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Showing posts with label Mary Rathke. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Mary Rathke. Show all posts
Thursday, February 26, 2015
Will My Silence Save Babies? ~By Mary Rathke
With the recent debate in the New Mexico HB 390 Late-term Abortion Ban a fellow conceived in rape woman I know, was asked to be silent. She was told that her silence would save 95% of the babies that are killed in late term abortions. These politicians must assume that a woman who is desperate enough to receive a late term abortion will not lie about being raped to receive a way out of her current situation. Will my silence about being conceived in rape and being worthy of life really save 95% or will the “wink, wink-just say you were raped” approach of the abortion backers make that number 90%, 80% or even 50%? We don’t really know do we? Except we do know Norma McCorvey admitted she lied about being raped and that was why she needed an abortion. Many feel this was “an important point in the fact pattern of the Roe v. Wade case.”
Pictured here, I spoke out at a press conference in Lansing, MI December 2013 and the bill in question was passed without a rape exception. Once we who were conceived in rape spoke out, those asking for the exception immediately stopped insisting there should be an exception. Why? Because they couldn’t say our lives didn’t matter!
Save the 1, a pro-life speaker group of the “exceptions and hard cases” have been told by pro-life strategists not to keep silent but rather to speak out. If we speak out every time a pro-life bill has a rape exception, the pro-life community will finally understand that pro-life bills should not have exceptions put in them, in the first place. Even if the bill is killed initially, because in the long run the realization will come that the bills need to be presented without exceptions. I wish everyone would understand that we don’t need exceptions to pass pro-life bills, Michigan never has. When we as a pro-life community say, “Some life is not valuable,” we value none.
There are many parallel example we can look at, what if the South agreed to no more slavery except for the men over 6 foot tall. “Tall men would be too hard to control if not enslaved, don’t worry we’ll free 95% of the slaves who are under six feet.” Could you imagine if we, as an America people, found that acceptable? Some of our greatest basketball and football players, are very tall African-American men. Can you imagine living in a society where they were still kept as slaves in the South? Of course not, that is ludicrous! But at the time of the Civil War the thought of slavery being overturned was ludicrous to many people, however the abolitionist fought on. They educated the masses, they showed pictures of the brutality of slavery and eventually garnered enough support to overturn laws.
What about today? Should we educate the masses, show them pictures of those conceived in rape and shout from the roof tops their life matters? Unless we can pass a bill that has no exceptions in it, unless we can tell everyone every life matters, unless we can create a ban that does not allow any “wink, wink-lying” we will not have a real opportunity to overturn Roe v Wade. What the masses need to understand is, if a woman has the option of saying she had been raped, she will use that option in a desperate time. She will then live with the guilt of abortion for the rest of her life. The abortion will not end the memories of a rape it will only end a life, how can we live with that?
Can you look at my picture and say my life does not matter?
As an adopted daughter whose birth mother had been raped, Mary Rathke shares that even after a horrible encounter of rape, one can choose life and joy. Mary's story includes her birth mother's experience, how her adopted mother's tragic past was restored through adoption and the tough decisions she faced when her oldest son was born at 1lb 8oz. Mary is a wife, and mother of four children. She is a licensed minster and speaks monthly at the Good Samaritan Rescue Mission Chapel. She is a Savethe1 Director of the Board and the President of HELPeople, INC. She has been a part of the International March for Life Leadership conference in Rome, Italy and is endorsed by Dr James Dobson.
Friday, January 30, 2015
Putting A Face to the Issue Through Ads by Mary Rathke
The only way to overturn Roe v Wade is to stop the exceptions!
Did you know that Norma McCorvey – “Jane Roe” -- was told by her lawyers to say she was gang-raped, in order to make her case stronger to obtain an abortion? Today, her daughter is alive because the Texas Court protected them both from that abortion.
As a woman who was conceived in rape, I find myself sharing my story over and over again at many pro-life events. I have to ask, “Are you pro-life except in the case of Mary?” I know that about 60% of people who claim to be pro-life are okay with exceptions, but after they hear real life stories like mine, only 1% will still believe in exceptions.
Living in the great state of Michigan, I have learned significantly about pro-life politics surrounding this issue. Michigan has never passed a pro-life law with an exception. When the Michigan Legislature tried to pass a pro-life law in 2013, the Governor would not sign it because there was not a rape exception. So instead of submitting one, Right to Life of Michigan put together a petition drive. Once they had enough signatures, it was sent back to the Legislature. Of course, those on the left began to yell out, “What about in cases of rape?” Again, instead of adding an exception to the bill, those of us from Save The 1, who are conceived in rape, mothers from rape, or post-abortive from rape, held a press conference to explain that our lives matter. The discussion quickly shifted, and the bill passed – with no exceptions!
This, my friends, is how we are going to overturn Roe v Wade -- not by saying abortion is okay in some cases, but rather explaining to everyone that we fight for life because we truly believe that every life matters. To further the discussion, Right to Life of Michigan has produced some beautiful 30-second TV ads which tell the stories of women conceived in rape. My friend Travon Clifton’s story and my own story are being aired throughout the state. Right to Life of Michigan President Barbara Listing said, "Those in favor of abortion have pointed to survivors of rape to justify legalized abortion. There is a misconception that women who become pregnant from rape want to abort their children. This is a false stereotype not supported by fact." You can see more about what they are calling the “Compassion Project” by visiting www.RTL.org. Besides the 30-second ads, our 5-minute stories can be viewed there as well.
We cannot overturn a law that was based on a woman's claim of being raped, by continuing to allow rape exceptions. Instead of offering confused compassion to the rape victim by letting her believe that even pro-lifers think her child deserves death, we need to care for both victims, so they can both be survivors and overcomers. The woman needs real help to deal with her extraordinary crisis. We need to offer that help, counseling and support. The child simply needs life. We need to educate everyone that they can have compassion and understand -- even my life matters.
BIO: Mary Rathke is a wife, mother of 4, ordained minister at Bay Valley Christian Church, and pro-life speaker and blogger for Save The 1. She's also the President of HELP People Inc., serving the hungry and homeless. Her website is www.maryrathke.org.
Friday, November 14, 2014
Roots and Your Family Tree
Ever think about your roots? As an adoptee, when I hear others talk about their genealogy or family reunions, it can cause mixed emotions. Many who are adopted eagerly desire to connect with their birth families and actively seek them out. In my case, though, my adoption was open. As I grew older, the more I learned of my birth parents, the more it caused me to reject the idea of being connected to them. The truth came at me in waves.
The first one hit when I was five-years-old, the night before my adoption became final. Up until that moment I was technically an orphan, being cared for by a wonderful couple. Even though I had been with my birth mother for periodic visits until the age of two, I didn’t remember who she was. “Who is my mother?” I asked and pleaded then was shocked to hear the truth. She was the odd, quiet woman that frightened me.
My birth mother has paranoid schizophrenia. As a young adult, I finally understood why this loving couple had agreed to care for me and had finally asked for permission to adopt me. My birth mother was unable to raise me. When people learned I was adopted and asked if I would search for my birth family, I quickly answered that I knew my birth mother and had no desire to reunite.
Soon after turning eighteen, another wave hit me as I received a letter from my maternal aunt in Texas who wanted me to know that I had nine aunts and uncles in Texas! One aunt led me to believe that the entire family was splintered; the hope and desire I had to connect with them was soon shattered. However, they did want to know, was their sister okay? It was hard telling them that I did not know, I did not visit her. I was left feeling confused about my responsibility to them and her.
As an adult, my childhood fears and misunderstandings of mental illness wracked me with guilt. I decided to visit my birth mother. Though her living situation was unlike anything I had ever experienced and her quiet, odd behavior left me feeling uncomfortable, I was satisfied that I had made the first step in connecting with my roots.
Sadly, a tidal wave came as the result: a few days after the visit, I received a phone call from my birth mother’s legal guardian chastising me for visiting her. Supposedly, the visit had caused her to have an “episode” resulting in disruptive--possibly even illegal--behavior towards others. I was told that I needed permission from the guardian before I ever visited her again. This left me drowning in a wave of emotions that affected me for more than ten years.
In those ensuing years, I mailed letters and gifts. When he was in the hospital, I occasionally visited her husband, who was also mentally disabled. I considered this man my birth father. He was now my only connection to my birth mother. He would keep me updated about her. Sadly, his untimely death dealt the final blow to any hopes I had of staying connected to my birth mother.
I called his cousin to pass along the news that my father had died. The cousin quickly replied, “You know he is not your ‘real' dad, right?” Finally! Someone was willing to explain the mystery surrounding my paternity about which I had always been curious. I knew my adopted mother had heard rumors. My birth mother had made statements about it the one time I did visit. But now her husband’s relative was telling me the truth! The truth I had been afraid to seek out while my father was alive. I had been afraid to dishonor the man who was so proud of me, proud of my good grades as a girl, and later on as a grown woman, proud of my cute kids, his grandkids.
I learned the startling truth, a truth I was not prepared to hear. The man married to my mother was not my father. This cousin divulged the ugly news: my birth mother had been raped. Her husband knew, they had told relatives and had gone to the police. To preserve her honor, he had publicly claimed me as his own. I now realized that my birth parents consisted of a woman who is mentally ill and a violent criminal, the man that raped her.
Thankfully, at the time I learned this, my life was stable and my relationship with God the Father through Jesus Christ was strong. Instead of experiencing an identity crisis, I simply embraced my identity in Christ. A daughter of the Most High King was the only identity I desired. Birth family roots seemed unimportant, and, instead, I would embrace the love of my adopted family. I also began to share my story, bringing light and truth to counter the dark lie of “pro-life except in cases of rape”.
Then my maternal aunt sent me a Facebook message, stating that she and one of my uncles wanted to come to Michigan to visit me. As plans materialized, I learned that she and THREE uncles planned to visit! My birth mother had not seen any of her family for almost forty years. Little did I know how disruptive this visit would be. Deep down I felt bewildered: what were these uncles’ intentions? I didn’t even know their names nor had I ever spoken with them. Could it possibly be that they simply wanted to meet me? Why?
The night they arrived in Michigan, I drove to the house at which they were staying and noticed a man standing outside the door. He quickly introduced himself as one of my uncles and then told me that he had wanted to come to Michigan to meet me more than 20 years ago, just to let me know that they loved me. Peace flooded over me. All my uncles had similar sentiments of love, affection and concern for me. For the first time in a very long time, I felt genuine fatherly love. While I know I did not need this to feel complete, it felt so good, so validating. While their trip was short, the aftershock has not been.
Soon, I was invited to and attended their family reunion in Texas. I know that if they had not first visited me, I likely would not have gone. But I was extremely blessed and surprised by my uncles’ desire to spend extra time with me during the visit. These men whom I had only met weeks before, valued me, accepted me, had true fatherly concern over my wellbeing, and enjoyed my company.
I never expected to be so loved. I am the long-lost niece, found and now surprised by such lavish attention. Waves of joy have washed over me ever since, as I’ve relished the feeling of being so wanted. My conception may have been the result of violence, and my mother may endure a lifelong struggle with mental illness, but my life and purpose defy such confusion. I am wanted. Thank you, Mom, for choosing to labor and birth me.
--
Mary Rathke is a Board member and one of the national speakers for Savethe1 from Michigan.
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Thursday, June 5, 2014
Hard Cases Unite to Make a Difference! by Rebecca Kiessling
How would like to be labeled
“a hard case?” What if your class
of people were systematically targeted for extinction within legislation? What if political candidates felt quite
comfortable with stating their position that you and your kind aren’t worth
protecting and better off dead? What if
your child was regularly stigmatized by our society? That’s exactly what it’s like for those of us
who were conceived in rape, mothers from rape, and those given a poor in utero
diagnosis. But being branded as a “hard
case” becomes easier when we all begin to unite behind our unique kinship. And that’s what Save The 1 has been doing – drawing together
perhaps the most stigmatized and marginalized members of today’s society.
May 2014 was a very big month for Save The 1. On Saturday, May 3rd, Mary Rathke
and I both spoke at the 1st
Annual International Pro-Life Leaders Conference in Rome, Italy – sponsored
by Lifesitenews -- sharing our stories of having been conceived in rape. Mary was a double-exception because her
birthmother was raped after having been diagnosed as schizophrenic. Pro-Life leaders from around the world
received our message well – vowing to fight abortion without exception and
without compromise.
One woman – a nurse –
came up to us and showed us a photo of a baby who was conceived in rape. She explained that the pro-life activists at
the hospital have been familiar with my story since it’s been translated into
Italian, among many other languages. So
any time they have a patient who is pregnant by rape, they share my story on my
website with the pregnant rape victim.
This nurse credited my story has having saved the baby in the
photo. What a wonderful example for
every person with a difficult history to see how stepping out and sharing your
story can make a difference across the ocean, for someone else who doesn’t even
speak your language!
Upon returning from Rome, Mary Rathke spoke at Branch County
Right to Life’s benefit dinner where she met a grandmother who shared that her
grandchild was conceived in rape. This
grandmother was heartened to know that there are others who are paving the way
for her grandchild to be loved and accepted in our society. Several legislators and even judges shared
with Mary how her story helps them to be able to articulate a defense of all human
life.
On May 10th, I spoke at a Mother’s Day brunch at
Gateway Assembly in Imlay City, MI.
After the brunch, a 16 year old girl named Sarah came up to me to share
her own difficult story. She was
conceived when her birthmother was sexually trafficked by her own parents. Not only was she conceived during
unconsensual prostitution, but her birthmother had become a drug addict. Sarah is now writing out her story and is our
newest member of Save The 1! The next day
at the church, another family approached me whose young adoptive daughter was
also conceived in rape. They too were
thankful for a support system for their daughter and their family.
A week later, on Saturday, May 17th, Save The 1
had its 3rd Pro-Life Speaker Training Conference, at the legislative
offices of Right to Life of Michigan in Lansing, MI. We had five adoptees who were all conceived
in rape present – me, Mary Rathke, Travon Clifton, Sarah (these four are all
from Michigan), and Darlene Pawlik from New Hampshire. We also had one mother who had become
pregnant from rape – Karyn Liechty, one post-abortive mother from rape whose
abortion was forced upon her - Sheryl Williams, as well as Brad and Jesi Smith
whose daughter Faith has Trisome 18. In
the morning, everyone had a chance to practice responding to impromptu
questions often asked by reporters and during Q & A on college campuses,
and in the afternoon, each member gave an 8-minute prepared speech. We were blessed to have some family and
friends there in support, as well as three of our friends from Right to Life of
Michigan who helped with our critique – President Barb Listing, Ed Rivet and
Genevieve Marnon. As an additional
treat, filmmaker Jim Hanon (End of the Spear) and his team were present filming and we look forward to seeing the
pieces he is putting together for Right to Life of Michigan in conjunction with
Save The 1 members!
After a wonderful day of camaraderie, we had our first
official Board Meeting, having just filed our 501c3 application! Thank you to the Thomas More Society for
generously sponsoring our filing and to Sally Wagenmaker for your wisdom and
representation. I’m proud to announce
our stellar Board – Darlene Pawlik, Mary Rathke, Jim Sable (conceived in rape adoptee
from IL,) Nick D’Angelo (conceived in rape from NY,) Brad Smith, Dyanne
Gonzales from NM, and me – thank you all for your confidence in electing me as
President of Save The 1. I’m eager to
see what God is going to achieve through us all!
Our next Save The 1 speaker training conference is Saturday,
September 20th in Akron, OH at the offices of Right to Life of North
East Ohio, and our 5th Save The 1 speaker training will be held at the offices of Georgia Right
to Life in Atlanta on Friday, October 10th. In 2015, we hope to have more conferences
around the country, including in the Los Angeles area.
If you fall into one of the categories of “the hard cases” –
those whom Jesus would call “the least of these,” we would love to connect with
you! You are not alone. Connect with us on our Save The 1 Facebook page,
and e-mail me. We have a Save The 1 activism
e-mail group, and there is also an e-mail support group for those who are
struggling and/or who want to help others to know their incredible dignity and
worth.
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