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Showing posts with label mother from rape. Show all posts
Showing posts with label mother from rape. Show all posts
Friday, August 3, 2018
10 Argentine Women Conceived in Rape and Mothers From Rape Speak Up! by Rebecca Kiessling
My name is Rebecca Kiessling, I am a wife, a mother of five children -- two of them adopted, and I am the president of SaveThe1 (Salvar El 1 in Spanish) an international pro-life organization which specializes in defending all of the so-called "hard cases" through sharing our personal stories.
A good number of members are from Argentina, and they are outraged to see the proposed law to
expand abortion to be legal in all cases up to 14 weeks, and in cases of rape from 14 weeks to up until birth. It was bad enough when the law first began targeting the innocent child conceived in rape.
For those like us who have been conceived in a rape, it is hard to know that currently the "exceptions" are allowed through 14 weeks when a pregnant woman merely says she was raped. And for those told that their child would be disabled, it's horrifying to know that if a doctor diagnoses that the baby has malformations "incompatible with life" or if it affirms that the mother is in danger of dying, then the child can be killed up to 14 weeks. These three allegations may or may not be true, but all three are discriminating against the most vulnerable people in society who are the ones who would require more effective protection.
On August 8th, the Argentine Senate will vote on whether abortion will be legal in any case and up to birth for the so-called "exceptions." If approved, Argentina would be the fifth Latin American country to decriminalize abortion without these restrictions, after Cuba, Uruguay, Guyana, Chile and some parts of Mexico -- and the killing of unborn children will be rampant.
Save The 1 is an organization of over 600 people who were conceived in a rape like me, mothers who conceived a child after being raped and who are raising their children, mothers who after giving birth placed the child for adoption and others, who regret aborting. In addition, we have hundreds of mothers who were advised to abort because of a poor pre-natal diagnosis. We value life and we hope that the Argentine Senate will protect life without discrimination.
Our Facebook page in Spanish, Salvar El 1, now has almost 68,000 followers. Since the groundbreaking news that Argentina seeks to legalize abortion, we have received a flood of stories from Argentina from those who want to share their testimonies with us. They have been encouraged to come forward by reading my story and those of many others in our organization. Many voices are rising in Argentina, but, most importantly, the voices of the most innocent are going to be heard and the voice will be raised in defense of those Argentine unborn children who still can not raise it and who are at risk.
Like me, Karina Estrella Etchepare (whom I nicknamed "Argentine Rebecca") was conceived in rape, placed for adoption, is a family law attorney, and is now a strong voice speaking out in Argentina. Her mother was raped by her own stepfather at age 14. Karina testified recently in Congress when the new bill was up for a hearing. She asked Congress: "Does anyone dare to tell me that their life is worth more than mine because I am the result of a violation?" She explained to them that "the mother and child are both victims of the rapist. For that reason, it is necessary to protect them both. No one has the right to say that one life is worth less than the other, much less that of the fruit of a rape, because that baby does not know how she was conceived. If the rapist, with luck, is sentenced to 15 years in prison, why is the innocent baby sentenced to death?"
Margarita Juncos, from Argentina, was also conceived in rape. Her mother was 17 years old when she was raped and gave birth to her daughter alone at a women's help center. Sadly, she passed away after two months as the result of a heart problem, and Margarita was raised by her maternal grandfather. As an adult, wife and mother, she learned the truth of her conception and birth. She values the gift of life that her mother gave her in the worst circumstances and has even forgiven her biological father.
Adriana Shinki, from Argentina, was conceived in a rape when her mother was only 11 years old. Unable to take care of her, her mother left Adriana in an orphanage where she knew they were going to raise her and care for her. After many years, she had the good fortune to meet her mother and recounted in the blog of Save the 1: "How can I be angry with the woman who gave me life?".
From the feelings of someone who was conceived in violence, but raised in love, Adriana advises all those who question the exceptions: "If there is a woman who has been raped and who is expecting a child who is the fruit of that act and who is reading my story, I would say that having that child will be the realization that something good can come from something bad, and a child is the most beautiful thing in the world and she will never regret not killing her child. That child is hers, no matter how he or she arrives, and is the one who will love her for the simple reason that she is his or her mother. To people who are the result of a violation I would say, obviously, they are not to blame for how they were conceived and their life is worth no more or less than others. They are the same because we are all human and have the right to live our lives."
María de la Paz Rodríguez, also from Argentina, was conceived in a rape and placed for adoption.
Today she is happily married and is the mother of two girls. She herself explains to the world, proudly: "My daughters are pro-life -- the granddaughters of a raped grandmother, who chose not to abort and placed their mother (me) for adoption. Otherwise, my daughters would not exist!"
"Happily adopted! I am a privileged person of life -- because I had two mothers: one who gave me life and another who gave me her life. Who dares to tell me that I should not be born as an unwanted baby conceived during a rape? I am not an abomination of nature because I am not begotten with love. It is better to ADOPT than to ABORT, because every life is worthy!"
Anahí Retsar, also from Argentina, became pregnant after a rape at the young age of 14 years. She contacted Save The 1 to tell us her story. In her words: "It never crossed my mind to kill that child because being raped and being a murderer and blaming someone who does not deserve it, are different things. The child is not to blame for his father's wrongdoing and does not have to pay for his crime." Today Anahí is married, she is the mother of several children -- some whom she adopted and her eldest son, Catrial, has already made her grandmother!
Sofia, also from Argentina, was raped five years ago. Six months after her rape and in a situation of depression and despair for what was done to her, she learned in a routine medical examination that she was expecting a child as a result of her rape. Against everything that others would expect, "That baby became my motive for life, to love my own life, and became the love of my life! My son is now 4 years old and his name is Ian, which means "sent from heaven." He is the miracle that God gave me after a misfortune and my strength to move forward. I'm still in treatment to overcome what happened, but with him, my life went from being a nightmare to being a dream."
As in the case of Sofia, many mothers from rape report how that unexpected and unplanned child -- conceived through an act of barbarism, was her motive for moving forward and the only good thing that came out of that horrendous act. The baby conceived is the triumph of good against evil.
Claudelina Sanabria, a resident of Argentina, was raped at age 11 and became pregnant. Without knowing what had happened, she found herself in front of the juvenile guardian judge who encouraged her to have an abortion. But when he explained what an abortion was, she knew that it meant killing the child she had in her womb. With the choppy words of a scared girl but the wisdom of a mature woman, she rejected abortion and gave birth to her baby. "If I had to advise a girl who expects a child after a rape, I would tell her to be strong and to choose life. You will not regret it. I rejected abortion, survived my rape, and there is nothing like giving birth and being a mother! I wish I could make all those people understand that nobody has the right to take the life of an innocent person."
Viviana Victoria, also from Argentina, suffered sexual abuse since she was 12 years old by a family friend much older than her and was pregnant at the age of 14. But far from being defended by her family or the authorities, she was forced to marry her rapist. The forced marriage and the situation of mistreatment that she suffered almost destroyed her physical and mental health, but, again, her son conceived by violence was her savior. She related her story to Save The 1: "The child I gave birth to came to take away those desires to commit suicide that I had, along with all my unhappiness. He saved my life and gave me hope despite the way he came into this world."
Akli Ahlet from Argentina became pregnant after being raped in a car and had to overcome not only the aftermath of a rape and her memory, but the contempt of society towards her son conceived in violence who was stigmatized even by the doctors themselves who pressured her to abort. She also wrote her story for Save the 1's blog: "The doctor told me that my son was disgusting -- and all for a crime he did not commit. The doctor said he was not going to survive since he already had low blood sugars. I started to cry and to say that I did not understand why he was against my son if he had not done anything wrong."
Alba -- a birthmother from rape is also from Argentina and recently shared her story with us. She
was raped from the age of 7, kept from attending school, left perpetually hungry, and eventually became pregnant at 10 years old. When her father took her for an abortion, she realized that they were going to kill her child, and she managed to escape -- fleeing to her grandmother's home. Her grandmother was beaten for sheltering her and threatened not to go to the authorities to report the rape. But once Alba gave birth to her precious daughter at the age 11, the hospital reported the rapes. She and her daughter were placed with a loving family, where Alba was able to make a permanent adoption plan. She writes: "I thank God because I had a second chance to have a family, mom, dad and siblings who helped me grow up and realize that life is beautiful." Alba received an education, a degree and owns her own business.
"I know that my daughter is growing up in a good family surrounded by love and values. Thanks to the fact that I did not allow an abortion and I said yes to life, my daughter was born and her birth revealed the abuses and the situation of mistreatment that I suffered. Thanks to the fact that the Hospital made the accusation and the Juvenile Justice intervened, I was able to get out of the hell in which I lived and today I am happy."
This is what Alba has to say to the Argentine Congress: "Dear legislators, I leave you with this reflection: Why don't you transform those unwanted children, fruit of barbarism, products of rape into desired and beloved children through the bond of adoption? An evil is not remedied with another evil. I, at ten years old and illiterate, defended my daughter's life. Today I ask you who have the duty to legislate to defend life from the moment of conception. Legislate from love and not from the culture of death."
Please understand that legalizing abortion for rape cases and other exceptions only teaches that the falsity there are lives that are worth more than others. Can you imagine creating "exceptions" for Asian or African or Jewish babies? The message is that they are not worthy of life, and that you do not have to protect their lives. There would be an international outcry if, someday, this were proposed. Yes, it is the same in our case. And we feel that there is great apathy when it comes to valuing our life. Mothers who have children conceived in a rape claim that they are themselves targeted and despised and they are questioned for not having an abortion and because they love that child.
We appreciate the empathy with the victims of a rape, but they are four times more likely to die within the next year after an abortion. In the book of Dr. David Reardon, Victims and Victors, he cites the studies conducted on this. After an abortion, rape victims have a higher rate of suicide and drug addiction. Rapists, pedophiles and sex traffickers love abortion because it destroys the evidence of the crime and empowers them to continue. Often, a girl's own mother has also allowed her to be violated or left her unprotected. It is the baby in these situations who offers evidence of the rape. If we really want to protect the victim from abuse, we must defend her from her rapist and abortion, and not from her child.
Argentina, you are a great nation, much better than others, because you have established a culture
where people are loved and valued. The Argentinian women who have given their testimony above have been able to share their stories of love for life because they all love their lives and love their children no matter how they were conceived. Please, do not accept the culture of death and discrimination again. We urge you to tell your senators NOT to vote in favor of the decriminalization of abortion. Vote NO on the legalization of the death of an innocent. Do not let the blood of innocent Argentine babies be shed on your soil.
BIO: Rebecca Kiessling is a wife, mother of 5, conceived in rape, attorney, international pro-life speaker and writer, and president of Save The 1 / Salvar El 1.
A good number of members are from Argentina, and they are outraged to see the proposed law to
For those like us who have been conceived in a rape, it is hard to know that currently the "exceptions" are allowed through 14 weeks when a pregnant woman merely says she was raped. And for those told that their child would be disabled, it's horrifying to know that if a doctor diagnoses that the baby has malformations "incompatible with life" or if it affirms that the mother is in danger of dying, then the child can be killed up to 14 weeks. These three allegations may or may not be true, but all three are discriminating against the most vulnerable people in society who are the ones who would require more effective protection.
On August 8th, the Argentine Senate will vote on whether abortion will be legal in any case and up to birth for the so-called "exceptions." If approved, Argentina would be the fifth Latin American country to decriminalize abortion without these restrictions, after Cuba, Uruguay, Guyana, Chile and some parts of Mexico -- and the killing of unborn children will be rampant.
Save The 1 is an organization of over 600 people who were conceived in a rape like me, mothers who conceived a child after being raped and who are raising their children, mothers who after giving birth placed the child for adoption and others, who regret aborting. In addition, we have hundreds of mothers who were advised to abort because of a poor pre-natal diagnosis. We value life and we hope that the Argentine Senate will protect life without discrimination.
Our Facebook page in Spanish, Salvar El 1, now has almost 68,000 followers. Since the groundbreaking news that Argentina seeks to legalize abortion, we have received a flood of stories from Argentina from those who want to share their testimonies with us. They have been encouraged to come forward by reading my story and those of many others in our organization. Many voices are rising in Argentina, but, most importantly, the voices of the most innocent are going to be heard and the voice will be raised in defense of those Argentine unborn children who still can not raise it and who are at risk.
Margarita Juncos, from Argentina, was also conceived in rape. Her mother was 17 years old when she was raped and gave birth to her daughter alone at a women's help center. Sadly, she passed away after two months as the result of a heart problem, and Margarita was raised by her maternal grandfather. As an adult, wife and mother, she learned the truth of her conception and birth. She values the gift of life that her mother gave her in the worst circumstances and has even forgiven her biological father.
Adriana Shinki, from Argentina, was conceived in a rape when her mother was only 11 years old. Unable to take care of her, her mother left Adriana in an orphanage where she knew they were going to raise her and care for her. After many years, she had the good fortune to meet her mother and recounted in the blog of Save the 1: "How can I be angry with the woman who gave me life?".
From the feelings of someone who was conceived in violence, but raised in love, Adriana advises all those who question the exceptions: "If there is a woman who has been raped and who is expecting a child who is the fruit of that act and who is reading my story, I would say that having that child will be the realization that something good can come from something bad, and a child is the most beautiful thing in the world and she will never regret not killing her child. That child is hers, no matter how he or she arrives, and is the one who will love her for the simple reason that she is his or her mother. To people who are the result of a violation I would say, obviously, they are not to blame for how they were conceived and their life is worth no more or less than others. They are the same because we are all human and have the right to live our lives."
María de la Paz Rodríguez, also from Argentina, was conceived in a rape and placed for adoption.
"Happily adopted! I am a privileged person of life -- because I had two mothers: one who gave me life and another who gave me her life. Who dares to tell me that I should not be born as an unwanted baby conceived during a rape? I am not an abomination of nature because I am not begotten with love. It is better to ADOPT than to ABORT, because every life is worthy!"
Anahí Retsar, also from Argentina, became pregnant after a rape at the young age of 14 years. She contacted Save The 1 to tell us her story. In her words: "It never crossed my mind to kill that child because being raped and being a murderer and blaming someone who does not deserve it, are different things. The child is not to blame for his father's wrongdoing and does not have to pay for his crime." Today Anahí is married, she is the mother of several children -- some whom she adopted and her eldest son, Catrial, has already made her grandmother!
Sofia, also from Argentina, was raped five years ago. Six months after her rape and in a situation of depression and despair for what was done to her, she learned in a routine medical examination that she was expecting a child as a result of her rape. Against everything that others would expect, "That baby became my motive for life, to love my own life, and became the love of my life! My son is now 4 years old and his name is Ian, which means "sent from heaven." He is the miracle that God gave me after a misfortune and my strength to move forward. I'm still in treatment to overcome what happened, but with him, my life went from being a nightmare to being a dream."
As in the case of Sofia, many mothers from rape report how that unexpected and unplanned child -- conceived through an act of barbarism, was her motive for moving forward and the only good thing that came out of that horrendous act. The baby conceived is the triumph of good against evil.
Claudelina Sanabria, a resident of Argentina, was raped at age 11 and became pregnant. Without knowing what had happened, she found herself in front of the juvenile guardian judge who encouraged her to have an abortion. But when he explained what an abortion was, she knew that it meant killing the child she had in her womb. With the choppy words of a scared girl but the wisdom of a mature woman, she rejected abortion and gave birth to her baby. "If I had to advise a girl who expects a child after a rape, I would tell her to be strong and to choose life. You will not regret it. I rejected abortion, survived my rape, and there is nothing like giving birth and being a mother! I wish I could make all those people understand that nobody has the right to take the life of an innocent person."
Viviana Victoria, also from Argentina, suffered sexual abuse since she was 12 years old by a family friend much older than her and was pregnant at the age of 14. But far from being defended by her family or the authorities, she was forced to marry her rapist. The forced marriage and the situation of mistreatment that she suffered almost destroyed her physical and mental health, but, again, her son conceived by violence was her savior. She related her story to Save The 1: "The child I gave birth to came to take away those desires to commit suicide that I had, along with all my unhappiness. He saved my life and gave me hope despite the way he came into this world."
Akli Ahlet from Argentina became pregnant after being raped in a car and had to overcome not only the aftermath of a rape and her memory, but the contempt of society towards her son conceived in violence who was stigmatized even by the doctors themselves who pressured her to abort. She also wrote her story for Save the 1's blog: "The doctor told me that my son was disgusting -- and all for a crime he did not commit. The doctor said he was not going to survive since he already had low blood sugars. I started to cry and to say that I did not understand why he was against my son if he had not done anything wrong."
Alba -- a birthmother from rape is also from Argentina and recently shared her story with us. She
"I know that my daughter is growing up in a good family surrounded by love and values. Thanks to the fact that I did not allow an abortion and I said yes to life, my daughter was born and her birth revealed the abuses and the situation of mistreatment that I suffered. Thanks to the fact that the Hospital made the accusation and the Juvenile Justice intervened, I was able to get out of the hell in which I lived and today I am happy."
This is what Alba has to say to the Argentine Congress: "Dear legislators, I leave you with this reflection: Why don't you transform those unwanted children, fruit of barbarism, products of rape into desired and beloved children through the bond of adoption? An evil is not remedied with another evil. I, at ten years old and illiterate, defended my daughter's life. Today I ask you who have the duty to legislate to defend life from the moment of conception. Legislate from love and not from the culture of death."
Please understand that legalizing abortion for rape cases and other exceptions only teaches that the falsity there are lives that are worth more than others. Can you imagine creating "exceptions" for Asian or African or Jewish babies? The message is that they are not worthy of life, and that you do not have to protect their lives. There would be an international outcry if, someday, this were proposed. Yes, it is the same in our case. And we feel that there is great apathy when it comes to valuing our life. Mothers who have children conceived in a rape claim that they are themselves targeted and despised and they are questioned for not having an abortion and because they love that child.
We appreciate the empathy with the victims of a rape, but they are four times more likely to die within the next year after an abortion. In the book of Dr. David Reardon, Victims and Victors, he cites the studies conducted on this. After an abortion, rape victims have a higher rate of suicide and drug addiction. Rapists, pedophiles and sex traffickers love abortion because it destroys the evidence of the crime and empowers them to continue. Often, a girl's own mother has also allowed her to be violated or left her unprotected. It is the baby in these situations who offers evidence of the rape. If we really want to protect the victim from abuse, we must defend her from her rapist and abortion, and not from her child.
Argentina, you are a great nation, much better than others, because you have established a culture
BIO: Rebecca Kiessling is a wife, mother of 5, conceived in rape, attorney, international pro-life speaker and writer, and president of Save The 1 / Salvar El 1.
Monday, October 2, 2017
Irish Pro-Choice Advocates Try to Silence Victims of Rape by Sarah St. Onge
Irish Pro-Choice Advocates Try To Silence Rape Victims, by Sarah St. Onge
A fierce battle is
being waged in Ireland over the “8th Amendment”. Unlike the US, and most of its
European neighbors, Ireland formally recognizes the preborn child as a human
being with his/her own inherent value and right to life. The 8th amendment prohibits abortion from
conception and through all 9 months of pregnancy, under any circumstances save
when the life of the mother is threatened.
While we’re mourning the death of a dissolute human
trafficker, and feigning outrage over the latest NFL decision, Ireland is
deciding whether to continue protecting its most vulnerable citizens or join
the 21st century abortion death-cult led
by Planned Parenthood.
Irish pro-lifers (ie the majority of rational Irish citizens)
have come out en force. They have spent months knocking on doors to inform the
public about the issue. They’ve secured television and print ads, as well as
held rallies. Their rallying cry- "Love them Both" is one of
compassion and understanding.
However- they’ve been met with fierce opposition by radical
pro-abortion groups who have decided to use the most aggressive of tactics to
silence them.
“I knew this campaign
was going to be divisive, that there would be nastiness and vitriol battered at
prolifers. The level of abuse is truly off the scale though. Is this still
Ireland?? Or have we woken up in another country? Frightening is an
understatement, women who have been pregnant through rape or conceived through
rape are reduced to standing on the street to deliver their stories? Is this
some Soviet state where freedom of speech is punishable? Is this what freedom
was fought and won for in Ireland?
Absolutely terrifying and sickening, and no date as yet set for an
actual referendum, all of this from a minority of rabble rousers and anarchists
allowed to screech and bully...we've been funding these miseries for much too
long.”
This statement from an Irish pro-life activist, who wishes
to remain anonymous, in response to the numerous threats and intimidations
visited on American pro-life speaker Rebecca Kiessling of Save the 1. She traveled to Ireland this week as part of the “Unbroken- Life Beyond Rape” tour, arranged by Life Institute. She was scheduled to speak on the realities of pregnancy and abortion after a sexual
assault in two separate venues.
Instead, pro-choice activists decided to silence her, publicly bragging about removing posters, which were placed to advertise
the event. In addition, they began a campaign of harassment- including sending
death threats to individuals they identified through social media who were
staff at the hotels where their speaking engagements were to be heard, causing
both hotels and a third alternate, to rescind their contract with the Unbroken
–Life Beyond Rape group.
Women are naturally inclined to love and protect their
offspring. They must be conditioned by external forces to despise them.
The abortion lobby teaches women to view their children as
invaders or aggressors, instead of victims of circumstance, especially in cases
where a sexual assault has occurred.
Children conceived during an assault have the same inherent
value as those who are conceived during a consensual act of passion. They are
human beings.
Women who have been assaulted deserve better than an
abortion. They need help to integrate their violation into their lives. We
don’t need to become destroyers of life in order to regain power over our own
lives.
Unfortunately the vitriol continued, with gruesome comments
left on Save the 1’s Facebook page- there were threats of violence aimed at
both women, and no attempts to excuse the threats and destruction of pro-life
property. In fact, those responsible for doing so were proud of their actions.
Their official responses delivered with flippancy. We’re not linking to their
sites or pages. We won’t give them the satisfaction of sharing.
The truth is- the Repeal movement really doesn’t care about
women. If they did, they wouldn’t send their men out to re-violate a rape
survivor, by in essence telling her that her story doesn’t matter and
her right to speak her truth is subordinate to others. They wouldn't tell a
woman conceived in rape that her mere image offends them, if they cared about
women.
Ms. Kiessling did not travel to Ireland to
bring an American viewpoint to the debate. They all came to offer their testimony
in the court of opinion- their personal and traumatic testimony- in hopes of
letting Irish women who may have been through similar circumstances, that they
aren’t alone. Their stories matter. One Irish woman wrote, after meeting them, “I felt that I belonged yesterday and was not ashamed to say I was raped and I could never talk to anyone about it in Ireland until yesterday. You helped me cry out openly...”
They also went to create a dialogue with
those who may be on the fence, or even those who oppose them, in hopes of
changing hearts and minds and bringing them to a place of love.
Unfortunately the Repeal movement has decided to offer them
only threats of violence in response...... just like with the men who violated them,
these women have been told to "keep quiet or else." Fortunately these
women are much stronger than those who try to silence them will ever be. And
for Ireland's children, women like them may make all the difference.
Monday, October 3, 2016
Her Spirit was Crushed, but Healing Begins ~by Melanie Clark Metzbower
A 13-year-old girl’s free spirit is nearly crushed by a horrific rape, but healing begins where she’d least expect it…
It's 1941. Wildflower McAllister is a free-spirit who just turned 13. Though she’s left with a bitter mother after her Daddy’s fatal accident, she draws strength from his memory. Like all little girls, she dreams, she wonders, she has secrets. She also has fears, two to be exact: “One is dying young. The other is Johnny Monroe.”
Wildflower has a secret shortcut to get to her father’s grave, where she goes to talk to him and God. One day she arrives to find her fears realized. There’s Johnny, and fight though she may, there’s no escape. She’s attacked, and forced to grow up much too soon.
Battered, bruised, and left for dead, she’s finally found by her family who vow to bring her attacker to justice. She feels broken, every last bit of her. Her mother blames her unjustly. Her community shuns her. It feels as though God has abandoned her, too.
Then, the unthinkable—she finds herself pregnant by her abuser.
She didn’t want to get raped, she didn’t want to get pregnant. But she knew without a doubt that her baby did not deserve to die for the sins of its father. And that strength, that determination, that baby, set her free again.
To say I was refreshed by this book is an understatement. In a society that glorifies selfishness, this Kirkus “Best Book of 2012” celebrates something completely different. I kept finding myself surprised as I read: Surely, she will get away…. Surely, she won’t be pregnant…Surely, the baby will be miscarried, or aborted, or at the very least, given up? She wouldn’t actually demand to mother her child, being just a child herself? You bet she did.
Through the eyes of a 13-year-old girl, we get a glimpse into the world of a mother from rape. Her strength, and her commitment to her child are inspiring:
Wildflower’s mother, along with the local doctor, pressure her to have an abortion, and her response is to “…cuss them both out to their faces...”
“If there is a baby inside me, I want to keep it safe, even though a part of me hates it for even existing.”
“…I decided not to blame the baby for being there. Just like me, it had no choice in the matter.”
“As hard as I wish it never happened, I can’t wish this baby away. It would be like trying to wish away the river in front of us.”—could there be a more profound observation?
In a moment of mercy, she even feels sympathy for her attacker—knowing he was raised by a mother who never loved him, and later abandoned him.
We live in a world where independence and self-fulfillment must be achieved at all costs; where pregnancies only contain “babies” if they are:
-Planned
-Wanted
-Without any chance of defect (determined by prenatal testing)
-Conceived in love by two consenting adults (or, with parts donated by parent A and parent B, mixed and implanted into parent C, to be raised by parents D and E)
If any of those factors are missing, society tells us pregnancy is simply: A clump of cells, defined only by the mother’s feelings; disposable; acceptable to destroy. And if that pregnancy came to be through rape? Even in the pro-life community, many turn away from their convictions, conscience, and scientific truths to allow that child to be killed.
To me, being pro-life has never been a question—it’s where my heart is. It’s who I am. No matter the circumstances, babies are babies: Precious and beautiful, created in God’s own image. Every baby is worth protecting, celebrating, and loving.
I never imagined when I picked up this little novel for a book club that it would have such a profound effect on me. The characters come alive, as they do only in the best books. The prose is rich, transporting the reader right to Katy’s Ridge, Tennessee. Wildflower’s keen observations, subtle humor, and strength of character make The Secret Sense of Wildflower a joy to read. The best surprise of all, though, was the undeniable life-affirming message that is the story’s very core.
P.S. Lily’s Song, the story of Wildflower’s daughter, was just released—I can’t wait!
BIO: Melanie Clark Metzbower is a wife, mother, and Hyperemesis Gravidarum (HG) survivor. Before her daughter was born, she was an active volunteer with Maryland Pro-Life Alliance PAC. In her free moments, she enjoys reading, writing, cooking, and travel.
Sunday, January 17, 2016
My Son is My Most Precious Treasure, Though Conceived From Step-Father Rape, by Yohanka Reyes
Trials are a way for God’s name to be glorified. It’s called purpose! My name is Yoi Reyes and my husband Pete and I are the founders of Mary's Pregnancy Resource Center in Fort Lauderdale, Florida. It is my prayer that as you read my story and what the Lord has done, you will be encouraged. The reason why I was called to serve this specific population of women experiencing unplanned pregnancies is because I, like these women, had to face many of the hardships that they are presently facing.
I was born in Havana, Cuba. My father was a Captain for the Navy and my mother was an English teacher for the Naval Academy. However, when I was only 3 years old, my parents divorced. That was the first wound of many. My father was my hero and I remember sitting at the front door of my house and crying as I waited for him to come home from work, and when he did, I would cry for him to take his shirt off as a sign that he was going to stay. He did every time, but then the nightmare would start all over again whenever I woke up, and he wasn't there.
My mother couldn't deal with the divorce and ended up at a military psychiatric center where she met my step-father who was a Captain for the western district of the Police Force in Havana. He had also been admitted to this psychiatric center because he was dealing with chronic depression as a result of his own divorce. Not long after they were both discharged, they married and he moved in with us. I was about 4 years old.
Soon after, my step-father began to sexually molest me. At such a young age, I could not understand what was happening. I was too young to make much of it and he was smart enough to know how to confuse me, by making me think that he loved me as my father. He was a father in every other area, so in my mind that was the way it was, although I felt uncomfortable and fearful. As if that was not enough, around the same time a neighbor and close friend of the family also sexually molested me.
Years passed by and the abuse continued, so I escaped into a world I created where books were the only thing that mattered. I would read all kinds of books and study as much as I could. Year after year, I would receive the highest report card score of my grade, so everyone assumed that I was "fine." I did not show much interest in playing with other kids, but everyone also assumed that I was sociable because I enjoyed talking and spending time with the adults.
At 9 years old, as my stepfather was abusing me, I got upset and told him that I was going to tell my dad about it and that I didn't like what he was doing to me. In response, he put his gun to my head and told me that if I ever told anyone, he would kill my family and then kill himself. From that moment on, I felt responsible for the well-being of my family which placed an impossible burden to carry at my young age.
My mother, on the other hand, asked me not to testify or rather to lie and tell the judge I didn't remember the abuse that I had received from my neighbor. She thought it was better to "forgive." Of course, what message did I get from that? So I thought, "Why bother telling anyone what my step-father was doing to me? No one cares.” After all, my own mother had just coerced me to forgive the same offense by lying to the judge.
My teen years arrived and with it, you can guess: lots of rebelliousness. I was angry, disrespectful and began to smoke cigarettes. By then, I fully understood what was being done to me and I didn't know how to deal with it. I was now 13 years old and so, my step-father decided to take it to the next level. The abuse went from molestation to rape involving intercourse. As that continued, I eventually got pregnant. I had a boyfriend with whom I was having sexual relations as well. My step-father was not sure who the father of the baby was, and did not want to risk being caught. So he convinced my mother, and they took me to a clinic to have an abortion. It worked – no one knew how he’d been raping me. The abortion protected him, and the rape continued.
I was born in Havana, Cuba. My father was a Captain for the Navy and my mother was an English teacher for the Naval Academy. However, when I was only 3 years old, my parents divorced. That was the first wound of many. My father was my hero and I remember sitting at the front door of my house and crying as I waited for him to come home from work, and when he did, I would cry for him to take his shirt off as a sign that he was going to stay. He did every time, but then the nightmare would start all over again whenever I woke up, and he wasn't there.
My mother couldn't deal with the divorce and ended up at a military psychiatric center where she met my step-father who was a Captain for the western district of the Police Force in Havana. He had also been admitted to this psychiatric center because he was dealing with chronic depression as a result of his own divorce. Not long after they were both discharged, they married and he moved in with us. I was about 4 years old.
Soon after, my step-father began to sexually molest me. At such a young age, I could not understand what was happening. I was too young to make much of it and he was smart enough to know how to confuse me, by making me think that he loved me as my father. He was a father in every other area, so in my mind that was the way it was, although I felt uncomfortable and fearful. As if that was not enough, around the same time a neighbor and close friend of the family also sexually molested me.
Years passed by and the abuse continued, so I escaped into a world I created where books were the only thing that mattered. I would read all kinds of books and study as much as I could. Year after year, I would receive the highest report card score of my grade, so everyone assumed that I was "fine." I did not show much interest in playing with other kids, but everyone also assumed that I was sociable because I enjoyed talking and spending time with the adults.
At 9 years old, as my stepfather was abusing me, I got upset and told him that I was going to tell my dad about it and that I didn't like what he was doing to me. In response, he put his gun to my head and told me that if I ever told anyone, he would kill my family and then kill himself. From that moment on, I felt responsible for the well-being of my family which placed an impossible burden to carry at my young age.
My mother, on the other hand, asked me not to testify or rather to lie and tell the judge I didn't remember the abuse that I had received from my neighbor. She thought it was better to "forgive." Of course, what message did I get from that? So I thought, "Why bother telling anyone what my step-father was doing to me? No one cares.” After all, my own mother had just coerced me to forgive the same offense by lying to the judge.
My teen years arrived and with it, you can guess: lots of rebelliousness. I was angry, disrespectful and began to smoke cigarettes. By then, I fully understood what was being done to me and I didn't know how to deal with it. I was now 13 years old and so, my step-father decided to take it to the next level. The abuse went from molestation to rape involving intercourse. As that continued, I eventually got pregnant. I had a boyfriend with whom I was having sexual relations as well. My step-father was not sure who the father of the baby was, and did not want to risk being caught. So he convinced my mother, and they took me to a clinic to have an abortion. It worked – no one knew how he’d been raping me. The abortion protected him, and the rape continued.
I was very confused when they took me for the abortion. The only thing I remember is a deep anxiety and desire to know whether it was a boy or a girl, and that desire actually never went away. I was put under anesthesia, but I remember being depressed afterwards and having horrible nightmares -- always the same ones where I would fall into a deep dark hole at a very fast speed.
By the time that I was 15 years old, I got pregnant again. This time, the doctors didn't want to perform another abortion because I was too young and underweight. When my son was growing inside of me, I was happy and couldn't wait to meet him. I did have a fear that he would look like my stepfather, but when he was born on November 21, 1990, that all went away, and I was madly in love with him.
Years passed by and I always wondered who the real father was, always fearful that it could be my step-father. To this day, I haven’t had a DNA paternity test, although many genetic similarities lead me to believe he is biologically my step-father's. But it doesn't matter -- I know who his mother is and I love my son with all of my heart!
The next years were hard; I was practically out of control, spending very little time in my house, partying, drinking, and everything else that comes with it. It was at the age of 18 when I got involved with a man that was 15 years older than me and at 19, I left the country in a raft with him. Out of desperation, I left behind everything, including my 4 year old son. This was just the beginning of another journey full of pain and abuse. The man was a drug dealer and I was smoking lots of marijuana, but through it all, I always managed to work and help my family in Cuba.
This 7 year abusive relationship left many physical, emotional and psychological scars. I didn't have anyone in this country and was more fearful of the outside world than of the abuse I was facing. After all, as far back as I could remember, abuse had always been a part of my life. I couldn't resist anymore and suicidal thoughts were visiting me very often, so I decided I was going to leave this guy, but I was afraid because he was very dangerous and aggressive. However, I did find help to leave, and met my husband Pete during that process.
Because of our histories, my husband and I decided that we needed help and we pursued counseling. Two years of counseling and 60 weeks of Life Skills Classes gave us healing and an understanding that things did not have to stay the way they were, and that we can use our tests and turn them into testimonies -- allowing those experiences to be used for God's glory to help others understand that with help, they too can overcome their painful histories. It is just a matter of being humble and recognizing that we need help.
While receiving counseling, I was working as a Case Manager for a shelter and they acquired a grant to help women experiencing unplanned pregnancies. They assigned me to that program and I found myself right at home. However, the more I did, the more I wanted to do for these clients, but could not spread my wings. It was through a time of prayer when I felt this urge. I couldn't change my past, but I could become in the future something that I longed for many times -- someone who cared. I made up my mind that I was going to be that someone.
I spoke to my husband and pastor regarding opening a Crisis Pregnancy Center at our church and they supported me. My husband worked long hours in a room of our church transforming it into a beautiful center and we began helping the women of our community, but the financial situation was tight. We were financing the ministry primarily out of our personal savings account. Several months later, we applied and received a grant from the Florida Pregnancy Support Services Program. I can share with you testimony after testimony of lives that have been saved and healing that have taken place.
We now rent a 3/4 acre facility where we counsel and case manage the clients, educate, refer and provide many resources. We have celebrated weddings, baby showers, childbirth and even serve stillborn services. I can understand the pain of these women. I can see that there is more than a rebellious young lady, or a lazy woman, or a promiscuous one. I share with them the trials, but also the victory.
My husband and I have been married for 14 years now. I hadn't seen my son for a long 12 years, but then with my husband's help, I was able to bring my son to the United States since I became an American Citizen. We were able to buy our own house several years ago and have work for God and ministry for the last 10 years. I overcame, and have seen that by sharing my story with our clients, it gives them hope and encourages them to keep fighting and to turn their lives into something beautiful. I also like to share my story because many people are quick to judge another person's life without knowing the root of the problem or the wounds that the person has suffered. In fact, many times these problems are rooted in their childhood and are responsible for their unhealthy lifestyles. I am a Christian and will never be ashamed of the gospel of Christ for it was Jesus who brought light into my world of darkness and all glory goes to Him for every accomplishment. Every hurting soul who is experiencing an unplanned pregnancy is our responsibility. Every baby deserves to live and we seek to testify about Jesus through our unconditional services to their mothers. Because I know the mothers’ pain, I can share the good news of the hope that is in Christ. Through my life, they can see that no matter what we have gone through in life, we are able to conquer and become something new and beautiful.
I have been able to mourn the loss of the child that was aborted when I was young and I don't walk in guilt and shame anymore. Instead, I speak boldly and openly about my life – yes, with pain, but also with the hope that others will see how it is not impossible to get out of the pit in which they find themselves at the present time.
Unfortunately, I was never able to conceive again; my son is my only living child and without him, I would not have had the opportunity to know what being a mother feels like. I can't imagine my life without him from the time he was born to now at 25 years old. I can't imagine my life without the nights in the hospital with his asthma attacks, or his hernia surgery or all of the other things we experience as mothers. No one can imagine the pain when I had to leave him behind not to risk his life in the ocean while coming to the U.S.. I got to experience the joy of picking him up in the airport when brought him here, seeing him give himself to Christ and getting baptized by my husband, taking him to soccer games and youth activities, and helping him get his first job and apartment.
Life is not easy and it has not been easy for him either. He has many things to deal with, as society pushes shame upon children conceived in rape, and he is not the exception. But nothing will keep his father (my husband) and I from continuing to pray and support him as he travels the painful, but worthy, journey of healing. My son is not perfect, but he is a hard working young man who was definitely fearfully and wonderfully made by our Lord and Savior.
I had never heard about abortion bans "except in cases of rape" back in Cuba, but as soon as I heard about it here in the U.S., I was angry that someone could think it was best for my son not to be alive because of no fault of his own. There should be no exceptions because my son is all I would want in a child; no exceptions because he is not the son of a stigma, but the son of a mother who would do anything in this world for him and of an adoptive father who loves him as his own; no exceptions because he is not a piece of garbage, but my most precious treasure; no exceptions because his life matters!Bio: Yohanka Reyes is a pro-life blogger for Save The 1. Bilingual, she's also a blogger for Salvar El 1. She serves as the Executive Director of Mary's Pregnancy Resource Center, is a wife, and mother. She'll be in Washington, D.C. at the March For Life 2016. Please come by the Save The 1 booth at the Expo, or say hello when you see her with her pink sign -- MOTHER FROM RAPE I LOVE MY CHILD!
Monday, December 1, 2014
Terminating Parental Rights of Rapists
My custody case in
Florida against my rapist started in 2010 and went on for a little over two
years. Though I had a restraining order
and had pursued prosecution, he was not convicted of rape. At the time he sued for custody, I did not
know how many states had no or limited legal protection at that time from a
rapist biological father when the child was conceived from his attack. Those
states which had laws required a rape conviction. For me, all that counted at the time was that
Florida had no legal protection at all for this. I recall the judge asking if there was any law
to prohibit this -- even a federal law --and me replying: "Not yet, but I am working on it."
I'm one of the
original co-founders of Hope After Rape Conception (HARC.) We came up with model legislation through HARC
with the "clear and convincing evidence" standard which the U.S.
Supreme Court has required for terminating parental rights. No
rape conviction should be necessary -- the same as other termination of parental
rights cases such as child abuse or neglect, where a criminal conviction is not
mandatory.
Having this model
legislation, I contacted a friend of mine I had known and whose opinion I have
valued since years ago when I was a law student at Florida State University
College of Law. Since he had also served
as a Florida legislative member in the past, I asked who he recommended contacting
about sponsoring our model legislation. It
was my hope that Florida could go from being one of the worst states for this
situation where there was no legal protection in place to being the best.
I followed through on
that recommendation, and contacted the member of the Florida House of
Representatives who was running for a seat in the Florida Senate. Since that was an election year and some
legislators were termed out from their service, we had to wait until after the
election for the proposed legislation to be moved forward, but the newly-elected
Senator Joseph Abruzzo followed through on his promise since he had also made
this issue part of his legislative platform. I continued to contact and share my story with
legislators on both sides of the aisle in order to gather support.
Legislative members in
the House and Senate were willing to get bipartisan support for the sake of the
people of Florida. Sen. Abruzzo found a
house sponsor, Representative Dave Kerner. I continued to work closely with Senator
Abruzzo's office on the drafting. One thing that was needed was a better
understanding of why the clear and convincing evidence standard should apply. So, I reached out to a trusted law professor
who had taught me years ago -- Professor Charles Ehrhardt at FSU. He was eager to help during the legislative
process and, since he literally wrote the Florida Evidence Code, was invaluable
in helping to explain to those involved why clear and convincing evidence was
the correct legal standard.
It became my personal
goal to get this law passed with unanimous bipartisan support because I wanted Florida
to set the example of turning things around for my daughter's sake, and for everyone
else who was in this situation of choosing life and raising a child conceived
in rape here in Florida -- so that they could be set free from the rapist. Sharing my personal story with the
legislature definitely made a difference -- especially because in Florida it is
the "best interest of the child" that is of primary importance. Here is some of what I shared with these state
leaders:
Years ago I was raped
and then learned that I had become pregnant as a result of his attack. I thought that I had fought him off
successfully despite the pain throughout every fiber of my body. I fought to make him stop. He would not. I was eventually rendered unconscious from his
attack. He even subsequently broke into
my home and pointed a gun at my pregnant belly threatening to kill “it” now or
later if I did not drop the prosecution against him.
More than half a
decade later, during which time there was no contact with my child by the man
who raped me -- which is how she was conceived, there he was in a Florida court
asking for visitation and all other parental rights to which he should have never
been entitled. I was horrified and
shocked. How could this now be possible
when it was not before? And how could
the laws of the state where he raped me and where she was born -- Louisiana,
which had kept us protected from this terror no longer seemed to matter? It was because we were now Florida residents. The State of Florida did not have any laws
that would protect my child from suddenly being forced into a relationship with
her biological father who raped me, and the State forced me to relive through
this court action the circumstances of her conception, which resulted from his
attack.
The absence of any
legal protection for us here in Florida allowed this traumatic nightmare to
happen. I felt the same horror of being
raped by him again, only this time it was through a Florida court where I had
it explained to me by those involved that he had "only" raped me and
not the child, and he is equal to every other father in Florida under the law
-- that he had equal rights to her just as any biological father in Florida
would and is therefore not deprived of his rights here since we reside in this
state. Even his past and future threats
of harm he made did not matter because the child had not yet been born when
that occurred, so therefore the child did not experience this directly since I
had been merely pregnant with her at the time that occurred. This was the logical explanation I was
repeatedly given as everything in my body and soul screamed, "Why is this
legal and how is this possibly in her 'best interest' ever?!"
I contacted grass
roots activists and key individuals who are in Tallahassee government
relations. I shared my story for the
legislative members and committees. I
kept saying we need unanimous bipartisan support and that I want Florida to go
from being a state with no protection to having the best. I was driven for my firstborn and by my love
for all my children. The biggest legislative
obstacle was a legislator who wanted a competing bill which would have had the
legislation only apply to future cases and, therefore, it wouldn't protect my
daughter. So I was certain to continue advocating and got others to help get
his alternate bill thrown out. I was
relentless, I persevered, and in the end, I got what I asking for: the law protecting me and my daughter -- and
all other Florida rape victim mothers and their children -- passed in 2013 with
unanimous bipartisan support and reflects our model legislation from HARC!
After the law was
passed in Florida in 2013, it became the state that not only had the model
legislation we were seeking nationally through Hope After Rape Conception, but
Florida is also where the first federal legislation on this issue originated: Florida Congresswoman Debbie Wasserman Schultz
proposed the Rape Survivor Child Custody Act, echoing the Florida law, with the
clear and convincing evidence standard. And
just like at the state level, she immediately reached across party lines and
had a co-sponsor from the Republican side, U.S. Representative Marino. I was invited to participate in a press
conference at a rape crisis center to share my story and be a part of this
journey forward from the terror I had survived before. Video footage: http://miami.cbslocal.com/2013/09/04/wasserman-schultz-urges-the-protection-of-rape-survivors-parental-rights/ Currently, the bill is not moving forward and
must be reintroduced during the next session of Congress.
Every pro-life organization needs to be
behind our model legislation, making it a legislative priority. Even though we had bi-partisan support, the
law is pro-life in effect. If pregnant
rape victims know that their State protects them from the rapist having
parental rights, they will be less likely to choose abortion. The FL House sponsor, Rep. Kerner, was quoted by
the press as saying that this new law can hopefully encourage those in this
same situation to choose life.
Furthermore, it's a prime opportunity for 100% pro-life legislators to
show how much concern they have for pregnant rape victims -- by protecting them
from the rapist.
BIO:
Analyn Megison is a graduate of Florida State
University College of Law. In her second year of law school,
she was a visiting student at Georgetown University Law Center and
interned with a federal judge in Washington, D.C..
She was appointed as the Special Assistant on Women's Policy for the
Office of the Governor of Louisiana, and she currently serves on a Domestic
and Sexual Violence Task Force in Florida. She's a pro-life speaker, co-founder of Hope After Rape Conception
and a blogger for Save The 1.
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