Wednesday, February 22, 2017

Told by Doctors to Abort, I Regained My Mother's Heart For My Child, by Jennifer Frey

My name is Jennifer Frey.  I would like to share a piece of my heart here with you, and her name is Faith Elizabeth.

Before I get there, I would like to confess, I haven’t always been pro-life.  In fact, I was very much pro-choice until my children came into my life.  I remember in high school writing my senior paper on the topic of abortion.  Being the naive teenager that I was, I thought for sure those extreme cases of rape, or health of the mother/baby were valid reasons for abortion. 

I hadn’t thought much about the topic of abortion until I had children -- in particular, my second born baby.  All of my children have changed my life, but she is the one who changed things deep in my heart.

While I was pregnant with my second born baby, at my 20 week ultrasound
came some devastating news.  Our baby was promptly diagnosed with anencephaly.  Words I had never heard before -- “incompatible with life” -- were used.  

The doctor refused to show us any more pictures of the baby, as to "not hurt our feelings."  They did not tell us the gender and they sent us on to a specialist.  I left feeling like my baby was already dead.  

At the appointment with the specialist, they confirmed the diagnosis.  They told us over 95% of families with this diagnosis have an "early termination."  They told us it was okay to do, that it was too difficult to carry the baby to term just to watch it die. We were told the baby wouldn’t make it much past birth or could pass away in utero. The doctors offered no support for choosing life.  It was never given to us as an option.

I will admit right now, I believed them.  I was a beginner Christian, a fairly new mom (my oldest was 3) and was still unsure about abortion. The doctors did a really good job of making it seem like termination was the best choice.  

Without making any decisions at that appointment, my husband and I went home, barely able to talk to each other, let alone cope.  

We were leaning towards early termination.  I thought that there was no way I would be strong enough to carry the baby to full term, just to watch the baby die.  I had even made the appointment for the termination.  By the grace of God, we ended up cancelling the termination the day before my appointment.  Something stirred in my heart to love my baby, and I regained my mother's heart for my child which was almost stolen by lies and deceit -- not just from the doctors, but by our country's opinion of babies with adverse diagnoses.

We carried our baby -- our daughter -- to full term. We named her Faith Elizabeth.  During the remainder of the pregnancy, she lay breech in my womb, her head right up under my left rib cage, close to my heart -- the symbolism of which I hold very dear.  

We included our older daughter, Julianna in all the planning so she could always remember having a part in her sister's life. 

On December 27, 2010, Faith Elizabeth was born.  We were told to expect the
worst, that she would be deaf, blind, mute, and probably unconscious.  From what they could see on ultrasound, she had a severe case and seemed to only have use of her brain stem.

Faith was born, and she defied all expectations!  She was alive, alert, eyes open, making noises and responding!  We spent the day with her, introducing her to family and friends.  

She lived for 18 hours, and died in my arms.  She was here only a short time in our lives, but the impact she made in my life is continuous and ongoing.  

While it is a sad, bittersweet memory of mine now, there is also an enormous Joy that goes along with it. Her life changed mine.  And when I think back about being in that place of finding out her diagnosis, wondering if it would be easier to terminate or not -- I find myself so thankful for choosing life.  I imagine I would have been filled with regret had I chosen to terminate.  But now I am thankful to have given her the best chance at the longest life possible for her.  I will never regret having met my daughter and seeing my oldest who was wise beyond her years cradle her baby sister.


My family and I are now a solid pro-life family.  We stand for life, we fight for life, we help others going through situations like our own because we KNOW how precious life is.  We have learned that life is sometimes short, but sweet, and to enjoy the time we have together. It is so worth it to choose life every time -- whether in your womb or in your heart.  You won't regret it!

I've been doing my own research on abortion ever since I've had Faith and it always felt like there was a portion of the discussion missing because abortion is often associated with clinics like Planned Parenthood, there wasn't much talk of the abortions that happen in hospitals due to medical influences there.  It's a whole hidden agenda that most people aren't aware of, and so many babies are killed by abortion each year as recommended by doctors, at hospitals, because of a disability.

When I was pregnant with my firstborn, it was suggested that we do genetic testing and they said our daughter had a high chance of Down Syndrome.  We were offered "options." And then again, same thing with our 3rd born child. She had measurements which were "off" and they were talking about doing more testing so I could have "options."  Today, all three of my living children are completely healthy.  Had I taken the advice of my doctors, I would have aborted three children and have only one living child today!
 
Thank you to Save The 1 for bringing awareness to this sneaky area of abortion. I am available and would love to help in any way! 

BIO:  Jennifer Frey is a wife, mother of four, photographer and pro-life blogger for Save The 1.

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Monday, February 13, 2017

After the Rape, Choosing Life Fixed Everything, by Paula Love

New Year's Eve 1991, I was invited to go bowling with a small group of people
who I hadn’t known for very long and didn’t know very well at all.  We bowled and we drank, but I don’t remember much more.  I don’t remember leaving the bowling alley, but I remember seeing headlights on our way somewhere.  

I have no idea how I got into a hotel room.  I only remember opening my eyes and knowing that someone was on top of me.  It took me a minute to comprehend what was happening.  I felt dazed.  Once I realized the situation I was in, my mind was screaming for me to push him off, but my body wouldn’t do what I wanted it to.  I had no strength.  None.  I was dead weight.  I am certain I was drugged.  I looked at my hands laying by my sides and kept saying to myself, “Lift your hands; push him off!!”  I stared at my hands waiting for them to do what I was telling them to, but they never did and I passed back out.

After waking up naked, confused, cold and terrified, I found my way home.  I didn’t leave my house much.  That went on for weeks.  I didn’t tell anyone what happened.  I felt depressed and dirty, and I wasn’t getting out of bed very often.  Then, about the time I was beginning to come out of the “fog” of the incident, I began getting sick -- every morning.

I looked in the phone book and found a place that specializes in “crisis pregnancies.”  I called and made an appointment.  February 14, 1991 -- Valentine’s Day.  I pee'd in a cup and waited for the results that I already knew the answer to.  The lady came to the waiting area and took me back into a room to give me my results where several counselors were waiting.  They told me I was pregnant and had a video for me to watch.  I watched.  I watched the life cycle of the baby in my tummy.  I learned about the heart developing.  This baby already has a heartbeat.  As I left the building, that’s what I couldn’t get out of my head:  a heartbeat.

I drove away from there a very scared 18 year old and felt I had to tell someone.  I chose my sister.  When I arrived, she looked so beautiful in a red formal dress, busy blowing up balloons, preparing for her engagement party to her future husband.  It was just me and her in the room.  “I’m pregnant.”  I wasn’t feeling the excitement, but she had enough for both of us and it gave me hope.  She could feel my despair, but never wavered.  

One by one, I told those close to me about the "incident" and about the pregnancy.  I was blessed to have such a loving and supportive family.  We’ve always been very close.  I’m grateful I was surrounded by their love.  It would carry me through the next eight months of pregnancy, and far beyond.

As I was going to sleep one night, I began praying to God.  My Dad was a minister.  My parents were missionaries when I was much younger and I had been raised in church my entire life.  As I lay there, I told God my hurt and my fear.  I told him that I choose life for this baby and we’re in His hands. 

I opened my eyes the next morning and took a minute staring at the ceiling.  During the night I had a vivid dream.  I dreamt that I had a healthy, red-headed, beautiful baby girl.  I thought to myself, “red-headed?”

On October 12, 1991, the contractions began.  I called my brother who wasn’t very far away.  After placing trash bags on all the seats, he let me in the car.  Away we went.  My mom soon arrived at the hospital with us.  Now it was just me and her, and the Doctor in the room, and things were getting real.  

Twelve hours had past and finally Kayla Ann was here.  My mom held her briefly, counted her fingers and toes and then handed me my healthy, red-headed, beautiful baby girl -- just like in my dream, only better.

“Before I formed you in your mother’s womb, I knew you.” Jeremiah 1:5


Kayla Ann got married a few years ago.  She asked me to walk her down the

aisle.  As we walked together, my mind was like a movie reel of memories.  I captured those memories in a poem for her:

It’s a girl, I heard them say and the journey began that autumn day.

God decided that it’s you and me, by each other’s side we will always be.

One years old! You’re walking! Starting school, you won’t stop talking…

Caught another fish, made a dandelion wish. Honor rolls, field trips, laughter and tears,

Sweet sixteen…..now you’re grown….. I’d do it all over again.

Gorgeous eyes and confidence, you’ve persuaded hard hearts to buy into this.

My bond with you, nothing compares, they have no idea, they’ve never been there.

Don’t walk, Stomp your own path! Do your thing and never look back.

My heart explodes with gratitude that I was given this gift to be paired with you.

You are love, you are laughter, you are my Happy Ever After. 

There was always a voice in my head telling me that I could have an abortion and it would fix everything.  The truth is, choosing life fixed everything.  I’m thankful every day that I didn’t buy into the lie.  My daughter and the two incredible grandsons that she’s given me fixed everything. They have turned my sorrow into joy.
  
“I will comfort them. I will give them joy in place of their sorrow.” Jeremiah 31:13

BIO: Paula Love is the happy mother of two and a very proud “Mimi” to two
incredible grandsons.  In the quiet mountains of Montana she spends her time with her family, tending her garden and gathering chicken eggs! She left the big city life 16 years ago and never plans to go back.  Paula is also a pro-life blogger for Save The 1.

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It Looked Like Such a Bleak Situation, But I Had a Reason For Being by Kerry Ann Beckley from the U.K.

I was conceived in 1974, in a little town called Newbury, in England. Abortion became legal in the UK in 1967, but it wasn't as acceptable or as accessible as it is now.

When my mum fell pregnant with me, she already had four other children to look after, and she was married to my dad who had schizophrenia. He was extremely physically and mentally abusive to her, beating her often -- once was with a chain.

They were struggling financially and my mum really didn't want to bring me into the world, so she tried to force herself to miscarry with a hot bath and alcohol, but obviously it didn't work.

I am quite sure that if abortion had been as accessible then as it is now, I wouldn't be here to share this story.

My mum is the one who confessed to me that she had tried to abort me. I don't know why she told me -- I never thought to ask because I knew she loved me and she did her best by us. Of course, she made mistakes -- some huge ones, but growing up, I saw my mom as a strong woman who found herself in a difficult situation.

My dad took his own life when I was 18 months old. Then my mum had a partner after him who was a horrible bully to us, but she loved him. They split when I was 8 years old and I was overjoyed. My mum and I had a great relationship.

I did struggle with issues of self worth, but I think that was more to do with feeling abandoned by my dad, which is crazy I know. I found my faith when my mum died. I was a single parent myself with an eight month old baby. My mum was my rock, my foundation, my breath. I was heartbroken.

I had dabbled with party drugs before that, but then I met a guy a few months
Kerry Ann Beckley, 2nd from the right
after I lost my mum, and I was doing all kinds of drugs at that point. My life felt like fun, but I was an emotional mess. My friend invited me to church one day and I liked it. I didn't feel judged by anyone there. I love to sing, so I always enjoyed the music worship -- I still do! I went on to take an Alpha course -- learning the basics of who Christ is -- and I found my faith. At first, I wanted to ensure my ticket to Heaven so I would see my mum again, but then finding out what Jesus had done for me and that he would mend my brokenness, was just so attractive!

 My relationship with Christ has taught me that I have value and purpose, because He laid down His life for me, so that I could be all that He wants me to be. I mess up daily, but I know that His grace is sufficient and His mercies are new each morning! My start looked incredibly bleak and who in this day and age would try to convince a woman in that situation to keep her child? My friend put it like this: my mum's pregnancy (me) wasn't the problem -- my mum's situation was. She needed to get all of us away from my dad. She should have been safe, she should have had someone to turn to, to help her relocate, and my dad really should have gone to prison or been committed. She thought she had no way out, but that should never be the case!

A baby is never the problem. A baby is a blessing. The circumstances and situation may be a huge problem, but they can be changed. I just really want people to understand that a bad start doesn't mean a bad end.

I am a wife, a mother, a foster parent, a volunteer for a homeless charity, a friend, a sister and a voice for the unborn. I am living out God's purpose for my life. It looked like such a bleak situation, but I had a reason for being -- as every child who is conceived does!

 My husband is as passionate about defending the rights of the unborn as I am. I knew Paul when I was a teenager, and I had a crush on him then. We reconnected through Facebook and got married in 2013. We have so much respect for each other, so that even when we at times drive each other crazy, we are such good friends and we always have each other's backs.

Especially given my own beginnings, I am passionate about the unborn having a right to life! Just by defending the unborn, many think I'm being judgmental to those who have had abortions, but I'm really not. I hate abortion -- but just as I still loved my mum who had attempted to abort me, I don't hate people for having one.

BIO: Kerry Ann Beckley is a wife and mother, residing in Reading, England. She is a foster care giver, a worship singer at her church, and a pro-life blogger for Save The 1.

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