This morning I stepped out for ten minutes to run some errands since my little bundle of joy Ellis had fallen asleep.  As I returned, I heard a cry.  He had woken up as soon as I stepped out.  I asked the woman helping me if my baby was awake.  When he heard my voice, immediately, Ellis kept quiet, smiled and started to move his little head to try to locate me.  I was moved to tears.

When I was pregnant, many people gave me a lot of pressure to eliminate this little prince.  Why?  Because some very wicked man who was obsessed with me since 2012 decided to rape me.  Apparently, he thought if he couldn’t marry me, then maybe he would just take me and ruin my future.  Well at the beginning, yes, he seemed to have succeeded. 

I am a Christian, raised in a Christian family.  Therefore, I was to marry a Christian man.  I also worked for a Christian organization so any man who came my way and was not a Christian was a no-go zone.  That was the reason I turned down the marriage proposal of this man.  

I met this man near my home and he quickly started pursuing me and pressuring me to marry him.  He was a doctor and claimed he was working for Johns Hopkins hospital.  He promised he would do anything for me.  All this did not matter to me because my upbringing taught me never to trust men who didn’t love Christ.  I turned him down, but to him, it was like I had asked him to keep disturbing me.  He even asked if I would at least go take a cup of tea with him.  Well I did meet him for a cup of tea a few times, but near my home so that I could easily return home in case of anything. 

I think it was from the few meetings that this man mastered what I drank because I always liked a Coke. Then on the 13th of May, 2015 at 6 p.m., I received a call from the same man -- having not heard from him for several months -- and he was asking to talk to me.  I gave an excuse of being busy, but he soon announced that he was outside of my house.  Of course I couldn’t have him enter my house since I was home alone.  I went outside to talk to him and he quickly suggested we drive to a nearby eating place so we could talk.  He seemed friendly and pleasant about it, so I did not object to what seemed harmless.  Little did I know that the man had already worked out a plan to rape me.

When we got to the eating place, I asked for the usual Coke and I was served while he asked for a Fanta.  I can’t explain entirely, but I started to feel hot and sleepy, and the next time I woke up, I was in this wicked man’s car with no panties, very weak, dizzy and in pain.  It was obvious to me I'd been raped.  He in turn was all smiles.  I was horrified and so angry, but it was too late.  The fool just drove off and that was the last time I ever set my eyes on him.  When I reported the matter to the police, I was assured they would arrest him. To date, I have never got any positive news on an investigation or an arrest. 

On the other hand, having run tests for HIV and pregnancy, I was free from the HIV virus -- thank God, but I was positive to pregnancy.  At that time, everyone had strong reasoning for me to carry out an abortion.  First, my friends and family all knew it was a rape, and it was early so all I had to do was take a tablet.  I was quickly reminded how I was a Christian and so the whole world would judge me for getting pregnant before marriage – regardless of being raped.  I lost my job, plus all of my savings worth 10,000 dollars because the organization could not stain their image by having a staff member who was known to be single and pregnant.

Well, all were strong reasons, but not good enough for me to end another person’s life!  I could not imagine ending the life of this cute little boy (who will turn out to be great in this world) because of some wicked man’s actions.  The rapist was indeed wicked and deceitful in every respect, as it turned out he was never a doctor at Johns Hopkins hospital -- we found that out in the process of trying to arrest him.  The hospital administration never had such a person. 

When my son was born, I named him Ellis, meaning "consecrated for God."  I am glad I kept my baby, even though I have paid a heavy price for him.  Having grown up an orphan and knowing how hard it has been for me to get by, I am determined to take good care of my son.  I want to love him, provide for his needs and guide him into the best person ever.  I want him to have the best education, get the best medical care and have all the good things to help him grow.  At the moment, this means I have to get a job. But right now, a job means I having to be away from my son nine hours each day, and that is not what I want either.  I want to be there for him.

My dream would be if I still had my 10000 dollars, I would set up a grocery store, employ one or two people and still have enough time for my son.  I am determined never to be crushed by poverty to the point of looking for that rapist so he would provide for my baby.  May the good Lord help me to never sink to that level of desperation.  I never want that wicked man to set his eye on my son all the days of his life nor hear that he exists, which is why I have chosen not to disclose my last name publicly.

While pregnant with my son, in my search for hope, I got online and found Save The 1's website.  I am thankful to great people I have met through Save The 1 who have similar stories -- people like Rebecca who have given me hope and a reason to make it. I know they understand my pain and how I can overcome.  I hope to be trained to help women in the same situation in my country, and I've already learned so much from the others with this organization.  I will always look up to them. God bless Save The 1 highly.

Currently, I am struggling financially.  As I said, I am an orphan myself, so I have no family to lean on. I cannot pay rent, so my landlord has shut off power and is threatening to evict us.  But my son Ellis is worth every struggle and I will never regret having him.

BIO:  Hellen, a mother who became pregnant by rape, is from Kampala, Uganda and has a B.A. in social sciences.  She became active with Save The 1 during her pregnancy, since over a year ago, and is now a pro-life blogger for Save The 1.  If you are able to assist Hellen in any way, please email her at hellenrhoda1@gmail.com. We tried getting various NGO's and other non-profits to assist, but were told her needs fell outside of their mission, or outside of their geographical region.

A 13-year-old girl’s free spirit is nearly crushed by a horrific rape, but healing begins where she’d least expect it…

It's 1941. Wildflower McAllister is a free-spirit who just turned 13. Though she’s left with a bitter mother after her Daddy’s fatal accident, she draws strength from his memory. Like all little girls, she dreams, she wonders, she has secrets. She also has fears, two to be exact: “One is dying young. The other is Johnny Monroe.”

Wildflower has a secret shortcut to get to her father’s grave, where she goes to talk to him and God. One day she arrives to find her fears realized. There’s Johnny, and fight though she may, there’s no escape.  She’s attacked, and forced to grow up much too soon.

Battered, bruised, and left for dead, she’s finally found by her family who vow to bring her attacker to justice. She feels broken, every last bit of her. Her mother blames her unjustly. Her community shuns her. It feels as though God has abandoned her, too.

Then, the unthinkable—she finds herself pregnant by her abuser.

She didn’t want to get raped, she didn’t want to get pregnant. But she knew without a doubt that her baby did not deserve to die for the sins of its father. And that strength, that determination, that baby, set her free again.

To say I was refreshed by this book is an understatement. In a society that glorifies selfishness, this Kirkus “Best Book of 2012” celebrates something completely different. I kept finding myself surprised as I read: Surely, she will get away…. Surely, she won’t be pregnant…Surely, the baby will be miscarried, or aborted, or at the very least, given up? She wouldn’t actually demand to mother her child, being just a child herself? You bet she did.

Through the eyes of a 13-year-old girl, we get a glimpse into the world of a mother from rape. Her strength, and her commitment to her child are inspiring:

Wildflower’s mother, along with the local doctor, pressure her to have an abortion, and her response is to “…cuss them both out to their faces...”

“If there is a baby inside me, I want to keep it safe, even though a part of me hates it for even existing.”

“…I decided not to blame the baby for being there. Just like me, it had no choice in the matter.”

“As hard as I wish it never happened, I can’t wish this baby away. It would be like trying to wish away the river in front of us.”—could there be a more profound observation?

In a moment of mercy, she even feels sympathy for her attacker—knowing he was raised by a mother who never loved him, and later abandoned him.

We live in a world where independence and self-fulfillment must be achieved at all costs; where pregnancies only contain “babies” if they are:

-Planned

-Wanted

-Without any chance of defect (determined by prenatal testing)

-Conceived in love by two consenting adults (or, with parts donated by parent  A and parent B, mixed    and implanted into parent C, to be raised by parents D and E)

If any of those factors are missing, society tells us pregnancy is simply: A clump of cells, defined only by the mother’s feelings; disposable; acceptable to destroy. And if that pregnancy came to be through rape? Even in the pro-life community, many turn away from their convictions, conscience, and scientific truths to allow that child to be killed.

To me, being pro-life has never been a question—it’s where my heart is. It’s who I am. No matter the circumstances, babies are babies: Precious and beautiful, created in God’s own image. Every baby is worth protecting, celebrating, and loving.

I never imagined when I picked up this little novel for a book club that it would have such a profound effect on me. The characters come alive, as they do only in the best books. The prose is rich, transporting the reader right to Katy’s Ridge, Tennessee.  Wildflower’s keen observations, subtle humor, and strength of character make The Secret Sense of Wildflower a joy to read. The best surprise of all, though, was the undeniable life-affirming message that is the story’s very core.

P.S. Lily’s Song, the story of Wildflower’s daughter, was just released—I can’t wait!

BIO:  Melanie Clark Metzbower is a wife, mother, and Hyperemesis Gravidarum (HG) survivor. Before her daughter was born, she was an active volunteer with Maryland Pro-Life Alliance PAC. In her free moments, she enjoys reading, writing, cooking, and travel.

I was scared as hell, and perplexed.  See, I always tried and wanted to get pregnant over the years by the guys I loved, but never could.  I thought I was infertile, so of course, I was shocked and surprised.

Immediately, I thought about an abortion when told I was six weeks along, but given the price which I could not afford, I was crushed! Then I contemplated self-aborting and the thought made me sick, so I decided on adoption. But I still had regrets of carrying a baby conceived from the rape.

I called and met with an adoption agency. They wanted me to sign papers right away, and they also asked me about getting screened for Down Syndrome because I was older.  Whether the baby had Down Syndrome made no difference to me, so this really troubled me and left me uncomfortable with the agency.

I spoke to a Facebook friend Ralph (God bless him) and he mentioned he had a sister near me who could speak at her church about my situation.  A few hours later, I received two phone calls -- one of them was Karen, who is a blessing and an angel sent from above. She told me she would be willing to either help me raise the child or she would adopt the baby.  I was stunned to hear that she truly cared about me, whether or not she ultimately adopted the baby.  I met up with her later that week.  She bought me my favorite doughnuts (which I never told her they were,) and we spoke at length. 

Karen told me she had two little boys who were adopted. We quickly bonded and she told me that she loved me, and I could see how genuine she was!  

Well, our first doctor’s appointment was very emotional.  She explained to the doctor my situation. Also, my deepest regret is that I was abusing drugs. We found out I was 6-8 weeks pregnant.  We did the ultrasound and heard the baby's heartbeat.  When she first heard the baby's heartbeat, I knew this was right and I loved her.  I swore and promised Karen I would not do drugs during this journey.  

During my pregnancy, we did everything together. I was carrying her baby and I was, as we jokingly said, "The Incubator." I know that a lot of people would be offended to read such a thing, but I just want to give you an idea of how well we bonded -- that we were able to actually joke around like that.  As we went through the journey, I saw the baby grow inside her heart, as I was just caring a baby that God meant to be given a chance at life.  

We learned the sex of the baby -- he was a boy!  Karen was so loving and still is a caring person who had seven children and had more love to give to more babies. Thankfully, I was just carrying one. But she drove nearly three hours each week to go through the precious journey with me.  I saw the sonograms at check-ups, and I was amazed.

See, if you are given or blessed with a baby conceived by a rape, you can turn a tragedy into something wonderful. Karen is such a beautiful woman with a loving soul and I am so very lucky to have met and chose her. She even helped me with getting out of my bad apartment and found me a new one with donations of furniture. She understood I struggled with mental illness, so we took all precautions and went to counseling. I was very happy that I met someone who loved me and the baby unconditionally.

We learned that the baby was due around September, 2009. I dropped my old friends as she blessed me by introducing me to her family and friends, and God. It was a hard journey that turned into something very precious. My ob/gyn was understanding while I battled very bad morning sickness. Oh, and I forgot to mention I had Hepatitis C from a previous rape, so this was a delicate matter.

We agreed on a C-section. While I saw my doctor one day, he told us he wanted to induce labor. When we got to the hospital, we were then told I was progressing rapidly and that I was going to have a natural childbirth! Say whaaat? So as I was going through contractions, I knew that we were going through this together. Late on September 11, 2009 the baby was born as Karen and Bobby (her husband) went through a very memorable birth. 

Once I delivered, Bobby went off with the baby but Karen stood by me until she was confident I was okay. And then she finally met her son. I never saw him, but she was so very happy and moved.  He is a very loved and happy little one!  

Karen is still and will always be a part of my life. But I learned that this child born from a rape turned tragedy into something beautiful. I do not have nightmares about the rape. I gave Karen and her family an eternal and precious gift! That was the experience. I am very happy that he was not aborted. God made it this way. It was all of us -- our journey. What I lost, I gave something special. Turning a tragedy into a precious gift -- it was a beautiful journey.  And I will always carry him in my heart. I made Karen and her family into something more than special. It was a blessing.

If you have been raped and find that you are pregnant, you too can turn something so horrible into something incredible and special.