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Showing posts with label pregnancy care center. Show all posts
Showing posts with label pregnancy care center. Show all posts
Wednesday, February 8, 2017
The Abortion Was More Damaging Than the Rape, by Nona Ellington
My father was an evangelist, traveling and ministering where ever he was called.
My mother was a devout Southern Baptist and my father was a full-gospel, spirit-filled Christian. I was torn between two churches. They were both very godly people but had different outlooks on the Bible because of their denominations.
I received Jesus as my Savior and was baptized at age 12 in the Baptist Church, but I did not understand the importance of daily prayer, and reading the Word of God.
At the age of 13, I was raped by a 15 year old extended family member, stealing my virginity. I was scared, having not received any sexual education at all. I thought immediately that I would be pregnant. I was afraid to tell anyone because this was a family member. Because he had given me marijuana beforehand, I felt ashamed that I had not seen it coming.
As a result, I turned to drugs, alcohol and sought attention from older men. Within a year, I was raped by a cousin who was 10 years older than me -- once again, after being given marijuana. He drove me into the woods and raped me in his truck.
At that point, I felt like there was a big sign on me, "Rape this girl." After that, I went into a really dark place, again, feeling so much shame. I didn't want the devastation in the family if I told anyone because I knew he would go to jail, and I didn't even know if anyone would believe my story.
I became distant with my parents. I was involved in church, going church with my Mom, but found the worst crowd to hang out with there -- those who would smoke pot in the parking lot. I was even in a private Christian school, but got kicked out at age 14 because of my activities.
In 10th grade, I started a public school and soon after met a boy who I began dating. He took me to his cousin's house after school because no adults were home. We smoked pot that must have been laced with something else, then he locked me in his cousin's room and raped me.
He left me in the room where I was devastated, and I could hear him and his cousin laughing about it. I felt like I just wanted to get out of there and get home, but I didn't even know where I was so I was still dependent upon the guy who raped me to be able to get a ride home.
After few weeks later, I'd missed my period. I called an older sister to tell her my predicament, and my sister began to tell me I needed to have an abortion. At 15, I didn't even know what an abortion was. My mother overheard our conversation, burst into the room and grabbed the phone from me. During their conversation, my sister convinced my mom that I needed to abort. I have no idea how she achieved this, because my mom had 9 children and was, as I said, very devout.
I was scared, so I made a "deal" with God: "Please help me to not be pregnant. If I'm not pregnant, I promise not to ever have sex out of marriage again."
That same sister took me to Planned Parenthood in Houston for a pregnancy test, where they confirmed my pregnancy, and I was in shock. They told me that at this stage of only five weeks, "it" was only a blob of tissue. They also suggested that I needed an abortion, since I was so young and still in school. I didn't know what questions to ask as far as other options. All that was discussed was abortion, and they referred me to another clinic to have one.
I was devastated. At school, I told all of my girlfriends and every single one recommended I get an abortion. Everybody told me that it was really "no big deal, people do it all the time, especially since you're still in school." Not one person suggested that I could keep the baby or choose adoption. I felt abortion was my only choice, and completely lacked any education on pregnancy.
I received Jesus as my Savior and was baptized at age 12 in the Baptist Church, but I did not understand the importance of daily prayer, and reading the Word of God.
At the age of 13, I was raped by a 15 year old extended family member, stealing my virginity. I was scared, having not received any sexual education at all. I thought immediately that I would be pregnant. I was afraid to tell anyone because this was a family member. Because he had given me marijuana beforehand, I felt ashamed that I had not seen it coming.
As a result, I turned to drugs, alcohol and sought attention from older men. Within a year, I was raped by a cousin who was 10 years older than me -- once again, after being given marijuana. He drove me into the woods and raped me in his truck.
At that point, I felt like there was a big sign on me, "Rape this girl." After that, I went into a really dark place, again, feeling so much shame. I didn't want the devastation in the family if I told anyone because I knew he would go to jail, and I didn't even know if anyone would believe my story.
I became distant with my parents. I was involved in church, going church with my Mom, but found the worst crowd to hang out with there -- those who would smoke pot in the parking lot. I was even in a private Christian school, but got kicked out at age 14 because of my activities.
In 10th grade, I started a public school and soon after met a boy who I began dating. He took me to his cousin's house after school because no adults were home. We smoked pot that must have been laced with something else, then he locked me in his cousin's room and raped me.
He left me in the room where I was devastated, and I could hear him and his cousin laughing about it. I felt like I just wanted to get out of there and get home, but I didn't even know where I was so I was still dependent upon the guy who raped me to be able to get a ride home.
After few weeks later, I'd missed my period. I called an older sister to tell her my predicament, and my sister began to tell me I needed to have an abortion. At 15, I didn't even know what an abortion was. My mother overheard our conversation, burst into the room and grabbed the phone from me. During their conversation, my sister convinced my mom that I needed to abort. I have no idea how she achieved this, because my mom had 9 children and was, as I said, very devout.
I was scared, so I made a "deal" with God: "Please help me to not be pregnant. If I'm not pregnant, I promise not to ever have sex out of marriage again."
That same sister took me to Planned Parenthood in Houston for a pregnancy test, where they confirmed my pregnancy, and I was in shock. They told me that at this stage of only five weeks, "it" was only a blob of tissue. They also suggested that I needed an abortion, since I was so young and still in school. I didn't know what questions to ask as far as other options. All that was discussed was abortion, and they referred me to another clinic to have one.
I was covered with shame and guilt, even before the abortion took place.
When I told the guy who raped me that I was pregnant and needed money for an abortion, he denied that he was the father, which deepened my shame. However, under pressure from my sister, he decided to tell everyone in school so he could gather money to pay for the abortion, and handed my sister a wad of 1's and 5's.
When I told the guy who raped me that I was pregnant and needed money for an abortion, he denied that he was the father, which deepened my shame. However, under pressure from my sister, he decided to tell everyone in school so he could gather money to pay for the abortion, and handed my sister a wad of 1's and 5's.
Around October, 1983, my Mom and sister took me to the abortion facility. My Dad was never told until more than 20 years later. My Mom, like me, knew absolutely nothing of what an abortion actually did to a baby or the woman, but she knew enough to hide it from my Dad.
The first thing I remember is that my mother was appalled, having noticed that there were women in the waiting room who were far along in their pregnancies, and she said to me, "What are all of these women doing in here? They look like they are about to deliver."
My sister handled the paperwork, but my Mom and sister were not allowed into the counseling room. The older woman there advised me that because I was so young and so small, I might not be able to have children later in life. But marriage and children were the furthest thing from my mind in the moment and I was not afforded the benefit of having my mother there for me to help me make an informed decision.
In hindsight, I believe this was the first open door God gave me to not go through with it. I really believe that, had my mom been in the room with me, we would have left.
The next thing I remember is being on the hard, cold abortion table. I was never introduced to the doctor. I just remember that he was a man. As the nurse was prepping me, I could hear my mother's voice at the door, asking, "Is my daughter in there?", then her being told, "Ma'am, you cannot come in here." We never discussed it since, but I believe my Mom was wanting to get me out of there -- the second open door.
I was told to focus on a baby mobile hanging from the ceiling. Now that I look back on it, I see how sadistic that was.
I could hear and feel everything that was happening to me. I'd never been to a gynecologist before, and I felt like my entire insides were being ripped out of me. I've heard it said that abortion is like rape, and it's true, but worse than rape because of the devastating level of violence involved. The violence and pain of the abortion are more extreme in my memory than the violence and pain of the rapes.
I was bleeding profusely when I left. My Mom and sister took me to a restaurant, but I passed out on my plate because I was so physically and emotionally exhausted. After that, the subject of abortion was taboo with them.
The first thing I remember is that my mother was appalled, having noticed that there were women in the waiting room who were far along in their pregnancies, and she said to me, "What are all of these women doing in here? They look like they are about to deliver."
My sister handled the paperwork, but my Mom and sister were not allowed into the counseling room. The older woman there advised me that because I was so young and so small, I might not be able to have children later in life. But marriage and children were the furthest thing from my mind in the moment and I was not afforded the benefit of having my mother there for me to help me make an informed decision.
In hindsight, I believe this was the first open door God gave me to not go through with it. I really believe that, had my mom been in the room with me, we would have left.
The next thing I remember is being on the hard, cold abortion table. I was never introduced to the doctor. I just remember that he was a man. As the nurse was prepping me, I could hear my mother's voice at the door, asking, "Is my daughter in there?", then her being told, "Ma'am, you cannot come in here." We never discussed it since, but I believe my Mom was wanting to get me out of there -- the second open door.
I was told to focus on a baby mobile hanging from the ceiling. Now that I look back on it, I see how sadistic that was.
I could hear and feel everything that was happening to me. I'd never been to a gynecologist before, and I felt like my entire insides were being ripped out of me. I've heard it said that abortion is like rape, and it's true, but worse than rape because of the devastating level of violence involved. The violence and pain of the abortion are more extreme in my memory than the violence and pain of the rapes.
I was bleeding profusely when I left. My Mom and sister took me to a restaurant, but I passed out on my plate because I was so physically and emotionally exhausted. After that, the subject of abortion was taboo with them.
Emotionally, I spiraled into a very destructive behavior of drugs, alcohol and promiscuous sex almost immediately following the abortion. I was completely spiritually void, rebelling against my Christian upbringing. I also became emotionally numb, with not much regard for living at all.
As I was going through the motions, trying to fill this huge void within me, I attached myself to an abusive relationship less than a year after the abortion, and I eventually married him at age 19.
As I was going through the motions, trying to fill this huge void within me, I attached myself to an abusive relationship less than a year after the abortion, and I eventually married him at age 19.
The abortion did in fact ruin all chances of having children. I suffered 5 miscarriages during my marriage of 18 years, which resulted in divorce. Three of these miscarriages were tubal pregnancies, requiring emergency surgery and very near-death experiences. I so wanted an "atonement" baby to make up for the one I killed.
At the age of 32, having suffered low self-esteem from the rapes, the abortion, the shame, the abusive marriage, the loss of my babies, and my infertility, I attempted suicide. The experience of the abortion did not make the rape experience any better, but drove me into a much darker place, and I realize I'd been suffering from clinical depression all of those years.
God then began drawing me close to Him through listening to Christian music on the radio. As the Lord was filling me with this influence of His Truth, I gave my heart back to Christ, and the radio became my Church. I even committed myself to quit smoking.
One day, on my local Christian radio station, they happened to be holding was what was called the world's largest baby shower, benefiting local pregnancy resource centers. I heard a woman speaking about the centers, and I knew I had to pick up the phone, call her, and make myself available to tell other women never to have an abortion. I realized that God had been working on me to see that so many of my struggles in life were caused by my abortion.
Up to that point, I'd still considered myself to be pro-choice, because I felt like I had been forced into an abortion and wasn't really given a choice.
As I visited the pregnancy resource center in central Houston, the director asked me if I'd ever had an abortion, and breaking my silence, I told her. In order to volunteer, I was told I had to go through their post-abortion healing study called "Beauty For Ashes." It sounded so refreshing to hear that something like this existed!
This study saved my life. My abusive husband didn't want me going. He didn't want me volunteering at the center. It was a battle to come back to the Lord, but I received so much healing through this study. I got to name each of my six babies, and God healed me to be able to minister to other people and change my life.
During this time, I'd also begun attending church with my Dad. As I said, he was an evangelist, so I was too fearful to ever tell him about the abortion, until almost 20 years later as I was going through this study. When I told him, he was devastated that he had lost a grandchild. He said to me, "If I had known I had a grandchild, I would have raised that baby myself."
At the age of 32, having suffered low self-esteem from the rapes, the abortion, the shame, the abusive marriage, the loss of my babies, and my infertility, I attempted suicide. The experience of the abortion did not make the rape experience any better, but drove me into a much darker place, and I realize I'd been suffering from clinical depression all of those years.
God then began drawing me close to Him through listening to Christian music on the radio. As the Lord was filling me with this influence of His Truth, I gave my heart back to Christ, and the radio became my Church. I even committed myself to quit smoking.
One day, on my local Christian radio station, they happened to be holding was what was called the world's largest baby shower, benefiting local pregnancy resource centers. I heard a woman speaking about the centers, and I knew I had to pick up the phone, call her, and make myself available to tell other women never to have an abortion. I realized that God had been working on me to see that so many of my struggles in life were caused by my abortion.
Up to that point, I'd still considered myself to be pro-choice, because I felt like I had been forced into an abortion and wasn't really given a choice.
As I visited the pregnancy resource center in central Houston, the director asked me if I'd ever had an abortion, and breaking my silence, I told her. In order to volunteer, I was told I had to go through their post-abortion healing study called "Beauty For Ashes." It sounded so refreshing to hear that something like this existed!
This study saved my life. My abusive husband didn't want me going. He didn't want me volunteering at the center. It was a battle to come back to the Lord, but I received so much healing through this study. I got to name each of my six babies, and God healed me to be able to minister to other people and change my life.
During this time, I'd also begun attending church with my Dad. As I said, he was an evangelist, so I was too fearful to ever tell him about the abortion, until almost 20 years later as I was going through this study. When I told him, he was devastated that he had lost a grandchild. He said to me, "If I had known I had a grandchild, I would have raised that baby myself."
Abortion was the most selfish decision I ever made in my whole life. It affected everyone in my life and caused devastation to my mind, soul and body. It caused the loss of my five other babies, my infertility, and I'm also convinced it caused me to get breast cancer at the age of 45 in 2014. Research has proven that abortion can cause breast cancer -- especially early onset.
There is healing for broken hearts and lives after abortion, through the love and forgiveness of Jesus Christ. His work at the Cross of Calvary removes all shame, bitterness, self hatred and sin, if we only believe and receive Him in our hearts.
I pray that anyone reading this testimony who is considering abortion for their self or someone else would consider seeking help through a pregnancy care center that will share the truth in love about all of your options. I'm convinced that if anyone had taken me to a pregnancy care center, I would not have had an abortion.
I want everyone to know that abortion doesn't fix rape, and the experience of abortion is more damaging physically and emotionally than the rape itself. My child had every right to life and I would do anything in my power to have that child in my arms, or to be able to hand that baby to a loving couple.
I want everyone to know that abortion doesn't fix rape, and the experience of abortion is more damaging physically and emotionally than the rape itself. My child had every right to life and I would do anything in my power to have that child in my arms, or to be able to hand that baby to a loving couple.
BIO: Nona Lynn Ellington is a pro-life speaker and writer, residing in Houston,
Texas. Her ministry is Eagles Restoration Ministries. She spoke at the Family Research Council press conference in DC in March, 2016, the day before the Texas HB2 US Supreme Court hearing. Her name and story, along with many others, was on the amicus brief filed with the high court by The Justice Foundation. Nona is now a blogger for Save The 1 and available for speaking and testifying before legislatures. Watch a video of her sharing her post-abortive from rape testimony
Wednesday, June 29, 2016
I'm One of Three and I Disagree! by Angela Grogg
Today I stumbled upon an article from The River Front Times discussing the barriers that the State of Missouri has for women seeking abortions. As a Missourian and a post-abortive woman, I take great exception with this glossed-over attempt to paint abortion as nothing more than an afterthought. Alison Dreith suggests that a woman who seeks an abortion does not need time to reflect or think, they "just need it.”
I fought for the 72-hour waiting period and even went to the State Capital to speak about my own abortion experience. I find it insulting that she can so casually dismiss the loss that I and millions of women experienced because of abortion. Yes, there is shame, there is loss, and there is a lifetime of emotional pain involved with abortion. It's not isolated -- it is widespread and the norm. This is the ugly little secret that the pro-abortion supporters don't want to talk about.
I fought for the 72-hour waiting period and even went to the State Capital to speak about my own abortion experience. I find it insulting that she can so casually dismiss the loss that I and millions of women experienced because of abortion. Yes, there is shame, there is loss, and there is a lifetime of emotional pain involved with abortion. It's not isolated -- it is widespread and the norm. This is the ugly little secret that the pro-abortion supporters don't want to talk about.
Missouri is not restricting women from having abortions. The 72-hour waiting period is designed to provide the woman time to reflect and ensure she is making a truly informed decision. It is there so she does not feel pressured and offers her time to seek other alternatives if she so chooses. The thing that Ms. Dreith is missing is, once that decision is made, there is no going back. There is no returning to the clinic and having the baby magically placed back in our wombs. This is a decision that deserves, at the very least, 72-hours.
Let's be real here. This is not a decision to be taken lightly, we are talking about a life. No matter which side of this issue you are on, we can all agree that a life is being taken. Why does the 72-hour wait scare the pro-aborts so badly? Is it that they care more for the woman? No. Sadly, they know if they let those women go, then there's a chance they won't come back, and they will lose that money. It is about the money.
Let's be real here. This is not a decision to be taken lightly, we are talking about a life. No matter which side of this issue you are on, we can all agree that a life is being taken. Why does the 72-hour wait scare the pro-aborts so badly? Is it that they care more for the woman? No. Sadly, they know if they let those women go, then there's a chance they won't come back, and they will lose that money. It is about the money.
I received my abortion at Hope Clinic in Granite City, Illinois. My experience at that clinic was vastly different from the experience described by Ms. Dreith. At first, they appeared very caring and genuinely concerned for me, but when I entered the abortion room, things changed. As I laid there and cried uncontrollably, the nurse kept telling me to "shut up" and the doctor repeatedly told her to get me under control. I can still remember the bruises on my shoulders from being held down. I was screaming that I wanted my baby and that I did not want to go through with the abortion. I had changed my mind, but it did not matter -- they were going to do it anyway.
I also remember every girl in the recovery room. There were no casual conversations or discussions, no smiles, no laughter. No plans were being made for BBQ's later in the day or week. A heavy cloud of death permeated the room and the painful reality of our "choice" was slowly and permanently closing in on us. That is my memory of The Hope Clinic.
I was unable to walk out of the clinic. My father carried me in his arms. The pro-life sidewalk counselors weren't screaming and they weren't "shaming” me. They were praying for my soul and the soul of my child. And as I was entering the clinic, they understood the weight of my decision and what I was about to face. Don't get me wrong -- the clinic did offer counseling; however, it was at an additional cost.
I also remember every girl in the recovery room. There were no casual conversations or discussions, no smiles, no laughter. No plans were being made for BBQ's later in the day or week. A heavy cloud of death permeated the room and the painful reality of our "choice" was slowly and permanently closing in on us. That is my memory of The Hope Clinic.
I was unable to walk out of the clinic. My father carried me in his arms. The pro-life sidewalk counselors weren't screaming and they weren't "shaming” me. They were praying for my soul and the soul of my child. And as I was entering the clinic, they understood the weight of my decision and what I was about to face. Don't get me wrong -- the clinic did offer counseling; however, it was at an additional cost.
I now work within the pro-life world and I am very confused by Ms. Dreith’s vague comments concerning the “lies" that crisis pregnancy centers tell women. What are the lies? Why didn’t she name them? I can tell you first-hand that there are no lies being told. Crisis pregnancy centers are very careful to tell the truth. They tell these young girls and women that it is going to be challenging and at times hard. The difference, though, is an abortion clinic affirms these women's fears that they can't do it, that there is no hope, and that abortion is the only answer. They do everything they can to affirm to them that they will not make it unless they have the abortion.
Crisis pregnancy centers walk with these women. They don't leave them or abandon them when the baby is born. They are there as long as the woman needs support, providing a hand up. Crisis pregnancy centers fight for women, we give them the tools they need to make it in life and to give their babies life!
I went through a post-abortion recovery program totally free at a crisis pregnancy center. At no point in time did anyone ever try to shame me or condemn me for my "choice." The love and compassion I received and thousands of women every year receive did not come from Planned Parenthood -- it came from a pregnancy care center.
Crisis pregnancy centers walk with these women. They don't leave them or abandon them when the baby is born. They are there as long as the woman needs support, providing a hand up. Crisis pregnancy centers fight for women, we give them the tools they need to make it in life and to give their babies life!
I went through a post-abortion recovery program totally free at a crisis pregnancy center. At no point in time did anyone ever try to shame me or condemn me for my "choice." The love and compassion I received and thousands of women every year receive did not come from Planned Parenthood -- it came from a pregnancy care center.
I respectfully ask every woman in the great State of Missouri who is facing an unplanned pregnancy to please go to the nearest pregnancy resource center and talk to the volunteers before ever entering a Planned Parenthood. The services are free; from pregnancy tests to STI testing, from post-abortive counseling to helping her choose an alternative to abortion. They are literally waiting to serve these women with love, understanding, compassion, and HOPE! I promise you that if you walk into one of these centers, you will leave with hope!
There may be one Planned Parenthood which does abortions in our state but there are over 70 pregnancy resource centers which will give a woman all the love and support she needs during an unexpected pregnancy. Here is a link to all these abortion alternative centers in Missouri: https://ramahinternational.org/help-in-your-area/missouri/
BIO: Angela Grogg is a founding member of Hope after Rape Conception and a pro-life speaker and blogger for Save The 1. Her 14 yr old daughter conceived a son through rape. Finding out early on that Missouri had no laws to protect rape victims and their children, she tirelessly lobbied to change that and on 8/28/12, SB 638 became law, protecting victims and their children from being victimized further by the rapist. Angela is also post-abortive.
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