Showing posts with label pregnant rape victim. Show all posts
Showing posts with label pregnant rape victim. Show all posts
Sunday, January 7, 2018

What Advice Should Clergy Give To a Woman Pregnant By Rape? by Rebecca Kiessling

Clergy need to get this one right!  Save The 1 has published two recent stories in which the pregnant rape victims' clergy not only advised them that's it's acceptable to abort, but actually encouraged them to do so.  One rape victim went through with the abortion, and the other did not.  In other words, a pastor was responsible for the death of an innocent unborn child.

Nicole W. Cooley, in her story, A Tale of Two Mothers Who Were Pregnant By Rape,  writes: "Unfortunately, the only specific advice came from my pastor.  She told me, 'Let me put your heart at ease.  In the eyes of the church, any decision, prayerfully considered, is okay.  In your case, I think you should have an abortion.  You need to be able to move past this.  You should have an abortion.'

"She went on to tell me about her two daughters who had also faced unplanned pregnancies.  One had chosen adoption, the other abortion, and both were equally good decisions, she said.  She dismissively added, 'There's a couple in the church who want to adopt, but, no, you shouldn't talk to them.  You need to have an abortion.' I remember my heart telling me, 'Isn't there something in Psalms about this?'"

Nicole deeply regretted her abortion, and suffered for many years as a result. She says a key component to her healing was her godly husband telling her, "I love you, but what you did was wrong."  Women need to hear the truth.

In her testimonial, From Victimhood to Motherhood, I Chose Joy, Paula K. Peyton explains, the morning after the rape, "I spoke to my priest who was very supportive of me as a rape victim.  But she actually took me to Walgreens to buy Plan B, which I never took because it wasn't something I was comfortable with.  I don't take birth control because I'm not comfortable with it.  I already knew Plan B  could have the effect of preventing implantation if an embryo was already created.  I was worried about STDs, and of course, I was concerned about pregnancy since I knew the timing and that I could be ovulating.  I'd had discussions with friends in the past about Plan B and we had talked about not knowing if you would have lost a baby or not, and I had already concluded that it would be horrible not knowing."  When she found out she was pregnant, this same priest also advised her to abort.  But Paula says, "the Lord had taken one of the worst things in my life -- something so dark and damaging -- and He had created life."

 With Save the 1, we now have a network of nearly 550 who became pregnant by rape, as well as those conceived in rape, and I've repeatedly heard other stories like this, where the pregnant rape victim sought counsel from her clergy, and the priest or pastor advised her to abort, telling her that God will forgive her -- and it wasn't just female clergy.  But the issue is not whether God forgives our sins -- the critical question for clergy is this:  Is it a sin to abort when the pregnancy is the result of rape?  Yes, it is!  Theologians, ministry leaders and pastors need to be clear on this.  Abortion intentionally ends the life of an innocent living human being.  Exodus 20:13 and Deuteronomy 5:17 clearly command:  “You shall not murder.”  Killing an innocent unborn child after rape through the premeditated act of abortion fits the definition of murder:  “You have condemned and murdered the innocent one, who was not opposing you.”  — James 5:6  Punish rapists, not babies.

 Pastors and priests should know better -- as with any other sin, there is accountability for the shedding of innocent blood.  Genesis 9:5,6 warns:  “And from each human being, too, I will demand an accounting for the life of another human being.  Whoever sheds human blood, by humans shall their blood be shed; for in the image of God has God made mankind.”  Just do a Bible search of “innocent blood,” and you’ll see a plethora of Scripture verses -- how relevant innocence is, and how God detests the shedding of innocent blood.  Here are the most common questions asked when it comes to theology of abortion in cases of rape, and clergy must get these answers right:
1.  Is abortion murder?
Yes.  This is critical to know the answer to this question when being asked for biblical advice on whether to abort.  While it's not helpful to condemn post-abortive friends by saying, "You're a murderer," many of our post-abortive rape victims from Save The 1 have used this kind of language toward themselves, and several sexual abuse survivors moms who contemplated abortion use that language in describing what they almost did to their child, or what others urged them to do.  Certainly someone who has been asked for a biblical perspective should be able to answer this question accurately.  
Abortion always involves bloodshed -- babies do not just magically disappear.  No woman takes a pill and the baby just vanishes into thin air.  And the unborn baby is always innocent.   

Consider Exodus 21:22-25, which is the first place in the Bible where the law of “an eye for an eye” is declared.  This passage demonstrates the seriousness with which God takes the injury to a pregnant woman or her unborn child:   “If people are fighting and hit a pregnant woman and she gives birth prematurely but there is no serious injury, the offender must be fined whatever the woman’s husband demands and the court allows.  But if there is serious injury, you are to take life for life, eye for eye, tooth for tooth, hand for hand, foot for foot,  burn for burn, wound for wound, bruise for bruise.”  I've seen liberal theologians actually argue that the verse only pertains to harm to the woman, but this standard necessarily includes harm to the unborn child, or the verse would not be talking about a pregnant woman!  The injury or death to the unborn child is what’s critical here.

In Amos 1:13, God says that for Ammon’s sins, He “will not relent.  Because he ripped open the pregnant women of Gilead.”  So it’s clear that God expressly counts the ripping open of pregnant women as a sin.  That’s exactly what abortion is.  Again, the fact that the women are pregnant is relevant — not because of her autonomy, but because of the harm to her unborn child.
Abortion involves the killing of one's own children and is just another form of child-sacrifice.  Making the rape exception to your pro-life views is modern-day child sacrifice.  Look at Psalm 106:37-38:  “They sacrificed their sons and their daughters to false gods.  They shed innocent blood,  the blood of their sons and daughters, whom they sacrificed to the idols of Canaan,  and the land was desecrated by their blood.”  The child conceived out of rape is still the rape survivor mother’s own son or daughter -- innocent blood.
I shudder when I read Jeremiah 20:17, “For he did not kill me in the womb, with my mother as my grave, her womb enlarged forever.”  Abortion turns a mother’s womb into a grave.
2.  But what about in cases of rape?
The Bible is clear that only the rapist is to be punished for the rape:  “But if out in the country a man happens to meet a young woman pledged to be married and rapes her, only the man who has done this shall die.”  — Deuteronomy 22:25
However, it’s estimated that, in the United States, only 1% of rapists are ever convicted for the crime of rape.  According to the U.S. Supreme Court cases of Coker v Georgia and Kennedy v Louisiana, rapists and even child molesters don’t deserve the death penalty — that it’s “cruel and unusual punishment.”  So how could the innocent child conceived out of that rape deserve the death penalty?
Proverbs 17:15 warns:  “Acquitting the guilty and condemning the innocent— the Lord detests them both.”  And Proverbs 18:5 tell us:  “It is not good to be partial to the wicked and so deprive the innocent of justice,” which is what the Supreme Court has done, along with every law passed banning or regulating abortion with a rape exception included.  Clergy do the same when they encourage the innocent child to be killed, which also happens to destroy the evidence of the rape, protecting the perpetrator!
1 Kings 8:32 and 2 Chronicles 6:23 both say:  “Judge between your servants, condemning the guilty by bringing down on their heads what they have done, and vindicating the innocent by treating them in accordance with their innocence.”  The rapist is guilty, while the child is innocent, yet there are some clergy and other Christians who are prepared to allow the innocent child to be put to death, but not the rapist!
In Deuteronomy 24:16  and 2 Kings 14: 6b, God makes it very clear: “Parents are not to be put to death for their children, nor children put to death for their parents; each will die for their own sin.”  As a child conceived in rape, God's word affirms that I did not deserve the death penalty for the crime of my biological father.  I'm appalled that any pastor or priest would suggest otherwise.
In Ezekiel chapter 18, it’s further explained:   “But suppose this son has a son who sees all the sins his father commits, and though he sees them, he does not do such things. . . .  He will not die for his father’s sin; he will surely live. But his father will die for his own sin. . . . “Yet you ask, ‘Why does the son not share the guilt of his father?’ Since the son has done what is just and right and has been careful to keep all my decrees, he will surely live.  The one who sins is the one who will die. The child will not share the guilt of the parent, nor will the parent share the guilt of the child. The righteousness of the righteous will be credited to them, and the wickedness of the wicked will be charged against them.”  — verses 14, 17 b, 18a, 19-20
There is ample scripture regarding God’s concern for the fatherless, and no one is more at risk to end up fatherless than the child conceived in rape.  “Do no wrong or violence to the foreigner, the fatherless or the widow, and do not shed innocent blood in this place.”  Jeremiah 22:3  Clergy are "doing wrong" when they give the okay for the innocent child to be aborted.
3.  Isn’t this “the rapist’s baby” or “demon seed?”
No!  Every child is created by God, in His image, for a purpose.  “So God created man in his own image, in the image of God he created him; male and female he created them.” — Genesis 1:27  And Job 31:15 explains:    “Did not he who made me in the womb make them?   Did not the same one form us both within our mothers?”
Psalm 139:13-16 is true for every child, regardless of the circumstances of his or her conception:
For you created my inmost being;
you knit me together in my mother’s womb.
I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made;
your works are wonderful,
I know that full well.
My frame was not hidden from you
when I was made in the secret place.
When I was woven together in the depths of the earth,
your eyes saw my unformed body.
All the days ordained for me
were written in your book
before one of them came to be."

 God is the author of life and we are not to question what He has divinely created.  Isaiah 45: 9-12:
“Does the clay say to the potter,
‘What are you making?’
Does your work say,
‘He has no hands?’
Woe to him who says to his father,
‘What have you begotten?’
or to his mother,
‘What have you brought to birth?'”
“This is what the Lord says —
the Holy One of Israel, and its Maker:
Concerning things to come,
do you question me about my children,
or give me orders about the work of my hands?
It is I who made the earth
and created mankind upon it.”
Like any other child, I was created by God, in His image, for a purpose -- and that purpose was not to be aborted!  I actually had a Christian woman once suggest to me that God might create some children for the purpose of being aborted.  I have to wonder where she got this theology.  It is the responsibility of clergy to be teaching that none of us are to question to the work of God's hands, and that's exactly what's happening when you contemplate abortion, or when you give the green light to abort.

In Matthew 18, Jesus speaks at length about the little children, and says the following in the parable of the lost sheep:  “See that you do not despise one of these little ones. For I tell you that their angels in heaven always see the face of my Father in heaven.  What do you think? If a man owns a hundred sheep, and one of them wanders away, will he not leave the ninety-nine on the hills and go to look for the one that wandered off?  And if he finds it, truly I tell you, he is happier about that one sheep than about the ninety-nine that did not wander off.  In the same way your Father in heaven is not willing that any of these little ones should perish.” — verses 10:14 

 Jesus was specifically talking about the little ones who are despised who are at risk of perishing, and he makes it clear that God is not willing that any of them should die!  In today's society, are not these despised little ones children conceived in rape?  There is no other people group today that are as systematically targeted and despised as the child conceived in rape.  But God isn’t about making exceptions.  These children are His priority!

 4.  So does that mean that God intends rape?
No!  God gave people free will because love requires free will.  He wants us to be obedient out of love.  Tragically, against the law of God, some use that free will to harm others, as when Joseph’s brothers sold him into slavery.  But what they intended for evil, God used it for good.  See Genesis 50: 19-21. It’s a theme we see throughout Scripture, including the death and resurrection of our Savior.  In Isaiah 63:3, we see that for those who are grieving, He will “bestow on them a crown of beauty instead of ashes, the oil of joy instead of mourning, and a garment of praise instead of a spirit of despair.”  It’s what God does, and what He’s famous for!  Bringing good out of evil is one of His trademarks. “And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.”  — Romans 8:28

 God is not pro-rape, just as valuing my own life does not make me pro-rape.  Mothers can love their children conceived in rape without being pro-rape.  Being Christians does not make us pro-crucifixion, and neither is God.  Sorry if the question seems absurd to some of you, but please keep in mind that these are actual questions I get asked.
5.  If a woman has committed the sin of abortion, is it unforgivable?
No!  Jesus died on the cross once for all, for every sin.  See Romans 6:10, 1 Peter 3:18, and Hebrews 9:28.  “If we confess our sins, his is faithful and just, and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness.”  1 John 1:9  “Repent then and turn to God so that your sins may be wiped out, that times of refreshing may come from the Lord.”  — Acts 3:19  

 I've been stunned over the years by how many women have come up to me after they heard me speak, confessed their abortions to me, then asked, "Do you forgive me?"  I tell them "I don't feel it's my place that you would need my forgiveness."  It's not my place to condemn them.  Then I inquire as to whether they've asked God to forgive them, and the answer is always in the affirmative.  I further ask, "Do you believe God forgives you?," and they tend to answer with shrugs, "Yeah. Yeah, I guess He forgives me."  

 When I ask the next question, "Have you forgiven yourself?," these women often have a more difficult time of it.  I tell them what someone once told me when I was struggling to forgive myself for something painful I'd done:  "When you fail to forgive yourself, it's like saying that what God did by sending His son to die on the Cross for you isn't good enough for you -- that it was in vain, and that what you have to say it is more important than what God has to say."  Forgiving yourself is what it really means to say that God's grace is sufficient -- what He did is good enough for me.

 But even when they understand this truth and are able to repent, to receive God's forgiveness and to forgive themselves, they still have asked me if I forgive them.  And I know why they ask me.  Because I am someone who was conceived in rape and nearly aborted by my birthmother, they see me as a surrogate for their children, and they think that if I can forgive them, then maybe -- just maybe, their children will forgive them.  What they are really asking is, "Will my baby forgive me?"  This is another theological question clergy better be prepared to answer when asked by a post-abortive mother.  What I offer these women is, "All I know is that there will be no more tears in Heaven," and to the extent they need to hear it from me, my answer is "Yes, I forgive you."

 It's important to offer grace and mercy, but please, please, don't let your good advice be a day late.  Many clergy are experts at giving advice on forgiveness -- as they should be, but fail miserably in giving sound, biblical advice on life-ending sin.  Murder is a sin, abortion is included in murder, which involves the shedding of innocent blood.  Only the rapist is to be punished for his crime.  A child is not to be punished for the sins of his or her father.  Every child, including children conceived in rape, is made by God, in the image of God, for His purposes.  God does not intend rape, He makes beautiful things come out of evil, and God is able to forgive those who have committed the sin of abortion.
It is clearly against the law of God to have an abortion in the case of rape or incest, and I’m thankful to be alive.  I'm thankful to those who defended my life and protected me when my birth mother was vulnerable and sought to abort me.  The church is often the first place where a pregnant woman will seek counsel.  Clergy and the body of Christ should be the first to come to the defense of the innocent child.
BIO: Rebecca Kiessling is an international pro-life speaker, attorney, wife, mother of 5,
founder and President of Save The 1, co-founder of Hope After Rape Conception, and author of the Heritage House ’76 pamphlet “Conceived in Rape:  A Story of Hope.”  Visit her website at www.rebeccakiessling.com
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Friday, January 5, 2018

A Tale of Two Mothers Who Were Pregnant By Rape, by Nicole W. Cooley

Just touch one, Lord. . . .  My repeated prayer ever since I first told my story almost twenty years ago has been the same -- for the Lord to somehow use my saga of shame and regret to help someone else.  He's always answered.  The first time I shared my testimony publicly, a woman came up to me afterwards and said, "Thank you for sharing.  My mother forced me to have an abortion when I was sixteen.  I have always felt it was wrong.  You're the first person to validate what I've always known."  But, my favorite answer to that simple prayer lies in the story I'm about to tell.

First, let me tell you my own journey.  I grew up in a Christian home.  As a teenager, I remember my father telling me, "Abortion is wrong.  I'm pro-life except in cases of rape or to save the life of the mother.  As with most of my father's opinions, I took his and made it my own.

A short time later, my biology teacher told the class to write a birth plan for an unplanned pregnancy, and I refused:  "If I never get pregnant, there won't be an unplanned pregnancy.  Abstinence works 100% of the time."  I never contemplated at age 15 that just a few years later, my "plan" would be tested -- and I'd learn the hard way that this "plan" fell way short of preparing me for reality. . . .

I met him on an airplane while traveling home for Christmas.  He offered to get down my overhead luggage for me, and then refused to give me my suitcase.  As I followed him off the plane, still asking for my suitcase, he said, "I'd like to carry it a while longer, if that's okay.  Would you like to get something to drink?"  Surprisingly, I decided I liked him, and agreed to give him my phone number. 

When he called a couple of weeks later, I invited him to church instead of going for a drink.  He counter-invited me to attend his church.  Thrilled he was also a "Christian," I readily agreed.  When I told him, "I'm waiting for marriage for intimacy, so if sex is what you're after, we should end this now," he assured me, "You're preaching to the choir."  He lied.

I'm convinced now that he was in the later stages of a significant pornography addiction.  I can't rationally explain his behavior any other way.  You see, a pornography addiction left unchecked, will always lead to acting out what you read about, and look at.  Over time, your conscience is seared, and just like a cocaine addict, you'll do anything to get your "fix."  For him, I would be his fix -- whether I agreed or not.

When his initial attempts to lure me into bed were futile, he turned to the date rape drug.  

One night I had a horrible dream.  In my dream, I was back on my old college campus -- only now, I was in the later stages of pregnancy.  Late at night, I went from dorm to dorm, looking for a place to sleep.  Desperately tired, everyone turned me away.  Finally, my former boyfriend let me in, but told me I'd have to use the top bunk.  With difficulty, I climbed up, and subsequently fell into a deep sleep.

The next morning, I woke up and told my "boyfriend" about my dream.  His eyes were as big as saucers.  At that point, I still didn't know.  But then I went to the bathroom and something unusual fell out of my body.  Plus I had a growing awareness of soreness, and I knew something was wrong.  I ran out, and yelled, "I need to go to the emergency room!"  He convinced me nothing had happened, but two weeks later, I learned the truth. 

Denial has a sedative effect.  People who have never been there like to say, "I'd never allow myself to be abused like that!"  When you have the starring role in your own horrible TV reality show, it just doesn't seem possible.  In fact, your mind helps you to believe it's not really happening in order to preserve your sanity.  I couldn't believe my boyfriend -- the man my heart had set on marrying -- would rape me.  So, I believed him instead . . . , until two weeks later when two positive pregnancy tests forced me into a reality I wasn't prepared to face.

In the days and weeks after realizing I'd been raped, I walked around in a daze.  My dayplanner for work usually had very little "white space" due to all of my notes.  The near-blank pages after the rape reflected my distracted and zombie-like mental state.  I merely went through the motions of life.  

At the same time, the world's standards demanded I make a life or death decision for another human being.  I just couldn't.  So, I leaned on those I trusted most -- my family, my best friend, and my church.

I tell people now that if you have the honor of being asked for your opinion in the case of an unplanned pregnancy, be prepared to give a real answer.  Telling someone in crisis, "Whatever you want to do, I'll support you" is of no real help at all.  She's asking for definitive advice.  She needs to hear, "I know this feels horrible and you can't see how you're going to get through this, but you will.  I'll walk with you every step. You are going to make it.  You're strong.  You can do this.  I know nine months seems like forever, but it's really not.  Don't make a decision today that you will regret for the rest of your life.  Choose life.  It's the best choice for both of you."

Unfortunately, the only specific advice came from my pastor.  She told me, "Let me put your heart at ease.  In the eyes of the church, any decision, prayerfully considered, is okay.  In your case, I think you should have an abortion.  You need to be able to move past this.  You should have an abortion."  

She went on to tell me about her two daughters who had also faced unplanned pregnancies.  One had chosen adoption, the other abortion, and both were equally good decisions, she said.  She dismissively added, "There's a couple in the church who want to adopt, but, no, you shouldn't talk to them.  You need to have an abortion."

I remember my heart telling me, "Isn't there something in Psalms about this?"  My heart began to break as the door slowly closed inside.  I felt I didn't have a choice.  I was convinced that nobody would adopt my baby with my having a 50% chance of carrying the gene for neurofibromatosis (a horrible disease my Dad battled most of his adult life.)  I began to steel myself for the abortion.  I felt like a lamb being led to her death inside.  I didn't believe I had a choice.

After the abortion, I learned there is something worse than being raped.  The abortion felt like being raped again -- only worse, because this time, I had consented to the assault.  In both cases, men assaulted me physically.  The second trauma -- the abortion, shut me down emotionally, putting me over the edge.  

It took four years to begin the slow path out of denial and into healing in Christ.  If it hadn't been for the wonderful husband God sent me, I don't know how I would be here today.  He told me from the beginning, "I love you, but what you did was wrong."  That chink in my denial helped me years later, after the birth of our first son, John, to finally see the truth.  It shattered my heart.  But, it needed to break . . . so God could put it back together again.

A "Divine appointment" took place a few years ago when I spoke at my church.  Plans for me to speak had been rescheduled several times over many months until the Sunday in November when I finally shared a ministry update with our church.  I now work with the Center for Bio-Ethical Reform, sharing abortion victim images primarily on college campuses across Virginia and the Southeast.  That day, I prefaced my talk by saying my words weren't meant to condemn anyone, and not to believe the Enemy if they felt that way.  

As a post-abortive woman myself, I understood that misplaced guilt all too well.  I explained the reasoning behind our work, citing the work of successful historical social reformers like William Wilberforce, Lewis Hine, and Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr..  And, I showed pictures of first trimester abortions -- little babies, with limbs and appendages torn from their tiny bodies.  It's devastating to see for the first time.  And, I had no idea there was a pregnant rape victim in the audience that day. . . .

Morgan told me two months later that she'd been there.  Sitting in the audience, it had been a rare Sunday for her to be in church at all.  She told me, "You were there for me."  

The night she'd been raped, she had snuck out of her home to hang out with friends.  Gang-raped on the way home, she hid her ruined clothes, and told nobody, except a few close friends what had happened.  When she discovered she was pregnant, her high school friends arranged for her to have an abortion the following Saturday.  She had told her parents she had a sporting event in Washington D.C. so they wouldn't be suspicious when she left for the abortion.

But, then, in church, she heard my testimony and saw the pictures -- and she knew she couldn't do it.  

Morgan gained the courage to tell her parents what had happened -- despite feeling ashamed she had snuck out of the house and that she'd planned an abortion.  They rallied around her, and supported her in choosing adoption for her baby instead.  During her pregnancy, I was able to connect her to Save The 1 and she joined their private Facebook for birthmothers from rape, so she wouldn't have to be alone in this.  A family at the church put her in contact with the perfect family for her baby.  Months later she gave birth, and named him "Justice."

The pain from losing my son Matthew is the single greatest regret of my life.  It crushed me.  Abortion forces a mother to turn against her own flesh and blood.  It's self-destructive like no other trauma -- the scars run deep.  Rape is traumatic too, no doubt.  But, compounding the trauma of rape with the second trauma of abortion is contraindicated.  Abortion hurts rape victims; it never helps them.  The best choice for the mother who has conceived in rape is to continue the pregnancy, surrounded by supportive family and friends, or through the support of a pregnancy resource center.

In His Word, God promises that all things will work together for good to those who are called according to His purposes (Romans 8:28).  For me, Morgan's story is proof of His promise.  My baby died and broke this mother's heart.  But, God used my pain and suffering to propel me into ministry on behalf of the pre-born.  Because I am willing to share my painful testimony of my son's death, baby Justice is alive, and his mother lives without the regret of abortion.  Indeed, when you save the baby conceived in rape or with a fetal abnormality, you actually save two -- mother and child.  We call ourselves "Save The 1," but when you save the 1 child, you save the mother too -- you save them both.
BIO:  Nicole W Cooley is a wife, mother, Project Director for the Center for Bio-Ethical Reform - Virginia,  author of Into the Light, and a pro-life speaker and blogger for Save The 1.  Her website is www.NicoleWCooley.com

 Visit Save The 1's booth at the March for Life Expo 2018 and meet Nicole in person!
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Wednesday, December 20, 2017

Gov. Wolf Thinks My Grandchild Wasn't Worth Saving, by Michele Snook

I saw the recent news that Governor Tom Wolf vetoed the 20 week abortion ban here in Pennsylvania, highlighting the fact that the ban had no rape exception -- even though he knows darn well he would have vetoed the bill anyway. This makes me so angry that politicians think that innocent children like my grandchild are not worth saving. These children are our future! One of these children killed in the womb could have discovered a cure for cancer, become president or hundreds of other amazing things.

 I am a mother of a child who was raped and impregnated when she was just a child herself at the age of 11, and I have been raising that child conceived in rape as my own for the last 13 years. To be exact, she turned 13 the day the Governor released his statement on his veto.. And this is her birthday gift from our Governor?!

Like most young pregnant rape victims, my daughter's pregnancy wasn't discovered until
later in the pregnancy. Not that my daughter would have considered abortion, but this 20 week abortion ban would have protected the life of my granddaughter -- especially if the rapist had tried to coerce my daughter into aborting. You see, my granddaughter's DNA was the evidence used to put this child molester in prison. But with abortion, the rapist would have been protected. Gov. Wolf's veto will protect rapists. The baby actually helped my daughter heal because her life gave my daughter someone else to fight for. But Gov. Wolf doesn't understand that.

 I can honestly say abortion is wrong, knowing what I know today. Would I have wanted my granddaughter aborted? No! With her special needs, it's extremely hard parenting her some days, but her life still has value and she is worthy of life.

So that being said . . . ,

Dear Governor Wolf:

You say that this bill was criminalizing a woman's "right to health care." What about the rights of the unborn child? What about my granddaughter's life that you criminalize? The bill did not deny a woman the right to prenatal care. It didn't even prevent women from obtaining an abortion -- it just said there was a cut off date. The bill was trying to protect unborn babies from dying the most heinous of deaths.

To Mayor Kenney:

 You claim second trimester abortions are safe. But sir, that is a bold-faced lie. They're never safe for the baby. And, the further along a woman is, the more dangerous it is. There's a greater chance of becoming infertile, needing an emergency hysterectomy due to the uterus being punctured, or even her worst-case scenario of death. You also claim it is victimizing the victim to expect her to carry "a rapist's baby." But is not that child made up of 50% of her DNA, making that child the rape victim's baby? Last time I checked, we humans are made up of 46 chromosomes and 23 come from each parent.

Instead of trying to stop a bill that protects life, why don't you get a bill passed that truly helps rape victims who have been impregnated by taking the rights away from rapists, without requiring the obstacle of a getting a rape conviction? And if she's lucky enough to get a rape conviction, why not make termination of his parental rights automatic? Then people like myself and my daughter who was raped and impregnated at 11 years of age would not be in the situation we're in today.

She made the difficult decision that an adult -- let alone a child -- should not have to make to have her daughter in her life as her sister, and I have been raising this child as my own for the last 13 years. But I am only her legal guardian because if my daughter were to give up her rights, he could get custody in Pennsylvania. So I cannot legally make my granddaughter my own, because Pennsylvania law protects the rapist, not the victim or her innocent child. This is traumatizing my daughter far more than carrying a child for 9 months and loving that child. So Gov. Wolf and those who support his veto -- you are all wrong in your assumptions.

 While these politicians jockey to look good in public opinion, my family lives in constant fear that when the man who raped my daughter is released from prison, he could be given visitation or even custody some day.

To the Executive Director of New Voice for Reproduction Justice:

 Instead of promoting abortion as a means of controlling reproduction, how about spending your time educating and promoting respect for women instead? How about working to punish rapists and protect these mothers from the rapist?

And lastly, to Dr. Erica Goldblatt Hyatt:

You say women can somehow have freedom through the vetoing of this bill and can just trust the science. Well to that I say, if you really are trusting the science, then you would know that science has proven over and over that life starts at conception and the unborn child as young as 12 weeks can feel pain. So you are torturing an innocent baby when you rip them apart, while alive, when you perform a "D and E" procedure. You use the pregnant rape victim as an excuse to keep even late-term abortion legal for any reason.

To those who have been raped, I can't tell you how sorry I am that it happened to you, but trust me, killing an innocent baby is not going to make the pain go away or make you forget it any faster. But I can tell you that the minute you hold that child, you will feel love, because I know I did when my daughter's baby was born.

At first, I didn't want to see her because I was afraid I wouldn't be able to love her, and all babies deserve to be loved by their families. But when I held her, that fear disappeared and all I saw was my daughter in her. Even with all of these issues, I would not give her up for anything. She is as much my child as my other two are and I know my daughter loves her as much as she does her brother.

 Life and death decisions should not be based on fear and prejudice, and neither should public policy. Shame on you Governor Wolf.

 BIO: Michele Snook is a mother of two, grandmother to one, and a pro-life blogger for Save The 1.
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Friday, November 17, 2017

From Victimhood to Motherhood, I Chose Joy, by Paula K. Peyton

During my pregnancy, I read stories of other women who had become pregnant by rape, sometimes twice daily.  Those stories were a source of hope and made me feel like I wasn't alone and reaffirmed that it was normal to love my child.  I'm writing my story now in the hope that other woman will know that they are not alone, but I also feel that I owe it to my son to advocate for babies like him.

Six years ago, through some friends who worked there, I took a volunteer position with Planned Parenthood as an outreach HIV tester and counselor, so I was out in the community and really never spent time at the clinic, except for the certification training.  Being in the abortion clinic made me uncomfortable to know that in another room down the hallway there is a baby dying.  I took the position because I wanted to help people know their status with HIV.

At that point in time, I described myself as “personally pro-life, but politically pro-choice.” I never would have encouraged someone to have an abortion, but I realize now that my silence on the issue of life had a real-life impact.  One day, when speaking to a rape victim who came to me for an HIV test and thought she might be pregnant, I was silent.  Years later, I knew I had been complicit in whatever occurred later when she followed up with clinic staff.  I used to think of her occasionally.  I knew what it was like to be raped because I had become a victim at the age of 16.  But I didn’t know what it was like -- as I used to think -- to “carry a rapist around inside of you.” 

Back then, even as someone who was “personally pro-life,” I thought it must be awful to be in such a position:  choose yourself and your sanity, or this child created in horror.  I would think, "How could anyone decide what to do there?"  In my mind, I certainly could understand someone making an appointment for an abortion.  The memory of that woman grieves me now, as I can see my own foolishness clearly.

This mind-clearing began in the summer of 2016 when I, as a single woman, unexpectedly got pregnant.  This reel of unfortunate events began with a guy and a stupid decision and ended with a miscarriage and heartbreak.  Few people in my life know about the baby I lost. I hid her away in my heart and tried to move on with my life, knowing that she was never meant to be.  After all, I have a diagnosed infertility problem.  Pregnancy was something I was supposed to work for and earn with years of doctors visits and prayer – in my mind anyway.  

Losing that baby, for a time, felt like payback for my prior involvement with Planned Parenthood and my ownership of a political position which championed the "right to choose."  

My family helped me have a tiny memorial service for the little girl I carry in my heart, and things started to click for me in my head.  If I believed my child’s life deserved to be memorialized even though she hadn’t taken a breath, didn’t all babies lost in the womb deserve the same?  And if I considered them to be living -- which would mean aborting them was a form of murder -- how could I remain complicit in the murder of babies?  

But what about those women who "NEEDED" to have abortions?  What about the women who shouldn’t be “forced to carry rapists’ babies,” who "definitely needed the procedure?" I had to table my thoughts and just be okay with it for their benefit.  Who better to speak for them than someone who had no idea what she was talking about?  I laugh at my ignorance-based arrogance now.

January 2017 rolled around, and I began my year with hopes of returning to college to finish my four-year degree in the fall.  I would spend the months in between trying to figure out if I wanted to prep for law school or try to pursue seminary education.  Yes, I have a faith background.  I made the decision to be baptized when I was 10, but I had always separated my religious beliefs from my politics.

I was getting to know a new guy who seemed nice enough.  It was going to be a productive year.  Halfway through January, I went out for a couple of drinks with a female friend on a Saturday.  We participated in a fundraiser to support native water rights activists, which involved making a donation to get Standing Rock tattoos.  With my arm covered in plastic wrap to protect the new ink as it began to heal, I stopped by this new guy’s apartment for a short visit.  He did what guys sometimes do – made a move.  My arm was hurting, and after my miscarriage, I had made a decision for purity and just did not want to go through that again.  So I declined his advances making it clear to him I wasn't interested in that and started toward the door to leave.  

I was completely shocked and frozen when his roommate came out from his bedroom with a gun in his hand and got between me and the door.  The guy I'd been with told me, "I don't think you're gonna leave right now."  I was terrified.  I thought, "This is it for me.  My life is going to end."  The whole time I was praying to God that I would live as the two of them raped me at gunpoint that night.  

When it was all over, the guy told me I could leave, and as I walked out, he said "Thanks for a great time."  In that moment, I felt like a huge piece of trash.  As I drove home, I got to the point where I didn't really feel much of anything, like I was merely existing and just numb. 

I went home and showered and showered and showered. I tried to call friends, but couldn't reach anyone and was not about to leave a message.  

At church that morning, I spoke to my priest who was very supportive of me as a rape victim.  But she actually took me to Walgreens to buy Plan B, which I never took because it wasn't something I was comfortable with.  I don't take birth control because I'm not comfortable with it.  I already knew Plan B  could have the effect of preventing implantation if an embryo was already created.  I was worried about STDs, and of course, I was concerned about pregnancy since I knew the timing and that I could be ovulating.  I'd had discussions with friends in the past about Plan B and we had talked about not knowing if you would have lost a baby or not, and I had already concluded that it would be horrible not knowing.

I guess I realized that what happened, happened, and that if I were pregnant, this was MY baby.  I don't know who my own biological father is, so to me, what's the difference?  Your genetic parents are not who define you and I already knew that.

Two weeks later, I found myself back in Walgreens, returning the Plan B, in exchange for pregnancy tests.  I'm sure the cashier was ready to Facebook that hilarious moment! 

“What if I’m pregnant?” I thought over and over.  Twenty minutes later, looking at a positive test in my bathroom, I was able to answer that question:  I was having a baby. . . .  And I was overflowing with joy!

In the days and weeks that followed, I slowly shared my news with my closest friends, and more often than not, they offered me pity-ridden faces and one question asked in a way that seemed as if they thought the answer was obvious: “What are you going to do?” I guess they assumed I’d respond with an appointment time, a clinic name, or some other portion of a carefully-arranged abortion plan.

“I’m choosing joy,” I’d say, and it would be instantly clear that my answer was the furthest thing from the one they were anticipating.  It seemed like everyone thought I was crazy, but nothing about wanting my child seemed strange to me.  They didn’t understand that the moment I had seen that positive pregnancy test, I realized just how faithful God is to us.

I felt so dead inside for the entirety of those two weeks between my victimhood and the discovery of my pending motherhood.  Everything I did in those two weeks seemed like an act of mourning.  Rape is devastating.  It’s the killing of one’s spirit in a deep, physical way. In contrast, pregnancy was such a revolutionary revival!  The Lord had taken one of the worst things in my life -- something so dark and damaging -- and He had created life.  After weeks of that darkness controlling everything I did, there was suddenly a light.

In a plot twist that the "old me" never saw coming, the only choice I -- as a pregnant rape victim -- needed to make was to embrace that light, and I did.  It took about a second and a half for my heart to fill with love for the little one growing underneath it – so much love that my heart couldn’t contain it all and it began spilling everywhere.  I smiled for the first time in two weeks, and I couldn’t stop.

Then the bleeding started. . . .

I was about 4.5 weeks pregnant and went to the bathroom at a friend’s birthday party only to discover blood.  My heart sank.  Was I having another miscarriage?  The bleeding wasn’t heavy.  I wasn’t cramping.  A quick google search from the bathroom led me to a hopeful place: sometimes this can happen and it’s not the end.  As the bleeding continued, I did a lot of praying while I waited for the day of my first ultrasound appointment to arrive.  At 6 weeks and 5 days, my little one had a heartbeat and my smile returned.

My gynecologist referred me to an obstetrician, and a week later I had another ultrasound at her office.  The bleeding had gotten heavier between the two appointments, but the baby was still okay.  My new OB told me that bleeding happens sometimes in the first trimester.  It’s not normal, but also not uncommon.  She said I shouldn’t worry unless it got heavier.  It did, time and time again.

Each time followed the same pattern: the discovery of extra heavy bleeding, tears, a call to the doctor, instructions to come in or (when outside of business hours) to go to the ER for an ultrasound -- a wait that was always too long, then a strong heartbeat, and a tearful prayer of thanksgiving.

I prayed every day for months that my child would survive.  All the while, I slowly informed a selection of people about my pregnancy.  One minute, I’d be begging God to protect my unborn child from death in the womb.  The next, I’d receive that question (“What are you going to do?”), followed soon after by the unwelcome advice to get an abortion "before it's too late."  Sometimes they’d offer to pay for it, as if finances could be the only reason I wasn’t killing my child.  The comments grew worse as the time passed:

“So you’re just going to give birth to the spawn of Satan? Abort it.”

“That thing is evil.”

“You should get rid of the devil baby.”

There are so many more, all permanently imprinted on my mind.  I cut quite a few people out of my life completely.  I had encountered enough pain during and immediately after my rape.  The pain of hearing their comments, some made even as late as 26 weeks (long after I was calling my son by his name), was too much to bear.  Having people tell me that my baby should be killed and comparing him to Satan was easily a thousand times worse than being raped.  My son had done nothing wrong!  How could he have?  He hadn’t even had the chance to draw a breath of air into his lungs!

Around the time I was 16-1/2 weeks, my OB had become more concerned about the constant bleeding since it could no longer be blamed on first trimester weirdness.  She did more tests and discovered that I had a particular sexually transmitted infection I contracted during the rape which hadn’t been covered by the preventative treatments I received in the days following the assault.  It had caused my cervix to become incredibly irritated and inflamed, and left untreated, it could lead to preterm labor and the death of a baby too small to survive outside the womb.  

The diagnosis took about a week, but the subsequent treatment didn’t quite rid my body of the infection.  It came roaring back, and the bleeding didn’t stop for good until a couple of days before I was 20 weeks pregnant, after two more rounds of pills.  Peace was short-lived because, at 20 weeks to the day, I got a stomach virus which landed me in the hospital for severe dehydration. Yet, somehow, my son's strong heartbeat prevailed.

Through all the terrifying moments, I was almost completely alone because too many people just didn’t understand how I could let this child continue to live, grow, and bounce around in my belly.  Pregnancy is hard, but it’s definitely harder when your friends listen to the culture surrounding us and don’t value life.

My son's movements got stronger, and I began to feel hiccups and turns.  Before long, I was 39 weeks and checking in to be induced at the hospital.  I didn’t accept offers for an epidural.  The nurses kept telling me I was “such a rockstar” for dealing with Pitocin contractions without pain medication.  

The truth is, no contraction is ever as painful as the experience of people telling me how much they hated my perfect and innocent son before he was born.  They thought I’d see my rapist in my son.  I didn't and I don’t. (He actually looks exactly like I did at his age.)  They thought I wouldn’t be able to love him.  I absolutely do! They thought temporary financial hardship was too much to handle.  It isn’t.  They thought he’d be born evil.  No baby has ever given a mama as much joy as he has brought into my life.

Every single one of these reasons is one that was used to justify targeting and killing him because people see him as having originated differently than others.  My son was conceived in rape, but his life -- like that of every other human being -- began with God.  And like any other baby, people fall in love with him easily -- including some of the people who offered to pay a doctor to kill him.  He shows people how wrong they were every single day.  

That list includes his mama because I once thought the same way.

My son, Caleb Ehren Matthew, whose name means whole-hearted, honorable gift of God, is sun-shiny days and magic wands and a deep breath of mountain air.  He is joy after and in the midst of mourning.  He is light -- so much light.

I recently read this quote often misattributed to Plato but of unknown authorship: “We can easily forgive a child who is afraid of the dark; the real tragedy of life is when men are afraid of the light.”

That’s the one thing I pray Caleb’s life can teach others:  there’s no reason to fear the blessing of light, even and especially when it comes in the form of a child.

BIO:  Paula K. Peyton is a writer, mother to Caleb and now a pro-life blogger for Save The 1.  She resides in Memphis, TN.


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