Showing posts with label Abortion. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Abortion. Show all posts
Saturday, May 19, 2018

More False Information from the American College of Obstetricians and Gynecologists, by Rachel Mary Guy

As I was scrolling through the Facebook page of the American Congress of Obstetrics and Gynecology I found an article done by Northwestern University.

According to a Northwestern University national survey on Teens, Technology, and Health, 84% of teens have gotten health information online. In addition to recommending teens see a Gynecologist before age 21, ACOG also has an entire patient FAQ section dedicated to questions and health concerns specific to teens.

I found it quite concerning as I looked at the flier done by ACOG also talking about the reasons why it is important for women to see a GYN before 21. Some of the topics they covered were LGBTQ, trans gender, bisexual, and "pregnancy options" (talking about abortion, adoption and parenting).  The site goes on to mention women's "options" talking about the way to keep their baby safe if they are parenting or talking about the option of adoption. ACOG mentions abortion as the first listed option when going over again the "options" for a pregnant woman. They say, "If you choose to have an abortion, it should be done early in pregnancy when there are fewer risks. If you have a medical condition, pregnancy may pose risks to your health and increase the risk of complications for the baby." There are two concerns and false information given.  First, abortion is not "safer" when it is done earlier. There are even more emotional effects on women who have abortions earlier particularly women who take RU-486 because they are the ones doing the abortion, their home is the abortion clinic and they often see their dead child. Also abortion is never necessary to "save a woman's life."

Also ACOG never mentions the side effects of abortion and their description of one claims the procedure to be "safe" yet they never explain what actually happens to the child and they never give the side affects of what truly happens to women after an abortion.

Sarah Torez wrote this Live Action article which talks about a woman's experience at an abortion clinic. This blog talks about the effects of a late term abortion on women. In Live Action's article it states, "Studies show that post-abortive women are 65 percent more likely to suffer from depression. Two studies based on medical records found that post-abortive women were six to seven times more likely to commit suicide. Other studies have linked abortion with post-traumatic stress disorder, sleep disturbances, and substance abuse." (https://www.liveaction.org/news/blogger-writes-intense-suffering-women-late-term-abortions/)

Here is the description from ACOG:

"In an abortion procedure, the embryo or fetus is removed from a woman’s uterus. If you decide to have an abortion, it should be done as early as possible. After 12 weeks, an abortion requires more steps and takes longer to perform.

What are the different types of abortion procedures?
Some abortion procedures are done by surgery. Some are done with medication. The type of abortion you have depends on your choice, your health, and how long you have been pregnant. See the FAQ Induced Abortion for detailed information about each type of abortion procedure.

When can each type of abortion be performed?
The most common type of surgical abortion is called vacuum aspiration. It can be performed up to 14 weeks of pregnancy in a health care provider’s office or clinic.

After 14 weeks of pregnancy, the abortion procedure is called a dilation and evacuation (D&E). A D&E takes longer to perform than a vacuum aspiration and it may require more than one visit. This procedure can be done in a health care provider’s office, clinic, or hospital. You usually can go home within a few hours after the procedure is completed.

In a medical abortion, certain drugs are taken to cause an abortion. For this option, a woman usually must be no more than 9 weeks pregnant.

What are the risks associated with abortion?
In general, abortion is a low-risk procedure. Risks and complications depend on how early the abortion is done and the method that is used. Fewer than 1 in 100 women have complications from an abortion performed before 14 weeks of pregnancy. For later abortions, up to 2 in 100 women have complications. In most cases, the risks from an abortion are less than the risks of giving birth to a baby. Most health care providers agree that having one abortion does not affect later pregnancies or a woman’s future health. However, the longer a woman waits to have an abortion, the more risk it carries for her.

What should I expect after having an abortion?
You usually will have a follow-up visit with your health care provider after the abortion. Be aware that you can get pregnant soon after having an abortion. You should use a birth control method to prevent pregnancy right away."

Glossary

Former abortionist explains to Live Action founder Lila Rose, "https://www.abortionprocedures.com/questions/"

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Wednesday, March 21, 2018

Decision Reversal after Rape Conception ~by Darlene Pawlik


Life long or life altering decisions should not be made while distressed.

In Case of Rape

We often hear, "What about rape," when discussing abortion. People still succumb to a confused compassion, believing that somehow, killing her baby will help a woman heal from the core violation of sexual assault.

A woman traumatized by rape is often so damaged in her psyche that she doesn't even tell anyone. It is such a deep wound that talking about it can take decades. So, too, many people do not share their abortion experience for many years. They keep it a secret, an unspoken source of pain.

So, how is it that anyone could think the combination of two traumatic and excruciatingly painful events will somehow bring anything good?

Rape Conception

At this time, this is still an experience exclusive to women. Men get raped, but they don't get pregnant. Fathers, husbands, and male friends are super important to this conversation, though. Men were created to be protectors and providers complimenting women in the roles of family, leadership, and society. Both have value and both have a voice in the discussion.

Except are the perpetrators. Forcing a woman and penetrating her, causing her to become pregnant excludes that man from the conversation. His aggression should automatically exclude him from any part of what happens next. "Rapists love abortion," says Rebecca Kiessling, president of Save The 1. They would have the evidence destroyed. The rapist should never have parental rights either. That is a whole other blog post.

No one, other than the rapist, is forcing her to carry a baby. The baby, is an innocent second victim of the hideous crime of rape. Killing her baby by abortion is no different than killing her baby after he or she is born. Rape has changed her life forever, whether or not she conceives.
I know it's legal -that doesn't make it right. Slavery was legal too. Still wrong!
Will it be difficult? Most assuredly. Can she get through it? Absolutely. And she will be victorious. She will have protected the human rights of her baby, one of the smallest and most vulnerable of society.

She needs time to process

Pregnancy changes a woman forever. No matter the outcome. She has been a mom. Most women do not know they are pregnant for around 6 weeks. Since pregnancy is about 40 weeks, she will know about 34 weeks of pregnancy. For perspective, the average woman lives to 72 years in the USA. In reality, the impact isn't how long she's pregnant, but the fact that she has a baby.

Sexual assault survivors can thrive and I know many who have, but it does take some time to process the intense emotional impact of rape. There will also be a difference between one woman to the next, if it was a simple assault of a healthy woman or a complex situation of domestic violence, continued abuses, or trafficking. Each woman needs time to work through the core violation.

How much time is completely indeterminate. She may be in a healthy, sound place one day and go into a tailspin the next. Women shouldn't be expected to make decisions related to abortion or adoption without plenty counseling from neutral parties and of time to consider the implications.

Decision Reversal

Judge Lot Moroka believes as I believe, that a woman who has been raped needs stability and time to make a decision relative to placing her child for adoption. In the case, the decision was reversed because the judge recognized the "emotional rollercoaster" of rape conception.

A living human being was created by a terrible assault, but that living human being had no part in the actual crime. She was a second victim and like many women I know, she was loved at first sight.

A child conceived by rape is still a child, developmentally no different from any other child.

Darlene Pawlik is VP of Save The 1, a speaker and blogger at theDarlingPrincess.com
 She lives in New Hampshire with her husband of nearly 28 years.
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Tuesday, January 31, 2017

I'm a 78 Year Old Birthmom From Rape, and Have Never Regretted Saving His Life, by Patricia Lawrence

I'm 78 years old and I'm telling my story now while I still have the opportunity.  I want people to know that pregnancy by rape is not the fault of the child, so why should we punish the child for something the biological father did?

My teen years were difficult.  My mom was overly permissive while my dad was nowhere to be seen at this troubled time in my life. Dad even refused to pay the child support the court had ordered. To me, this meant they didn't love me.  So I joined the U.S. Women's Army.

Eight weeks into Basic Training, I went on a double date which was a blind date.  He was
also in the military, stationed at the same base.  All I remember is that we had all driven somewhere and he gave me a drink. I passed out and have no memory of the rest of the evening.  I don't even remember how I got back to the barracks or in bed.

Two weeks later, while standing in line for inspection, I passed out. I was taken to the base infirmary where the doctor examined me and said, "Private, because of your symptoms, I would say you are pregnant."  I replied, "I can't be pregnant because I have not done anything to become pregnant!"  He then said, "Still, we need to do a test to see if you are pregnant."

I was totally devastated to learn that I was pregnant. Since I hadn't been anywhere socially, I knew right away that it had to have been that night, and my date must have drugged and raped me.  Of course, I told the doctor what had happened, the Army did conduct an investigation and contacted the rapist, but they kept me out of it and I was never informed of anything.

My commanding officer gave me 48 to call home and tell my mother what had happened and that I was pregnant.  When I called home and told my mom I was being discharged from the Army because I was pregnant, she immediately asked, "Who, what, where, why, when and how?"  I told her about the rape, and she just said that I needed to come home. It took a few weeks for all of paperwork to be completed, I was discharged from the Army, and returned home.

My mother and two sisters met me at the bus station and we got into my mother's car.  Her first words to me were: "Patricia, you will have an abortion."  It was May, 1957, I was 18 years old, and I did not know what that word meant.  She told me it meant "they would take the baby" from me. The way she stated it, I knew that she meant something was going to happen very quickly, and that she wasn't saying they were going to take the baby from me after my baby was born.  I realized this meant they would kill my baby.

I said, "I will not have an abortion because that is murder and I will not stand before God as one who committed murder."  My mom replied, "Patricia, you're just being stupid."  Both of my sisters agreed that I should have an abortion.  I felt like I was being ganged up on, but I knew I had to stand for what was right.

The relationship between my mother and I grew colder over the next couple of weeks.  One afternoon, I was asleep on the bed and awoke to my mother holding a rifle within one inch of my face, square between my eyes. I was totally afraid for my life!  I instantly pushed the gun aside, frantically saying to my mother, "What do you think you are doing?"  She said, "I am trying to frighten you so much you will miscarry the child."

At that point, I determined I would leave my mother's home. She mocked me, asking, "Where will you go, who will have you?"  I said, "Juanita, my oldest sister will help me."  But
Mom said, "She doesn't want your shame."

However, within days I went to live with my oldest sister, Juanita. Shortly after I arrived at her home, my other sister Mary came to me and said, "Patricia, hold out you hand."  When I held out my hand, she dropped about 20 pills into my hand and said, "Mom says you are to take these all at once."  I knew enough to know that taking 20 of any kind of pill was dangerous for your health and that my mother was intending to kill me. I walked into the bathroom, stood over the toilet, dropped the pills in, and flushed them away as I told my sister, "I may be dumb, but I am not stupid."

After my son was born, my mother confessed to me that the pills were medicine that was given to heart patients, and had I taken them as instructed, according to doctors, I would have had a massive heart attack.  She never apologized, but I think in her own feeble way, she was trying to tell me she was sorry.

Finally, arrangements were made for me to go to the Salvation Army Home for Unwed Mothers in St Louis, Missouri, on November 2, 1957, where I was spent the remainder of my pregnancy.  In the home, I experienced for the first time in my life unconditional love -- love from the workers there who loved all of us, and never condemned any of the nine girls in their care.

My son was born on January 11, 1958, in the early morning hours. He was a big baby, weighing in at 9 pounds 2 ounces and was 23 inches long. As he was being delivered, since it was the Salvation Army policy at the hospital within the home for birthmothers placing for adoption, my eyes were covered with a towel. They also strapped my arms down so I could not remove the towel.  They did not let me see him until two days later when I was in the presence of a social worker.  

I was told that I could hold him, but I chose not to do so because I did not want him to bond with me since he needed to bond with his adoptive mother.  For his sake and for mine as well, I knew it was best that I placed him for adoption.  Even to this day, my heart breaks as I think about that moment, looking through the nursery window, telling him "I'm so sorry my precious little boy that I have to give you up, but for your sake and mine, I have to do this, so please forgive me."  I loved that child.  I had fought for him.  I knew I had done the right thing for him. 

I wasn't a believer -- I wasn't a Christian at that time, but I knew there was a just God, and that I was doing what was right before God and that He would honor that in some way.

Giving up this son for adoption was and still is one of the hardest things I have ever had to do in my life, but I knew his life was worth everything that I had gone through.

When I saw my son, I didn't see the rapist.  I saw my child, my own flesh and blood.

Two weeks later, I went back home and I was never allowed to talk about what I had been through. I was told by my mom, "now you will never find a decent man to marry you."  However, seven months later, I met Wayne.   

Terrified my mother would be right, nevertheless, about a month into dating, I told Wayne about my son.  I knew we were falling in love and felt he had the right to know about my story.  After telling him, he took me home and I thought, "There goes another one.  No one wants used merchandise."  Two days later, Wayne called me and asked if he could come see me.  He drove me to a wonderful spot in the San Gabriel mountains, parked the car under a beautiful pine tree, turned to me and said, "Pat, I don't care where you've been or what you've done.  What's important to me is what you can be to me now and in our future."  Five days later, he proposed to me.

 We were married 36 years, 8 months and 2 days, and he loved me despite all I had been through. 

We went on to have three daughters.  I prayed to God, "Why didn't you ever give me a son to raise?"  I felt God answered me that my daughter was born on Christmas Day as a reminder to me that God knew what it was like to give up His only Son.

Years later . . . .  On May 20, 1993, we began the trip to Missouri to the hometown of my son, Bob. We had agreed to meet in the parking lot of a Wal-Mart. When Wayne and I arrived, we did not see anyone who might be my son, so we waited on a bench outside the store. In about 10 minutes, there was walking toward us a big man. He was 6'4" tall and he had his wife with him. I had described what I would be wearing so he knew how to identify me. As he approached, I felt like a piece of a puzzle had just been put in place.  We shook hands. We talked for a bit, then he asked us to follow him and his wife to their home.

That evening, Bob took my husband and me to the home of his mother for a dinner. It was
an honor to meet the wonderful woman who had mothered so well the son she got to raise. I have deep gratitude for the job she did, that I could not do. She's always been a hero to me.

I had made her an afghan as my gift to her for doing the wonderful job she had done in raising my son, her son. Although I am his birth mom, she is indeed his mother. She did all the things of a mother and did them well. In my mind she will always be his mother.

Before dinner she said, "Patricia, would you ask the blessing on our meal?" I was honored.

This time was a very special time as I got to talk to and hug my son for the first time. My heart was bursting with happiness, and I was feeling so good about having given him life, when others wanted me to abort him. 

I did give him the details of how it came about that the only thing I could do at the time, for his best interests and for mine as well, was to place him for adoption. When I told him the story, he said two words that made the wait of 35 years worth it all. He looked into my eyes and said, "THANK YOU."

 Last year, a week after his birthday, my son completely surprised me by picking me up and taking me to lunch at a restaurant I frequented in my hometown.  I introduced my son to the waitress, telling her that this is the son I placed for adoption.  My son looked intently at the waitress, pointed to me and said, "I want you to know that this is one very strong woman."  My heart was bursting with pride that I would hear him speak those words.

I hope all of you can see how God takes the ashes of our lives and He makes them into a beautiful picture which He intends it to be!

BIO:  Patricia Lawrence is a widow, mother of 3 daughters, birthmother to one son,
grandmother to 7, and great-grandmother to 6.  She resides in Las Cruces, New Mexico at this time, but will soon be moving to Peoria, Arizona to live with her daughter, as she is losing her eyesight.  Pat has been a pro-life blogger for Save The 1, and has written a book of her life story which can be read here, and her story has been made into a radio drama -- Part 1, and Part 2. Read her adoption poetry here.
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Monday, January 2, 2017

Raped, Pregnant, and Determined to Abort -- Until . . . , by Aimee Kidd

My mind was made up. I was going to have an abortion.
I had just learned not only was I pregnant, but I had been drugged and raped. I had spent the last few hours with nurses and counselors. I was given a positive pregnancy result and had a vaginal ultrasound performed where I saw my baby’s heartbeat. Still, I was in disbelief. There was no way I could wrap my head around the fact I had been raped, let alone was pregnant. I knew for a fact, I wasn’t going to keep this baby inside of me.
The counselor and nurse on hand at the pregnancy resource center gave me loads of pamphlets and information about adoption, abortion, and parenting. They gave me a picture in a frame of my little peanut with a heartbeat. They told me they were here for me if I needed anything or had any further questions. They prayed with me. Still, I left there disgusted, enraged, and with tears streaming down my face. This couldn’t be real.
I spent the next couple of hours on the internet researching abortion at six weeks gestation. I knew abortion was wrong, but I just couldn’t fathom continuing on with this pregnancy. I was hoping the abortion would be as simple as a pill at the clinic followed by some bleeding, and I’d never have to think about it again. I learned, however, not only would I have to drive out of state to take this pill, they’d send me home and I’d have to take a second pill and abort the baby at home. I read, “It’s best to not look at the blood in the toilet once you begin bleeding heavily.” Could I really force myself to take this pill and allow my body to rid myself of a baby and then simply flush it down the toilet?
Couldn’t there be another way? Couldn’t someone just knock me out and remove this baby and tell me this was all a bad dream? I was sick to my stomach and agonized over this new reality and the harsh facts of abortion.
I had to pull myself together and rush to my son’s basketball game. I sat there surrounded by my four children while my other son played in his game. I tried to hold back tears and distract myself from all of the thoughts consuming my mind. “How can I choose to love these five children and not the one inside of my womb?” I felt sick and disappointed with myself. Still, my mind was made up. Just then, my son scored the winning game point. For a brief moment, I asked myself, “What wonderful things is the baby inside of me capable of?”
I dismissed that thought and left the school gym with my kids in tow. My sister called me out of the blue as I was pulling out of the parking lot. I just began to sob. I told her to meet me at home. She did. I could barely compose myself enough to tell her the unbelievable news I had just received. I told her I had decided to make an appointment ASAP to schedule an abortion. She said she supported me.
We decided to go to my mother’s house and tell her what was going on. I was nervous the entire drive there. I knew this was going to kill her. How can I explain this to my mom? First, the devastating news: “Mom, I was raped.” Then, “And I’m pregnant . . . , BUT . . . , I’m going to have an abortion.” She had no words for a very long time. She just silently cried. I just kept repeating, “I can’t have this baby. I can’t have this baby.”
Finally, she spoke. “Aimee, let’s pray. God’s plan is bigger than ours. He loves us and forgives us. I love all of my grandchildren, even the tiny one growing inside of you. If his plan is for this . . . (sobs) . . . little precious baby to go straight to heaven . . . .” She couldn’t continue.
Seeing my mother’s face react to all of the news I just dropped on her, and listening to her speak these words, shattered me in a way I cannot explain, and I still haven’t fully recovered from this.
“Let’s just pray. God will give you peace. He will direct your path. He will give you peace with the decision you end up making. But for now, let’s just pray for guidance and peace. ” She continued with a short prayer. I hugged her and left.
The ride home was pretty quiet. I told my sister I didn’t feel any sense of peace and although the thought of abortion devastated me and made me sick, my mind was still made up. I had planned on calling a clinic the next day.
Once I was home, I composed myself enough to put all my children to bed. I said their bedtime prayers and kissed them all goodnight before quietly crying myself to sleep.
I woke up the next morning, still not feeling any sense of peace. I still felt disgusted. My mind was still made up about an abortion, although I couldn’t come to terms with it. A few minutes after awakening, my bubbly friend walked through my front door. She said something along the lines of, “Good morning. Is there coffee? Are you ready to go yet?” I forgot we had plans. She was going to help me with a couple of cleaning jobs that day. She walked into my bedroom to find me uncontrollably sobbing. I couldn’t speak. “Aimee, What is wrong?!? What happened? What is going on?,” she just kept asking.
Through hard sobs, I tried to explain: “Misti, I was raped and I’m pregnant.” She just began to cry and hug me. She didn’t speak. I continued, “I’m not keeping this baby.” I sobbed some more. She still didn’t speak. She just sat there quietly and rubbed my back while I cried for what seemed like an eternity.
Eventually, she spoke -- relief! “Aimee, I know you. I know what your children mean to you. Your whole life is those kids. This one won’t be any different. I know your mind is made up. I know my opinion doesn’t matter at this point, but as your friend and knowing you the way I do, I have to say, if you go through with this abortion, you will never be the same.” She began to cry as she rubbed my back harder and stronger. I just lay there sobbing with my head in my pillow. I cried, “Misti, I know that, but I just can’t!” She replied, “Aimee, you’ll never be the same. A huge piece of you will die along with your baby, and the thought of that breaks my heart.”
I couldn’t reply. Instead, for the first time since receiving the news, I thought, maybe I
wouldn’t have an abortion. I thought, maybe I just needed someone to tell me it is okay to have and love this baby.
We sat together quietly for quite some time. I just absorbed and digested her words and her love. I said, “Misti, you’re right.” Suddenly, I knew. I knew that the right decision and the peace that came along with it that my mother and I had prayed for the night before had just come.
I prayed for peace for the decision I was going to make. God sent me my dear friend to help me make the right decision and receive peace with the decision I made. I felt like I could breathe again. I still was in shock and disbelief, but finally I was beginning to let things resonate. I was at peace with the fact that I was going to have another baby. I was far from okay, but I knew in my heart I was going to have a baby and love him or her.
A couple of hours later, I made the call. It wasn’t the call I had planned on making to the abortion clinic to schedule an appointment; it was the call to my beloved OB/Gyn to tell him, “We’re going to have a baby!”
BIO:  Aimee Kidd is a mother of 6, self-employed, in Casper, Wyoming, and is a pro-life blogger for Save The 1.  Her first piece written for our blog is found here:  http://savethe1.blogspot.com/2016/12/she-has-no-part-in-any-of-ugliness.html


















Footnote from Misti:  This morning will forever be engraved in my memory. The pain and anguish I saw in not only my friend, but one of my favorite people on the planet, tore my heart out. I often feel as if I can't find the right words, but this day, I truly spoke from my broken heart. What a blessing your baby daughter is and I cannot wait to see all the wonderful things she will bring into this world. Aimee, you my friend are a pillar of strength and we are so fortunate to have you in our lives!

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Wednesday, December 7, 2016

I, Like Any Other Person, Have the Same Rights in This Life! by Bethania Herrera, Ecuador

Hi everyone, my name is Bethany, from Ecuador, and I'm 19 years old.
When I was about 8-10 years old I learned that I was conceived in rape. At that tender age, I did not understand what that meant, but as I grew up, my mother told me more about her experience.
At age 23, she worked in my biological father's company. One day, my biological father drugged her and raped her. Months later, she realized she was pregnant. She felt dirty and fell into depression to the extent that she wanted to commit suicide.
My mother told me she never thought about abortion because she knew that the rape and her depression were not my fault.
To make matters worse for her, when my grandmother found out she was pregnant, she didn't even let my mother explain what had happened to her, and my grandmother kicked her pregnant daughter out of the house.
Months later, my mother came back to her home and they decided to take her in again. As you can see, she had very sad and difficult times; however, my mother never gave up.
I was born and made her life happier. She says that I was, from that moment on, her strength -- her reason for living. My mother fought to raise me alone, despite the criticism and pain. She was a warrior!
Ten years after my birth, she realized that hating her aggressor only damaged her heart and decided to forgive my biological father. I know my father and sometimes I talk to him. Because of my mother, I hold no grudge against him, and to this day, neither does my mother.
Being conceived in rape, I have not felt less of a person. Like any other person, I have the same rights in this life! I thank my mother for giving me the opportunity to live. Thanks Mom for the decision to have me! I am here, enjoying life, experiencing new things, achieving goals and becoming a professional.
It can be hard to be the victim of rape, but always keep in mind that abortion will never solve the rape. On the contrary, it will worsen your emotional state. Think of that little innocent being who is not only genetically part of the rapist, but part of you too. By killing that little one, you kill generations to come. . . .
We all have the same right: The right to life!
BIO: Bethania Herrera, conceived in rape, is from Ecuador and is a pro-life blogger for Save The 1,and our Spanish division Salvar El 1. This was translated from Spanish and originally posted to our Spanish blog: http://salvarel1.blogspot.com/2016/12/cuando-tenia-diez-anos-me-entere-que.html

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Thursday, December 1, 2016

Gender Equality Abortions? ~by Darlene Pawlik



My first response to the news that a judge in Brazil cited gender equality as a reason for decriminalizing abortion in that country is "Gender equality?!? A woman alone can make the decision... How is that equal? What about the fathers? She cannot get pregnant without him. The baby is his too! What about the gender equality for the baby?”

 “Women bear alone the burden of pregnancy. Therefore, there will only exist gender equality if women have the right to decide whether to continue a pregnancy or not,” said Judge Luis Roberto Barroso.  His premise is that the current Criminal Code that outlaws abortion disrespects women’s basic rights.

What about the father’s rights? What about the baby's rights? The decision to kill a child isn’t a right, in the first place. In no other circumstance do we allow the brutal murder of a human being based on the gender of the person deciding to hire a killer.

Would this judge contend that it is her right to kill a toddler? After all, it is her toddler, right? What if she alone is responsible for an adult, an elderly parent or disabled sibling, should she have the right to kill another because she is a woman who alone bears the burden of care?

Of course, that is ludicrous.

There is no such thing as gender equality when it comes to pregnancy. Women carry babies, men do not. It may seem unfair, especially in a case of rape, but her wholly unique ability to carry the child and protect the second victim of rape is temporary. Pregnancy is always temporary. Abortion is forever.

In Brazil, abortion has been a crime. Both women and those who commit abortions faced jail time. The exception for legal abortions; if a Brazilian woman had been the victim of rape. This defies logic. There is either a baby worth protecting or there isn’t.

It has been criminal to kill preborn babies unless the father is a criminal? So, if she delivers her baby, then decided that she didn’t want the burden, would that also be acceptable, because the baby’s father is a rapist?

Abortion after rape has significant consequences for women. She has been through the trauma of rape. Abortion, the intentional killing of her baby, is an additional trauma imposed on her in a state of dramatic turmoil. She needs support and therapy to heal after rape, and more so to help her get through the pregnancy. 

Abortion proponents use confused compassion to push abortion on an unsuspecting public. By placing the woman’s trauma over the child’s right to life, they perpetuate this proverbial camel’s nose in the tent.

They introduce an exception to the law against abortion, for rape, convincing the public that it is the compassionate thing to do for women who have been victims. The important facts that the child is developmentally no different than one conceived in a loving relationship and that the child is a second innocent victim of the crime are overlooked by most because most of us don’t think it through and we believe that the people writing the laws have our best interest in mind. That is simply not always the case.

Lobbyists for the abortion industry are often very well paid. Abortion is a huge money-maker. A real doctor will see a client throughout her pregnancy, deliver babies at all hours, and make a reasonable amount of money. An abortionist works regular business hours only and makes more money in a few minutes time with a similarly pregnant woman, again and again.

Might doesn't make right. Brazil has been receiving a lot of push-back from feminist organizations that want to open the floodgates of legalized abortion. They believe that the sheer number of people who want abortion on demand for any reason should prevail.  Exceptions for rape open the door for the blood to flow.

The bottom line here is that abortion kills a baby. It should be illegal to kill a baby. People who push for abortion will use any excuse to kill a baby. It’s not about compassion for rape victims. It’s not about gender equality. It’s not about women’s rights.

Darlene Pawlik is VP of Savethe1. She was conceived by rape, sexually abused as a child, sold into juvenile sex trafficking and got pregnant as a result. She is a speaker and blogger for Savethe1.com and theDarlingPrincess.com


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Wednesday, October 19, 2016

"Mom, That Baby Is As Much Of A Victim As You Are!" How My Daughter Saved Her Sister's Life, by Monica from Chile

I was very happy until I met him.  We had a relationship of more than 2 years in which I ended up being forced to endure everything he could think of until I was pregnant with our first child.  He and I each had children from previous relationships, so I just knew when I was pregnant.  He began to insult me ​​and abuse me even more -- until I lost my first baby.   It's a pain that hurts even until today -- more so when he started yelling at me in the streets that I had killed my baby.  

We had stopped living together and I had ended the relationship, but he kept going to bother me at my house, stalking me.  I had reported this situation to the police and in court, but nothing happened.  The court refused to grant me a restraining order.  As much as I called the police, they just told me they did not have a restraining order to be able to arrest him.

I remember one day, I did not have money for me and my son for transportation, so we walked from school to the house, which was very far and we arrived exhausted.  We went to bed that night and forgot to put chains on the gates of my house -- a situation that he took the opportunity to get into my house.  

He knew all of  our habits.  We would always drink water at midnight and that day was no exception.  My ex-husband put a powder in our waters, which was confirmed by testing weeks later.  With both of us drugged, he did what he wanted to me.  He raped me, and the result of that was that I became pregnant.  

I could not believe I was pregnant!  I had no partner and I knew that I had not been with anyone.   But the strange thing was that my ex-husband had stopped stalking me and had disappeared for those three weeks.

But the day after he drugged and raped me, my son and I had felt very strange.  We went to the emergency room and we took some blood tests.  It took three weeks for those results to come back.
When I discovered I was pregnant, I wanted to die.  I did not know how or why I was pregnant, but I was. When I saw my gynecologist to verify with a blood test, I shocked to hear him say: "You became pregnant two and a half weeks ago."  I wanted to die, really. 

I began to think about what could have happened, and I remembered that a neighbor had a surveillance camera at home, so we reviewed the recordings from the night my son and I were drugged, and we observed my ex-husband entering my house, because it was the night we had not chained it.  He still had only the key to the gate and door of my house, which he would not return to me.  So he watched for us to slip up by not using the chain, and he entered my home where he drugged and raped me.

I cannot say enough how much I wanted to die at the time!  I felt dirty.  I felt that everyone looked at me with disgust -- that was the worst.  So I sought help, and the first thing said to me was: "Abort!  How much are you going to suffer when you look at that rapist’s baby, and your memories come to your mind with all of the trauma?"

Really, I got to thinking, and I then became determined to kill that baby -- until I reached out to my oldest daughter.  She took my arms and angrily told me, "Mom, how are you going to kill that baby you carry in your womb?!  That baby is as much a victim as you are!  She did not ask to come into the world.  You always dreamed of having three children and, anyway, this will be your third child.  Did you forget everything you suffered in miscarrying your child and now you want to kill this baby who is a victim just like you?”

Those words touched me to the depths of my being.  She was right -- that baby was a victim of my rapist.  The trauma of my rape was already a great weight, along with what I endured during the last period of the relationship we had.  He was such an animal.  Just the thought of him caused me chills.
When he found out I was pregnant, I was already four months along.  He came to my house, he said sorry, and said he was there with the intention to talk like two adults.  He is a former Marine, and was a scuba diver for 25 years.  He knew how to act professional and calm when he wanted to.

We began talking very well when, suddenly, I felt bad.   I was vulnerable – a single mom, pregnant out of wedlock, exhausted, needing financial help.  He, very friendly, was telling me he would stay on the first floor in case I needed help, and I succumbed.  But at 4:00 in the morning, I got up to the bathroom and he immediately started insulting me.  Hearing me cry, my 9 year old son woke up, and when I turned toward my son, my son yelled at me: "Mom, watch out!!!!"  My ex-husband struck me hard.  I ran down the stairs, clutching my son and we stood in the kitchen.  I hugged my son, as I held a knife in my hand to keep my abuser away.

I called the police who told me they were on their way.  But an hour went by and I again called the police because he continued to threaten me and screamed more and more.  The policeman who answered listened on the phone and could hear how I screamed and could hear him threatening to keep beating me.  I told the policeman I was 4 months pregnant and with a child of 9 years right there with me, holding a knife in my hand to try to protect us.

The policeman screamed and I remember as if it were today trying to calm down the policeman.  He called on the other line to get other officers to my home, and in five minutes, they were there with three vans and two police cars.  A contingent of officers got out and had to break the window of my house to get in and rescue us.  They stayed with me, giving me police protection, until we were all before the Family Court.  At last, my ex-husband was given a restraining order – which he never respected.

I spent the remainder of my pregnancy stressed, anxious, frightened and suspicious of everyone -- until my daughter was born.  The doctor performed a Caesarean section on me early.  I named her Mailen, which means "strong woman" because this is the bond we have. 

Once she was born, I just wanted to leave that place and return to my home town in Chile and surround myself with the love of my family, getting away from any further harm and abuse.

Now I see my daughter who is 4 years and 8 months old, and I ask forgiveness for ever thinking  of
aborting her!  But such is the pressure, when you ask those who are supposed to help.  You doubt your own ability to love.  But if it were not for my older daughter who is now 24 years old, my 4 year old would not exist today.  You can survive with a child of the most aberrant act that is the worst violation – a rape.  Always find angels in your life who give you support – those who do not offer you “solutions” which are even more problematic.

Ladies, I particularly want all of you to know that my child is a blessing – MY blessing!  I will ask forgiveness to the last day of my life merely because I even thought for a moment about aborting my daughter.


Monica from Chile is a mother of three and now a blogger for Save The 1.  This story has been translated from our Spanish blog, Salvar El 1.
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Monday, October 3, 2016

Her Spirit was Crushed, but Healing Begins ~by Melanie Clark Metzbower


A 13-year-old girl’s free spirit is nearly crushed by a horrific rape, but healing begins where she’d least expect it…

It's 1941. Wildflower McAllister is a free-spirit who just turned 13. Though she’s left with a bitter mother after her Daddy’s fatal accident, she draws strength from his memory. Like all little girls, she dreams, she wonders, she has secrets. She also has fears, two to be exact: “One is dying young. The other is Johnny Monroe.”

Wildflower has a secret shortcut to get to her father’s grave, where she goes to talk to him and God. One day she arrives to find her fears realized. There’s Johnny, and fight though she may, there’s no escape.  She’s attacked, and forced to grow up much too soon.
Battered, bruised, and left for dead, she’s finally found by her family who vow to bring her attacker to justice. She feels broken, every last bit of her. Her mother blames her unjustly. Her community shuns her. It feels as though God has abandoned her, too.

Then, the unthinkable—she finds herself pregnant by her abuser.
She didn’t want to get raped, she didn’t want to get pregnant. But she knew without a doubt that her baby did not deserve to die for the sins of its father. And that strength, that determination, that baby, set her free again.

To say I was refreshed by this book is an understatement. In a society that glorifies selfishness, this Kirkus “Best Book of 2012” celebrates something completely different. I kept finding myself surprised as I read: Surely, she will get away…. Surely, she won’t be pregnant…Surely, the baby will be miscarried, or aborted, or at the very least, given up? She wouldn’t actually demand to mother her child, being just a child herself? You bet she did.

Through the eyes of a 13-year-old girl, we get a glimpse into the world of a mother from rape. Her strength, and her commitment to her child are inspiring:
Wildflower’s mother, along with the local doctor, pressure her to have an abortion, and her response is to “…cuss them both out to their faces...”
“If there is a baby inside me, I want to keep it safe, even though a part of me hates it for even existing.”

“…I decided not to blame the baby for being there. Just like me, it had no choice in the matter.”
“As hard as I wish it never happened, I can’t wish this baby away. It would be like trying to wish away the river in front of us.”—could there be a more profound observation?
In a moment of mercy, she even feels sympathy for her attacker—knowing he was raised by a mother who never loved him, and later abandoned him.

We live in a world where independence and self-fulfillment must be achieved at all costs; where pregnancies only contain “babies” if they are:
-Planned
-Wanted
-Without any chance of defect (determined by prenatal testing)
-Conceived in love by two consenting adults (or, with parts donated by parent  A and parent B, mixed    and implanted into parent C, to be raised by parents D and E)

If any of those factors are missing, society tells us pregnancy is simply: A clump of cells, defined only by the mother’s feelings; disposable; acceptable to destroy. And if that pregnancy came to be through rape? Even in the pro-life community, many turn away from their convictions, conscience, and scientific truths to allow that child to be killed.

To me, being pro-life has never been a question—it’s where my heart is. It’s who I am. No matter the circumstances, babies are babies: Precious and beautiful, created in God’s own image. Every baby is worth protecting, celebrating, and loving.

I never imagined when I picked up this little novel for a book club that it would have such a profound effect on me. The characters come alive, as they do only in the best books. The prose is rich, transporting the reader right to Katy’s Ridge, Tennessee.  Wildflower’s keen observations, subtle humor, and strength of character make The Secret Sense of Wildflower a joy to read. The best surprise of all, though, was the undeniable life-affirming message that is the story’s very core.
P.S. Lily’s Song, the story of Wildflower’s daughter, was just released—I can’t wait!


BIO:  Melanie Clark Metzbower is a wife, mother, and Hyperemesis Gravidarum (HG) survivor. Before her daughter was born, she was an active volunteer with Maryland Pro-Life Alliance PAC. In her free moments, she enjoys reading, writing, cooking, and travel.

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