  He's in the 7th grade now.  He knows what happened and he's so thankful to be alive.  He will one day grow up and get married and have children and grandchildren.  My son deserved his right to life. 

He knows that people think that if a child is born from a rape, then that child should be aborted.  He told me that he’s glad I didn’t abort him and that he’s happy to be alive. My son still has not told anyone his story himself.  I’m sure he doesn’t want to be ridiculed for it.

I’ve told him that it can be a cold, hard world, but I am sharing my story now because people need to be aware that these babies don’t deserve to die for someone else’s crime.  I’d like to get the message across that there are more women like me who love our children who were conceived in rape, and like my son, who deserve to live – and without shame to them.  

Why would people think it's okay to take that right to life away?  It's time to speak out and up for these babies who should never be denied life!

For many years, I felt like I must be the only one who was raped and is raising her child.  I can't even describe how it felt to be so alone in this. But now, through Save The 1, I have met dozens of other mothers.  I want other women to know that there are others of us and we understand. 



BIO:  Alisha Weiler works in child care, is a mother of two, and resides in Florida.  She is now a pro-life blogger for Save The 1 and is available for speaking in Florida.
Saturday, October 14, 2017

Pro Life, NO exceptions by Rachel Mary Guy

I cannot remember a time when I did not know my story, but as I got older God started to really do something in my heart that compelled me into action.

Can you imagine finding out at a young age that three doctors wanted you dead? It is hard to wrap my mind around the fact that anyone would have wanted me dead, but even harder for me because they were doctors! They were in a position of power to insist and pressure that my life be ended. My story taught me that doctors have great power not only for tremendous good but also for tremendous evil, and some doctors see only some lives as valuable and do not believe in fighting for all life.

At 14 years old, God impressed upon my heart to write to the six doctors involved in my journey. I wrote to three of the doctors thanking them for honoring my parents’ pleas to fight for my life. Out of a deep forgiveness and passion, I wrote the other three other doctors who told my parents to abort me. I told them I forgave them and about the gospel message and that this amazing Savior, Jesus, loves them passionately and longs for them to use their power for good and not for evil.

As I stared at the face of one of the doctors online who wanted me to be gone, I cried because he was lost and believed that the intentional killing of an unborn child could ever be a “solution” for parents of a sick child.

To this day it baffles me that we have come to a place in our society where people in positions of medical power would ever think that destroying lives would ever be a course of action for an innocent life whose only crime is location and health status.

At my mom’s 22-week ultrasound the tech saw something wrong, so she notified the doctor. The doctor came in, frantically telling my mom that she needed to have an abortion because I would die and my mom would die and that I must have some chromosomal abnormality not compatible with life as my mom was missing half of her amniotic fluid. My mom said that she would never abort, and that she loved me. My parents (this time with my dad) would come back at 24 weeks and the same scenario happened but this time all of the amniotic fluid was gone. This same doctor told them (yet again) that they needed to abort me because I had a chromosomal abnormality that was not compatible with life. When my parents refused this, they were sent to speak with yet another doctor in the practice. My parents told me that this doctor calmly (which made this conversation even more chillingly disturbing the casual way ending my life was insisted upon) told them that they must have an abortion because their child would have no “quality of life.” My mom said, “Our child will have quality of life because this baby will know the unconditional love of God.” The doctor went on to say, “Well, you will have many other children.” My mom said, “Even if we have 100 other children, we want this child. This child is valuable.” The conversation went on for about 20 minutes when my dad said, “We will not abort, so what will you do to help us?” The doctor said, “In all of my years of practice no one in your position has ever “not” aborted, so all I can say is to go home and wait for your baby to die and you will come back and deliver a stillborn child.” My parents went home heart-broken, not only that these doctors so devalued my life and had written me off, but with the thought that other parents are made to believe they must have an abortion. My parents were not giving up on fighting for my life but they did not know what that looked like.

When my parents called my grammy, she said these words that would change everything, “If there is a heartbeat then there is hope.” God used my grammy’s words to give them hope through Jesus. My dad talked to an ob/gyn at church who knew my situation. And she knew my mom’s primary ob/gyn and would call him. When she did, she could not even imagine the doctor’s sickening response. The doctor told her that the only test he would do for my parents was an autopsy. This doctor at the church then got us into the hands of two doctors at another hospital who said they would honor my parents’ wishes to fight for my life.

While my mom and I were in the care of these new doctors, they saw BOTH of us as their valuable patients. They put my mom on bed rest in the hospital and took me via C-section at the first day of my 26th week. The doctors said that they didn’t know if I would be born alive, and that it would be like getting a pit out of a peach due to lack of amniotic fluid and if I was born alive that I would be too sick to make any noise. The kind doctor that delivered me said I was born squawking. I was born at 26 weeks 1 lb. 2oz.

I was in the NICU 5 1/2 months and I thank God that my parents never backed down on fighting for me! They didn’t know if I would live, but they embraced each day and gave it all up to God!

God has used my story to open my eyes to the reality that we live in a world that devalues and dehumanizes some life and that even within the medical field, and even within the pro-life community, “some” life, like mine, is deemed an “exception.” My story has compelled me to be a voice not only in a world that strips people of their humanity, but also within the pro life community to share that babies with “fetal anomalies, chromosomal abnormalities, conceived in rape or incest, destroyed embryo children from IVF” are human beings authored by God with just as much intrinsic value as any other child. When we start classifying human beings into categories of who is valuable and who is not does that make us any different than those in our history who dehumanized different people groups?

Throughout every generation, a people group has been dehumanized and stripped of their personhood. Isn’t it about time that we learned from our horrific human history and see our humanity through God’s lens that ALL life is equally valuable and that we are all persons, healthy or sick, no matter how conceived, made in the image of our God and Savior, Jesus Christ. Our mental state towards a person does not change their/our humanity. Society does NOT define our value. God does. If we could grasp that truth, no life would ever be marginalized, deemed disposable and dehumanized. We must must have laws in place that protect ALL life from fertilization to natural death because man in his humanity, as we have seen historically, wants to redefine what God has already defined. Our laws must protect ALL PERSONS and recognize the inherent dignity of all life.

All life is valuable! Society sees ability as what gives “value” yet they never recognize that ALL life is innately valuable because we are ALL created by God.
Monday, October 2, 2017

Irish Pro-Choice Advocates Try to Silence Victims of Rape by Sarah St. Onge


Irish Pro-Choice Advocates Try To Silence Rape Victims, by Sarah St. Onge




A fierce battle is being waged in Ireland over the “8th Amendment”. Unlike the US, and most of its European neighbors, Ireland formally recognizes the preborn child as a human being with his/her own inherent value and right to life.  The 8th amendment prohibits abortion from conception and through all 9 months of pregnancy, under any circumstances save when the life of the mother is threatened.



While we’re mourning the death of a dissolute human trafficker, and feigning outrage over the latest NFL decision, Ireland is deciding whether to continue protecting its most vulnerable citizens or join the  21st century abortion death-cult led by Planned Parenthood.



Irish pro-lifers (ie the majority of rational Irish citizens) have come out en force. They have spent months knocking on doors to inform the public about the issue. They’ve secured television and print ads, as well as held rallies. Their rallying cry- "Love them Both" is one of compassion and understanding.



However- they’ve been met with fierce opposition by radical pro-abortion groups who have decided to use the most aggressive of tactics to silence them.



“I knew this campaign was going to be divisive, that there would be nastiness and vitriol battered at prolifers. The level of abuse is truly off the scale though. Is this still Ireland?? Or have we woken up in another country? Frightening is an understatement, women who have been pregnant through rape or conceived through rape are reduced to standing on the street to deliver their stories? Is this some Soviet state where freedom of speech is punishable? Is this what freedom was fought and won for in Ireland?  Absolutely terrifying and sickening, and no date as yet set for an actual referendum, all of this from a minority of rabble rousers and anarchists allowed to screech and bully...we've been funding these miseries for much too long.”



This statement from an Irish pro-life activist, who wishes to remain anonymous, in response to the numerous threats and intimidations visited on American pro-life speaker Rebecca Kiessling of Save the 1. She traveled to Ireland this week as part of the “Unbroken- Life Beyond Rape” tour, arranged by Life Institute. She was scheduled to speak on the realities of pregnancy and abortion after a sexual assault in two separate venues.



Instead, pro-choice activists decided to silence her, publicly bragging about removing posters, which were placed to advertise the event. In addition, they began a campaign of harassment- including sending death threats to individuals they identified through social media who were staff at the hotels where their speaking engagements were to be heard, causing both hotels and a third alternate, to rescind their contract with the Unbroken –Life Beyond Rape group.




Ms. Kiessling and others were instead forced to stand out in the street to deliver their message- a message which, unlike that of the Repeal Movement, was one of love, strength, unity and hope. Ms. Kiessling spoke boldly about her own situation as the child conceived in rape, stating the facts in passionate and practical detail:



Women are naturally inclined to love and protect their offspring. They must be conditioned by external forces to despise them.



The abortion lobby teaches women to view their children as invaders or aggressors, instead of victims of circumstance, especially in cases where a sexual assault has occurred.



Children conceived during an assault have the same inherent value as those who are conceived during a consensual act of passion. They are human beings.



Women who have been assaulted deserve better than an abortion. They need help to integrate their violation into their lives. We don’t need to become destroyers of life in order to regain power over our own lives.



Unfortunately the vitriol continued, with gruesome comments left on Save the 1’s Facebook page- there were threats of violence aimed at both women, and no attempts to excuse the threats and destruction of pro-life property. In fact, those responsible for doing so were proud of their actions. Their official responses delivered with flippancy. We’re not linking to their sites or pages. We won’t give them the satisfaction of sharing.



The truth is- the Repeal movement really doesn’t care about women. If they did, they wouldn’t send their men out to re-violate a rape survivor, by in essence telling her that her story doesn’t matter and her right to speak her truth is subordinate to others. They wouldn't tell a woman conceived in rape that her mere image offends them, if they cared about women.



Ms. Kiessling did not travel to Ireland to bring an American viewpoint to the debate. They all came to offer their testimony in the court of opinion- their personal and traumatic testimony- in hopes of letting Irish women who may have been through similar circumstances, that they aren’t alone. Their stories matter. One Irish woman wrote, after meeting them, “I felt that I belonged yesterday and was not ashamed to say I was raped and I could never talk to anyone about it in Ireland until yesterday. You helped me cry out openly...”



They also went to create a dialogue with those who may be on the fence, or even those who oppose them, in hopes of changing hearts and minds and bringing them to a place of love.



Unfortunately the Repeal movement has decided to offer them only threats of violence in response...... just like with the men who violated them, these women have been told to "keep quiet or else." Fortunately these women are much stronger than those who try to silence them will ever be. And for Ireland's children, women like them may make all the difference.





Sarah St. Onge is a wife, mother of 4, step-mother of 2, and pro-life blogger for Save The 1.  She blogs on grief, loss, and pro-life issues pertaining to continuing a pregnancy after a lethal anomaly has been diagnosed, at www.shebringsjoy.com.