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Wednesday, October 19, 2016
"Mom, That Baby Is As Much Of A Victim As You Are!" How My Daughter Saved Her Sister's Life, by Monica from Chile
I was very happy until I met him. We had a relationship of more than 2 years in
which I ended up being forced to endure everything he could think of until I
was pregnant with our first child. He
and I each had children from previous relationships, so I just knew when I was
pregnant. He began to insult me and
abuse me even more -- until I lost my first baby. It's a
pain that hurts even until today -- more so when he started yelling at me in the
streets that I had killed my baby.
We had stopped living together and I had ended the
relationship, but he kept going to bother me at my house, stalking me. I had reported this situation to the police
and in court, but nothing happened. The
court refused to grant me a restraining order.
As much as I called the police, they just told me they did not have a
restraining order to be able to arrest him.
I remember one day, I did not have money for me and my son
for transportation, so we walked from school to the house, which was very far
and we arrived exhausted. We went to bed
that night and forgot to put chains on the gates of my house -- a situation
that he took the opportunity to get into my house.
He knew all of our
habits. We would always drink water at
midnight and that day was no exception. My ex-husband put a powder in our waters,
which was confirmed by testing weeks later.
With both of us drugged, he did what he wanted to me. He raped me, and the result of that was that I
became pregnant.
I could not believe I was pregnant! I had no partner and I knew that I had not been
with anyone. But the strange thing was that
my ex-husband had stopped stalking me and had disappeared for those three
weeks.
But the day after he drugged and raped me, my son and I had
felt very strange. We went to the
emergency room and we took some blood tests. It took three weeks for those results to come
back.
When I discovered I was pregnant, I wanted to die. I did not know how or why I was pregnant, but
I was. When I saw my gynecologist to verify with a blood test, I shocked to
hear him say: "You became pregnant two and a half weeks ago." I wanted to die, really.
I began to think about what could have
happened, and I remembered that a neighbor had a surveillance camera at home,
so we reviewed the recordings from the night my son and I were drugged, and we
observed my ex-husband entering my house, because it was the night we had not
chained it. He still had only the key to
the gate and door of my house, which he would not return to me. So he watched for us to slip up by not using
the chain, and he entered my home where he drugged and raped me.
I cannot say enough how much I wanted to die at the time! I felt dirty. I felt that everyone looked at me with disgust
-- that was the worst. So I sought help,
and the first thing said to me was: "Abort! How much are you going to suffer when you
look at that rapist’s baby, and your memories come to your mind with all of the
trauma?"
Really, I got to thinking, and I then became determined to
kill that baby -- until I reached out to my oldest daughter. She took my arms and angrily told me,
"Mom, how are you going to kill that baby you carry in your womb?! That baby is as much a victim as you are! She did not ask to come into the world. You always dreamed of having three children
and, anyway, this will be your third child. Did you forget everything you suffered in
miscarrying your child and now you want to kill this baby who is a victim just
like you?”
Those words touched me to the depths of my being. She was right -- that baby was a victim of my
rapist. The trauma of my rape was
already a great weight, along with what I endured during the last period of the
relationship we had. He was such an animal. Just the thought of him caused me chills.
When he found out I was pregnant, I was already four months
along. He came to my house, he said
sorry, and said he was there with the intention to talk like two adults. He is a former Marine, and was a scuba diver
for 25 years. He knew how to act
professional and calm when he wanted to.
We began talking very well when, suddenly, I felt bad. I was vulnerable – a single mom, pregnant out
of wedlock, exhausted, needing financial help. He, very friendly, was telling me he would
stay on the first floor in case I needed help, and I succumbed. But at 4:00 in the morning, I got up to the
bathroom and he immediately started insulting me. Hearing me cry, my 9 year old son woke up, and
when I turned toward my son, my son yelled at me: "Mom, watch
out!!!!" My ex-husband struck me
hard. I ran down the stairs, clutching
my son and we stood in the kitchen. I
hugged my son, as I held a knife in my hand to keep my abuser away.
I called the police who told me they were on their way. But an hour went by and I again called the police
because he continued to threaten me and screamed more and more. The policeman who answered listened on the
phone and could hear how I screamed and could hear him threatening to keep
beating me. I told the policeman I was 4
months pregnant and with a child of 9 years right there with me, holding a
knife in my hand to try to protect us.
The policeman screamed and I remember as if it were today
trying to calm down the policeman. He
called on the other line to get other officers to my home, and in five minutes,
they were there with three vans and two police cars. A contingent of officers got out and had to
break the window of my house to get in and rescue us. They stayed with me, giving me police
protection, until we were all before the Family Court. At last, my ex-husband was given a
restraining order – which he never respected.
I spent the remainder of my pregnancy stressed, anxious,
frightened and suspicious of everyone -- until my daughter was born. The doctor performed a Caesarean section on me
early. I named her Mailen, which means
"strong woman" because this is the bond we have.
Once she was born, I just wanted to leave that place and
return to my home town in Chile and surround myself with the love of my family,
getting away from any further harm and abuse.
Now I see my daughter who is 4 years and 8 months old, and I
ask forgiveness for ever thinking of
Ladies, I particularly want all of you to know that my child
is a blessing – MY blessing! I will ask
forgiveness to the last day of my life merely because I even thought for a moment
about aborting my daughter.
Monica from Chile is a mother of three and now a blogger for
Save The 1. This story has been translated from our
Spanish blog, Salvar El 1.
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