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Save the 1 Speaker Websites
Wednesday, May 13, 2015
She Was "Sad and Skeptical About Rape Babies" by Rebecca Kiessling
Why should I have to prove my worth and my right to life? When I first learned at the age of 18 that I
was conceived in rape, I instantly felt targeted and devalued by our society
because I’d heard what people said about pregnancy “in cases of rape.” Right away, I felt I was in a position where
I would have to justify my own existence – that I would have to prove myself to
the world that I shouldn’t have been aborted and that I was worthy of living.
BIO: Rebecca Kiessling was conceived in rape and nearly aborted, but legally protected by law in Michigan pre-Roe v Wade. She's an attorney, pro-life speaker and blogger, and President of Save The 1. Her own website is www.rebeccakiessling.com
I’ve since found my own value, identity and
purpose in Christ, being created by God, in His image, and for a purpose, so I
no longer feel I need to prove my worth to others in order to feel worthy. Instead, I share my worth out of gratitude
for my own life being spared and in order that others may see the value of those
who are still at risk – those who are in harm’s way as yet unborn and being
targeted for abortion in the clinics, in legislation, and in people’s hearts
and minds.
Whenever I speak, I share this aspect of my
journey, but people are shocked to hear that I actually do get challenged to
prove my value, to demonstrate my positive contribution to society and to justify my right not to have been aborted. This recent e-mail is a
case in point. It was a tough inquiry to
receive, but you’ll see my hopefully patient (and prayerful) responses below,
and the ultimate outcome of the exchange:
I’m feeling sad and
skeptical about rape babies. I’d love to
consider myself pro-life due to biblical reasons, but I just don’t really see
what good can ever come out of a rape baby.
I still think that it sometimes furthers the victimization of a rape
victim. And it’s also because I’m very
sad and disturbed by your blog.
I just think
sometimes that it would be better if these babies never existed -- that every
single one would naturally be miscarried by God’s will, so no one could bully
them for their skeleton in their closet. Like I said, the subject manner disturbs
me to the point where I vomit. I wish that every child was conceived in love
and not violence because that's the way it should be. And I'm sad to say that the only way I could
fully believe all of you rape mothers and children is if you were to pray for
the peace of God that transcends all my futile understanding and my volatile,
overly-sensitive emotions.
There is no story in
the whole world that can fully change my mind. The only way I could ever is if
I were to befriend a victim or become the Bride of a man whom was the product
of abuse. I'm so sorry to be brutally
honest; it's just that my heart grieves to the point where I feel the struggle
to overcome the sin of prejudice. I'm so
angry at God that he allows this to occur.
Dear __, I appreciate
you going to our blog and taking the time to reach out to us. Your
concerns are the most common, but research shows that rape victims are four
times more likely to die within the next year after the abortion vs. giving
birth. Dr. David Reardon's book Victims and Victors:
Speaking Out About Their Pregnancies, Abortions and Children Resulting
From Sexual Assault explains this: http://www.amazon.com/Victims-Victors-Pregnancies-Abortions-Resulting/dp/0964895714.
So it's a myth which gets perpetuated -- that a rape victim would be better off
after an abortion, that her child would be a reminder of the rape, and that she
would even see her child as a "rape baby," as you put it.
I understand a lot of what you're saying. You would definitely feel differently if you
knew someone personally. I wished I wasn’t
conceived in rape, but I do believe now that God definitely bring good out of
evil, and uses tragic situations to bring healing. He doesn't intend the evil of course, but his
trademark is redeeming really awful situations.
-- Rebecca
Her reply (again, challenging for me to read,
but I think she candidly articulates a lot of what most people really wonder or
think):
What has God done in your life personally besides this blog
that has made your tragic family life worth the pain? Tell me what you have been doing: like
marriage, dating, children, jobs, friendship, volunteer work; any of that. I am curious to see how God has given your
life joy and purpose. I'm sorry if I
have ever been difficult to handle. I'm
emotionally impulsive when I hear something sad.
First of all, my birthmother
and her husband legally adopted me 3-1/2 years ago because my adoptive family
was really screwed up (long story of abuse and abandonment.) My own
adoption by my birthmother was our fairy-tale ending. She says I'm a
blessing to her, I honor her and I bring her healing! I love adoption -- my two oldest are adopted
(very open adoption,) and we adopted a baby with special needs -- Cassie -- who
died in our arms at 33 days old. It was an honor to take care of her and
was definitely one of the most important things I'd ever done in my life.
She died because of medical malpractice.
Married for nearly 17
years, we have 5 children now – two adopted sons and our three biological
daughters. Here's my son's story: http://www.lifenews.com/2014/08/29/my-teen-mom-was-a-convicted-drug-user-should-i-have-been-aborted/
He wrote it last September at 12 years old.
Besides being the
president and founder of Save The 1, I also co-founded Hope After Rape
Conception. I'm a family law attorney, though I closed my law
practice to have my children and to home school until 2-1/2 years ago.
I make baby quilts which
I donate to pregnancy resource centers and I give to moms in unplanned
pregnancies. My birthmother taught me to sew! I also taught
my children to quilt, as well as many of my friends and their children.
I've volunteered with orphan care, Sunday school, feeding the disadvantaged, free
legal work, volunteer work for a maternity home, and helping in various ways with
pregnancy resource centers. I changed the hearts of Gov. Rick Perry and
Newt Gingrich on this issue during their presidential campaigns!
A large part of what I do is helping others to understand their
value, identity and worth because lots of people struggle with these issues --
not just those conceived in rape. I hope
this helps! -- Rebecca
Her final response – from someone who said “there is no story in
the world that can fully change my mind”:
Dear Rebecca, thank you so much for your time to
straighten out my emotional acting out -- I'm really glad you told me about
your life. I really think I'll be okay
now. I still wish that men wouldn't
rape, but at least the world knows a lot more than they used to and I can say
that I'm pro-life to my college professors without paranoia or anxiety. I even
talked about helping people like you with my mom and dad. They told me I'm too sensitive in personality
to be involved directly in domestic politics; yet, I'm praying about being a
free English tutor for troubled families as well as being an anti-pornography informant
or activist. After all, the porn
industry has been statistically linked to the sexual violence pandemic. I'm so glad that you are living life well and
to the best of your ability; keep telling people that just because your birth
father was an evil scumbag doesn't mean that you are. Thanks Rebecca, you have
really touched and strengthened my heart. With much sincerity.
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1 comments:
This woman sounds as though she herself was the victim of rape. Or maybe the product of rape. It sounds as though she's trying to find her own worth. I'm glad you were able to help her. And no, you don't have to justify your existence to anybody.
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