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Showing posts with label Save the 1. Show all posts
Tuesday, August 14, 2018
Pregnant by Rape, I Refused Abortion Because I Knew God Had a Plan For My Baby, by Pat
It was the summer of 1957. I was 17 years old and heading into my senior year. I was at a dance hall with a bunch of friends. My parents had a curfew for me, so I needed to get home, but my friends who drove me wanted to stay. A young man who was a few years older than me and whose brother lived across the street from me offered me a ride home. I didn't really know him, but his family was very nice and it seemed like a kind offer.
As we were driving home, he passed by the block I lived on and I told him right away, but he insisted he had another way to get there. He went to a back road where there was no one around -- no houses or anything. I knew something was wrong, even though he said he just wanted to talk to me. I pleaded with him to take me home, but he forced himself on me. I fought him and I thought I was okay.
I went home, washed myself off, but told no one what had happened. I'd never experienced anything like that before and neither had any of my friends as far as I knew. I was frightened and I couldn't figure out why anyone would ever want to hurt me. Having an older brother, I'd always felt protected.
Since his brother lived across the street, he was still around, and he tried to come to my house to apologize, but I slammed the door on him. Thankfully, we were moving and I wouldn't have to see him at all much longer.
At the end of the summer, I was in a car accident and was thrown from the car. I ended up in a doctor's office, complaining that my stomach was hurting. They had me examined and asked me if there was any chance I was pregnant and I just said that I don't know because I had no idea about these things. When the results came back that I was pregnant, I was in shock.
At this point, I told my mother about the rape. My mom offered to raise the baby, but I said, "No, this is my child." The doctor asked if I wanted an abortion and I said, "Absolutely not! The baby is in my womb. God has a reason and it's my baby too." I knew what abortion was, and I knew that abortion kills a baby. I'm thankful for my Catholic upbringing which taught me about the value of life.
School was starting, but I was not able to attend my senior year because I was pregnant and that was not allowed. After I had my baby, the rules were changed, but this was what I faced. Even still, abortion would never have been a consideration.
During my pregnancy, I met my future husband and I told him I was expecting a child through rape. He was very kind, gentle and compassionate. Niel told me, nevertheless, he wanted to date me. Before my baby was born, he proposed to me. I told my mother, but she said to wait until after the baby was born to make sure Niel really wanted the baby. Niel gave my son his name, Peter, and I married him after Peter was born and he raised him as his own son.
When my son was born, he was 8 lbs, 7 oz -- a big baby. From the moment I first saw Peter, I loved him. He was beautiful. I never saw the rapist in him. He was my baby.
I believe God brought my husband into my life when I needed a father for my baby. I had prayed and asked God to bring one and He did. We had six more children, but two died during my pregnancy. I know what it's like to be laying on a gurney in a hospital losing your baby.
It wasn't until my son was in his 40's that I told him the difficult story of his conception. There was a family member who had insinuated that they were going to tell him, so I made sure that he heard it from me. I told him, "I love you with my whole heart and soul, but I've kept something from you and I have something to tell you." After I told him the story, he said, "You loved me that much and wouldn't abort me," and then he hugged me.
Today I have an agency that's 12 years old called Helping Hands Caring Heart -- a Christian-based agency. I developed it through what I had endured myself and I help women who are having children. So many of them have been raped. I help them so they're not homeless and don't lose their babies. I give them clothing and diapers and network them into jobs. I help them find apartments. It's a 501 c 3 nonprofit and it's located in New York.
I use my testimony to help others realize that they're not alone and to thank God that He has a plan for them and their children, as I minister the Gospel of Jesus Christ.
BIO: Pat's husband was killed by a truck as a pedestrian a few years ago, and Pat has been a widow since. Pat is a mother to 5, grandmother and a foster mother, as well as executive director of Helping Hands Caring Heart, and now blogger for Save The 1.
Monday, August 6, 2018
Is My Life Worth Less Than One Conceived In Love? by Karina Estrella Etchepare, Argentina
I am a person like
anyone else. I am a lawyer, a National Public Accountant
and an adult education teacher in a humble neighborhood of Buenos Aires, but I have a different story. My right to life was
questioned, and the continuation of my life depended on the strength and tenacity of a 14-year-old girl in order that
I may now tell you my story. Today in Argentina this challenging of lives is being repeated
again. This time, for all unborn children through 14 weeks, and for children conceived in rape right up until birth.
People like me today
are considered disposable. What was my fault so that my right to life is
questioned? I did not steal, I did not kill and yet I was about to be killed
in utero just for having been gestated out
of the rape of a poor girl.
My biological mother,
Teresa delMilagro, lived in the Itatí de Bernal emergency village in the
Province of Buenos Aires, Argentina in a context of absolute poverty, violence
and alcoholism. She was raped and abused by her stepfather and from that
terrible situation she became pregnant with me at 14 years old.
My biological
grandmother, complicit in this situation, did the impossible for my birthmother to abort me. I believe that if RU486 -- the abortion pill -- had existed at the time, today I am not here
telling this story. However, despite my maternal grandmother's actions, pregnancy continued and one day, my biological
grandmother offered me -- before I had yet been born -- to a woman in the neighborhood who always helped the most needy. For my biological grandmother, I
was an abomination, but not for my birthmother. For her, I was the only
person in the world whom she really loved.
That is how 22 days
after I was born I was handed over to that neighbor, who was my adoptive mother, or as we say, "heart mom," Alicia. She lived with her husband Franklin and 21-year-old son Fran. I arrived at my new home in a deplorable state with smoky, dirty
clothing, hunger and third degree burns on my genitals.
My arrival in the
neighborhood was a revolution. That day, all the neighbors joined in looking for
clothes, milk and a cradle. My new mom immediately bathed me and I, who still did not
even open my eyes, sighed with relief, as I must have felt the sense that I'd been saved.
The next day my heart
mom started the adoption proceedings and, as required, a corresponding police report.
If I had to describe
the relationship with my adoptive parents, the two words that would summarize
our life together today would be infinite love. When I arrived into their lives,
my mother was 54 years old and my father was 49. Even though they were older, they
loved me deeply and shaped me into the woman I am today, with both defects and virtues, but always with the same values, impressing upon me the importance of helping the most
defenseless and a profound respect for life.
The last time my heart
mom saw my biological mother was when I was eight months old. My birthmother came to know about me, but she was warned of the restraining order that
the adoption judge had imposed. Teresa delMilagro, embarrassed by the
situation, took a baby cap from my mother, caressed it gently and gave it back to
her. My heart mom always waited for her to return, but Teresa delMilagro never came back.
When I was eight years
old, I learned my origin and it was hard to know, but it was always clear to me
that despite the pain, I wanted to help the weakest. There were years of
internal healing and I am grateful to have gone through all that, because I know
now that the only way to heal the pain is with love, understanding and
forgiveness.
At age 28, with my
original birth certificate in hand, I decided to look for Teresa del Milagro. I needed
to close my story but above all, I wanted to tell her, "THANK YOU FOR ALLOWING ME TO LIVE
FULLY."
Disappointed, I found
out through a governmental search page of people, that my birthmother had
died at age of 25, when I was just 11 years old.
However, I found the
family that my birthmother had formed. In spite of everything, her continuous great act
of love for me made her betting for life again. I talked to them and learned that my biological mother was sadly returned to her abuser, that he attempted to traffic her sexually to other men, and, as she refused, she was admitted to a school until she was
18 years old.
I learned that she had looked for me intensely, but my biological
grandmother denied her any information and then, without hope, Teresa committed
suicide. I'm sure it was an impulse, as her family had said she was not like that, but that she was a fighter. In a moment of weakness, she took her own life. It hurts me to know that the lack of protection and abandonment of the State killed her. I know that if we'd met, I would have been a part of her healing.
My adoptive parents did not change my original names, the names which Teresa delMilagro had given me. I have a half-brother and a half-sister who she had with her partner. The surprise was that my sister is also called Karina, like me. I knew this was a sign from my birthmother that she had never forgotten me.
Although I could not meet her, I
appreciate the strong convictions she had when she was so young. According to her partner and other children, she never saw
me as a trauma from rape or an aberration, but it was always the love of a mother for all of her children, to the point that she did not differentiate which of her
children was gestated out of love or rape.
Teresa delMilagro did,
as her name says, achieve a miracle in me because she allowed me to live and she saved
me by placing me for adoption, by changing my destiny. I would not be what I am if
I had not been given to my adoptive family, the best I had.
Today my parents are
gone but their love for my life transcended theirs -- the proof of which are my sons, Manuel and Martín. They are here today because my three saviors said Yes to my
life! And now, I fight to say Yes for others who are just as deserving of love and life.
Tuesday, May 8, 2018
was not just any day in my life, but it was the day I shouted to the four
winds: ALL LIFE IS GOOD! in the Chamber of Deputies of the Nation. All the
pieces of my puzzle called "Life" were perfectly embedded. My sad
origin and my experiences over the years would serve to defend the lives of the
purest beings in the world -- unborn children, those who have no voice and cannot
defend themselves. I related my story to the legislators, then showed them the purpose of it.
"My story comes to an
end, but not before asking you: Could you dare to tell
me that your life is worth more than mine because I am the result of a rape? I hope you are clear
that the mother and child are victims of the rapist and that is why you have to
protect them. No one has the right to say that one life is worth less than the
other, much less that of the fruit of a rape, because that baby did NOT CHOOSE
HOW TO BE GESTATED. If the rapist, with luck, is sentenced to 15 years in
prison, why is the innocent baby sentenced to death? Without life there is
no freedom. Value life and defend the unprotected, sow love, sow peace, sow
life, honor life!"
I will not stop
fighting to prevent abortion from being legalized in my country. I will not stop
because I have a debt to life. Teresa fought for me and gave me an opportunity to live, and now it's my turn
to fight back to ensure that every human being is guaranteed his or her first and most
precious of rights: the right to live.
For more stories from Argentina, please read:
10 Argentine Women Conceived in Rape and Mothers From Rape Speak Up! by Rebecca Kiessling
 |
| Maria de la Paz Rodriguez Coronel Dudignac and Karina Estrella Etchpare, both from Argentina, both conceived in rape and pro-life speakers and bloggers for Salvar El 1. |
Saturday, June 16, 2018
Save The 1 Intervenes in Iowa Heartbeat Case -- Our Hearts Beat Too! By Rebecca Kiessling, with Brad and Jesi Smith
On May 4, 2018, Iowa Gov. Kim Reynolds signed the Heartbeat Bill into law which would protect unborn children who have a detectable heartbeat, except "when the abortion is medically necessary" and defines "medically necessary" as cases of rape, incest and fetal abnormality, making the abortion provider the sole arbiter of these determinations. These exceptions were surprisingly added -- allegedly because certain legislators in the House would not sign the bill without exceptions.
Save The 1 is a global pro-life organization of over 600 of us who were conceived in rape, incest or sex trafficking and mothers who became pregnant by rape, incest or sex trafficking who are either raising their children, birth mothers, miscarried, or post-abortive and mourn the loss of their children. Additionally, we have hundreds who were told by physicians to abort due to a pre-natal diagnosis, along with their children who were targeted by doctors. We specialize in defending all of the so-called “hard cases” in the abortion debate through sharing our personal stories, and we additionally act as a support network. The deadly discrimination contained in the exceptions within the Iowa Heartbeat Law hurts us -- because our hearts beat too!I testified a year earlier on a life-at-conception bill. We are grateful to the Iowa Coalition for Life -- a coalition of the major pro-life organizations in Iowa who brought us in to testify and who vigorously opposed the exceptions.
We discussed what our response as an organization should be. We could cooperate in order that we may have a "seat at the table" and be invited back to Iowa to speak and to testify again on a future bill. But to what end? To have another viral video which ultimately is rendered ineffective in gaining any protection for us and our children? Do we want to be popular, or protected?
Others would like for us to roll over and play dead. Sometimes it feels like the game is fixed -- like this is the Harlem Globetrotters and we are merely the Washington Generals. We aren't supposed to cry foul when our players are thrown to the ground. Politically, many are quite used to us being the sacrificial lamb, and we are supposed to somehow be understanding and cooperative as we are lead to slaughter.
We are told, "It's nothing against you personally," but we are persons, the attack on our very right to life could not possibly be more personal, and of course we will take it personally!
If it were just us who have already been born and merely a matter of our feelings being hurt, perhaps we could somehow "let it go," but there are others who are yet at risk, who are being targeted for killing, who are just as deserving of protection as any of us, and so, we are fighting back.
Planned Parenthood of the Heartland recently filed a lawsuit against the state of Iowa, and we are now filing a motion to intervene as necessary third party intervenors "of right" since the current Plaintiff, Planned Parenthood, clearly will not argue on behalf of our interests. The exceptions within the Iowa Fetal Heartbeat law violate our fundamental right to life, depriving us of due process and equal protection under both the Iowa and U.S. constitutions. Thankfully, there is a severability clause in the legislation so that the offending provisions can be severed and the remainder of the law upheld. We have three attorneys representing Save The 1: Erin Mersino -- a pro-life constitutional law attorney from Michigan with the Great Lakes Justice Center, Eric Borseth -- an attorney from Iowa and a board member of Personhood Iowa, and myself.
As a pro-life attorney, this is why I went to law school. While attending Wayne State law school, I wrote what has been for decades the #1-ranked philosophical abortion essay, "The Right of the Unborn Child Not to be Unjustly Killed -- a philosophy of rights approach." If I can't defend my own right to life in court, then what is the point of being a pro-life attorney? What is the point of being alive? Just to be selfish and live my life without caring about others who are yet at risk? I was protected by Michigan law when my birth mother sought to kill me at two illegal abortions. As a rape victim, she was not offered any help or hope -- just abortion. My life was spared for a purpose, and for such a time as this I will use my life, my talents, my expertise and law degree to save others.
The discriminatory language in the Iowa Heartbeat law defines "medically necessary" as cases in which:
a. The pregnancy which is the result of a rape which is reported within forty-five days of the incident to a law enforcement agency or to a public or private health agency which may include a family physician.
b. The pregnancy is the result of incest which is reported within one hundred forty days of the incident to a law enforcement agency or to a public or private health agency which may include a family physician.
c. Any spontaneous abortion, commonly known as a miscarriage, if not all of the products of conception are expelled.
d. The attending physician certifies that the fetus has a fetal abnormality that in the physician’s reasonable medical judgment is incompatible with life.
Interestingly, among the bill’s
definitions, rape, incest, fetal abnormality and incompatible with life are not
included or even cross-referenced with other sections of the Iowa code, as
other definitions are cross-referenced. So the abortion providers get to decide what they deem to qualify as rape, incest and incompatible with life.
The rape, incest and fetal abnormality exceptions are based upon a fabrication that aborting these unborn children is “medically necessary.” Not one witness testified in the Senate hearing as to such a medical necessity. This language was added to appease state representatives in the House who said they would not approve the bill without language that excludes these children from protection. In other words, the legislative intent was that they believed it was politically necessary – not medically necessary, if they were being honest. The language not only excludes innocent children from protection, doing so under a faulty premise, but really was intended merely to protect certain politicians and nothing to do with protecting pregnant mothers.
The rape, incest and fetal abnormality exceptions are based upon a fabrication that aborting these unborn children is “medically necessary.” Not one witness testified in the Senate hearing as to such a medical necessity. This language was added to appease state representatives in the House who said they would not approve the bill without language that excludes these children from protection. In other words, the legislative intent was that they believed it was politically necessary – not medically necessary, if they were being honest. The language not only excludes innocent children from protection, doing so under a faulty premise, but really was intended merely to protect certain politicians and nothing to do with protecting pregnant mothers.
The abortion physician is given the
power to decide whether the unborn child has a fetal abnormality and whether
the living unborn child with a detectable heartbeat is somehow “incompatible
with life.” These preborn children are
actually disabled children, and as such, should be protected under the
Americans With Disabilities Act.
Additionally, and equally as
troubling, the report of the rape and/or incest merely needs to be made to the
“public or private health agency” – in other words, to the abortion clinic. So the abortion clinic becomes the sole
arbiter of whether a woman was raped and whether her child is to suffer the
death penalty for the alleged crimes of his or her biological father, with no
guidelines provided within the legislation.
This clearly lacks due process and fails to provide equal protection.
The third prong of the exceptions doesn't even make sense at all, because the law only applies when there is a fetal heartbeat. So how could this possibly be a spontaneous abortion situation when there's a beating heart? In so many respects, the exception provisions are extremely poorly written law.
The targeting of our people groups for
exclusion of protection, and in fact, for state-approved killing is clearly
discriminatory. The sting of this discrimination
not only affects every unborn child who is deemed to fit into these legislative
categories of rape, incest or fetal abnormality, but is lifelong – affecting
every person born who was conceived in rape or given a challenging pre-natal
diagnosis by a physician. Additionally,
it causes anguish to the mothers who became pregnant by rape or who were told
by doctors to abort. They grieve at how
their children are so quickly devalued by politicians and within the law.
Permitting abortion for rape, incest and fetal
abnormalities sends a message to our people groups that our lives are worth less
than anyone else’s. Imagine having an exception in cases of Asian babies,
Jewish babies, or left-handed babies. The message sent is that these
people are not worthy of living and did not deserve to be protected like
everyone else. There would be an international outcry if such discrimination against these other people groups were even proposed. Yet, it is the same for us, and we feel the sting of
such hatred against or apathy toward our lives.
The rape survivor mothers and those told by doctors to abort grieve how their children are systematically targeted and devalued. The rape victim mothers are not believed they were raped because they didn’t abort and because they actually love their children.
The rape survivor mothers and those told by doctors to abort grieve how their children are systematically targeted and devalued. The rape victim mothers are not believed they were raped because they didn’t abort and because they actually love their children.
We appreciate concern for pregnant rape victims, but
they are four times more likely to die within the next year after an abortion,
as opposed to giving birth. In Dr. David Reardon’s book, Victims andVictors: Speaking Out About Their Pregnancies, Abortions and Children ResultingFrom Sexual Assault, he cites the research done on the subject. After an
abortion, rape victims have higher rates of murder, suicide, drug overdose,
etc.. Rapists, child molesters and sex traffickers love abortion, which
destroys the evidence and enables them to continue perpetrating. Sexual
predators depend upon abortion clinics because the abortion protects them – not
the pregnant rape victim.
Tragically, it is at times a girl’s own mother who has
been either trafficking her or leaving her unprotected. It is always the
baby who exposes the rape, who delivers the pregnant mother out of the abusive situation,
protecting her and bringing her healing. If the legislators truly care about rape victims, then they must protect her from the rapist and
from the abortion, and not the baby! Her
baby is not the enemy, despite what the legislated exceptions suggest.
In regards to a diagnosis of “incompatible with life”
– it is impossible to be such when you are still living. Physicians who
peddle abortion are truly the ones with fatal heart defects, often failing to
treat the children of parents who refused to abort. A eugenics mentality
becomes pervasive when you allow abortion. For parents who are told by doctors to abort, the
pressure is tremendous – and not just during the pregnancy, but after the child
is born when doctors often refuse to treat their disabled child.
The purpose of the Americans with Disabilities Act is to guaranty
that people with disabilities have the same rights and opportunities as
everyone else. The ADA gives civil rights protections to individuals with
disabilities similar to those provided to individuals on the basis of race,
color, sex, national origin, age, and religion. Accordingly, as a suspect class, the offending
provisions against disabled children within the Iowa Heartbeat Bill should be
subject to strict scrutiny.
The Iowa Heartbeat bill’s bewildering
exceptions legislate extreme and inexplicable hatred toward disabled children
in the womb, as well as those conceived in rape or incest. Prenatal testing -- instead of being used to
treat and heal -- is used for search and destroy missions for those with medically
identifiable disabilities. Iowa
legislators have now authorized doctors to commit genocide against an entire
people group, decreasing their voices and representation within society.
This deliberate targeting and killing
of our people groups also results in doubt being cast upon rape victims for not
aborting “like a true rape victim would”, and the “blaming” of parents for not
aborting their disabled children who are seen within much of the medical
community as a burden on the health care system – much like the Nazi regime
which employed the medical designation of “lebensunwertes leben” (“life
unworthy of life”), referring to the disabled as “useless eaters.”
Using terminology such as “fetal
abnormality” or “incompatible with life“ as classifications for children with
disability is deceiving and treacherous treatment from a government which claims its citizens have equal protection under the law. Born children and adults are treated by some physicians
as “incompatible with life,” and doctors and hospitals point to “medical futility
policies” in order to justify discrimination against these disabled
individuals. This deadly eugenics is
alive and well today in the United States, and now codified in Iowa by the exceptions within this new
law.
Physicians’ predictions are not
medical certainty and denying the right to life and equal protection to entire
groups of disabled children based on an abortion doctor’s best guess is not
medical science. Bias and arrogance of
those who wish to promote biological superiority through the destruction of
disabled children in the womb brings new meaning to the words biological
warfare.
A child’s God-given right to life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness should never be denied because of his or her disability or circumstances of conception. His or her value is not based on what he or she is able to do or the behavior of his or her parents; rather, it is based on his or her humanity and that the child has been endowed by his or her Creator with these inalienable rights.
A child’s God-given right to life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness should never be denied because of his or her disability or circumstances of conception. His or her value is not based on what he or she is able to do or the behavior of his or her parents; rather, it is based on his or her humanity and that the child has been endowed by his or her Creator with these inalienable rights.
We’ve had parents within our
organization who refused to abort and were told by doctors:
“The only further testing you will receive is
an autopsy,”
“If your child is born not breathing,
we won’t resuscitate,” and
“Your child has already outlived her
life expectancy.”
Some parents have endured others looking
at their disabled child in their arms and asking, “Didn’t you get any pre-natal
testing?”
The clear expectation and even
obligation is to abort. The Iowa
legislature has now codified this deadly discrimination.
Since the government has not done its
duty to protect disabled children in the womb, they are also targeted after
leaving the womb. Many children have
medical treatments withheld and denied leading to their death simply because
they have a disability.
Children conceived in rape are often
called dehumanizing names such as:
“Demon seed,” “evil seed,” “horrible
reminder,” “rapist’s child” (an insult to every rape victim mother who knows
that this is her child,) “monster’s child,” “demon spawn,” “Satan’s child,”
“tainting the gene pool,” and on and on. The exceptions within the Iowa Fetal Heartbeat law suggest there is something inherently different about the child conceived in rape that they would be unworthy of protection. To legislate that aborting us is "medically necessary" further suggests that we are somehow medically harming our mothers -- furthering the notion that we are somehow the ones raping our mothers. But we are entirely innocent and we plead our innocence.
While some states like Michigan,
Georgia and Nebraska do not have a single rape exception within the law, there
are other jurisdictions where the child conceived in rape is singled-out and
systematically targeted for extermination.
This lack of equal protection undeniably feeds into the discrimination
within the culture. It codifies hatred,
fear and prejudice against an innocent child.
A civilized nation must protect the
lives of the innocent and disabled child, not target them for extermination and
codify hatred. It is barbaric to punish
an innocent child for someone else’s crime.
The legislature should focus on punishing rapists, not babies and the
Court must focus on protecting lives of the innocent and not the careers of
politicians or interests of the abortion industry. More violence does not bring healing, but
only more pain, more destruction and a less empathetic society.
Given that there was no testimony
before the Iowa legislature from physicians or expert witnesses to suggest that
denying equal protection and due process for our people groups is somehow a
“medical necessity,” it is impossible for the state to claim even a rational
basis for the violation of the most fundamental right. For the disabled unborn child, the state
cannot claim any sort of governmental interest in codifying eugenics, and
certainly not a compelling governmental interest. Assuming medical necessity based upon faulty
assumptions is deadly, and must not stand as a basis for violating the right to
life and equal protection of the laws.
As far as we know, this is the first time in the U.S. and even globally that a group of people like us has defended our own right to life in court. To every legislator nationwide who wants to target our people group within pro-life legislation: we are united, we have a voice, and we will fight back!
BIO: Rebecca Kiessling, conceived in rape, is a pro-life attorney, international pro-life
speaker, wife and mother of 5. She is the president and founder of Save The 1. Brad and Jesi Smith, Save The 1 pro-life speakers contributed. Their youngest daughter, Faith, was born with Trisomy 18. They were behind the Good Faith Medical Act passed in Michigan -- the first of its kind in the nation.
Friday, May 4, 2018
Iowa Heartbeat Bill: The Exceptions Speak for Themselves by Sarah St. Onge
Iowa Heartbeat Bill: The Exceptions Speak for Themselves, by Sarah St. Onge
The Iowa Heartbeat Bill was passed with exceptions for rape and serious fetal anomaly.
If we can ignore the glaring discrimination, the passage of Iowa’s heartbeat bill was a watershed moment in pro-life advocacy. While the bill still hasn’t been signed into law, it sent a strong message out to the rest of the country: we can pass restrictive pro-life legislation in a state which is not necessarily conservative. It would seem to be a shining achievement for the pro-life movement.
But with the exceptions, the bill sent another message: A message of exclusion for those conceived in rape or who have been diagnosed with a serious birth defect, and there have been some who’ve spoken out against that message.
Viewing the very personal video, seeing the visceral reaction the news has provoked in her, leaves the watcher feeling a bit less certain about whether the Iowa bill is as great as it seems.
We move on to a statement from Rebecca Kiessling who, with tears in her eyes and audible distress in her voice, explains the emotional toll these
exceptions take on her.
Watch HERE.
As a strong and outspoken representative of those conceived in rape, her words add an element of intimacy to the proceedings which highlight the fact we’re speaking of real people: children conceived during a sexual assault aren’t just a philosophical concept -- they’re our friends, neighbors, and loved ones. They deserve equal protection under the law -- the same protections you or I deserve.
 |
| Sarah St. Onge with Rebecca Kiessling and Darlene Pawlik |
Watch HERE.
As a strong and outspoken representative of those conceived in rape, her words add an element of intimacy to the proceedings which highlight the fact we’re speaking of real people: children conceived during a sexual assault aren’t just a philosophical concept -- they’re our friends, neighbors, and loved ones. They deserve equal protection under the law -- the same protections you or I deserve.
Last, we hear from me, Sarah St. Onge.
Watch HERE.
My daughter was diagnosed with a lethal birth defect before birth. Exceptionally frustrated with the liberties lawmakers take in excluding children like mine from protection, I want to know why we continue to place these exceptions into laws we are writing. Why not leave the picking and choosing to the pro-choice side? Why ruin our reputation with an inconsistent message regarding the value of an unborn child?
Watch HERE.
My daughter was diagnosed with a lethal birth defect before birth. Exceptionally frustrated with the liberties lawmakers take in excluding children like mine from protection, I want to know why we continue to place these exceptions into laws we are writing. Why not leave the picking and choosing to the pro-choice side? Why ruin our reputation with an inconsistent message regarding the value of an unborn child?
With the wealth of information available about the life of the unborn, it’s foolish for us to continue on the discriminatory path we are headed down. Rarely, if ever, do these exceptions get removed once they’re in place. We are sentencing valuable, wanted, and fragile innocents to death. There is no excuse for this -- the time for political maneuvering should come when we meet those who oppose us on the floor, and not before we've even put an offer on the table.
We beg you to continue to help us fight for our rights, and the rights of our children, to have equal protection under the law, like all other American citizens.
BIO: Sarah St. Onge is a mother and pro-life blogger for Save The 1. She blogs on faith, grief, loss, and pro-life issues pertaining to continuing a pregnancy after a lethal anomaly has been diagnosed, at www.shebringsjoy.com.
BIO: Sarah St. Onge is a mother and pro-life blogger for Save The 1. She blogs on faith, grief, loss, and pro-life issues pertaining to continuing a pregnancy after a lethal anomaly has been diagnosed, at www.shebringsjoy.com.
Thursday, May 3, 2018
Pregnant by Rape, I Threw the Abortion Pills to the Floor, by Genesis James
I love storms -- seeing the dark clouds, watching the storms roll in, and dancing in the rain. I love to see the lightning and hear the thunder roar, shaking the Earth. But this was a storm that I had no opportunity to anticipate. . . .
About four years ago, I was studying Christian Leadership to be a chaplain at Barclay College and about ready to get married. I was on my way to work to give a therapeutic massage. Little did I know it was going to change my life forever. During that appointment, I was raped by my client.
I initially stayed silent about it because I was convinced no one would believe me. Also, I had so much going for me at the time and I thought if I told anyone, it would instantly jeopardize all of my future. So, I decided to just keep my mouth shut and pretend that it did not happen.
Exactly ten days later, I found out I was pregnant. As if living with the rape was not hard enough for me, how in the world could I deal with this? I already had three girls and I was sure I could never be able to handle four -- especially on my own, since I was certain my boyfriend would leave me.
I am a girl who has always been so strongly outspoken against abortion. There was never ever a reason to have one in my mind, but boy does your mind change when you are faced with this.
I had a handful of pills in my hand which someone told me would naturally abort the baby. I had them inches from my mouth when I threw them on the floor. What if I took these pills and instead of aborting my baby. it would cause her to have a birth defect and I would end up causing her severe problems in her life? This thought caused me to realize I could not cause harm to my baby in any way. In tears, I decided not to abort her. Little did I know, that was the start of the hardest and yet most beautiful journey I would ever take.
Finally I was able talk to David, my boyfriend, on December 10th and told him what had happened. But I was afraid he'd make me quit my job, so I told him I was raped at a club I went to a week prior. Even thinking of it that way made it somehow easier in my mind -- if he were drunk and making a poor decision while intoxicated, I could at least wrap my head around that as opposed to the premeditated evil. I was so afraid that if I told people the truth that I was raped while working, then I would lose what I felt God gave me as a means of income.
David was very angry and upset. He told me he needed some time to figure out what he wanted to do. Two days later, he told me that he loved me and he loved my daughters, and he was going to be there and support me through this.
Nevertheless, many days I felt very suicidal. It took everything I had not to drive the car off the bridge. And the tears came often. I knew I needed to get help, so I started going to a counselor at my church, which helped me a little bit. But it felt like she did not understand the pain I was going through. I never felt free to open up and share with her all my dark corners that I had.
At that point, I could hardly work at my job anymore without totally breaking down in tears and shaking. I found a group on Facebook with members who told me about Anchor Point which specializes in helping pregnant women, and how they might be the exact thing I needed. Their website said that they are "champions for the future of child by educating and empowering parents because no one is beyond hope," and I needed hope!
I called them up and made an appointment. I was told that there was a lady who used to volunteer with them and worked with women who had gone through similar situations. However, they said she was in a transition at the time, so they were unsure if she would come back and see me. I left and prayed hard about this because I was desperate for any ray of sunshine at the moment. Then God gave me Angel, who has lived up to her name for sure.
For once, I felt like I was heard. I held onto so much pain from past abuses that when I went through this rape, I never felt I was worthy of help because “who really cared?” I and everyone else beat me up all the time with the whys and why nots so much so that I felt like I was crazy.
But not Angel. She heard me as she listened to the pains and hurts I endured as I was growing up. She wanted to uncover all of that. I for once felt safe enough to tell someone my whole entire story of my life -- even the really dark areas which I felt would result in no one ever accepting me if I told them. She never condemned me and she never told me I was crazy, which are the things I was telling myself repeatedly.
After talking with Angel about everything, there were no more shadowy places left in my life. Satan
no longer had a foothold and I was finally free!!! Angel helped me see that I was not alone on the path that I choose and that it was normal to choose the path that I took. I no longer had to travel on this path alone because now there was light on the path and I was going to be okay. I came in weekly and met with her up until my daughter was born.
If it was not for this wonderful woman at Anchor Point, who gave of her time to meet with me, I do not know if I or my beautiful daughter would even be here now. She helped me see God’s strength and the love that He had for me. She helped me see that I was not the piece of trash which I felt I was. She helped me see that God still had a meaning and purpose for my life. I for once felt like a huge weight had been lifted. I was finally able to tell David and others about the truth in the rape because I no longer took the blame and I could deal with the truth myself.
I would like to say that all the pain and struggles were finally over and everything else was easy, but after I had my daughter, I often saw the person who had raped me in her. This made it so very hard for me. I love my daughter and she did not deserve me pushing her away. I did everything I could do to make sure she had someone around her to show her love when it was hard for me to do so.
I went back in to Anchor Point again to get some help through this, so that I could see God when I look at her. They listened to me and prayed with me. Each day I have been getting stronger. The days that I see him in her have been fewer and fewer. I now see a wonderful baby girl who God is going to bless and use for His glory! God has shown me a vision of being able to share my story and help other women who have or are going through the same hurt and pain as I have.
I mentioned in the beginning my love for storms because, when you are going through the storms and the clouds are so dark, it makes the light just that much brighter when the rays of sun start coming through. I just thank God that He put Anchor Point and Angel in my path to be a ray of light, to help me find God’s strength which has kept going each and every day.
My daughter is three and a half years old now. I gave her a name which means the light of Christ, and she truly is. I am a year out now to getting my masters degree in Spiritual Formation, and I am celebrating my 3rd year of owning my own massage clinic, so I can still use the gifts God has given me. My God is so good!
BIO: "Genesis James" is a mother of four children, a professional masseuse and now a pro-life blogger for Save The 1. She is using a pseudonym to protect her family.
About four years ago, I was studying Christian Leadership to be a chaplain at Barclay College and about ready to get married. I was on my way to work to give a therapeutic massage. Little did I know it was going to change my life forever. During that appointment, I was raped by my client.
I initially stayed silent about it because I was convinced no one would believe me. Also, I had so much going for me at the time and I thought if I told anyone, it would instantly jeopardize all of my future. So, I decided to just keep my mouth shut and pretend that it did not happen.
Exactly ten days later, I found out I was pregnant. As if living with the rape was not hard enough for me, how in the world could I deal with this? I already had three girls and I was sure I could never be able to handle four -- especially on my own, since I was certain my boyfriend would leave me.
I am a girl who has always been so strongly outspoken against abortion. There was never ever a reason to have one in my mind, but boy does your mind change when you are faced with this.
I had a handful of pills in my hand which someone told me would naturally abort the baby. I had them inches from my mouth when I threw them on the floor. What if I took these pills and instead of aborting my baby. it would cause her to have a birth defect and I would end up causing her severe problems in her life? This thought caused me to realize I could not cause harm to my baby in any way. In tears, I decided not to abort her. Little did I know, that was the start of the hardest and yet most beautiful journey I would ever take.
Finally I was able talk to David, my boyfriend, on December 10th and told him what had happened. But I was afraid he'd make me quit my job, so I told him I was raped at a club I went to a week prior. Even thinking of it that way made it somehow easier in my mind -- if he were drunk and making a poor decision while intoxicated, I could at least wrap my head around that as opposed to the premeditated evil. I was so afraid that if I told people the truth that I was raped while working, then I would lose what I felt God gave me as a means of income.
David was very angry and upset. He told me he needed some time to figure out what he wanted to do. Two days later, he told me that he loved me and he loved my daughters, and he was going to be there and support me through this.
Nevertheless, many days I felt very suicidal. It took everything I had not to drive the car off the bridge. And the tears came often. I knew I needed to get help, so I started going to a counselor at my church, which helped me a little bit. But it felt like she did not understand the pain I was going through. I never felt free to open up and share with her all my dark corners that I had.
At that point, I could hardly work at my job anymore without totally breaking down in tears and shaking. I found a group on Facebook with members who told me about Anchor Point which specializes in helping pregnant women, and how they might be the exact thing I needed. Their website said that they are "champions for the future of child by educating and empowering parents because no one is beyond hope," and I needed hope!
I called them up and made an appointment. I was told that there was a lady who used to volunteer with them and worked with women who had gone through similar situations. However, they said she was in a transition at the time, so they were unsure if she would come back and see me. I left and prayed hard about this because I was desperate for any ray of sunshine at the moment. Then God gave me Angel, who has lived up to her name for sure.
For once, I felt like I was heard. I held onto so much pain from past abuses that when I went through this rape, I never felt I was worthy of help because “who really cared?” I and everyone else beat me up all the time with the whys and why nots so much so that I felt like I was crazy.
But not Angel. She heard me as she listened to the pains and hurts I endured as I was growing up. She wanted to uncover all of that. I for once felt safe enough to tell someone my whole entire story of my life -- even the really dark areas which I felt would result in no one ever accepting me if I told them. She never condemned me and she never told me I was crazy, which are the things I was telling myself repeatedly.
After talking with Angel about everything, there were no more shadowy places left in my life. Satan
If it was not for this wonderful woman at Anchor Point, who gave of her time to meet with me, I do not know if I or my beautiful daughter would even be here now. She helped me see God’s strength and the love that He had for me. She helped me see that I was not the piece of trash which I felt I was. She helped me see that God still had a meaning and purpose for my life. I for once felt like a huge weight had been lifted. I was finally able to tell David and others about the truth in the rape because I no longer took the blame and I could deal with the truth myself.
I would like to say that all the pain and struggles were finally over and everything else was easy, but after I had my daughter, I often saw the person who had raped me in her. This made it so very hard for me. I love my daughter and she did not deserve me pushing her away. I did everything I could do to make sure she had someone around her to show her love when it was hard for me to do so.
I went back in to Anchor Point again to get some help through this, so that I could see God when I look at her. They listened to me and prayed with me. Each day I have been getting stronger. The days that I see him in her have been fewer and fewer. I now see a wonderful baby girl who God is going to bless and use for His glory! God has shown me a vision of being able to share my story and help other women who have or are going through the same hurt and pain as I have.I mentioned in the beginning my love for storms because, when you are going through the storms and the clouds are so dark, it makes the light just that much brighter when the rays of sun start coming through. I just thank God that He put Anchor Point and Angel in my path to be a ray of light, to help me find God’s strength which has kept going each and every day.
My daughter is three and a half years old now. I gave her a name which means the light of Christ, and she truly is. I am a year out now to getting my masters degree in Spiritual Formation, and I am celebrating my 3rd year of owning my own massage clinic, so I can still use the gifts God has given me. My God is so good!
BIO: "Genesis James" is a mother of four children, a professional masseuse and now a pro-life blogger for Save The 1. She is using a pseudonym to protect her family.
Wednesday, April 25, 2018
She's My Shining Light Out of The Most Awful Situation, by "Malia"
It was the start of my junior year. I was a normal 16 year old teenager. Over the summer, my parents renewed their vows which was like a second wedding for them. I enjoyed going to the lake where my uncle lived. I did things with my friends, enjoyed my close-knit family, and was looking forward to starting another school year. Dating wasn't an interest for me since I was so focused on friends, family and studies. All of that changed when I was targeted and raped by a convicted sex offender.
In October 2016, I was spending the night at a house behind me. We've known this family for about 8 years. My friend was a year older than me. Her older sister Paige, age 25, offered to take us for a ride and meet up with her family. As soon as we got to her family's house, there were a couple of older men there, and I was very uncomfortable -- pleading with her three times for her to take us home.
I'd prefer not to go into details of that horrific night, but it resulted in this 32 year old man, Shane R. Rodgers, raping me. After that, I was never the same. My parents knew something was wrong. I didn't want to go school. I didn't want to get out of bed or go anywhere. I couldn't sleep without my light on and I never wanted to be alone. Suffering with fear and shame, I kept it all in.
I knew pregnancy was a possibility, but was relieved when I continued to have a regular cycle. However, about six months after the rape, I began to feel distinct movement in my abdomen. So a friend and I went to the dollar store and got a pregnancy test, which showed up positive. I was a virgin when I was raped and never had relations since, so I knew right away what this meant. I went to the 25 year old neighbor who had driven me to the house that night, and told her I was pregnant. Paige took me to a clinic which confirmed my pregnancy.
That night, I told my mom, but Paige had convinced me to say it was a stranger, because she was afraid of getting into trouble herself. I was naive and didn't know she had set me up all along -- basically, trafficking me to her cousin (with whom she was having sex) who was a convicted child molester who'd already gone to prison with a plea for attempting to rape an 11 year old girl. I thought she was trying to protect me, while all along I was just a simple pawn in her sick, twisted game.
My mom was shocked, but showed me love and support. We told my dad when he got home from work the next morning, and I broke down and ended up telling him everything. My dad was of course furious, and we called the police. The rapist was arrested that same evening, and I'm glad to say, he's been in jail ever since.
In fact, he was just sentenced by Judge Margaret Noe in Lenawee County with a plea deal for 3rd degree criminal sexual conduct, and will be serving out the 6 year remainder of his prior sentence, plus another 5 to 10 years for raping me. I never thought I'd share my difficult story publicly, but after seeing comments under the news coverage of his sentencing, I feel I need to speak up and not be silent any longer. This man admitted in court as to what he did to me -- he admitted it wasn't consensual and that I was lured to the home by my neighbor. I went through hell and nobody but myself will ever understand. When I realized that people were defending a man who could do something so awful and continue on without a care, I was so hurt, but now I have found my voice.
No girl ever deserves to be raped. It is never her fault. Clearly this man has been a predator for a long time, and I'm only now learning that Paige not only trafficked me, but many other girls as well.
As far as my daughter, she is everything to me, and she is the one who is getting me through the trauma of the rape. I've been homeschooling for my senior year. I won't be going to prom. I won't be graduating with all of my peers. We moved away because I was tormented by my neighbors after going to the police. My whole life has changed, yet, my child is not to blame -- just like Judge Noe pointed out in Court at his sentencing when she said, "The child bears none of the ugliness of what he did." She showed a lot of compassion for me and my daughter, and I was really touched when I heard what all this good judge had to say.
My baby girl is my hero. If it hadn't been for her, this child molester would still be free raping other
I was horrified last fall when I saw that a judge in Sanilac County, Michigan gave joint legal custody and parenting time to another two-time convicted child molester, and I was immediately afraid a judge could do the same once my rapist gets out of prison. His family was already trying to send me friend requests on social media, and I needed to be sure my child would forever be safe from all of them.
So my mom contacted the attorney who had represented the mother in Sanilac County and ultimately got her and her child protected from the rapist. Rebecca Kiessling agreed to handle my case for free as well, and explained the law that was passed in the summer of 2016 which was intended to protect women like me who become pregnant by rape.
Fortunately, at his sentencing in Lenawee County, Shane Rodgers signed the two key court papers we needed him to sign -- the judgment of paternity and the order revoking paternity (as required by the Michigan Rape Survivor Child Custody Act.) However, I just found out that Judge Theresa Brennan in Livingston County won't just sign the consent order, but is requiring my attorney to file a motion on it. I'm so scared. I thought it would be simple if he was agreeing to the termination of his parental rights. I just want this part over with so I can have peace of mind that whatever happens in the future -- whether it's him getting out of prison, with regards to his family, or if something were to happen to me, then I could know my child will be safe and protected by the courts.
Some people think I made the wrong decision in keeping my daughter. Some even tried to convince me to give her up for adoption. It was a tough decision for a teenager to make, but my daughter has been the shining light that came out of the most awful situation.
When I first held my child in my arms, nothing could ever compare to that moment. I knew that she was innocent in all of this. I'll never forget that she helped me get justice for the both of us.
I'm still healing to this day, I still have trouble coping with what happened to me, and I know it will be with me for the rest of my life, as well as my daughter's. I never want someone to go through what I went through, and I want to encourage anyone who has: yes, it may be hard, but please don't be afraid to ask for help or speak out. Don't be ashamed of what happened to you as I was. You had no control. And I promise, one day, it will get better.
I'm still healing to this day, I still have trouble coping with what happened to me, and I know it will be with me for the rest of my life, as well as my daughter's. I never want someone to go through what I went through, and I want to encourage anyone who has: yes, it may be hard, but please don't be afraid to ask for help or speak out. Don't be ashamed of what happened to you as I was. You had no control. And I promise, one day, it will get better.
I really want to thank the Michigan legislators who passed that law so the rapist won't have any part of my child. If you ever wonder what kind of difference you can make, you are making a real difference in my life and the life of my beautiful daughter!
BIO: "Malia" is a 17 year old homeschool student about to graduate and is the mother of one. She's now a pro-life blogger for Save The 1, and wants to help other rape survivors.
Tuesday, April 24, 2018
Impregnated As I Was Passed Out, Raped and Filmed by My Husband, I Now Fight For My Son, by "Sarah"
Sometimes I feel like I am the person who fell between the cracks -- the lost and forgotten. I struggle in silence. I'm sharing my story here because I want to raise awareness regarding spousal rape and how serious it is. Laws have been passed here in Florida and elsewhere to terminate the parental rights of rapists -- without a marital exception. However, the judge in my particular case acknowledged the rape, but justified giving him visitation, saying, "Well, he didn't hurt the child."
It not just the courts who lack compassion either. When I tell someone that I was raped, they'll say, "Oh, that's terrible." But when I say it was by my husband, their tone quickly changes, as if it's not as serious of an offense. From older generations, I'll hear things like, "Oh, I didn't know it's possible that your husband could rape you." It makes me realize the misconceptions people have. I want people to know that it's at least as bad as being raped by a stranger. This was very personal -- someone I chose and trusted, and the ultimate betrayal.
My husband and I had separated for a few months because my ex-husband was worried about him being around our daughter and there were a lot of complicated issues which led to the separation. On weekends that my ex-husband had our daughter, I did see my husband a few times. When I found out I was pregnant, I kind of thought the timing was off, and maybe I was further than the doctor was calculating, but I didn't really give it a lot of thought. Not wanting my child to be raised with divorced parents, we got back together and rented a house.
About four or five months into my pregnancy, I was using my husband's computer, and saw a file labelled "star-porn." My curiosity was definitely piqued, wondering what my husband was up to. I clicked on it, and my mind could barely comprehend what I was seeing. I was in a state of shock and absolutely mortified by the images on the screen. Despite what felt like having an out-of-body experience, I somehow had the clarity of mind to make a copy, as my entire being was shaking in terror.
In the three different videos, which were filmed on my husband's mobile phone, it was clear that I was either completely unconscious, or semi-conscious in one of them as I uttered the word "rape," and that my husband was clearly raping me. To my horror, he used household objects to assault me (an iPhone and a brush).
As I viewed these unimaginable scenes, I felt a sense of humiliation that I've never felt before. My heart was racing and I was in a cold sweat. The videos had the dates they were filmed. When I calculated the doctor's estimated date of conception, it coincided with the date of the videos, and that's when I realized that my child was conceived in rape.
I sent him a text message saying, "You raped me." In a panic, he came rushing home from work, knowing I'd discovered the videos. He actually had the audacity to tell me I was nosy. I asked him why he did it, and he said he was angry with me, but that he couldn't remember why.
He told me that if I turned in the video. the police would have to see me like that, and lots of people would see me like that. Because he was my husband, he said, "No one will believe you," and warned me, "You know how vindictive I can be. I will fight for custody." Scared, humiliated, and confused, I remained silent.
On top of that, I was a stay-at-home mom with a daughter from a prior marriage, along with being pregnant. It wasn't like I could go job hunting with a baby showing. Who would want to hire me? I was incredibly vulnerable with nowhere to go, so I stayed in the home we had just moved into. I'd hope he would have some remorse and leave me alone.
He told me that if I turned in the video. the police would have to see me like that, and lots of people would see me like that. Because he was my husband, he said, "No one will believe you," and warned me, "You know how vindictive I can be. I will fight for custody." Scared, humiliated, and confused, I remained silent.
On top of that, I was a stay-at-home mom with a daughter from a prior marriage, along with being pregnant. It wasn't like I could go job hunting with a baby showing. Who would want to hire me? I was incredibly vulnerable with nowhere to go, so I stayed in the home we had just moved into. I'd hope he would have some remorse and leave me alone.
Things just got worse. I would wake up to him masturbating over my face. I could no longer sleep out of fear -- fear he would rape me, film me or otherwise violate me. He knew that I was terrified, and started threatening to kill me. He would make comments like, "You never know when you might not wake up."
When my son was born, all I felt was love. He was amazing. I'd had an abortion when I was younger, and suffered greatly from it, so I felt like my son was a second chance. It never crossed my mind that my son is the child of my rapist. He's my child, and he didn't do anything wrong.
My husband had no interest in my son. If someone was watching, he'd act like he's superdad. At times, he was even sadistic, putting hot sauce in the baby's food to laugh at his reaction, or putting a bottle of alcohol under the baby's nose. To this day, my son won't eat anything red because he's afraid it will be hot.
After the baby was born, My husband's disdain for me seemed to grow, since he resented the attention I gave to the children, and the bond I had with them. He also resented my family.
He also did a lot of little things that to most people wouldn't make much sense. He threatened to kill himself all the time. On several occasions, he would take my son for a bike ride to lull him to sleep, but then wouldn't come home until one in the morning, not answering his phone the whole time. I was terrified he would commit a murder-suicide. I always tried not to leave my son alone with him.
The abuse toward me went on, and I began getting counseling. I was diagnosed as suffering from PTSD. My therapist said I needed to get out of there, regardless of the financial devastation. By this time, my son was two years old. My father helped me to move out with my daughter and son.
With courage and counseling, on the day I was planning to leave, I went to the police with the video evidence of the rapes on my external hard drive. Initially, the police detective told me I didn't have a case. Feeling defeated, I returned home, but the next day, I went back to the police station and demanded to see her superior, and I was told that they would take my case.
I returned home to load up my vehicle, but somehow, my husband must have known I was planning to leave and he came home from work. He tried to get me into the garage with him, which is where he kept his gun. I called my father, who was right down street, and he left.
The detective who was hostile toward me was kept on the case. She actually said to me, "Maybe you're into that sort of thing." What kind of a woman would be "into" having objects brutally forced into her?! Then the detective interviewed him, and the report she issued was extremely biased.
However, it still went to a state attorney who explained to me that a jury wouldn't understand because he's my husband and because I didn't leave sooner. I was also told that it's very rare for juries to convict in rape cases.
Terrified for the safety of me and my children, I fled the state and went to stay with family. On Skype, my husband was waiving a gun, so I got a photo of that. But my husband had divorce papers prepared a month before I left, and I was quickly ordered to return.
With nowhere to go, I stayed at a domestic violence shelter, where they helped me to file for a restraining order, which was granted. I was hoping my battle to protect myself and my children was over, but the legal battle has gone on for over two years now.
Florida actually passed a law several years ago to terminate the parental rights of rapists, without requiring a rape conviction, and without a marital exception. However, I can't find an attorney who is willing to file a case for me to terminate his parental rights, saying I could somehow risk losing custody because of something called "the friendly parent" provision, which requires parents to facilitate a good relationship with the other parent. I don't understand the culture of attorneys in my county, and it's hard to know who to trust.
I am on the verge of homelessness. I live in an RV now. I'm still not divorced because the court won't grant it until custody is settled. I had to arrange for my daughter from a previous marriage to stay with her father during the school year while I get on my feet.
The Brevard County Family Court judge found that my husband raped me and threatened our lives with a gun. Despite that, I cannot be more than 50 miles from my rapist. I'm required by this court to find a way to be the "friendly parent" so I can "co-parent" -- all the while in fear he will kill me and/or my son to punish me for telling.
Despite a restraining order and his past criminal record, he is now a teacher at a public middle school in Florida. If the police had done their job, he'd be a registered sex offender.
To anyone who believes that being raped by your spouse isn't as bad as stranger rape, I'm here to say it's worse. This is someone who I loved enough to say "I do." Now I see that I made a horrible judgment-call. I can no longer trust myself or anyone else. Everyone is a potential predator.
BIO: "Sarah" is a mother of two, has been an active member of Save The 1's group for mothers who became pregnant by rape, and is now a blogger for Save The 1. She hopes to one day be an advocate for other rape victim mothers and their children. If you are able to assist "Sarah" on her case, please contact Rebecca Kiessling (an attorney only licensed to practice in Michigan, President of Save The 1.)
Despite a restraining order and his past criminal record, he is now a teacher at a public middle school in Florida. If the police had done their job, he'd be a registered sex offender.
To anyone who believes that being raped by your spouse isn't as bad as stranger rape, I'm here to say it's worse. This is someone who I loved enough to say "I do." Now I see that I made a horrible judgment-call. I can no longer trust myself or anyone else. Everyone is a potential predator.
BIO: "Sarah" is a mother of two, has been an active member of Save The 1's group for mothers who became pregnant by rape, and is now a blogger for Save The 1. She hopes to one day be an advocate for other rape victim mothers and their children. If you are able to assist "Sarah" on her case, please contact Rebecca Kiessling (an attorney only licensed to practice in Michigan, President of Save The 1.)
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