In 2010, I continued a pregnancy after my unborn child was diagnosed with a "lethal birth defect." During my pregnancy with Beatrix, {full story told here} I was repeatedly pressured by medical professionals to "terminate."
Imagine this for a moment -- you’ve learned your baby will not live for long, if at all, outside of the womb.  Your only opportunity to see your child moving and alive may be in your doctor’s office on an ultrasound screen, yet your doctor turns the screen away telling you your child “isn’t like a baby”, -- refusing to allow you a glimpse of that tiny person in your body.

This physician’s personal bias didn’t stop at trying to manipulate a family into ending their baby's life, but included attempts to persuade them to travel out of state to procure the abortion, because they had already passed the legal gestational age of 24 weeks for late-term abortion in their own state.

Those of us who try to encourage women to continue their pregnancies hear these types of stories often.  It is tragically common for doctors to present "therapeutic abortion" as the normal course of "care" for a pregnancy in which an adverse diagnosis has been made.  Many doctors do not even broach the subject of continuing the pregnancy, simply asking pregnant mothers, “when should we schedule your termination?” after a diagnosis.  Most medical professionals assume that every woman wants to -- or should want to -- end a pregnancy where a child has been diagnosed with a lethal birth defect. In fact, when researching different lethal congenital disorders, you will often find "termination" listed as the “treatment” for the disorder!  This is not a woman-centered or parent-driven attitude, but a physician-driven attitude. 

In terms of parents' decision-making, the carry to term path has flourished with organizations which support the parent(s) continuing their pregnancy.  The good news is that many hospitals have now created perinatal hospice programs for those using their facilities to deliver their babies.  In terms of women's health -- carry to birth has consistently and unequivocally proven to be a healthier medical treatment for women.

Trials are a way for God’s name to be glorified.  It’s called purpose! My name is Yoi Reyes and my husband Pete and I are the founders of Mary's Pregnancy Resource Center in Fort Lauderdale, Florida.  It is my prayer that as you read my story and what the Lord has done, you will be encouraged.  The reason why I was called to serve this specific population of women experiencing unplanned pregnancies is because I, like these women, had to face many of the hardships that they are presently facing.  

I was born in Havana, Cuba.  My father was a Captain for the Navy and my mother was an English teacher for the Naval Academy.  However, when I was only 3 years old, my parents divorced.  That was the first wound of many.  My father was my hero and I remember sitting at the front door of my house and crying as I waited for him to come home from work, and when he did, I would cry for him to take his shirt off as a sign that he was going to stay.  He did every time, but then the nightmare would start all over again whenever I woke up, and he wasn't there.   

My mother couldn't deal with the divorce and ended up at a military psychiatric center where she met my step-father who was a Captain for the western district of the Police Force in Havana.  He had also been admitted to this psychiatric center because he was dealing with chronic depression as a result of his own divorce.  Not long after they were both discharged, they married and he moved in with us.  I was about 4 years old. 

Soon after, my step-father began to sexually molest me.  At such a young age, I could not understand what was happening.  I was too young to make much of it and he was smart enough to know how to confuse me, by making me think that he loved me as my father.  He was a father in every other area, so in my mind that was the way it was, although I felt uncomfortable and fearful.   As if that was not enough, around the same time a neighbor and close friend of the family also sexually molested me. 

Years passed by and the abuse continued, so I escaped into a world I created where books were the only thing that mattered.  I would read all kinds of books and study as much as I could.  Year after year, I would receive the highest report card score of my grade, so everyone assumed that I was "fine." I did not show much interest in playing with other kids, but everyone also assumed that I was sociable because I enjoyed talking and spending time with the adults. 

At 9 years old, as my stepfather was abusing me, I got upset and told him that I was going to tell my dad about it and that I didn't like what he was doing to me.  In response, he put his gun to my head and told me that if I ever told anyone, he would kill my family and then kill himself.  From that moment on, I felt responsible for the well-being of my family which placed an impossible burden to carry at my young age.   

My mother, on the other hand, asked me not to testify or rather to lie and tell the judge I didn't remember the abuse that I had received from my neighbor.  She thought it was better to "forgive."  Of course, what message did I get from that?  So I thought, "Why bother telling anyone what my step-father was doing to me? No one cares.” After all, my own mother had just coerced me to forgive the same offense by lying to the judge. 

My teen years arrived and with it, you can guess:  lots of rebelliousness.  I was angry, disrespectful and began to smoke cigarettes.  By then, I fully understood what was being done to me and I didn't know how to deal with it.  I was now 13 years old and so, my step-father decided to take it to the next level.  The abuse went from molestation to rape involving intercourse.  As that continued, I eventually got pregnant.  I had a boyfriend with whom I was having sexual relations as well.  My step-father was not sure who the father of the baby was, and did not want to risk being caught.  So he convinced my mother, and they took me to a clinic to have an abortion.  It worked – no one knew how he’d been raping me.  The abortion protected him, and the rape continued.

I was very confused when they took me for the abortion.  The only thing I remember is a deep anxiety and desire to know whether it was a boy or a girl, and that desire actually never went away. I was put under anesthesia, but I remember being depressed afterwards and having horrible nightmares -- always the same ones where I would fall into a deep dark hole at a very fast speed. 

By the time that I was 15 years old, I got pregnant again. This time, the doctors didn't want to perform another abortion because I was too young and underweight.  When my son was growing inside of me, I was happy and couldn't wait to meet him.  I did have a fear that he would look like my stepfather, but when he was born on November 21, 1990, that all went away, and I was madly in love with him.   

Years passed by and I always wondered who the real father was, always fearful that it could be my step-father.  To this day, I haven’t had a DNA paternity test, although many genetic similarities lead me to believe he is biologically my step-father's.  But it doesn't matter -- I know who his mother is and I love my son with all of my heart! 

The next years were hard; I was practically out of control, spending very little time in my house, partying, drinking, and everything else that comes with it.  It was at the age of 18 when I got involved with a man that was 15 years older than me and at 19, I left the country in a raft with him.  Out of desperation, I left behind everything, including my 4 year old son.  This was just the beginning of another journey full of pain and abuse.  The man was a drug dealer and I was smoking lots of marijuana, but through it all, I always managed to work and help my family in Cuba.   

This 7 year abusive relationship left many physical, emotional and psychological scars. I didn't have anyone in this country and was more fearful of the outside world than of the abuse I was facing.  After all, as far back as I could remember, abuse had always been a part of my life.  I couldn't resist anymore and suicidal thoughts were visiting me very often, so I decided I was going to leave this guy, but I was afraid because he was very dangerous and aggressive. However, I did find help to leave, and met my husband Pete during that process.

Because of our histories, my husband and I decided that we needed help and we pursued counseling.  Two years of counseling and 60 weeks of Life Skills Classes gave us healing and an understanding that things did not have to stay the way they were, and that we can use our tests and turn them into testimonies -- allowing those experiences to be used for God's glory to help others understand that with help, they too can overcome their painful histories.  It is just a matter of being humble and recognizing that we need help.

While receiving counseling, I was working as a Case Manager for a shelter and they acquired a grant to help women experiencing unplanned pregnancies.  They assigned me to that program and I found myself right at home.  However, the more I did, the more I wanted to do for these clients, but could not spread my wings. It was through a time of prayer when I felt this urge.  I couldn't change my past, but I could become in the future something that I longed for many times -- someone who cared.  I made up my mind that I was going to be that someone.   

I spoke to my husband and pastor regarding opening a Crisis Pregnancy Center at our church and they supported me.  My husband worked long hours in a room of our church transforming it into a beautiful center and we began helping the women of our community, but the financial situation was tight.  We were financing the ministry primarily out of our personal savings account.  Several months later, we applied and received a grant from the Florida Pregnancy Support Services Program.  I can share with you testimony after testimony of lives that have been saved and healing that have taken place.  

We now rent a 3/4 acre facility where we counsel and case manage the clients, educate, refer and provide many resources. We have celebrated weddings, baby showers, childbirth and even serve stillborn services.  I can understand the pain of these women.  I can see that there is more than a rebellious young lady, or a lazy woman, or a promiscuous one.  I share with them the trials, but also the victory.   

My husband and I have been married for 14 years now.  I hadn't seen my son for a long 12 years, but then with my husband's help, I was able to bring my son to the United States since I became an American Citizen. We were able to buy our own house several years ago and have work for God and ministry for the last 10 years. I overcame, and have seen that by sharing my story with our clients, it gives them hope and encourages them to keep fighting and to turn their lives into something beautiful.  I also like to share my story because many people are quick to judge another person's life without knowing the root of the problem or the wounds that the person has suffered.  In fact, many times these problems are rooted in their childhood and are responsible for their unhealthy lifestyles. 

I am a Christian and will never be ashamed of the gospel of Christ for it was Jesus who brought light into my world of darkness and all glory goes to Him for every accomplishment.  Every hurting soul who is experiencing an unplanned pregnancy is our responsibility.  Every baby deserves to live and we seek to testify about Jesus through our unconditional services to their mothers.  Because I know the mothers’ pain, I can share the good news of the hope that is in Christ.  Through my life, they can see that no matter what we have gone through in life, we are able to conquer and become something new and beautiful. 

I have been able to mourn the loss of the child that was aborted when I was young and I don't walk in guilt and shame anymore.  Instead, I speak boldly and openly about my life – yes, with pain, but also with the hope that others will see how it is not impossible to get out of the pit in which they find themselves at the present time.

Unfortunately, I was never able to conceive again; my son is my only living child and without him, I would not have had the opportunity to know what being a mother feels like.  I can't imagine my life without him from the time he was born to now at 25 years old.  I can't imagine my life without the nights in the hospital with his asthma attacks, or his hernia surgery or all of the other things we experience as mothers.  No one can imagine the pain when I had to leave him behind not to risk his life in the ocean while coming to the U.S.. I got to experience the joy of picking him up in the airport when brought him here, seeing him give himself to Christ and getting baptized by my husband, taking him to soccer games and youth activities, and helping him get his first job and apartment. 

 Life is not easy and it has not been easy for him either.  He has many things to deal with, as society pushes shame upon children conceived in rape, and he is not the exception.  But nothing will keep his father (my husband) and I from continuing to pray and support him as he travels the painful, but worthy, journey of healing.  My son is not perfect, but he is a hard working young man who was definitely fearfully and wonderfully made by our Lord and Savior.

I had never heard about abortion bans "except in cases of rape" back in Cuba, but as soon as I heard about it here in the U.S., I was angry that someone could think it was best for my son not to be alive because of no fault of his own.  There should be no exceptions because my son is all I would want in a child; no exceptions because he is not the son of a stigma, but the son of a mother who would do anything in this world for him and of an adoptive father who loves him as his own; no exceptions because he is not a piece of garbage, but my most precious treasure; no exceptions because his life matters!
 
Bio:  Yohanka Reyes is a pro-life blogger for Save The 1. Bilingual, she's also a blogger for Salvar El 1.  She serves as the Executive Director of Mary's Pregnancy Resource Center, is a wife, and mother.  She'll be in Washington, D.C. at the March For Life 2016.  Please come by the Save The 1 booth at the Expo, or say hello when you see her with her pink sign -- MOTHER FROM RAPE I LOVE MY CHILD!

Petulant or Vigilant? The Battle For No Exceptions – By Jim Sable

At Save The 1, we experienced other successes, as our network of individuals representing one of the so-called “hard cases” expanded into the hundreds.  We helped start our affiliate group Save The 1 - Carry To Birth.  We launched our international outreach with the Save The 1 Spanish and Portuguese divisions: Salvar El 1 and Salva O 1.  We witnessed our message spreading and the topic of the rape exception discussed more frequently.  We also observed, and in some cases directly influenced, the introduction and passage of many State abortion regulating laws that did not contain the usual “exceptions”.  We assisted worldwide to keep the rape exception out of important pro-life laws.

But, along with those positive 2015 results, as we at Save The 1 represent and defend the lives of the so-called “hard cases” of the abortion debate, we continue to witness and experience many verbal and written challenges to the right to life of the “exceptions”, from individuals and groups on both sides of the debate.  Each challenge is a slap in the face, and we turn the other cheek while we continue to defend our lives and the lives of those similarly situated.  We have turned the other cheek so often that our heads are spinning.  It is not difficult to understand the disrespect from the abortion supporters, but when we battle with the pro-life community, it is particularly perplexing and exasperating.

A recent example of this occurred as 2015 was winding down and the 2016 Presidential campaign was gaining momentum.  The pro-life community reacted in unison to denounce a statement made by self-proclaimed pro-life Presidential candidate Jeb Bush.  Mr. Bush answered a question about whether he would have ended the life of the infant Hitler.  Jeb Bush answered, “Hell yeah I would!”.  One well known and influential pro-life blogger railed against Bush in a Facebook post in November, chiding Bush by unequivocally stating that the pro-life community cannot abandon “Principles” and make “Pragmatic Compromises”.  Bush’s pragmatic compromise about Hitler is not pro-life.  “Once we compromise the principle, we can’t with a straight face appeal to it anymore,” the blogger wrote.  (This is a blogger who had previously advocated for laws containing exceptions, defending compromise.)

Save The 1 was encouraged by the post that cited “principles” written by someone who has shown a willingness to compromise on pro-life laws.  We reached out to see if the blogger’s idea of principles still included an acceptance of the exceptions.  Surely, one who would not condone killing the infant/preborn Hitler would also now be standing by principle and rejecting exceptions, or so we hoped, and communicated that hope in our response to the post.  Unfortunately, our hopes were unfounded.  Instead of a reassuring affirmation of our right to life, we were told that this blogger was “. . . weary of the fallacy of the 1% argument”, (whatever that means).  We were also called “petulant” (3 times) for our no exceptions position and for expressing a challenge to the compromising ideology.  So, Save The 1 is apparently petulant for defending all life, but a blogger who responds to a challenge, not by engaging in respectful debate and Q & A on the points, but instead by name calling and misstating another’s views, is somehow virtuous.  We, evidently, are not allowed to defend our position, are not allowed to show any passion about our cause lest we be labeled as petulant.  Are we to understand this to mean: “Spare the baby Hitler – sacrifice the baby from rape”?

The blogger’s single defense is to claim that the blog has never stated that the rape exception is an acceptable compromise.  But, how do you separate an approval of exceptions in law from an approval of exceptions in general?  Is it logical to state that you are against the rape exception or that you don’t consider the rape exception an acceptable compromise and then promote and condone the exceptions in law?  Can you hold yourself out as “principled” when you accept any compromise?

The promotion of exceptions is troubling enough.  But there is also a concurrent promotion of and symbiotic relationship with compromising politicians.  The pro-life community has allowed politicians to define what it means to be pro-life.  Don’t the elected officials work for us?  This has been much more of a problem at the Federal level than the State level.  Save The 1 has observed much more success among the states in passing principled laws without exceptions.

This blogger gave us the erroneous example of rejecting hostage releases one at a time until hostage holders agree to release 100% as being analogous to a “no exceptions” requirement for a pro-life law.  This hostage scenario is not analogous to a no exceptions legal philosophy because a no exceptions philosophy would accept ALL hostages, one at a time or all at once, depending on the requirements of the hostage takers (abortion regulations).  A law with exceptions actually refuses some hostages (babies’ lives).  Here’s how: The hostage negotiating team (pro-life community) takes (protects) every life the hostage holders (abortion regulations) are willing to spare, (every life a law is designed to protect), and then, the negotiating team sends those now saved hostages who are rape conceived BACK to the hostage holders, (removes the legal protection for some by adding a rape exception to the law).  To put it simply, (and, seemingly, obviously), a law with exceptions excludes some lives, a no exceptions law does not.

We were accused of being responsible, at least partly, for the continued slaughter of 99% of babies because we defend the last  1%.  We were told, (and we have heard this many times), we are standing in the way of laws that would save 99% of babies tomorrow because we will not agree to the exceptions.  What we do object to is any group or individual who touts a hypothetical law, with imaginary results, who then claims a superior moral authority over others.  Our proposal could be considered hypothetical, but we have the historical record of Roe v. Wade to show that the rape exception is unworkable in practice.  It is impossible to know how many lives would be saved by an abortion ban with a rape exception, but it is certainly not the outrageous 99% claimed by this blogger.  A rape exception creates a huge, unenforceable loophole, and also exposes the real possibility of additional exceptions, which will be advanced and defended as just as valid, merely a court decision away from implementation, as the rape exception is given the force of law by OUR side.  The perpetually-promoted rape exception keeps abortion legal forever.

This leads to a broader issue and other questions.  We at Save The 1 are told that laws with exceptions need to be passed because they contribute to the “greater good” of ending abortion.  Who is the caretaker of the “greater good”?  Who gets to decide how we get there, when we will know we are there, and how long it should take to get there?  As compromising organizations and individuals advance an exceptions strategy that has almost no chance of ever ending legalized abortion, how is that promoting the greater good?  If the rape exception keeps abortion legal forever, allowing for a renewed expansion of abortion rights after a ban with exceptions somehow is passed, how is the long term greater good achieved?

There have been promises for decades that the exceptions strategy will change and the laws passed with exceptions will be fixed.  Neither has happened.  Case in point: the current Planned Parenthood defunding bill passed by the House and Senate has a rape exception.  So, we are handing the enforcement procedure of the rape exception to an organization that has already demonstrated that they do not comply with rape reporting requirements.  Is this an effective strategy?  Let’s make a commitment to change this strategy.  Now.  If not now, when?

From our standpoint, the blogger broke at least 2 tenets of debate, (1) - attacking us personally and, (2) - begging the question by assuming something as fact without any defending evidence.  These are rules that this blogger claims to uphold (but doesn’t) and demands that others do as well.  Here is another example of inconsistency we see often from some compromising pro-life individuals, from those in leadership positions on down.  They use a recommended line of reasoning when discussing abortion with those who are “personally pro-life” but supportive of laws allowing the “choice” of abortion by pointing out that the other person, despite his or her personal disapproval of abortion, is actually supporting abortion, the horrible act of killing babies that they claim to abhor, by supporting the legality of killing babies.  The “personal pro-lifers” are being inconsistent.  In other words, if you support the law, you support the act, despite what you claim are your own personal views.  How is accepting the exceptions in law any different?  It is puzzling that someone who is pro-life and compromises on the exceptions cannot seem to grasp that they are also displaying the same inconsistency.  Again, if you accept the law, you accept the act.

So what is it, actually, that is so distressing about our message to the people who accept exceptions in law?  Are they sincere and accurate when they say we are an impediment to pro-life success?  In their eyes we are a problem to deal with, a nuisance, a thorn in their side.  Or are they concealing something they do not want to admit?  Are we actually a challenge to their conscience?  Has the business of being pro-life clouded the purity of the message and distracted some away from fighting for the principle of “Every Life Matters”?  What percentage would we have to be for the lives of the “hard cases” to matter enough to be defended by everyone at every opportunity and to make legal exceptions to pro-life laws a thing of the past?  Apparently 1% is not enough. 

I was 19 and living on my own, working as a nanny.  An ex-boyfriend of mine who I was still friends with was going to come over to visit, as I had just recently moved into my new apartment.  He came in and we visited, and before long he was kissing me and trying to initiate intercourse.  I said "NO!" numerous times, and then my "freeze" reaction kicked in. 

For four years of my childhood, I was sexually assaulted almost daily by a family member.  I told a few different people, but nobody believed me.  I realized quickly that it wasn't going to end, so I learned to freeze because it stopped quicker if I pretended it wasn't happening.

So back to the night my ex-boyfriend raped me -- I froze, and he took advantage of me.  After he left, I cried on my bathroom floor for hours, wishing I had put up more of a physical fight.  I didn't report it, because I knew it would be like the abuse of my past -- my word against his.

A few weeks later, I realized that I had been having period cramps for a couple of weeks, where normally I would only get them for a day or two before my period.  That's when I thought I might be pregnant.  I ran to Shoppers Drug Mart and got a test.  When it said "yes," I went back and got another.  Of course it said the same thing. 

I was fairly close to my boss at the time, so I told her about my pregnancy a week or so later.  She told me she didn't want her kids to see me "in that condition," so if I wanted to keep my job I had to abort -- it was my child or hers.

I went to the Pregnancy Resource Centre, and asked the pregnancy counselor if she thought I should get an abortion.  She wasn't allowed to give me a direct answer, but she assured me that I was capable of raising my baby, and pointed me in the direction of helpful programs around the city.  When she estimated the baby's due date, I knew it was a sign because she was due on my birthday!

I kept her, lost my job, got a new one before I started to show,  When I gave birth to my daughter, I felt scared because because she was so small and fragile, but I was so in love, and the emotion only grew from there!

During my pregnancy, I also met the love of my life who is now her Daddy.  The only father she has ever known  -- he is the greatest father.  He plans to adopt her once we marry.

My daughter's biological father knows about her, but has chosen not to have any relationship with her, which is best for her and of course, a huge relief for me.

My little girl is now three years old and she is the most beautiful girl in the world!  We are (age appropriately) honest with her.  She knows that her Daddy didn't make her, but he chose her. 

She is not a "rape baby."  She is MY baby.  She is the baby of a rape victim, and she is worthy of life.  Children like her should not be punished for the crimes of their fathers. 

My daughter is truly the rainbow after the storm.